And now for the sequel no one wanted but that you're getting anyway...
What's Your A-Gender?
Zuko was feeling a bit outnumbered.
He had sailed around the world, he had walked the length of the Earth Kingdom as a fugitive from two nations, he had betrayed his true honor for the approval of a monster, and he had turned his back on everything he thought he wanted to restore that honor. Zuko was not someone who was unaccustomed to adversity, but his current situation might just be too much for him.
He was stuck in an Air Temple with a group of completely crazy girls!
To be fair, all girls were a little crazy, and most of the females here in the Western Air Temple were no worse than average. Teo was a bit eccentric, Haru was way too concerned with the shine of her hair, and The Duchess was the second little sister Zuko had never risked insanity to even contemplate wanting, but they were polite enough to him. Actually, the rudest of the group was a boy- Katara. While Zuko acknowledged that the Waterbender had good reason to dislike him, he was really starting to resent the frequent insults and hostile shoulder bumps.
The other boy in the group was both better and worse in a lot of ways. Toph didn't have any history with Zuko, and was quite accepting of the Prince as the Avatar's Firbending teacher, but the younger boy was just... odd. He was a bulky, powerful Earthbender, but he acted even prissier than Haru! Once, Toph had even asked Zuko to braid his hair.
That made Zuko uncomfortable in ways he didn't want to ponder.
No, what tipped the annoyance level of the local female population over the top was the source of most of the feminine craziness- Aang and Sokka. One was the Master of all the Elements. The other was a bossy older sister. Together, they were a disaster.
Take the recent trip to the home of the Sun Warriors...
Aang was sitting on her Sky Bison's head, steering Appa towards the ancient ruins Zuko had described. The Fire Prince himself was sitting in the boat-like saddle, looking over the left side at the passing ocean. Sokka was seated at the front of the saddle, facing Zuko with her arms crossed, her eyes never leaving him.
Eventually, he couldn't take it anymore. "What?"
Sokka shrugged. "What?"
Aang turned around. "What?"
Zuko shut his eyes for a moment and growled. "You're been staring at me this whole trip! If you have something to say, say it."
"It's nothing!" Sokka protested. "I was just thinking! Staring, you know, at nothing."
Zuko continued scowling. "Your eyes were focused. I checked that."
Aang began grinning. "Sokka has a cruuuuuuuuuuuuuush!"
"I DO NOT!" Sokka screeched.
Zuko smacked his forehead. "Look, forget about it. I don't really care."
"No! You've got it all wrong! I don't like you!"
Aang frowned. "Aw, that's mean. Don't you think he's good-looking?"
"I didn't say that!" Sokka blurted out. She paused, then added, "I didn't not say that either."
Zuko groaned. "Please stop talking."
"I think he's good-looking," Aang drawled. "And I'm an expert. When he teaches me Firebending, he doesn't wear a shirt!"
Zuko turned his face so that the two girls could only see his scarred side. Blushes were harder to see against the old injury. Granted, Aang's teasing was a very silly thing to let get to him, but something about the younger girl's voice sneaked things passed Zuko's defenses. "And now I'm going to be fully dressed every time we practice. No wonder you're a slow learner."
Aang laughed at that, and Zuko had to work really hard to suppress a smile.
Sokka groaned. "You two are making me uncomfortable with all this flirting."
This time, Zuko could feel the blush burning even deeper than his scar. He normally didn't feel this warm unless he was doing more intense Firebending. "Knock it off! I'm not flirting with her! I don't know why you're here, but if you can't stop acting like an immature little gossip, at least do me the favor of leaving me out of it!" Zuko was barely able to bite back an exasperated cry of, "Women!" He had a long history of being a relatively weak guy in the company of deadly female warriors, and had a fine self-preservation instinct.
He turned look Sokka in the face. To Zuko's surprise, she wasn't angry. Her eyes were hard and intense, but her frown had a fragile edge to it. When she spoke, her voice was soft and bitter. "I'm not a gossip." She sat back down, crossed her arms again, and very pointendly kept her gaze fixed on her feet.
The atmosphere after that was quite awkward, even though the steady breeze of travel was keeping the air crisp and clean. Naturally, it was Aang who broke the silence first; she seemed to think that having cute little pigtails gave her a license for impertinence, and Zuko couldn't bring himself to disagree. It had been like that since the South Pole. "So, is there some kind of rule against guy Benders wearing shirts?"
Zuko didn't take the bait. Sokka was still refusing to react.
Aang stayed chipper. "I mean, Katara is always just wearing his under-wrappings when we practice Waterbending. And all the fighters in the Earth Rumble didn't have shirts- and believe me, some of them would have been a lot better off with more clothes on. And Sifu Hotpants," she stopped to giggle here, "doesn't like wearing a shirt when he's Firebending. It's weird. Sometimes a little uncomfortable for me, but still very enjoyable." She turned to grin at Zuko again.
Zuko averted his eyes.
Sokka groaned and ran her hands through her hair. "See? This is what I'm trying to protect you from."
Zuko just stared. "What?"
Sokka leaned over and took that tone, the one she always adopted when ordering Katara around. "You're pretty clueless for a guy, but I guess that's because you didn't get out much. Zuko, sweety, I know girls are awesome and pretty and giggle all hot-like, but you can't trust them. I mean, take Aang."
"No means no!"
"Shut up, Aang. Yeah, she's flirty, but you have to realize that it's all just a manipulation."
Zuko couldn't help but nod. Sokka was actually talking something that sounded like sense. "Like at the South Pole!"
"Exactly!" Sokka's grin was as triumphant as Chin the Conqueror about fifteen minutes before he died. "And while we can trust Aang- right now- to just try to cuddle up to you to get you to go easy on her during Firebending training, eventually she'll lose sense and try for more. You can't trust teenage girls."
Zuko privately agreed, but couldn't help but point out the obvious. "You're a teenage girl."
"Exactly! You can't trust me! If I ever get you alone and start talking about your sweaty, finely sculpted chest, I'm up to something not good for you."
"Right..."
"So, Aang's here to protect you from me. And I'm here to protect you from Aang."
Zuko did the math. "Why couldn't Katara take your place?"
Sokka moved over to Zuko and patted his shoulder. "Zuko, try to keep up. Two boys can't go off alone with a girl. People would talk."
"About what?"
Sokka gave Zuko a look.
Zuko got it. "Oh. Wow, this is actually kind of complicated. But... it kind of sounds true."
Sokka nodded. "That's because a hot girl is saying it while invading your personal space. But that's okay, I'll make sure you learn."
Zuko jolted and scrambled away.
Sokka and Aang laughed, and then had the gall to high-five each other.
Girls were crazy. (But cute.)
END
Okay, I'm done with this now.
