We both stood silent in each other's company. I bit my lip contemplating what needed to be said. I had so much to say-
Why didn't you call or text?
Why did you not visit during my time in the hospital?
How are you?
I'm so proud of you..
Where were you when I needed you?
My thoughts were in a tail spin.
"So how's LA?" Hinata broke the silence.
"Oh umm.. it's been great-" I shrugged.
"That's great." he grinned.
We both laughed awkwardly. You could literally hear a pin drop.
"Look Vanji I-" Hinata began.
"Don't," I interrupted, "Just listen."
He look surprised but nodded and pursed his lips.
"I don't blame you, alright. I understand you didn't come for your own reasons and I accept that. And honestly, if I hadn't gotten back on my feet the way I did, I don't know if I'd be standing in this stadium with you."
"Vanji, the only reason I didn't was-"
"Because you blamed yourself?"
His gaze dropped and I saw his posture slouch. He looked defeated.
"You may think it's a joke.. but I do.. I can't forgive myself for not being there that night.." he whispered.
"Hinata, it's nothing that's anyone's fault except that bastard, Yuki's.." I grit my teeth hating the taste that name left in my mouth.
"Wait..." Hinata's hissed, "Yuki? Yuki Uchimaku?"
The harshness in his voice startled me a bit, "Y-yeah."
"It was that asshole?" Hinata growled.
"Yeah.. he talked about how much he hated the team, mainly Tobio.. and.. other stuff.. but that's besides the point. After my report and other evidence, the police were able to arrest him for my assault and apparently a lot of others that hadn't been reported yet," I explained.
Hinata was shaking. I'd never seen him so angry.
"Hinata?" I pleaded.
No response. His gaze looked similar to that killer focus he'd get when in an intense gameplay, only this time, a different flame burned. One of pure rage.
"Hinata?" I called once more and slowly moved towards him.
I carefully reached out to place my hand on his shoulder when he caught me by the wrist. I jumped at the sudden contact. He didn't tighten his grip, or use any force. Instead, I felt him trembling, as though he'd break in front of me. Like his hold on me was the only thing tethering him to the earth.
"Hinata.." I whispered.
He yanked me into his chest and began sobbing, holding me close, "I'm so sorry."
The genuine pain I heard his voice and the heaviness of his breaths shattered my composure. A pain I hadn't released from my heart yet began to surface.
I needed him. I needed his voice, his warmth. He was the one I needed to hear most when I was suffering. I buried my face into his chest and let myself go, all the thoughts and feelings that had plagued me for so long flowed out.
My cries were muffled by his shirt and I clumsily swung my fists into him, needing to feel my pent up anger.
"Why did you leave? Why did you let me go?" my voice cracked.
He caught my hands in his to stop my attacks and held them tightly, "I don't know why I thought this was right. Not a damn day went by that I didn't hate myself for running away."
I stared into his eyes, that warm amber that always kept me safe and sound.
"But, I will NEVER fail you again.. Vanji, please.." his grip tightened slightly.
I could barely catch my breath between sobs, "Hinata..."
"No... say my name," he sniffled.
"I.. I can't.. it hurts to much," I whimpered.
"Please," he breathed.
I closed my eyes and spoke barely above a whisper, "Shoyo.."
Suddenly, his lips pressed against mine. I could feel my heart racing in my ears and warmth wash over me that I hadn't felt in so long.
My hand moved completely on its own and I felt the collision of my palm against his cheek. I pulled away and covered my mouth to muffle the squeak that escaped my lips.
We both were shocked, unsure how to react.
"I.. I'm sorry," I whispered and bolted out of the room.
I didn't look back.
What the hell are you doing Vanji?
