Hello friends ! I'm so sorry my updates have been erratic those past weeks, it's summer and I don't have the usual set up (bad connection, less time online and less privacy to write ! XD). Anyway, I should be able to get better in the next weeks. Good news, the next chapter is already partly written ! More good news for you angst lovers, the more I have time to think about the details of the story, the worse it usually gets, haha !

Enjoy some fluff, and I can't wait to deliver the next chapter that will be... Mmmm you'll see !

R&R !

CHAPTER 92

Varian cried for a long time. He cried until he ran out of tears. Arianna held him close, patiently waiting for him to calm down, stroking his hair, sometimes moving to his back. No matter how much she would rack her brain for something to say to soothe the broken boy, the words felt empty before they were even spoken, so she kept quiet as he let his emotions out. To her dismay, it was clear that the shock he just endured couldn't be simply brushed off with a hug… and one thing was sure, they had failed to protect him… again, and it happened in her own castle. Her stomach churned at the thought.

When the cries eventually faded to whimpers and the sobs turned to snivels, she braced herself and spoke softly :

"I'm sorry, Varian… This wasn't supposed to happen."

She couldn't hide the hurt, the guilt in her voice, and didn't actually try to. It just wasn't fair. She knew how hard it was for Varian to trust others after all he had been through. With his father out of the picture, he had been left to take care of himself for months, shunned by all and even hounded by the royal guards. So she had seen past her own trauma from her kidnapping to focus on him, solely him, to do the right thing for him at last and bring him back to the light. Little by little the walls around Varian's cold heart had started to crumble and step by step, he had opened up and accepted the help, the love, even though the balance was still fragile. And yet, there they were. Another malevolent adult showed up and damaged, maybe destroyed that long, hard road to recovery in one, swift blow.

"Please talk to me, sweetheart", she pleaded, the urge to know how the teen was coping stronger than her fear to hear the answer.

Varian found himself unable to talk though. His fists slightly released their grip as he exhaled a shuddering, tension-relieving breath and shook his head. He felt unspeakably tired, his feelings having gone numb now after all his crying. All he could feel was the pounding in his head that felt like his heart had moved there and was banging angrily against his skull. He pulled away from the hug in a surprisingly gentle motion that told Arianna that he wasn't upset about her and quickly rubbed his eyes with the back of his glove, as if it would make the puffiness around his reddened eyes disappear instantly.

"I'm fine," he sniffled, barely convincing himself, avoiding her gaze. His voice cracked a little and it sounded almost alien, even to him. Arianna opened her mouth to retort but was interrupted by the door creaking open. Her lady-in-waiting Friedborg entered the sick room, a tray in her hands. This unsettled Varian, as he saw her come in with the Queen, but was never aware that she left, nor that she was missing.

What unsettled him more was what came next. She went to the table, without a word as per usual, and started to work with the ingredients she brought. Under a piece of cloth sat a soft piece of butter that she put in a bowl. She added some salt before opening a pot and poured what looked like honey, if the golden color was any indication. She began to mix them together and Varian felt his insides curdle as if she was stirring his guts instead.

"Um… thank you, but I'm not hungry…I think I'll pass", he croaked.

For answer, the handmaiden turned around, her trademark huge smile that showed every tooth plastered on her face, the bowl in one hand and pointing her own neck with the other.

Varian heard Arianna chuckle softly next to him and she laid a hand on his shoulder.

"This isn't for you to eat, Varian. She made you a salve to help with your bruises." As she talked, her eyes subconsciously moved to where his shirt showed the skin. There were clear fingerprints around his slender neck and a nasty bruise was already forming at the base.

Arianna felt the boy's muscles tense under her palm.

"You can trust her skills," she added calmly. "Friedborg is the best when it comes to massages."

Varian looked up then eyed the weird lady -he couldn't help but find her a little creepy-, and back to the Queen, feeling very unsure about being touched. Especially around his neck.

"Sweetheart, you can hold my hand all the way through If you want. I'm not going anywhere. Believe me, she's very gentle. And it will reduce the pain and the swelling."

The boy seemed to debate silently with himself for a while – his brain was still functioning slower than usual. After a few seconds, he spoke up.

"Okay… okay, Arianna, I trust you," he relented.

She smiled, her eyes soft on him.

"May I ?", she said, gesturing to his shirt and getting to her feet, trying not to show how weak she still was from pneumonia.

Varian nodded and lifted his arms, letting her grab the hem of his shirt and pull it over his head. She did this as carefully as possible but came to almost wish she hadn't once the boy's skinny torso was in full view.

What she saw earlier was only the tip of the iceberg. The base of Varian's neck was swollen and littered with shades of deep red and blue. There was another spot that was unnaturally black near his right shoulder, under his clavicle, mirroring more marks on the back where his shoulder blade stuck out. They clearly proved that the assault had been more violent that she imagined.

Varian must have seen the unease in Arianna's eyes, for he looked away and slid his own eyes closed.

"Oh honey… what happened ?"

The boy sucked in a deep breath, his frame shaking a little.

"He… he slammed me against the wall and pinned me there with his arm and elbow. He cut my cheek with his sword and then choked me until I passed out", the scientific boy explained matter-of-factly, like he was making a report on something that happened to a whole different person.

Arianna swallowed a lump in her throat.

"Did… did he say something ?"

Varian lapsed into silence this time. To speak Hans's sharp threats out loud was definitely too much. Deciding not to push him too far, Arianna quickly folded the shirt and left it on the bed.

"Let's have you sit on that stool, shall we ?", she picked up as she took his hand and squeezing it lightly to remind him she wouldn't let it go. "I'll be sitting next to you the whole time."

Varian followed Arianna's lead without putting up any resistance but flinched sharply when Friedborg's greasy fingers touched his skin. He did his best to keep control on himself and contain the whirlpool of emotions storming in his head all at once : fear, panic, the urge to flee, scream or beg for it to stop. His breathing intensified and he clenched his teeth, forcing himself to focus on the warmth of Arianna's hands holding his own. She had suggested for him to take his gloves off, and although he didn't like the idea at first, he was now grateful for the grounding feeling of her thumbs rubbing gentle circles on the back of his hands. She was even stroking his old burning mark on the left one, but none of them said anything about it.

Truth be told, Friedborg's hands did wonders, despite his apprehension. She applied the ointment very gently indeed, her fingers dancing lightly on his skin, putting no more pressure than necessary on his sore bruises. Varian realized how much his muscles were tender under the surface, like after a very busy day in the fields, except that was mostly due to the tension in his body, he guessed.

Friedborg saved the neck for last, as if she knew it would be more difficult for Varian to let her touch him there. Indeed, the teen gulped and closed his eyes, small tears pricking under his thick eyelashes, but he managed to hold still. Arianna talked to him continuously, praising him for doing so well and letting them help. Varian listened to her voice, feeling both grateful and sorry for the Queen, as he was pretty sure he was squeezing her hands too hard by then. But he couldn't bring himself to release his grip on her, like he would have clung to a lifeline.

The lady-in-waiting finally let go of the sensitive area but wasn't satisfied until she gave Varian's top half a final massage to get him to relax. With the expert touch from her and the gentle coaxing from the Queen, the knots in his muscles started to untangle one by one, the tension left his frame little by little and his shoulders slumped down.

After a while, Friedborg stepped back, looking pleased with herself – then again, it was the same smile, so it was hard to know – and quietly took the tray to dispose of it. Varian breathed out, welcoming the peaceful sensation that spread throughout his body and opened his eyes again. He blinked a few times, as if he was just waking up from a long, restful night.

"Thank you, um, Friedborg", he uttered shyly but genuinely. The handmaiden turned around, and Varian couldn't help but return her smile this time, even though it didn't exactly reach his eyes the way Friedborg's did.

"Now Varian," Arianna said as she stood up, "how about going outside for a bit so we try to find Ruddiger ?"

The teen's mind reeled as the course of the events suddenly came back to him. Hans. The squirrel. How the devilish man had isolated him so he could settle his scores. Varian hated to admit it, but that was a mastermind's plan. But for now, he just wanted to push those thoughts at the back of his mind, even lock them up somewhere and throw away the key. Right now, he could really use a cuddle from his furry friend and that was all that mattered.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Phil stepped out of the soldiers' quarters dragging his feet. He had gotten clean, dry clothes, and only his damp hair still reminded him from his mishap. That one would be easily fixed, though, unlike the pressure that wouldn't leave his chest.

He was supposed to join Alden at the door of the sick room as soon as he would be ready, but he had mixed feelings about seeing Varian again. Of course, he desperately wanted to check on the teen after the awful ordeal, but part of him was internally screaming to turn around and run in the opposite direction. He just didn't know how he could face Varian, with that guilt clawing at his insides for rushing headlong after Hans by himself and inadvertently allowing the felon to escape easily.

All he could do was wait and hope that the Captain and his squad were going to bring him back, bound hand and foot. And the waiting was killing the impulsive, impatient young man.