Hey, check it out- I have an actual winning ASN drabble contest entry this time! I had a lot of fun doing the actual writing, but the text formatting was a pain to do with message board tags. Fortunately, my HTML knowledge was enough to make fixing things up for this site only a mild additional annoyance. The criteria for the piece was:

Tales told on Slumber Party

In Episode 308 we have one story by Katara and a piece of a tail of another story by Sokka. It's NOT enough. I need MORE tales. These tales needn't to be the tales told by GAANGsters that night. They just must be tales of a sort that people tell on slumber parties in Avatar world.

Criteria:

Amusement- Tale must be amusing.

Authorship- Show the storyteller.

Difference- Ways of a tale are different from the ways of the real world. You can be afraid of a wolf who can eat you, but you can't be afraid of a wolf who can deceive you into unnecessary distribution of your relative's address and personal information. Consider the difference.


Round Robinsquirrel

"And so the Lord put the rebels to death, slaughtering them with the Agni Sword. Their blood purified the land, cleansing it of the curse and restoring sanity to the industrious peasants. With order restored, the Lord returned to his throne, and administered the land with strength of will, passing on his wisdom to his loyal children, and the land knew peace forever more."

"..."

"..."

"Well?"

"That's a nice story, Azula."

"Eh."

"Nice? Yes, I suppose you could call it that."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Girls, we have a problem. Our stories, as the lesser educated might put it, stink."

"Yes."

"Um, yeah, kinda."

"Ty Lee's stories are all formulaic romances with thinly veiled parallels to real events and people..."

"..."

"It's not that they're bad, you just need more variety."

"I... guess."

"And Mai, your stories all feature a sardonic girl who gets swept up in a journey, but she spends the whole time snarking about the silly things she encounters, and then dies when you get bored with the plot."

"Whatever."

"Mine are, of course, grand examples of formal Court-appropriate storytelling, proving that I mastered all the relevant lessons from the tutors. Sadly, it seems that the style doesn't translate well to more relaxed settings."

"Is this going somewhere?"

"I think I know what she's saying. You want us to team up!"

"...actually, I was going to say that I need to research new storytelling methods, but you may be on to something, Ty."

"Yay!"

"Oh, this won't end well."

"Who's going to start who's going to start who's going to start?"

"Well, since you're so enthusiastic-"

"YAY!!"

"Just... start the story."

"Okay! Um................................................. Once upon a time-"

"Come up with that yourself?"

"Once! Upon! A! Time! ...there was a beautiful girl with pink hair named Zi Shuga. She was happy and always smiled and loved everyone and everything around here. She was also really smart and athletic, and a Firebender who was also really good with weapons and hand-to-hand fighting. Everyone who knew Zi Shuga loved her, and felt better whenever she was around, because she was so smart she was able to solve all their problems for them. All the boys were in love with her, but she was looking for that special someone, but didn't hold that against the boys and matched them up with girls that would be right for them. But one day she met the great Prince Mattaki, who was just perfect for Zi Shuga because he was just as perfect as she was-"

"My turn. Mattaki's supposed perfection came from his tainted blood. He was the son of the Spirit of Death and a great foreign Warlord. While his heritage made him like a god among men, he was constantly afflicted by pain and torment because the two sides of his blood warred with each other at the most basic level. Mattaki heard of perfect little Zi Shuga, who was just as much of a living deity as he was but didn't have to deal with the same misfortune his own uncaring parents had passed on to him, and knew jealousy. He pretended to romance her at their meeting, and invited the little melon-head to visit him as his castle. Mattaki's fortress home was a great distance away, and could only be reached by traveling across haunted lands. The sights and trials there would break Zi Shuga's spirit, and then when she arrived, he would kill her and drink her-"

"Let's not be tasteless, hm? Anyway, Zi Shuga prepared to set out on her journey to Mattaki's castle. She consulted her father's wise advisors, three old woman rumored to have magic powers. The first looked into Zi Shuga's heart, and gave her a walking stick blessed with good luck. The second looked into Zi Shuga's mind, and gave her a cape made from the wings of a dragon. The third looked into Zi Shuga's eyes, and gave her a-"

"Komodo rhino!"

"... a komodo rhino, descended from the great Lord of Rhinos who served her father. Zi Shuga left on her journey, letting the light of the sun guide her. She-"

"Walked until night, when she set up camp. As she tried to sleep, her tent was attacked by a group of bandits, because really, what do you think is going to happen to a girl traveling alone through the wilderness? They all had swords and-"

"Were really mean, but Zi Shuga was such a great fighter and Firebender that she didn't have any trouble with the bandits and beat them all! They were so impressed by her fighting, and they were all so in love with her beautiful looks, that they pledged to be her servants forever!"

"Zi Shuga looked solemnly on the bowing bandits, and did make them swear an oath of loyalty to her self and her bloodline, and lo, the walking stick she had been given did shine with the light of the sun, and was revealed as a royal scepter. Its light turned the bandits into proud warriors the likes of which she had been descended from, and she made them into her personal guard. She asked if any of the former bandits knew the way to Mattaki's castle, and-"

"One said, 'Hey, I know a guy who knows a guy who can get us a ride on a skyship.'"

"A skyship?"

"Really, Mai, that's getting a bit too ridiculous."

"Oh, but the perfect pink hair and the cape made of dragon wings are okay?"

"Whatever."

"That's my line. So, the group rode the skyship to Mattaki's homeland. The captain was a very smart young woman who didn't care about their quest, and made sure she was paid up front, and then flew away as soon as the all the stupid people were off her ship."

"Zi Shuga led her happy friends through Mattaki's lands, which were very beautify and sunny and filled with funny fluffy animals and pretty flowers and tall trees and lots of poofy clouds-"

"Because Mattaki was a tactical genius and knew the value of a good cover."

"And along the way they met a big fuzzy-"

"Wolfbat. It could smell Zi Shuga's gullibility, so it pretended to befriend her. When night came, it struck at the group, and sucked the blood of all the servants-"

"Except for the cutest one, named Huan!"

"...and then attacked Zi Shuga. The girl saw the evil beast swooping down at her, and she felt fear clutching at her heart. She knew there was nothing she could do to stop the monster from killing her, for its mastery of flight gave it superior speed, and her Firebending was useless against the great shadows that clothed it."

"When, suddenly, Zi Shuga felt herself lifted into the air. Her magic cape had come to life, flapping like dragon wings, giving her the power to fly. She swooped above the Wolfbat and grabbed its wings. It flapped furiously against her, but Zi Shuga was too powerful for him. She carried it high above the moon-"

"The stars twinkled prettily!"

"Thank you, Ty. Then Zi Shuga swooped down, letting gravity carry her! She felt the wind biting at her skin, but she was too great a Firebender to be frozen by a petty element like Air! The wolfbat was coated in frost, and at the last second before both woman and monster were about to hit the ground, Zi Shuga let go and swooped up again. The wolfbat crashed into the ground, shattering into a million bloody ice fragments!"

"Awesome."

"Um... so, the next day, Zi Shuga and Huan continued on their journey. The other animals saw what the bat wolfbat did, so they came together to protect Zi Shuga so that she didn't have any more bad nights. She reached Prince Mattaki's castle, and found that it was made of sparkly diamonds and with silver trim! It was the most beautiful castle ever anywhere!"

"And so the confrontation played out. Zi Shuga, the vision of female perfection on Earth, did do battle against the corrupt demi-spirit, the god-like Mattaki. Mattaki betrayed Zi Shuga's visions of love, and attacked her with the power of cold and shadow. They did battle at the top of tallest tower, and the conflict lasted many nights and days, the forces of male and female power locked in complementary struggle. But Zi Shuga was too wily for the petty machinations of Mattaki, and she tricked him into charging at her as she stood by the windswept edge of the tower. He passed by her as the sky opened up below him, teetered-"

"So she gave him a firm kick in the rear and the moron fell off the tower."

"And then Zi Shuga's rhino, named Happy, ate him! She married Huan, and lived happily ever after. The! End!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...well, that was fun. Who's for snacks? Servant, bring us cheesy puffs!"

"This is the best slumber party, ever!"

"Meh."

END