Chapter Five: A View From the Gallery
Forks - January 22nd
The house seemed mostly empty when they arrived, the back door open and tracks clearly visible in the snow. Then a lone figure moved from the house towards the garage, and a few seconds later, the sound of grinding metal filled the night air with its awful discordant tone, like a saw being run over violin strings. It took a moment of searching to find another occupant standing on a balcony on the second floor.
"Alice." Isabella said almost unconsciously. A longing sadness touched her eyes, which then quickly shifted to anger.
For Eliza, a curiosity. Alice was the one member of the Cullen household that Isabella never discussed. She was the one that seemed mercurial, spectral, and honestly unreal. Seeing her standing on the balcony suddenly put that into relief. There she stood, exactly as she appeared in her mother's memories. A small slip of a woman, who seemed barely old enough to pass for an adult with the right makeup. Her black hair was flat instead of spiked and hung just to her shoulders. However, it wasn't her appearance that she was focused on, it was her eyes. She knew that look; she'd seen it every day in her mother's resting expression. Something wasn't right, but there were more pressing issues than that mystery.
Isabella was fuming, struggling to hold in her impulses. With anger clouding her reason, Eliza was suddenly afraid that she would do something rash. She reached out for her mother's wrist and managed to grab a hold of her before she leapt towards the building. The sudden pressure gave Isabella just the right distraction to cut through her anger.
"I don't think I can do this." Isabella said to Eliza shaking her head.
"Let's wait for the rest to return, you won't know until you've seen them all." Eliza made sense to Isabella who nodded, but never took her eyes off Alice.
They waited for over an hour, until they heard sounds coming from the tree line along the back of the house. A few seconds later several people emerged from the shadow drenched forest, continuing on and into the house. Edward and Emmett were first, followed by Jasper. Emmett just edged out Edward in some kind of foot race, Jasper coming in a distant third, and then three others followed, a tall woman whom Isabella had never seen and Carlisle and Esme. Once they were all in the house the noise from the garage stopped, and a few seconds later Rosalie came into the house and gave her husband a hug and a small kiss.
Jasper moved over to the strange woman, who had taken a seat on the couch and a casual touch and the way he stroked her hair took Isabella aback. "Who is she?"
"Does it matter who she is?" Eliza asked rhetorically.
Isabella thought about it for a few fractions of a second before responding. "No."
"It is curious." Eliza said pondering the unspoken thought Isabella left hanging.
"They seemed happy the last I saw them." Isabella had mixed feelings, and oddly, the dominant emotion radiating from her was joy, almost pure happiness. Yet Isabella immediately rationalized the feeling from a place of darkness, an almost sadistic thought that she was glad Alice was alone and clearly miserable.
It didn't help that Jasper had been the catalyst for the Cullens' leaving. It was her blood, drawn from a simple paper cut, which compelled Jasper to attack her at her birthday party. Isabella knew it was more than that; the attack was just an excuse. They'd been looking to leave anyway; it merely justified their decision to abandon her. Their amusement with their little human saited, seen as little more than a banal distraction. It left her feeling like so much trash, discarded with little thought or care to the emotional devastation it would cause her.
She had no idea who the new Cullen was, and she didn't care.
Yet when Isabella turned back to look at them, she felt a stab of pain. Something inside of her still harbored a deep hurt, no matter how she currently felt; at one point in her life she loved them, because in a very real way they had become her family. The reminder of the pain set off the beast inside of her. A growl escaped her curling lips as she watched them, her eyes darkening. Eliza tightened her grip on her mother's wrist, but even she had trouble suppressing her anger.
They seemed happy; Carlisle and Esme were standing together, arms interlocked staring at their family. Emmett teasing Jasper about his third-place finish. Rosalie was smiling softly as she leaned against her husband on the couch. Finally, Edward, sitting alone at his piano, his fingers dancing across the keys without touching them as he composed something complicated, and probably beautiful.
Isabella scowled further as she looked at each of them, her fuzzy human memories forcing their way to the front of her mind.
Esme held out a perfectly manicured hand to help her out of the low sports car. Isabella's already notoriously clumsy and awkward movements were defeated by the simple act of getting out of the vehicle. Esme smiled, and it wasn't a smile making fun of Isabella's lack of grace. It was kind, reassuring… loving. Isabella looked up into her would-be adoptive mother's eyes with the anticipation of an eternity with her.
Together they walked towards the mall, without needing to speak. Esme knew exactly how to keep company with her, pointless small talk avoided because there was no need to fill the empty silence. They were simply happy to be in each other's company. Esme then gently pushed her through the various stores, encouraging her to try on outfits that suited her. It wasn't like shopping with Alice, instead it was all about Isabella.
After the relatively long trip through several mall stores, they sat together as Isabella ate a mall lunch. Esme asking probing questions with keen interest, wanting to know more about Isabella. Yet somehow, Isabella never felt self-conscious around her despite being the center of attention. When Esme dropped her off at home, she felt a wave of longing. Esme was a mother, unlike Renee who had always been more of a grown child.
Then came another unwanted memory, the one time she had a moment of connection to Rosalie, just after they had killed James. Isabella was recovering in the hospital, and Edward was away talking to Carlisle about her recovery. Rosalie snuck into her room, and opened the lone window overlooking Phoenix. The view was beautiful, and a sharp contrast to the Pacific northwest.
"I've always hated Washington, the green, the gloom. I miss the sun, warmth." Rosalie turned to Isabella with a small smile on her face.
"Me too. Although I've said my goodbyes to the sun already." Isabella said looking down at her hands, not wanting to look at Rosalie directly.
"I know, and despite your attempts at sacrifice you made it through alive." Rosalie said through a sigh. The small smile leaving her face as she spoke
"I should be like you. Edward could've let me turn." Isabella said with a small whine.
"No, he couldn't. It's not in his nature, I think. He is too much like Carlisle. There was a chance, a bad one, but still a chance for you to remain human. So, he took it." Rosalie said simply, with no emotion in her voice.
"Would you have done it?" Isabella asked softly.
"It doesn't matter what I would have done. Would I do what he did if I were in his place? Would I want what you want if I were in yours?" Rosalie turned her head. "You could ask the 'would you have' questions forever. The only answer I have is this; no one should take your choices away from you. Heal up Isabella, you have people worried about you."
The memory shifted, her thoughts straying to an earlier time, back to the day she first saw them. Jessica was explaining the Cullens to her, as if they were this big mystery. Her eyes drifted over Rosalie and Emmett as they walked into the cafeteria hand and hand. Then on to Jasper and Alice as they followed before her attention was drawn to Edward.
It took weeks to learn the truth, of why he looked at her with such anger. She felt the threat from him immediately, but she would never have guessed how much damage he would end up inflicting on her. Not just to her heart, but her soul as well. In his inept effort to save her humanity, he cursed her to a brutal life of violence and hatred. The pleasant memories soured quickly, turning towards the final conversation in the woods.
"I've gotta think of something to say to Charlie…" She started, looking at Edward for an idea but his expression made his point clear. "When you say, 'we'?"
"I mean my family and myself." Edward said succinctly, with and almost no emotion.
"Edward, what happened with Jasper, it's nothing." Bella said, starting to bargain with Edward to rethink his choice.
"You're right. It was nothing. Nothing but what I always expected, and nothing compared to what could have happened." Edward said without looking at her, regret the only thing she could glean from his expression and tone of voice. Then his expression shifted, to something she had never seen before. "You just don't belong in my world Bella."
"I belong with you." Her words echoing through time, sending waves of hatred through Isabella at the pain of that moment. Her naivety, her love, her humanity all wrapped up in an obsession with an immortal, without thought or care for her own life.
"No. You don't." His reply captured his intent perfectly, a rebuttal of everything he had professed to her. A truth spoken, a declaration of lies.
"I'm coming." Of course, her anger outweighed her reason, his casual dismissal of her love overlooked in her desperation.
"Bella, I don't want you to come." His own anger at her refusal to admit his rejection coming through his tone.
It finally hit her, what he was saying. She gasped in shock and pain; this was real. "You don't want me?"
"No." Edward said with an almost bored exasperation.
"That changes things, a lot." Bella said, feeling the weight of his choice. Yet a part of her was still convinced that it couldn't be the end. What about Alice, Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, even Rosalie… were they all rejecting her too?
"But if it's not too much to ask, can you just promise me something?" Edward said almost as an afterthought, nearly turning away before asking the question. "Don't do anything reckless." He paused, making her think for an instant that he still cared before he added, "for Charlie's sake." Then he continued, his tone almost cold. "And I'll promise something to you in return. This is the last time you'll ever see me. I won't come back, and you can go on with your life without any interference from me. It'll be like I never existed; I promise."
"If this is about my soul, take it. I don't want it." She already felt torn in two, and she knew this was it, the last moment to turn things around.
"It's not about your soul, you're just not good for me." Edward practically sneered as he spoke, driving home the point that he had no interest in her as a mate any longer.
"Not good enough for you." She said rhetorically, already knowing the answer. Not good enough for him, or his family.
"I'm just sorry I let this go on for so long." Edward's expression shifted somewhat, with a dismissive pity framing his features.
"Please… don't take them away too." Bella pleaded one last time. Edward almost shrugged and shook his head almost imperceptibly.
"Goodbye." Edward said with finality, moving to kiss her on the forehead. A dismissive gesture. Then he was gone, vanished from her side as if he never existed.
His absence felt like a shock, a bolt of pain knocked the wind out of her, and her stomach turned as if she might be sick. She stumbled in a random direction; unaware she was traveling deeper into the woods. Her world collapsed in an instant, a giant hole forming in her core. More than Edward, the entire family had left her without bothering to say goodbye.
Even Alice.
The girl she had once been so close with. Isabella had considered Alice almost like the sister she never had, rather than best friends. Images began to flow through Isabella's vampire mind; dozens of long conversations, the random impulsive hugs, and even the marathon shopping trips Alice was so fond of. Mostly it was the laughter, the joy Alice seemed to derive from simply being in Isabella's presence. In truth, the pain of Alice leaving was worse than all the rest combined, even Edward to a degree since he at least told her the reasons why he left.
Anger pulled her from her past, Carlisle, Emmett, Esme, and above all Edward and Alice had made her feel loved, told her she was part of the family. Their betrayal had festered at the tatters of the old hole inside of her soul. Isabella's beast caged in its depths, a monster forged from that original sin, suddenly demanded for her to destroy them. It was almost impossible to resist, especially when it would finally put to rest her oldest pain.
She didn't have to kill, she could hurt. Hurt them like they hurt her. A vicious grin curled her lips into a heinous visage of malice. Eliza, suddenly terrified of what her mother was about to do, did the only thing she could think of; she grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her around, forcing Isabella to look at her.
"No. You cannot hurt them. They didn't break a law, we are enforcers not assassins or executioners, no matter what the covens want to call us." Eliza's tone was firm, and she backed up her words with her sense of justice, and pride in the work they had done for decades together.
Isabella faltered, almost stumbling back a couple of steps when she realized where her head was at. The anger pushing away reason, and her own personal code. Violence was supposed to be a last resort, not a first impulse. The time might come when she would have to confront them, but not like this. Not as a monster intent on satiating its own violent impulses.
She looked back up at Alice leaning against the rail expecting her to be staring out at the horizon, except she wasn't. Somehow Alice was looking down at the very spot the two of them stood, with a frown of confusion on her face.
Isabella blinked in surprise; no one had ever been able to detect either her or her daughter when they were concealed before. They could have talked openly while she was cloaking and someone standing right next to them wouldn't have heard a thing. She took an experimental step left and was relieved to note Alice's gaze remained right on the ground where they had been standing.
Still, Isabella could take a hint, she didn't want to push her luck and have the whole family alerted yet. That revelation could wait for the right time. She turned and headed back into the forest, making sure not to give the house as much as a backward glance. Isabella felt her daughter turn and follow her after a few seconds of hesitation.
Neither of them spoke a word as they ran back to their new house, though they didn't go directly there. They took a slightly circular route, making sure their scent couldn't be followed as they crossed through two streams. When they arrived, Isabella stopped just by the large tree that dominated the grounds in front of the house. Eliza stepped beside her but didn't really know what to say, so she sat on one of the large stones surrounding an old fire pit that hadn't been used in years.
"Let's go back to LA, this was a mistake." Eliza said trying to guess her mother's mood, their connection nearly closed shut on Isabella's side. "I thought coming back here might help you figure out your past. I never imagined you would have to deal with it all at once. "
Isabella could hear the pure concern in Eliza's voice, and somehow, she managed a small smile as she looked back at her daughter shaking her head.
"No. I've seen them. You stopped me from killing them. It's clear they've moved on with their lives. I guess it's long past time for me to do the same." Isabella seemed almost happy with her choice, resigned to the reality of living in Forks again.
"Are you sure?" Eliza said with some hesitation, ready to pack up their stuff and head out right away.
"Actually, I think it was good we found them this way." Isabella looked over at Eliza, who tilted her head curiously. "If I had run into them without expecting it, I might have acted on impulse. I would've been unable to control my anger, not only blowing our cover, but also destroying a coven who hasn't broken our laws. I never thought I would have a chance to see them like that, living their lives without me." Isabella said with more than a little bit of an introspective tone of voice.
"A view from the gallery." Eliza said nodding her head as if that explained anything.
"Um, I guess." Isabella said with a sigh of exasperation already on her lips.
"Babylon 5, really good episode about two guys who give us a chance to see the world from a different point of view. I mean, it doesn't directly correlate, but it's close." Eliza said succinctly.
"You and twentieth century science fiction. There have been plenty of great stories produced in the last century." Isabella said in frustration.
"Yes, but they are all imitators, remakes, and reboots. Plus, the remake of Babylon 5 was a totally different beast." Eliza said with far too much seriousness for Isabella, which was a point of contention that had caused more than one argument over the years. Isabella didn't mind Eliza's obsession, but worried she devoted too much time to it.
"Okay you win, but we're staying." Isabella said with a soft smile.
"So, what are you going to do when you see them face to face?" Eliza asked, feeling a measure of doubt about Isabella's declaration, but couldn't keep the curiosity from her voice.
Isabella frowned as she considered the question. "I'm not sure. I'll put it off as long as possible and do my best to just ignore them. They didn't want me, and I have another family now, a better family." Eliza smiled and sent reciprocating feelings back towards her mother. "I have you."
"No, we have each other." Eliza set aside her reservations, suddenly feeling like maybe coming here hadn't been such a bad idea after all. Seeing even these small glimpses of genuine emotion other than anger from her mother was exceedingly rare.
Isabella looked up towards the house, their new home, and realized that Eliza was right after all; she did have to confront those feelings, but she really didn't know how she truly felt about them. The Cullens had been a ghost, a haunting memory of pain. Seeing them made one thing clear, they were real, and she could never forgive them for their actions. The supposedly human loving vampires were treacherous liars and manipulators, but they didn't matter. At least not to her, not anymore. A view from the gallery indeed.
Author's Note:
So really strange coincidence, we originally finished this edit last year and I think it holds up pretty well, but while doing a small editing pass on it this afternoon I realized we had an outdated line. It was originally; "Yes, but they are all imitators, remakes, and reboots. Plus, no one ever remade Babylon 5."
Well out of the blue last month JMS (creator of B5) announced that they are doing a remake/reboot of the series. Goes to show that writing sci-fi will always end up dated, no matter how you try to future proof yourself. I never thought anyone would spend the money or devote the time needed to remake that series, so that line always felt like a safe bet. I guess I was wrong.
The scene with Edward used the dialogue from the movie not the book, with one additional line about the family.
The scene with Esme takes place during the time between Twilight and New Moon that we do not get to see in the original books. Same with the references to Isabella's time spent with Alice.
Eliza being in love with older science fiction is a way to bridge the time frame gap. Rather than her love be grounded in contemporary fiction, she loves the time around when her mother was a child. Glimpsed from Isabella's memories.
Thank you so much for reading!
