I hope you have a few tissues at hand... I've been working a lot on this, as I really wanted to get that scene right. Let me know your thoughts !

Also, ok, I may not be able to finish that story... on the 100th chapter (but I WILL finish it) I just can't overlook some angst where I can expand on it ! XD XD

Phil tried to suppress the lump in his throat as he walked over to the door to the back room. He hated what he was going to do, but he had no choice. He kept telling himself it would be way worse if the Captain was the one to secure the cuffs around the boy's wrists.

He stopped in his tracks as he reached the door. It was slightly ajar and Varian's low voice could be heard. Phil couldn't see the kid from where he was so he laid a hand against the wall and listened. His blood froze in his veins when he realized what was going on in there.

"You've got to understand, Ruddiger. Sure, you were kind and loyal enough to give up your freedom and stay by my side when they arrested me, and honestly, I… I don't know what I'd have done without you. But this time… this time is a whole different matter. I've had time to think about what I've done, you know, and…". There was no use beating around the bush. "Well, I've got to pay for my crimes."

Phil heard the critter's angry chitter as Ruddiger expressed his disapproval.

"Why won't you listen ? You shouldn't waste your life on my account, end of story ! I, and only I, am responsible for the mess I've done. If the King decides to put me back to jail, it might be for life, or until I'm exiled !"

There was another scolding from the chubby animal, and Phil could have sworn it was like hearing an old couple having an argument.

"Oh so what ? If he wants me to be hanged when I'm older, will you wrap a noose around your neck too ? Don't be silly, Ruddiger !"

Varian immediately regretted raising his voice. Raccoons hated being yelled at, and he knew that. Ruddiger was no exception.

"Look, I'm sorry… I… I didn't mean to…"

Phil saw in the narrow opening the raccoon padding over to his friend. His guess was that Ruddiger went over to Varian, maybe to nuzzle his legs or climb onto his lap. There was a choked sob and Varian's voice was small and broken as he went on.

"Look, you deserve better than a cell…and you deserve better than me, and whatever fate that will be mine. It's okay, I'm prepared myself for this. You know, somehow… somehow I'd rather endure the King's punishment than face the disappointment and shame in Dad's eyes… if he can ever be free, that is…"

Phil closed his eyes, cold dread in the pit of his stomach, as the raccoon cooed in worry.

"You should go back to Old Corona, Ruddiger", Varian pointed out, trying to sound more positive. "At least you can go home. And maybe you can find yourself a new family… one that's not broken"

Those last words did it. Phil quickly hid the shackles behind his back and pushed the door open.

"You have a family, Varian, right here. We're right here. You've got the Queen, Elora, Ethel, Remyus and Alden. And you've got me."

Varian's body gave a start from the floor where he was kneeling, Ruddiger in his arms. He obviously hadn't expected someone to come in but kept his back turned to the door. Phil saw him hastily wipe his face with his sleeve, probably trying to hide his tears. Varian took a shuddering breath, composing himself as much as he could before he spoke.

"Phil, do you… do you think you could take Ruddiger to Old Corona for me ? When the trial is done, I mean", he asked, letting no indication whether he heard the young guard's words or not.

Don't listen, don't start thinking about it, he told himself. Sure, it would be nice to have such a family, but how could he ever even dream of it ? He certainly didn't deserve that.

"Varian, you don't know yet what the King…"

"Don't say it. Please. I can't… I can't afford keeping my hopes up right now."

Varian's voice was unexpectedly steady now, mature even. Phil hung his head and reluctantly replied:

"You can count on me."

Phil watched as Varian ran his fingers through Ruddiger's fur one last time, eventually giving in to the gut need to bury his face into the soft hair, breathing in as he tried to engrave the unique scent in his memory. Then, as gently as he could, he finally nudged the critter to get down, stood up and spun on his heels to face Phil, planting his steel blue eyes in his.

Varian inhaled deeply. "Let's get it over with, then". And with that, he held out his hands and offered his gloved hands, waiting for the cuffs to be clamped around them.

Phil stood there gawking at the slightly trembling wrists.

"What ? How did you…", he stammered.

"How did I know ?", Varian scoffed, rolling his eyes in mock exasperation. "I'm not an idiot. Nor am I deaf. They clinked behind your back when you came in."

"Varian… I'm sorry…", Phil murmured as he knelt down to be at eye level with him.

"Hey, it's fine, Phil.", Varian whispered back as he shrugged. "You do what you have to do."

Phil held Varian's gaze for a long moment. It was like the boy was suddenly ten years older. Older than him. Without a word, the young guard lifted the heavy, unforgiving restraints and locked them, one by one. The grim clicks resonated in the quiet room and Ruddiger cooed sadly again.

Varian's body tensed, his breathing picking up in the process. He began to shake. The chains felt cold and heavy, weighing him down without mercy, and he found himself fighting back another panic wave. His brain's logic was working against him, filling his head with vivid images of his past experience in the dungeon. It was like he was arrested for the first time again, was rejected by everyone all over again, was shunned and alone again.

He swallowed hard.

Phil studied Varian's face as complex emotions spiked inside the fragile frame, shocked at how Varian paled, his big eyes swimming out of focus. Fear was taking control of Varian rather than the other way around. The kid was a shadow of himself and looked like he was about to collapse at any moment. The worst part was that he wasn't making a single sound. In a way, that was more terrifying than any form of tantrum he would have thrown out when he first arrived.

The young guard gently laid a hand on his friend's shoulder, snapping Varian out of his haze.

"Hey… Varian, breathe. Listen to me. I'm here. You'll be all right."

Varian blinked, regaining his senses and saw the young man as if for the first time. He followed his lead, breathing in and out a few times. The trick seemed to work, but as anxiety threatened to overwhelm him again, Varian tried to shove it away, doing a 180 in his attitude.

"Yeah…it will all be fine, for sure.", he scoffed sarcastically. "After all, it's not like my entire future depended on one all-powerful man, who his own idea of justice…". A forced chuckle escaped his lips and he tried to hug himself. Not that it was easy with the shackles. Frustration swelled quickly for not being able to get this slight comfort and his blue eyes soon glistened with brimming tears.

Phil's heart sank. "Hey, come here…" he said softly, pulling the kid into a hug.

Varian fell forward into Phil's embrace. With all resistance gone, the dam broke. While Phil's arms seemed they would never let go, Varian wanted to hug back so badly, wrap his arms around his friend and hold tight, not caring if he would hurt his ribs. But of course, he couldn't do that, thanks to that cursed short chain. So Phil's shirt was pulled and wrung and squeezed in tight fists, while endless streams of tears lost themselves in the loosely woven cloth. For quite a long time, Varian cried his fears, and cried his regrets over what he had lost and what he had left to lose.