The few weeks before the end of term passed quickly. In those few weeks, Bella had been very subdued due to the breakdown of her relationship with Seamus and she could tell that everyone was worried about her. During the day, she would paint on a smile and act as if her heart didn't shatter everytime she spotted Seamus or Lavender; at night she would wait until everyone was asleep, pull the covers tightly around her shaking frame and sob into her pillow, releasing all of the feelings she couldn't find words for. She could see the concern in everyone's eyes and that only served to make her feel worse - every time she ran into Cedric in the corridors he would ask her 'how are you doing?' and she would reply 'yeah I'm doing okay, thanks Cedric' while holding back tears. Fred and George had taken to pranking Seamus with not-so-harmless pranks when they discovered what he had done and Bella had warned them on multiple occasions to stop but it fell on deaf ears. Ron and Harry were on high alert at all times, trying their best to steer her down corridors and up staircases in order to avoid anything that would upset her. Her friends had been so supportive of her when she felt the worst she had ever felt and she felt terrible for making them worry, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't shake the dark cloud hanging over her and the overwhelming feelings pulling her deeper into the darkness.
"There's a Hogsmeade weekend coming up this weekend, it might help you feel better." said Hermione softly.
"I'm okay, really. I think I'll give it a miss this time though, stay here with Harry." said Bella, glancing over with a smile, to where Harry and Ron were locked in an intense game of Wizard's Chess on the other side of the common room.
"Aw Bella, you have to come! We need to do our Christmas shopping!" said Emily excitedly.
"I'm just not really feeling Hogsmeade. I can get Ron to shop for me." said Bella.
Hogsmeade wasn't mentioned again until the night before the trip.
"Bella, how am I supposed to remember all of that?" said Ron fretfully.
"I've written it down for you. Don't worry, brother dear, I've got you covered." said Bella with a chuckle, waving a small piece of parchment at him.
Ron took the parchment from her and scanned over it, then said, "There's more presents here than we have friends, who are you buying for?"
"Well - there's two small presents for Harry, Hermione, Freya and Emily. One from you and one from me but we'll just say they're from both of us." she explained.
"That still doesn't explain the two extra things on the list." said Ron.
"I wanted to buy something for Cedric." said Bella quickly and under her breath.
"What was that?" asked Ron with a smirk.
Bella huffed, looking up at him with a pout; "I wanted to buy Cedric a gift, okay?"
"Oh, you did, did you?" said Ron with a snigger.
"Oh yeah, very funny." said Bella, shoving Ron's shoulder while he laughed. "He's been there for me, it's the least I can do."
"It's none of my business." said Ron with his hands up in surrender. "I just think someone might have a little crush on the Hufflepuff seeker." he teased.
"Oh, shut up." laughed Bella, nudging Ron with her shoulder.
For the briefest of moments, the heavy weight upon her chest had gotten just a little lighter, easing the sinking feeling she felt. But just as quick as it had lessened, it returned in full-force, pulling her back into the darkness.
"Are you okay?" asked Ron as he watched her cheery spirit deflate in seconds.
"Yeah, I'm fine." Bella physically shook her head, slapping on her fake smile again. Ron smiled nervously at her, not entirely convinced she was telling the truth but not wanting to press.
That night passed the same way as every other had before it, with Bella breaking her heart in the early hours of the morning - only her pillow for comfort. When she woke, all evidence of her tears had gone, leaving only her exhausted shell to carry on the charade of happiness.
Breakfast was boring. A few nibbles of dry toast washed down with half a glass of pumpkin juice and Bella felt full to burst. Madam Pomfrey had made her promise she would eat to help her stomach fully heal, but that's what the feast was for, breakfast always made her feel nauseous whether she ate very little or everything in sight. Harry and Bella bid farewell to their freinds in the chilly courtyard and ventured back in to the warmth of the castle.
"How come you didn't go to Hogsmeade today?" said Harry as they ambled down the corridors.
"Just wasn't feeling it, besides it means I get to spend time with my favourite annoyance." she laughed.
"I'm hurt by that." said Harry, holding his chest in mock pain.
"Psst!"
Bella and Harry looked at each other then around the corridor, trying to find where the noise had come from.
"Did you hear that?" asked Harry.
"Yeah." said Bella slowly.
"Psst!"
It was louder this time and when Bella looked further down the corridor she spotted a mop of bright red hair and then another just behind it.
"What are you guys doing?!" hissed Bella. Fred and George were poking their heads out from behind the statue of the One-eyed witch.
"Smuggling you out, of course!" said Fred as though it was obvious.
"Count me out." said Bella, stepping away from them.
"You really don't want to come?" asked George.
"No, I'm quite happy staying here." said Bella.
"Harry?" said Fred, looking to Harry who was stood just beside Bella.
He looked between Bella and the twins, clearly weighing up his options.
"Go, Harry. Go and have fun." said Bella, gently pushing him towards her brothers.
"But - but you'll be on your own." said Harry.
"I'll be okay. I've seen Hogsmeade, you haven't, go and enjoy yourself." she smiled.
Harry beamed at her, pulling her tightly into his arms. He pulled back and shuffled behind the statue with Fred and George, large smile still plastered on his face. Bella smiled to herself, happy to see Harry happy. She walked back to Gryffindor Tower, watching the snow fall through every window she passed. The silence in the common room felt suffocating and Bella escaped to her dorm, hoping to take a nap.
She lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, for what felt like hours. She was so close to giving up and getting out of bed when Crookshanks appeared at the bottom of the bed. Bella sat up on her elbows and looked down at him as he looked up at her, neither moving a muscle. Finally, Crookshanks climbed up the bed and as Bella settled back down, he snuggled into her side. She ran her fingers through his soft fur and he purred loudly, snuggling deeper into her side.
"You're not a bad kitty, are you?" Bella whispered to the ceiling and Crookshanks purred again.
Bella closed her eyes, still running her fingers through Crookshanks fur. The soft purrs at her side and the even softer fur under her fingers helped Bella fall into her first peaceful sleep for weeks, leaving her feeling relaxed instead of in pain.
