Hi, friends ! As Varian's 180 may not be very clear, I tried to insert more explanations here. And well, we are talking about a teenager in a very complicated situation. Resolution cannot happen in one day, and progress is never linear.
I also posted some art with Arianna and Remyus to try the physician's design. I made some sketches a while ago, and when I saw Megan Guess' ask, I decided to give it a try ! Not that easy to draw an OC, especially an old man (for me) !
And with that, on with the story !
Please read & review ! It always makes my day !
CHAPTER 37
"All right. Deep breaths."
As the King's wife, Queen Arianna had met hundreds of people at court, welcomed some of the most powerful rulers around and spoken in public too many times to count. Yet, at that moment, none of those situations had been half as intimidating as stepping into Varian's room.
She was walking on eggshells, to say the least. She knew she was dealing with a teenager about to hit puberty, so mood swings were to be expected. But there was more than that to Varian's instability. Even if he took a big step forward by patching things up with Elora and Ruddiger, it didn't mean he was ready to open up about his actions and feelings towards everyone.
The events that unfolded since the black rocks sprouted up had put Varian and Rapunzel in a situation that was bigger than them with the tragic consequences they all knew. In reaction to his father frozen in amber and being left alone, Varian made some bad calls he now had to face. But that wouldn't be easy and Arianna could tell he could never snap out of his "it's not my fault" attitude without help, the only solution he was able to find to cope with this horrid mess so far.
There was a wall in his heart that had to come down, the one that was protecting this young soul from the rage, the hatred, the fear, the sadness and the full acknowledgment of his responsibilities. Unfortunately this wall was also keeping Varian away from learning to trust again, make up for his mistakes and eventually forgive himself.
It would take time for him to sort through his complex feelings., but there was hope for him to come back from this, she was sure of that. So whether the boy was willing or not, Arianna was determined to stay by his side every step of the way with all the care and love she could provide.
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Alone in his room (except for the two guards standing outside his door and Remyus who pretended to be busy to give the kid some space), Varian started to get dressed. Not because he decided to listen to the Queen, but because it felt good to put on his own clothes again. Ragged and tattered as they were, he still preferred them to any of the fine shirts he had worn so far.
Varian decided that a quick wash wouldn't hurt, especially with clean clothes to put on. He absently noticed that the little holes and loose stitches he knew had been mended while he was bedridden. Ethel did a very good job at making his clothes look good as new.
The soup remained untouched though. Not only did he still feel he wouldn't keep anything down, but he was also not ready to let the Queen think he would abide by her every will.
So strange how his mind seemed divided in two. Part of it was still very angry after Corona and the Royal Family and just wanted to reject everyone. But another part, the one he would not admit out loud, was yearning to feel her arms around him again and to hear the soft words that would bring reassurance. It was like there were voices in his head, at war for his willpower and ripping his brain in the process. Varian sat on the edge on his bed and held his head on his hands, breathing heavily.
Arianna came back exactly thirty minutes later like she said, carrying a small wicker basket and Varian's leather apron and thick black gloves across her arm. With a quick look across the room, she picked up on what the boy had decided to do (and what he decided not to do) while she was away.
"Varian, I would like you to follow me now. We are going in another part of the castle and you will know why when we get there", she said turning her heels as she spoke. She didn't let Varian any chance to reply. Irritated as he was not to be given a choice, he was also grateful that he didn't have to utter a "Yes, Your Majesty" that would have sounded fake on his tongue.
As she exited, Arianna stopped by the two guards. "Phil ? Hans ? You are coming with us, of course."
"Yes, Your Majesty", answered Phil respectfully. The other guard, Hans, said nothing, his expression unreadable, but when Varian came out of the room, he grabbed the teen's upper arm firmly.
"Hey !" Varian's reaction to the unexpected touch escaped his lips before he had time to realize.
The Queen whipped around at the sudden cry.
"Hans, please. That won't be necessary", she commanded.
Hans clenched his jaw in an almost imperceptible way and reluctantly let go of Varian.
"Sorry, Your Majesty. Should I stand behind the prisoner ?", he asked with a very even voice until the last word. Varian could have sworn he emphasized it on purpose and glared at the red-haired, but the man was ignoring him already.
"Yes, please" answered a very calm Arianna. "And I would be grateful if you would use physical contact only when necessary in the future."
"As you wish, Your Majesty", Hans relented with his lips drawn into a tight smile, observed by a confused Phil and a now much more wary Varian.
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The small party walked down the palace's hallways, Arianna leading the way until they reached the outside of the throne room. The sight of the huge doors brought back uneasy memories to Varian. It reminded him of the day when he saw his father lie to the King about the black rocks. To this day, Varian still failed to understand why he acted that way and tried to handle the situation by himself.
The throne room had other purposes. It was where weddings were traditionally celebrated and it was sometimes used as a courthouse or the presents' room on Rapunzel's birthday. Outside the room, the hallway was different from all the others Varian had seen so far. It had a huge crack running from floor to ceiling. Arianna stopped in front of a big sack, some tools and a bucket of water.
"Here is joint compound powder and putty knives in different sizes", the Queen explained. "Phil and Hans will help you mix the powder with the water so you can fill the crevice."
"So is this what you expect from me, Your Majesty ?", the boy sneered. "Doing some sort of community service and slaving away in your castle ?"
"Not exactly, Varian", her voice remaining calm as she turned around to face him. "It's called fixing your mistakes. You see, this crevice is the result of an automaton attacking Rapunzel, Eugene and Cassandra within these walls," and with that, she handed the apron and gloves to Varian.
Varian took them without really thinking of it, his mind reeling. He never thought twice of the first automaton he sent in separate pieces, hidden in present boxes. Nor of the damage it may have caused.
Sensing the boy's embarrassment, Arianna went on. "I am not expecting you to fix it completely today in your condition. I am expecting you to start though, and do as much as you can. I will be back in one hour. Don't strain yourself, though."
Varian was trying to find a witty remark to shoot back at her, but his mind was now blank. She was asking this so naturally, as if it was a perfectly normal thing for the person he almost killed to ask him to repair a stupid crack in the wall.
"And I am leaving this basket for you. You might get hungry at some point, and you'll need all your energy. Please help yourself."
She had this basket with her even before she saw I didn't eat anything, he thought, dumbfounded. How did she know ?...1
Once the Queen left, Varian let out a deep sigh, feeling suddenly very tired. He spent a rough night because of his nightmare, and had an empty stomach. And his muscles had been at rest for quite some time, so much that his limbs felt like noodles, and the mere thought of the efforts required for his so-called job was strenuous already.
"Get to work, brat, and let's get it over with."
Hans's cold voice surprised both Varian and Phil the guard. As tense as the relationship between the Queen and the boy seemed to be, Her Majesty had always been very polite and respectful to Varian. Phil spontaneously reacted :
"Hans, give the lad a break, will you ?"
"He is a prisoner and has to do what he's told. What's the matter with you, Phil ? Maybe you want to massage his shoulders before the poor baby gets started ?" he teased.
"Hans…" Phil snarled warningly, sensing anger building up inside him.
"That's all right, Sir. I… I'll get to it," came Varian's low voice.
Phil turned around in surprise and cooled off.
"Oh… Okay. So, erm… should we start with the joint compound mixture ?"
Varian's big eyes looked up at the guard, a shy smile showing across his face.
Little did he know that as he started to fix the crevice in the wall that he was taking in first step on the path of mending the cracks of his own heart.
