As promised, a new chapter ! Hope you'll like it ! The last two have been quite hard to write, for the reaction of Remyus especially. We know he knows about self-harm, in general and for Varian in particular, but I've added a bit of extra angst as he lost control for a moment. After all, he's just a man and he's very tired ! Not to mention the pressure because of the Queen's condition ! I wouldn't like to be in his shoes... But I think he'd be still understanding in the end.

I feel that I don't thank you enough for all your kind reviews. It's so nice to get a touch from you ! Even though I have a goal and I've decided to write this story, I won't lie, your comments also give me the courage to settle down and write more for you !

I forgot to reply to Sh3506, sorry about that ! Thanks for the idea ! I'm not going to spoil anything, but I have my plans for this fic. Just wait and read ! XD

, haha, yes you're right ! He does need a psychologist, but too bad it's not a thing in Corona (or so I headcanon)... Remyus, Arianna and the others are the best support he has !

I hope this chapter will soothe your hearts, after the previous one but also because of the current situation in the world... There can never be enough love and fluff ! (and a little bit of angst !)

CHAPTER 83

Moments later, Varian's arm was dressed in clean white bandages and the burning sensation was starting to fade away, to the boy's relief. When Remyus rubbed in the alcohol, he had been able to stifle his cries, coming out as whimpers through the log. But in the end, he was pretty much satisfied that he had been able to keep it relatively quiet. He swiftly wiped his face (with his good arm) to get rid of the tears that prickled at the corners of his eyes.

"Come on, Varian, quickly now," Remyus brought him out of his reverie and self-congratulation. "I need you to gently lift her head so I can make her drink the decoction. Do you think you can do that ?"

Varian simply nodded and sat on the edge of the bed, with one leg bent on the sheets so he could easily slide his knee under her for support when needed. Then, taking the back of her head in both hands with utmost tenderness, Varian said softly, his head above hers :

"Arianna, it's me. I'm going to lift you head and shoulders, just enough so you can drink the medicine you need. Please take it, ok ? It will make you feel better."

Arianna didn't actually respond and he was alarmed at how her nape was too warm and sweaty, but he forced himself to stay calm and focus on his task. His eyes met Remyus' and that glance was enough for both of them to know they were ready.

"Allow me, Your Majesty," Remyus said, hoping she could hear them.

The Queen barely woke up, still very much pulled by a dire need for sleep, as she felt caring hands raise her head and upper body. Then she felt the cold, hard glass of the vial against her lips. She managed to half-open her feverish eyes, more or less consciously registering Remyus' frame in front of her. With difficulty, she swallowed the cool liquid in two gulps, a brief relief for her sore throat.

Varian put her head down, keeping up with that gentleness he never knew he was capable of.

"You did very well," he whispered with a fond smile on his lips. Once she rested fully on the mattress again, he ran his hand in her hair, stroking it with a soothing regularity. He gave a little sigh as relief washed over him.

Remyus put down the vial on the bedside table.

"Now, Varian, I will take it from here. You can go back to the sick room and rest now."

Varian gave a start, his hand not leaving Arianna.

"Wh-? No, no I'm absolutely fine. I just had some sleep anyway, and I can sit back and- "

Remyus briefly wondered if he should mention how much the dark circles under his eyes betrayed his fatigue despite him falling asleep last night.

"Varian,", he decided, speaking gently and firmly, "it wasn't a question. I don't want you to overexert yourself and relapse."

Invisible walls were closing in rapidly around Varian's heart.

"Remyus, I… Please, just let me… I'll be good, I swear !", he cried, tears springing anew from his eyes. Panic was seizing him once again, and he could feel it grow at an exponential rate, but he tried to fight it anyway. "I'll behave… and I'll take it easy… I promise", he begged.

"Varian… Son…", Remyus replied, his hands on the boy's shoulders to steady him, "Listen, you are not being punished. And certainly not because of this," he specified with a glance towards the injured arm. "You were under a huge amount of stress and you tried to go through it. We can, and we will, talk about it later to help you with that. Now, listen. I need you to fully recover so you can be there for her. I need you to be reasonable and listen to your physician. I need you to be strong for me. And for her."

Varian helplessly let out a few sobs but he stopped arguing. He hung his head, hiding his eyes under his black locks. Remyus gave a light squeeze to his shoulders as they started to shake.

"Listen, I'm pretty sure Ethel is preparing breakfast for you as we speak. Go. Please eat something, rest and go outside for a bit. Why not take Ruddiger for a walk ? You should be able to find so blackberries now and I'm sure he will love that."

"Is it… Is it late summer already ?" Varian asked, his attention briefly caught on the new subject.

Remyus chuckled.

"Yes, yes we are. So make sure you get some sunlight on your face. Now, Pete and Stan should be outside the room, they will escort you back."

"Okay", Varian relented and he brushed the sleeping Queen's hair with his bare fingers one more time. "I'll be back, Arianna. Hang in there, ok ?"

Varian rolled down his sleeves and put his black gloves back on, carefully covering his bandages. Remyus smiled at him and nudged him gently out. In truth, it tore his heart apart to send the boy away and see him upset like that, but he couldn't let Varian be fully in charge. Just in case something bad happened. The kid would blame himself all his life and never recover from this.

The boy made his way to the door and stood there for a few seconds until he could bring himself to open it and walk out.

The bright morning sun invaded his eyes from the high windows at the far end of the hallway and he shielded his eyes with his arm. He could make out two silhouettes as expected, waiting for him and he clenched his jaw. Now he was back to being a prisoner. He would never get used to it.

"Varian ?"

For a second, Varian couldn't fully grasp why, but he felt that something was off. The voice was familiar, but he couldn't pinpoint whether it belonged to Stan or Pete.

As his eyes got adjusted to the pouring of light, his brain suddenly clicked. This wasn't Stan or Pete in front of him, and his eyes started to water again of their own accord. Closest to him was Alden, a confident smile on his lips that downright said, hey, I'm so glad to see you again, kid.

Behind him was standing Phil, his shoulders slightly hunched and unreadable, mixed emotions across his face. After all, last time they saw each other, Varian had shot him an icy glare as he believed Phil didn't trust him. Even though the young guard quickly pulled himself together at the time and tried to stand up for Varian, the boy knew nothing of it.

Unsure of the boy's reaction, he tentatively took a few steps towards Varian.

"Varian, I… listen, I'm… um, about the way we parted, I…" he began awkwardly. Why was it so difficult ? He tried to practice this many times while he was suspended, but every sentence he had carefully prepared had vanished from his brain.

By the door, the young alchemist was no better. The panic that had followed as Hans took him back to the dungeon had turned everything blurry in his head and he didn't remember much. But he also knew in his heart who Phil was. A caring friend.

I need you to be strong for her, Varian.

Remyus' words were still ringing in his head. He couldn't form a coherent thought, let alone words. So he ran the back of his gloved hand over his eyes, wiping the tears away. When he was done, there was a totally different expression on his face. Determination, sheer determination was back in the teen's heart.

Maybe he couldn't do much for the Queen's condition at the moment, but he could still hope she'd be ok, that she'd live. He had to, or he would collapse right there and then.

He had a project for her in mind. Had it for a few days, and now was the time to get on with it. And, good news, he didn't have to do it alone, he had friends. Most importantly, he decided he wouldn't be alone.

So he started to walk towards Phil and Alden and without slowing down his stride, grabbed them both by their sleeve and wordlessly led them back to his room.