I know I keep saying that, but I can't thank you enough for all your feedback, your comments and all the love your share for the story and its characters. It's hard for me to reply individually, but I love you, I am so grateful to have you as my readers. Special welcome to new readers, I am amazed that you are not appalled by the length of this fic, so congratulations for making it so far !

Also, Happy Birthday to Lena on Discord, I hope this chapter arrives in time for the occasion, and thank you for your immense support !

I absolutely loved writing that chapter, it's also a bit longer than usual and I hope you'll enjoy it too ! (and I know many of you have been expecting for "this" for a long time...)

CHAPTER 87

Shortly after Arianna came through, she requested that Phil and Alden visited her on the very next day, which Remyus flat out refused at first because of her condition.

She was still very weak, her appetite not quite back to normal and her energy scarce. But she insisted, persistent as she was, that it was important. In that, she had a lot in common with Varian, the old physician decided. The difference being that she was more reflective and diplomatic to get things her way.

And she always ended up getting this her way.

Remyus gave a defeated huff before getting as many cushions as he could in order to prop her in a sitting position in her bed.

There was a low, hesitant knock on the door.

"Come in", Remyus called out in the Queen's stead. As expected, Alden, stepped inside, his helmet under his arm, followed by Phil who closed the door. They couldn't help but feel a little uneasy, being in the Queen's apartments like that.

With difficulty, Arianna pushed herself up but it required more effort than she thought. It seemed her muscles were made of jelly, but she didn't complain and gracefully thanked the physician for his help.

"You sent for us, Your Majesty ?" Alden politely asked from where he stood.

"Indeed." Her voice was frail, hardly above a whisper. But there was a smile that could be heard as she spoke. "Please come closer."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Varian had been up quite early and was already working on his gift for Arianna. He had slept 3 hours in a row the day before, after he fainted in the King's arms, but he had such a substantial sleep debt that he was able to fall asleep quickly at night as well. Only when his body was a bit rested did dreams come back. They quickly turned into unpleasant scenarios (as they often did) and although Varian couldn't remember, those nightmares had made his eyes snap open like a jack-in-the-box before sunrise. So much for a long, restful night of sleep. But Varian had come to accept those early wakings. His scientific mind saw them as a coping mechanism his brain must have set to preserve his own sanity.

Still, Varian was feeling a bit more rested than before. He was back on his project with a new surge of energy, even though he couldn't prevent his head to be as active as his hands.

Some many things had changed. He had been worried sick about the Queen's condition and never wanted to go through that again. No matter what people said, he was taking the blame for her being sick and he doubted he could have coped with the worst outcome. He couldn't bear the idea of losing another person he cared for by his fault.

And now there was a jarring chasm in his head. It was only a few weeks ago that he deliberately hurt Arianna – maybe worse, he honestly couldn't say if he would have stopped himself and that scared him more than he wanted to admit. He could recall vividly how his grip on the automaton levers was determined and designed to crush her without a second thought.

"Varian? Varian, are you listening to me ?"

The teen gave a start at the sound of his name and realized how tightly clenched his jaw was. He turned around to meet crossed gray-blue eyes.

"Oh, uh, Elora, um… yes, yes of course, um…you were saying ?"

The young maid dug her fists on her hips.

"Where's your head, today, Varian ? In the clouds ? more than usual, that is," she humphed.

"I'm sorry, Elora", Varian apologized with a pang of guilt. "I… I guess I was too focused on my task. I didn't mean to –"

"I've only been here for twenty minutes and you're already ignoring me. I don't know how Phil and Alden handle it, being assigned to your full-time watch," she ranted. "At least when you were bedridden, you were listening to my stories." Heat rose to her cheeks as soon as the words left her lips. "N- Not that I'm not happy that you're back on your feet !"

Varian let out a small laugh. Candor was a quality he genuinely liked about Elora. She was spontaneous and not the kind to beat around the bush. Granted, sometimes it was not for the better, but he appreciated the fact that he could always count on her straightforwardness.

The little girl's concern vanished as soon as she knew that her friend wasn't in the least offended and they both filled the room with their bright laughter.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Phil and Alden were invited to sit on chairs next to the Queen's bed. Remyus decided to stand by her on the other side, watching closely for any sign of drowsiness.

She looked like a frail porcelain doll, a shawl shrouding her upper body. Her wan features made it hard to believe that she was well enough for this interview.

She looked at them with tired eyes and asked :

"How's your arm, Alden ? When you rode all night to Epoisses, your wound reopened."

"Oh, it's fine now, Your Majesty. It's healing nicely and I can use my arm normally now. Thank you for asking."

"By the way," Phil ventured, "we are glad you are feeling better, Your Majesty. Varian was out his head with worry, you know. We all were."

Arianna smiled weakly.

"Thank you, Phil. And I would like to apologize to you."

Phil's heart skipped a beat.

"I am very sorry that I sent you away the way I did after… after Hans took Varian back to the dungeon. You were trying to help and I let my emotions get the best of me. I've heard you were… quite affected by the whole ordeal."

The King, no doubt, Phil thought. He was surprised that he would bother her wife with that, but felt infinitely relieved to hear how much the royal couple cared about his well-being, him, a simple soldier.

"Please rest assured that I completely trust you and that I highly value your qualities," she went on, stretching out her hand to lay it on his arm. Phil closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, they were softer.

"Oh, Your Majesty, please, apologizing is not necessary. I lost my cool as well down there at some point, so…. Well, I guess it was intense for all of us, but mostly for Varian in the end."

"Yes… Indeed', she agreed. Suddenly her expression changed and became more serious. "From now on, no secrets between us. We need to stand together if we want to help him."

The two guards looked at each other briefly, a bit confused by her change of tone and the sigh she gave before speaking.

"There is something you should know about Varian."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elora plopped herself on the bed next to a relaxed, dozing raccoon, and ran her hand in his fur.

"I was saying earlier that Ruddiger is getting kind of chubby. I think he's come to appreciate my cooking so much that he eats loads now, and he doesn't go outside very much either. If only he could count on his owner to take him for more frequent walks, and maybe that would benefit said owner too", she countered, eyeing Varian exaggeratedly.

"Okay, okay, I go it. But I don't own Ruddiger, he's not my pet, he's more than that. He's my friend." Varian explained, reminiscing how the brave raccoon always stuck by him, even when he was arrested. "Look, I really need to finish this project. When Phil and Alden come back, I'll need their help to get a few compounds that I may not be allowed to lay my hands on at the moment, but it's for the good cause. Believe me, it will be a blast."

"Why are you trying so hard to impress the Queen ? She loves y-."

"I-I-I'm Not. Trying. To. Impress. Her", Varian denied, cutting her off with his voice rising more than needed. Elora's spontaneity. Not always a good thing. Hardly hiding the panic he was in, he rambled : "I'm just grateful for her care, you know, she's been so patient with me, and I really can see that now, so it's only natural that I show her how much it means to me, and I'm not trying to impress her, absolutely not, this is merely a thank you gift, and I'll give it to her, nothing more to it, and my only chance is to do it is to finish it while she's recovering."

Elora just stared at him, taken aback, not for the first time, by Varian's speech speed whenever he got stressed.

"Wow…." She murmured. "You really want to impress her."

Varian gave her a deadpan look but before he could say anything, both children heard a chattering coming from the other room next to Varian's, Remyus' main chambers.

They both turned their heads and couldn't believe their eyes as a graceful red squirrel stood there on its hindlegs, sniffing the air with interest. Before they could raise a finger, Ruddiger's instincts kicked in. Teeth bared, he jumped off the bed and bolted after the creature that dared invade his quarters, chasing it madly down the hallway.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

There was silence in the lavish bedroom. Phil was stunned, grateful that he was sitting on a chair, as he wasn't sure he would have kept his balance. Arianna and Remyus just reviewed everything they knew, as matter-of-factly as they could, about Varian's confession about his cutting urges, his compulsive scratching of his arm, his mental instability.

Alden spoke first, trying to wrap his mind around the concept.

"So to sum it up, Varian could harm himself on purpose if he gets overridden by his emotions ?"

"I'm afraid so," Arianna said with sadness behind her eyes, "and it can be unpredictable for us as some events or even thoughts in his head can be triggering for him before we understand what's going on. That's why he should never be left alone."

Remyus saw that the Queen was fading and decided it was time to end the conversation. "You should rest now, Your Majesty. I'm sure they will keep an close eye on the boy."

"You're right, Remyus," Arianna relented, giving in to her fatigue. "Alden, Phil, thank you for your time. "

Both of them bowed, the way they did when coming in.

"By the way," Arianna asked as they made their leave, "who is watching Varian at the moment ?"

"Oh not to worry, Your Majesty," Phil confidently assured her. "Elora is with him."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Ruddiger ! Come back here !"

The young maiden's voice was desperate as it resonated down the hallways. She wasn't sure if the raccoon would eat the squirrel if he caught it or if he just wanted to have his fun with it, but she would take no chances. The smaller animal was fast and smart, climbing over the walls and hiding behind the furniture to confuse its predator, but Ruddiger wasn't giving up. A few pedestals were knocked off in their chase, sending vases to break on the floor, and some paintings got a few claw marks and tears.

Varian just stood in the middle of his room and blinked several times, still not processing what happened. The fact that a squirrel found its way inside the castle was puzzling enough, but also, the person who was supposed to stay with him had just run off. For a prisoner, he had the odd feeling that they were letting him have too much freedom.

He sighed and scratched his head. What was he supposed to do ? Run after her ? But if someone spotted him wandering around the castle unattended, he could get in trouble. Worse, Elora would get in trouble.

He could run away. His father was still stuck in amber. He felt physically fit enough to do so, not that his strength was tops, but much better than it had been over the past few weeks.

But again, they would blame Elora for not doing her job. And also… something in him knew he couldn't just walk out the door, not like that, not after all this. Arianna… she would be heartbroken. And even though he was going to be taken to court soon, he knew that he had better answer for his crimes rather than add new ones to the list.

He stifled a curse as he turned on his heels, choosing to go on with his project and wait for Elora to come back. All he could do was hope that nobody would notice the incident.

As he was back to tinkering, he quickly got lost in his thoughts again. How much time had passed, he had no idea, but the next thing he knew is that he was harshly yanked by his collar, his hands letting go of the tools they were holding as his body collided with the wall, hard, all air knocked out of his lungs in the process.

He didn't have time to catch his breath, let alone call for help, as the tip of a blade was menacingly held to his throat. His eyes grew so wide they could have popped out of their sockets as he recognized the man. A chill ran down his spine and his whole body froze.

"Not a sound, brat, or you'll know how sharp my sword is," Hans snarled, relishing on how instantly the color had drained from the boy's face.