I'm back ! I have been traveling a bit, and couldn't type (but I never go anywhere without a drawing pad now, so I worked on some pieces of art related to the story. Check them out on tumblr soon !).

I've also been thinking on the story too :) It's pretty much complete in my head, but it doesn't hurt to have more ideas popping in, right ? (except for Varian maybe… I may be mean to him in the future…)

This chapter is a bit short, but I couldn't wait to post again !

Chapter 31

Neither the Queen nor Varian would have been able to say how long their embrace lasted. Arianna kept rubbing circles on his back or sometimes moved her hand up to his hair to remind him that she was there, but she silently let him cry and waited for him to calm down. It was too early to talk, for both of them.

She had little to no experience with teenagers after all, especially when their troubled mind and heart came in the way. And this particular boy was a riddle himself. Of course, these past months' events had clearly left deep wounds in him. In addition to that, he was still so young, no wonder he was struggling to understand and control his emotions.

While she was holding him close to her, she was pondering these things. The truth behind the anger started to dawn on her. Pushing his friends away was the only response he was able to give, overwhelmed and terrified by his own actions and their consequences. He was actually blaming himself more than them. She felt a pang in her heart, trying to imagine how he felt as he shouted at them, blinded by his resolute desire to protect Elora and Ruddiger from himself.

Things were far from being as clear in Varian's head.

All he knew was that he wouldn't stop crying. He just couldn't. He felt very childish, like a kid who broke his toy after tossing it in the air. He didn't even know why he said those words, and he regretted them the moment they left his mouth. Because the Varian that was still there, deep down, would never have sent people away like that. On the contrary, he used to be that boy who would have gone to the moon and back to get a tiny speck of recognition, love maybe, in return. Now he felt completely lost and angry at himself for being such an idiot.

His sobs suddenly stopped as he could hear some voices arguing in the room next door. Arianna also lifted up her head as she froze to listen.

"This is my patient we are talking about, Ethel, and you are not going in there", Remyus' voice boomed, trying to be intimidating.

"Out of my way, old man !" came Ethel's biting reply. "You know she was upset after seeing the boy, and I'm going to find out what he knows."

Arianna looked down at Varian, green eyes meeting blue. His face was wet with tears.

"Here, Varian", she said softly as she handed out a handkerchief to him so he could blow his nose, "Will you please stay here for a minute ? I'll be right back."

She stepped off the bed where she was sitting and bolted out the door, leaving the sniffing boy behind her.

"What is going on, here ?" whispered the Queen, hoping to shush them both.

"Your Majesty", replied Ethel, barely calming down, "I haven't seen Elora for several hours now. I have been looking all over for her, but it's like she just vanished."

Arianna bit down her lower lip.

"Oh, that's terrible. I will send some guards to find her. Don't worry, Ethel, we'll find her, she can't be far."

"Your Majesty, with all due respect, the boy…"

"Needs some time and rest, Ethel. I'm sorry, I know I am asking a lot from you, but he has been in this room for hours, unconscious most of the time, and there is no way he can have a clue where…"

"I will go and look for her", a shaky yet determined voice burst in.

Remyus, Ethel and Arianna all turned their heads to see the teenager standing in the doorway. His sling was gone – he obviously just decided to take it off. He had given his face a quick wipe. But the most outstanding sight was his eyes, still red and watery from crying, making the blue drop in his iris look even brighter.

"Varian, you shouldn't be up", the Queen scolded half-heartedly.

"I MUST go and find her !", he shouted, ignoring her last words. "Ruddiger… is missing too" he added softly. "I'm the one who shouted at them. I must go and find them. Please" he begged, very much like he begged on a not-so-distant snow day. The mere memory made him sway and wobble on his weak legs.

Arianna was already by his side and wrapped her arm around his waist for support.

"Please let me go find them" he added in a whisper, his pleading eyes digging into hers.

Arianna nodded, understanding how important it was to him. Not only right now, but also for the future. If he could face his responsibilities regarding Elora and Ruddiger, it would pave the way for him when it will come to facing some of his other bad choices.

"All right, Varian, but you will have to use the wheelchair. You don't have the energy for a long walk, and you know it."

Varian seemed about to reply, but he knew better than arguing with the Queen on such matters. So he simply muttered "Okay" and made his way to the wheelchair. Remyus brought a blanket to cover his legs. Only Ethel stayed back, torn between her worry for Elora, her irritation at Varian and some wonder for the boy's persistence.

"So, Varian, do you have any idea where to look first ?" Arianna asked once he was sitting on the chair, kneeling down so their eyes would be on the same level.

"Miss Ethel," he asked politely, sensing her coolness towards him, "Where have you been looking so far ?"

"Well, everywhere in the castle. She knows every part of it. She could be anywhere."

Varian was fighting his fatigue to think hard. He didn't know the castle so well, and he didn't know Elora so well either after all. Come on, Varian, think. What do you know about Elora ? What does she like ? What could bring her some comfort ? Well, the little girl had seldom stepped into his room without a…

"Book ! The library ! Have you checked there ?" he asked, leaning forward hopefully.

"Yes, I have" replied Ethel with her head down. "She wasn't there."

Varian sat back in frustration. All he needed was one clue.

What about Ruddiger ? Where would his raccoon go if he felt sad ?

Suddenly, it hit him.

"The garden !" he exclaimed. "The chestnut alley where we had our picnic ! Ruddiger loved that, and he probably felt more comfortable outside. Elora could be with him, couldn't she ?"

Ethel's eyes widened. She had been so set on the idea that Elora was probably crying somewhere in a corner that she never thought of that.

"Your Majesty," Ethel inquired with a respectful bow, "May I take Varian outside myself, if you please ?"

Arianna smiled and nodded.

"Yes, of course, Ethel. Please do. I hope you will find them there."