Those few minutes felt like an eternity. I held my breath and readied myself his reply.

"Never," he answered confidently.

"H-huh?" I winced.

"I know you Vanji Kageyama. You'd never hurt me like that. I know you are someone who can't leave things unfinished.. something like this would eat away at you until you faced it head on," Hinata sighed.

I looked away and fiddled with the sheets around us.

The bed shifted and suddenly Hinata was hovering over me with both of his hands placed next to my head pinning me in place.

"Hey? What are you-" I began.

"So... did you sort it out?" he blurted.

"Hinata I-"

"I'll respect your decision regardless.. but if either of us is going to move forward I need to know," he leaned in closer, "Did you make your choice?"

"Choice?" I scoffed, "Hinata, this isn't some anime reverse harem.. I am not torn between you two."

"Wait.. what?" he said dumbfounded.

"I'm not caught between the two of you.. I'm just.. confused. You're both big aspects of my life and I used to be someone just fine being on her own.. but.. then you came. Flipped my entire life upside down.. then as fast as you appeared, you left from it.." I felt tears sting my eyes.

"I didn't do that by choice, Vanji," he stroked my cheek, "You know that."

"Do I?" I sniffled, "Hinata, Brazil was your decision. MSBY was your decision. You couldn't have expected me to wait around for whenever you had a free moment to pick up the pieces.."

"I never wanted that!" he defended, "I didn't ever want to lose you! Not to anyone or anything!"

Anyone?? Was this still about us?? Or was this about Tsuki?

"Lose me?! I'm not a possession Hinata!" I spat.

"No-no that's not what I meant! Please.." he softened.

I rolled over to lay on my stomach and faced the pillows burying my face into them.

"Sunshine..."

I hid myself further.

"Baby.."

Please stop it..

Those words starting resounding in my mind:

"You don't get to call me that! You're.. not mine."

"Shoyo..." I whimpered, "Please.. You're.. not mine.. and I'm not yours.. we aren't even together... "

I could tell he'd tensed. Then, he moved off of me and was sitting on the other side of the bed:

"What are you so afraid of?"

I sat up, "Afraid?"

"Vanji, every chance we get to get back to the beginning, you run away from it. Literally apparently," he deadpanned.

"Hey.. I don't-" I froze.

"Wow.. did I-" he choked back a laugh, "Did I just shut up a Kageyama?"

I glared at him, "Don't change the subject.. Hinata, I'm.. I'm afraid to fall for you.."

"Afraid-" he stammered.

"I can't love you just to lose you to circumstances again."

We both sat on the edge of the bed. Unsure of where this would lead us from here.

~~~

The next morning, I woke to find myself alone in the king size bed. The missing pillow and extra quilt let me know Hinata must've moved to the living room to sleep. I sat up and wrapped on of the blankets around myself and tiptoed to the master bathroom.

I washed my face in the sink and looked into the mirror. My eyes were red and a bit puffy. Probably all the crying is been doing throughout the night. I still had no idea what I felt.

I tread lightly to enter the living area to grab my things. I expected to find Hinata snoring but when I looked around. He was nowhere to be found.

I remembered he'd mentioned staying on top of his workouts during his absence from MSBY. I figured he wouldn't be back for a while so I gathered my things and called for a taxi.

After locking up Hinata's place, I'd headed downstairs and awkwardly avoided eye contact with most of the other residents. I'd noticed a lot of them watching me. Probably no thanks to the media coverage of Shoyo and I's 'relationship'.

Once outside, thankfully, my taxi had arrived. I hurriedly got in and instructed the driver to my address. I gazed out at the street and, even though the sun was shining and it appeared a beautiful day, I'd never felt so somber.

Bzzzzz..

I reached and pulled my phone out of my pocket and read the alert notification.

1 New Message: UNKNOWN

Curiously, I opened the message:

"Hey Vanji! It's Kira Tamaki from class! Us and the rest of the third years are going to be hosting a get together tonight for the class to celebrate graduation! We'd love to see you there!! :)"

Hmm.. might be good for me to get some space from everything going on.

I texted back, "Sure! Text me details and I'll be there!"

A few moments later she replied with an address and time.

I decided to text a couple of the third years on the volleyball team to ask if they would come, to which, of course, being the reliable bunch they were, answered with an excitable "YES" followed by a plethora of emojis.

Tonight should really help calm my nerves... right??

~~~