a/n: Thank you all for giving this story so much love! (And thanks again for bearing with the angst)

My friend and beta Callieskye is the best. She makes this story so much better!

I hope you guys like this (horribly late)update. Leave a review, please?

P. S For all my Indian/Hindi speaking readers, I suddenly realised that Sau Dard Hai by Sonu Nigam is the best background score for this chapter.


The End of an Era

Ron knew his unannounced presence at such an ungodly hour would worry his parents crazy. And yet, here he was, outside his childhood home, in the rain, in the middle of the night.

He paused momentarily outside the old door that opened into the living room. The rain continued to pour silently, a monotonous, creating an almost dreamy sort of rhythm, while he waited, using the time to quietly strengthen his resolve. He tapped on the door twice, before placing his palm flat on the age-withered wood and resting his weight against it. He was exhausted.

His mum always slept light- he doubted that've changed since he'd left, and sure enough, he heard hurried footsteps beyond the door within a few minutes.

"Mum, it's me- Ron," he announced before she asked, clearing his throat and wiping his face on the sleeve of his jacket with little result. He was worried they'd notice his eyes. Hopefully, the faint candlelight would cast enough shadows; thankfully the Burrow didn't have muggle lighting yet.

For the briefest moment, he realised how his brain had literally shut down, focussing and fussing on the mundane rather than on the gaping hole left in whatever was left of his life. Perhaps this was what they called survival instinct? He hated that something inside him was still fighting to keep him alive… after everything...

"Ron, is that really you?" she asked. He heard the heavier footsteps of his father approaching and then suddenly coming to a halt.

"Yeah, it's me," he replied, hoping she'd hurry up so he could finish what he had come for and then ...just...disappear from everyone's lives for a bit if he could.

"Why didn't you Floo in?" His father's voice was more sceptical than worried and he chuckled dryly to himself.

"Spoken like the father of an Auror, Dad," he replied mechanically. "I-I just had to talk to you guys and-"

"That doesn't answer my question. For all I know, you could be an imposter."

"Okay… I… " he wracked his brains to think of something- anything, but it seemed his brain had deleted every memory that involved her- his whole life since he was eleven. "I - I really loved that teddy bear the twins transfigured into a spider, dad," he managed with difficulty. No sooner had the words escaped him, the door opened with a mighty swing, causing him to stumble awkwardly into the living room.

Momentarily blinded by the candlelight, it took him a moment before he noticed the worried faces of his parents, moments during which his mum cast a perfect drying charm on him. Despite all the mental preparation, he was suddenly at a loss for words. Thankfully his mum helped him there too.

"What's wrong, Ron? Is Jane alright?" she asked in a hurried whisper, running towards the kitchen and quickly lighting a fire in the grate. He shut the door behind him before he and his dad followed her wordlessly.

"Jane? Yeah, no, I mean, she's better…" he managed before quickly adding the rest. "That's not what I am here about."

His mum was already at the sink, filling a kettle. She paused abruptly, the kettle hanging from her hand, and gave him a long stare before turning a smidge to face his father, fear etched on her ageing features.

Ron noticed how his dad's expression turned grim. "Are you leaving for another mission?"

"No," he replied; both his parents relaxed visibly at his words. His mum released a very audible sigh of relief as she proceeded to put the kettle on to boil.

His father gave him a tired smile as he patted Ron on the shoulder and indicated the chair. "Sit," Arthur called as he grabbed another chair for himself.

Ron waited till his mum joined them, and soon, the three of them were sitting with steaming hot cups in front of them, two pairs of ageing eyes watching him curiously.

Where was he to start? How much could he tell them? Was it the right decision to let them know? Was he ready to face what came next?

Fuck, he was tired. It was very likely that he had been wrong all along. The mission might have been over but he was carrying the burden of its repercussions, and it seemed very likely that he'd have to bear it for the rest of his life- as if the last seven bloody years hadn't messed him up enough already.

However, there was little choice left. He had made her a promise already, and it was only a matter of time until the family knew- he had continued the lie long enough.

"I-" he began, looked at them before quickly averted his eyes to finish the rest. "We- I… Her- Hermione and I aren't together anymore." He heard the soft gasp from his mum, took a sip to help his parched throat before adding the rest. "Thought you should know," he finished abruptly, unable to decide what to say next.

A few tense minutes later, during which he found it exceptionally hard to look anywhere but at the dark tea in his cup, his mum finally broke the silence. "Since when?" she asked, the word barely masking her anguish.

Ron placed his cup down and clasped his hands together before exhaling quietly, praying to whatever force would hear him, to give him strength. He had to keep going, he told himself. He had made a decision six and a half years ago and this was the final piece of the act he had been carrying on. It might have been for the greater good, yes, to save his family, to save Hermione, but that didn't matter in the least as far as his future was concerned. It had been a conscious decision to choose the mission and only he was responsible for how fucked up his life was as a result.

He forced himself to meet her eyes. "More than six and a half years now," he provided softly, hating how his mother caught up quickly despite her shock. On some level, he knew it and yet seeing his mum's eyes pooling made him curse himself a bit more.

"I know you don't have to tell us but I wonder...why?"

Ron forced himself to gulp down the lump in his throat as his eyes found his father's but he had to look away to lie. "How long could I take her outshining me at everything? She and her I'm-the-best attitude. I hate it."

He hoped with all his might that he'd sound like a fucking bastard, that the lie would live on. In the past, he had dreamt of coming clean to her. It didn't matter anymore. In fact, in the current scenario, Hermione could never know the truth- he had to ensure that. If his parents, specifically his Mum, ever found out his reasons, it wouldn't be long before Hermione knew too.

"Oh, Merlin, the poor girl!" gasped his mum as she clutched her heart before sniffing and wiping her eyes on the sleeve of her nightgown. "I'm so ashamed to call you my son!" she spat incredulously through her tears. "Have you got any idea how much you've hurt her?! Oh, Arthur! Where did we go wrong with him?"

Ron chanced a glimpse at his father, his heart sinking as he found disappointment cloud his father's features. What had he expected? He knew, didn't he? But it was okay, Ron told himself. He deserved it-losing the last bits of good that remained in his life. It was Karma, life was just returning him the hurt he had caused to all those he loved.

"You know, Ron, your Mum and I knew we couldn't afford the best things for our children," Arthur began in a chillingly calm voice, and Ron found himself struggling to keep the act going, to maintain eye contact. "Sometimes we could barely afford the basics," continued his father, "but we really hoped that we taught you all well. We were proud that we had raised our children well. Taught them to respect people and their relationships at least. Seems we failed there too."

A loud clap of thunder tore through the dull pattering of rain, which in turn intensified into a furious downpour.

"Let's go," muttered his father at long last as he clasped his wife on the shoulder. His mum gave Ron one last look of disgust before she picked herself up. Seemed everyone had forgotten how to read his eyes or maybe he wore his mask a little too well and lied too flawlessly for his own good...

With one swish of his wand, his father doused the fire in the grate, drenching the room in darkness while Ron continued to sit, unable to pick himself up and leave. Perhaps the heaviness in his heart had seeped into his very bones.

He heard footsteps moving away and had almost coaxed his uncooperative body to leave when suddenly his mother paused. "Why weren't we told earlier?" she inquired in a voice that clearly told him she was barely holding back from cursing him into the next century.

It took him a while to find his voice. "I'd expected she'd have told y'all, but she hadn't. My story to tell-she told me. I reckoned it wouldn't harm to stay quiet till the wedding, keep you guys... oblivious and … happy..."

She let out a derisive laugh but once she started speaking, her voice cracked. "Keep us happy, he says, Arthur!"

Ron was glad of the darkness in the room; they wouldn't notice the tears that had finally escaped. He didn't move, didn't attempt to wipe them off. Ironically, he had found the strength to leave because he was almost suffocating inside the house.

"Let's go, dear," called his father, and without further ado, his parents left.

He stood promptly, feeling strangely detached from his physical self, and walked out of the room through the back door.

For hours Ron walked in the pouring rain, unaware of his destination, letting his feet guide him to the end of the world if they could.

Six and a half years ago...

"Ron, please!" she cried, slumping down slowly at the edge of her bed, her pretty blue summer dress pooling around her.

"I've made up my mind," he told her, careful to keep his voice steady, careful to look away as he lied.

"But you can't!" she sobbed, "Why would you do this to us?"

"I can't always live in your or Harry's shadow. Gotta find a name for myself, don't I?" he sneered. "Perhaps you enjoy being the smarter one, show how I'm not up to your standards. I don't."

He knew he had hammered in the last nail as her sobbing paused.

"Why...why would you say s-something like t-that after everything we've been through?!"

"I gotta go," he replied, his resolve breaking. She'd never see how his nails had drawn blood in crescent shapes as he fisted his fingers tight.

"Ron! Please-"

He had walked away before he heard anymore, before his resolve lost to his heart.

For days afterwards, he kept muttering to himself that it was for her own good. She'd be alive, be able to move on just in case he never returned. If he returned, he'd tell her the truth and let her decide his punishment. Even in his worst nightmares, Hermione spoke to him- screamed, yelled and cursed, but spoke to him, heard him out at the very least.

Looking back he knew it was the first day of his self-created purgatory- just the beginning. Life would never give him another chance.

...

When his legs tired walking through mud and rain, he slumped down on the pavement, drenched to his core. He seemed to have reached a town he had never previously been to. For the second time in one day, he was lost. Not that he cared. Not that anyone cared.

Ron had lost Hermione...

She had moved on to a better future, and behind all the hurt there was relief that she wasn't hurting as much as him- and yet, sometimes, he wished she could still read his silence.

Tonight he had lost his parents too. It would just be a matter of days before he lost his siblings as well. As his heart finally acknowledged the enormity of his loss he realised he had no tears left to shed.

Too exhausted to Apparate, he hailed the Knight bus. This time he gave his London address to the conductor as he settled in his seat, pulled out two Sickles and handed them to the man. He could no longer feel anything. It was hard to decide if it was a good change or bad. He'd been spiralling for days anyway. He couldn't care less.

Tomorrow he'd go back to being an Auror- the most ruthless Auror Britain had ever seen.
The Darkness had taken away everything from him and they'd have to pay for it, he swore quietly to himself.