Wow, thank you for your enthusiasm and comments ! I'm glad you are enjoying all the twists and turns that come from my (probably) damaged mind (ha ha !).

Let's have a reprieve and some fluff for once ! (Don't you worry angst lovers, not everything is solved yet !)

Chapter 38

Funny how something as simple as mixing water and joint powder felt good. It was quite simple to make, but it was like Varian was allowed to practice alchemy again. Choose the quantities, mix the components, adjust to get the desired texture, mix again…

Phil readily helped the boy with the stirring, as it was pretty hard for his weak arms. But the rest was Varian's job to do.

Not that Hans would have helped anyway. He just stood a few steps away, seeming utterly bored (or slightly irritated).

Hans' plans didn't go as he expected. After a personal failure in the Kingdom of Arendelle, he came to Corona with the hope he could woo the newly found princess. He heard how she had been missing for eighteen years, after escaping from a tower where she grew up. How easy it would be to seduce her. A girl who knew next to nothing to real life. And Hans, on the other hand, knew all the tricks to make girls fall for him.

Word on the street was that she was more or less engaged though. But that didn't stop Hans and his ambition for power. She fell in love with the man who rescued her, so what ? Of course she would. What a naïve girl she must be.

Yet, Hans didn't get his chance. The Princess was away, on a journey far from Corona, or so they said. Having no clue about when she would return, Hans decided to get hired in the Royal Guard for one purpose and one purpose only : to make sure he would be in the castle when she would come back.

In the meantime, as a member of the Royal Guards of Corona, little had he expected to end up babysitting the youngest criminal he had ever seen.

Unaware of Hans' contempt, Varian started filling the crevice in the wall. Using the putty knife, his gloved hands mended what had been broken with controlled, even strokes as he made the surface smooth again. Working with his hands enabled Varian's mind to escape from his dark thoughts, filling him with a new feeling instead. For the first time in months, he was making something rather than destroying things. More than that, he was fixing something he was responsible for. Like in the old days, when he would spontaneously start cleaning up his mess after yet another explosion when his experiments didn't turn out well, because it was the right thing to do. He wasn't sure why, but he felt somehow…at peace for a little while.

Varian was in many ways an overachiever. No matter what he would do, he would always do his best. And this wall was no exception. Anybody in the young alchemist's situation would have gotten the job done in the most slovenly way. But not Varian. Consciously or not, he couldn't fight back that boy inside him who was so desperate for love and validation that everything had to be perfect and worthy of praise.

Arianna had asked for a quite small ladder for Varian's task, one that would not allow him to do too much for his first session. She had started to understand a lot of things about the boy. She knew that if he started this, he would overwork himself. Her point was to make Varian see things differently and realize he could make up for his mistakes. It was only a cracked wall, a grain of sand compared to the injured guards or the attempts of murder, but it was a start. The last thing she wanted was for him to strain himself or worse, faint from hard work combined to the lack of food and sleep.

Yet Varian's efforts soon proved to be too much for his tired body. As he bent down to get more joint compound and straightened up too fast, he swayed on his feet, feeling dizzy but trying to step on the ladder all the same.

"Varian !" came Phil's sudden cry as he realized what was happening. "Hold on !". Leaving his halberd to fall on the floor with a clank, the young guard reached Varian just in time to steady him before he fell backwards. The putty knife fell down, sending joint compound sprawling onto the carpet.

"Hold on", he repeated soflty. "Easy now, lad. Sit down for a minute, okay ?"

Phil settled Varian on the floor with his back resting against the wall. The kid pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his head in his arms, trembling slightly.

Phil wasn't sure what to do. He wasn't a nurse or a doctor. He put a reassuring hand on Varian's shoulder to tell him he was there while giving him some time to recover and looked up at his colleague. Hans didn't move an inch and just rolled his eyes.

Looking around, Phil's eyes fell on the Queen's basket. Then it hit him ! He didn't mean to eavesdrop earlier, but as he was standing outside Remyus's back room, he couldn't help but hear that the old physician was trying to get the stubborn kid to eat. No doubt that he fainted because he was starving.

"You know, you really should take a bite, now. Let's have a look inside that basket, shall we ?"

Varian barely lifted his head, just enough for his eyes to peek from underneath his overgrown bangs, blue gaze contrasting with his raven mop of hair. He looked at Phil but kept his lips sealed, then slowly stretched to press the back of his head to the wall, eyes closed, silently begging his head to stop spinning.

"Okay, here's something to drink. Apple juice, I guess. And – hey ! Ham sandwiches !"

Varian's eyes snapped open and went wide. She… how did she do that ? Was she a witch ? For once Varian was tempted to believe in magic. It seemed a better option than the obvious truth. The only reason he could logically see was that she observed him at the picnic and she found out he was a fan of ham sandwiches. And she probably did because… she cared.

How was this possible ?

With the back of his head still pressed on the wall, Varian shifted his gaze to look at the food that Phil, who was still browsing, was holding in his hand. Varian seemed frozen, if it weren't for his eyes that started to shimmer with new tears.

When Phil lifted up his gaze to Varian, hoping he would take the food from him, he went still for a second before saying on a light tone :

"That stupid joint powder ! Gets everywhere, right ?". His eyes never leaving Varian's, the young guard's lips curled into a sad, knowing smile. Varian stared at him, and quickly wiped his eyes with the back of his glove :

"Erm… yeah. Yeah, it's a pain," and he weakly returned the smile as he held out his hand to grab the ham sandwich.

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When the one-hour time was done, Varian was brought back to his room. Arianna had gotten the wheelchair and Varian was grateful for it. The few bites he finally managed to take had not been enough for him to regain his full strength, and they were far from counterbalancing the energy the boy spent making the wall whole again. After all, he was barely recovering from the poison Nigel forced him to swallow.

Even after such a short separation, the reunion of Varian and Ruddiger looked like a celebration of their own. The raccoon crooned and nuzzled his friend, while the boy cuddled and petted his furry companion.

Arianna's smile faded away as she became serious again, stern thoughts obviously making their way through her mind. She politely asked Varian to sit down on the edge of the bed next to her.

"Varian, we didn't really get the opportunity to talk about all that happened since you are in this castle. I know these are painful memories, but I would like you to tell me about the events in the dungeon."

Varian turned his gaze away, mouth shut and eyes looking into the void. He did remember. Those moments often came back to haunt him when he expected them the least. He remembered, but he wasn't sure he wanted to put these images into words. When it became too painful to think about them, he closed his eyes, very much the same way he did when Rapunzel prompted him to talk about the black rocks destroying his village.

Varian tried to focus on something else, and the most pleasant and recent memory he could hold on to was something that still seemed very peculiar to him : it was Queen Arianna's beaming face when she came back in the hallway earlier. He was still up the ladder working on the wall, the putty knife in one hand and a ham sandwich in the other. He couldn't really grasp why, but it almost looked like there was… pride in her eyes.

So this was what it looked like. The pride in their eyes.

He swallowed hard and braced himself.

"It was cold. There was a damp smell around. Ruddiger was there to keep me sane. But this man dressed in a dark cloak came into my cell. He… slapped me and dragged me to another cell. I had no idea what this was about. It was only when he pushed me inside that I got scared. Really scared. I was standing alone – well, rather kneeling – in front of those two huge men."

"Who were they ?" asked the Queen, trying to keep her tone calm.

"I don't know their names. Two giants, they look so much like each other. One had a patch on his eye and never talked. He scared me most. They started to beat me up and there was nothing I could do about it."

Varian couldn't take any more. His head suddenly sank, his shoulders shaking. He buried his face in his hands as he started to sob. Ruddiger pressed his head against his friend's side in comfort.

"I thought I was going to die., he cried "I really did. I tried to scream for help, but no one came. They kept hurting me over and over, and everything was pain. I… I knew I deserved it, but I didn't want to die. Not like this. Not without freeing my father…I…"

Soft hands embraced his shoulders and pulled him gently into a hug. He let himself be cuddled, the need for physical comfort too strong to be denied. He grabbed Arianna's dress like he was afraid she would vanish if he didn't.

"Shh…shh… don't ever say that you deserve the horrible things that happened to you. That's not true, honey, and I'm so sorry. This never should have happened. You have been very brave to reminisce all this. Calm down, now, you're safe here. No one's going to hurt you."

Varian couldn't say another word, sobs growing louder as he cried himself out. Arianna stayed with him, holding him in her arms until he fell asleep. He still had some joint compound on his face and in his hair, but it didn't matter. When the last hiccups and shudders died away and she was sure he was fast asleep, she gently laid him down next to his beloved Ruddiger for a well-earned nap time.