Jasper

"Em, pick up!" I am practically shouting into the dial tone. It's rung through three times now.

I panicked when her eyes closed. I don't know enough about humans to know what is happening. She looks so sick and fragile. While she could have easily been asleep, I just didn't know. The lack of emotions from her wasn't helping.

It was just like before, when Alice had been helping me from that atrocity of a past and I'd wake up from the Major to see a lifeless body. I'd never know what he had done to the poor being and for that I was eternally grateful. The aftermath was bad enough.

Finally, the ringing ends and a playful voice shouts, "Bro! You've been gone forever. Lost?"

I don't have the patience for his teasing. Surely, he must realise that after three missed calls something is wrong. Even he can't be that stupid.

"I need you to come meet me, bring a car." I growl out the street address, then hang up the phone, not bothering to wait for a response.

Beside me, Bella's body is wracked with violent shudders. I hear each time her delicate frame bashes against the unrelenting stone wall. The mounds of blankets barely cushion the sound.

The seasons are starting to change. I know that although the temperatures are dropping, it isn't anywhere near as cold as she must have experienced. Somewhere in the back of my mind I remember the same feeling. My human memories are faint, becoming more distant as the decades progress. It's rare that I think about my before life now. Bella's response to the cold reminds me of those final years. The years on the battlefield with no shelter or comfort. While it had never been this cold, compared to the baking heat of summer, winters were a shock to the system. I vowed Bella would never feel this again; I couldn't leave her to endure the torment I had been rescued from.

I blame myself for her situation. Really, who else is there to blame? All of the consequences lead back to my own actions. I'd not hunted like I should have that day, I stupidly thought I would be alright, I was getting used to her. Bella paid the price for my negligence.

For months the what ifs spun around in my head. What if I had hunted? What if I had tried better to learn control? What if I had just killed her the first day Edward found her?

Despite their words of reassurance, I could feel the family's blame. Part of me longed to explain, to excuse my behaviour, but I knew it was my fault.

Now, looking down at the broken human, I know that that no excuse could be enough.

She clearly needs medical attention. Emmett is my only choice. It wouldn't be safe for me to take her to the hospital alone. I could have just called an ambulance and let her go without me, but I have a strange feeling that if I did that I'd never see her again. Besides, how could I put that financial burden on her? No, I need to accompany her in some way.

Mentally I am beating myself up for the predicament. I wish I had spent these last few years learning from my mistake. I should have focused on controlling my blood lust further. I am a disgrace to my name - a Major who cannot help a woman in need due to my own inattention to problems in front of me.

So, I sit and wait, and wait, and wait.

My thoughts are racing, weighing all of the possible options. Should I run her to the hospital myself? I can't do that, how would I explain not being able to enter? Should I find more blankets, maybe a hot water bottle? No, who knows what would happen in my absence.

I try calling Emmett again, but he doesn't answer. Maybe I should have stopped to explain the situation further, impressed the severity of the situation before hanging up, made him rush. The waiting is torture. I desperately hope that it won't cause Bella to get worse. Would Emmett ever forgive himself if Bella died due to his lack of urgency?

I'm longing to do something more to help. Anything! My body is as stone cold as the wall she leans against so I can't even off her any warmth. I have nothing to offer her, no way to help.

Since I signed up to war, religion is something I'd never considered. We were monsters. If there is a God, he must be looking down on us, these violations of nature, in despair. Regardless, I find myself begging to any and all gods for a reprieve.

It is over an hour later when I finally hear a car approaching that I recognise. Leaping to my feet, I jog at human speed to the alley end to wave him down. I'm sure he could have located me by himself, but I'm not prepared to wait for his procrastination any longer.

"What the hell, man? What you doing down here? Get in, let's go." He's pissed.

"Keep the engine running and put the heat on. Just stay there. I'll be back." My voice is laced with the clear and commanding tone I'd learnt as a Major. I don't even wait to see if he has followed my instructions, my entire focus is on returning to Bella.

Reaching her, I send the strongest dose of lethargy I can and hope that it will work. I've never experienced such a numb creature before, so I don't know if it will keep her asleep long enough for the journey.

Am I deluding myself? Is she beyond help? I know she is alive; I can hear her weak heartbeat, but I don't see the signs you'd usually expect from a sleeping human. No subtle eye movement beneath her lids. No whispering like she used to. The only visible movement is the violent tremors and shaky, uneven breaths.

I start to gently unpeel the blanket bundle. The sight beneath is agonising. I can't help but let out a small noise of shock.

From the car I hear Emmett call to me asking what's going on, but I don't bother to reply, focused entirely on the job at hand. The years of training are so ingrained in me that I couldn't switch them off if I wanted to.

Sure, in the past there had been times I wish I could have relaxed fully around my family. I have resigned myself to living in a constant state of awareness, the ability to process the external environment to prepare for any potential ambush while keeping my focus entirely on the needed job. It makes others nervous, but I can't make myself feel guilty about it. It has saved my life far too many times.

I'm trying to be as gentle as I can removing the blankets. I will not cause more damage if I can help it.

The stench coming from beneath the folds is overpowering on my sensitive vampire nose, but I push through. Numerous bugs scurry out as I dislodge their homes. I'm horrified. How can she be living like this?

I hear Emmett approach behind me. I would know his footfall anywhere. "She's homeless. No one will notice her. Just make it look like a murder. Let's go before the cops come."

He thinks I've drunk from her?! Is that really all they see in me, a mistake waiting to happen? Somewhere deep inside my chest I feel a growl starting to build.

"I said stay with the car. Go." The soft rumble comes as a warning to all creatures. A caution not to mess with me.

In my peripheral vision I see him move closer and then flinch realising what he is seeing. There is a strangled cry of grief as he realises who it is.

"Go," I growl at him again. Thankfully he listens.

Having removed the final blanket, I get my first clear view of her body.

Emaciated doesn't even begin to cover it. I have to wonder when she last ate a proper meal. She's just skin hanging off of a skeleton. Her worn and threadbare jacket swamps her body. Poking beneath I see what must have once been a red dress. I knew the reason for the dress but I don't allow my brain to linger on that thought. Even without having overheard the conversation from earlier, the distinct salty taste would have given it away.

My heart breaks a little more as I imagine the once beautiful, strong, and courageous woman treated in that way.

There are several bruises all over her body, some with the distinct five-point impression of handprints. The blankets had hidden the clear marks around her neck. It causes the Major within me to roar protectively. They stand out clearly on her chalk white complexion. She almost looks like one of us.

"We are going to fix this," I whisper to her. I know she can't hear me, but I need to reassure the demon building inside me.

I wrap my jacket around her shoulders and use the cleanest blanket to protect her modesty. She doesn't even have any shoes. The soles of her feet are a bloody mess.

Scooping her up as gently as I can, I hug her close.

Our procession back to the car is slow. I am terrified of hurting her further. Although I can barely feel the way her tremors bang into my chest, I know that it could potentially cause more damage.

I nearly cry in relief when I realise that Emmett has listened to me. The car is radiating heat as I place her ever so gently into the front seat and fasten the seatbelt in place. When I am sure she is secure and as comfortable as she can be, I climb into the back, leaving the wheel for Emmett. He's already searched for the local hospital and has the directions waiting on his phone.

He drives steadily, taking corners slowly so as not to jostle Bella further. I can feel his fear barrelling into me, and it isn't helping me to manage my own. I need to keep myself cool and calm so that I don't project anything negative along with the lethargy.

The tension makes the ten minute journey feel like a lifetime.

"I can't go in," I mutter. Admitting weakness is not something I am comfortable with.

He just nods, and I watch helplessly as he hurries the broken body inside.

I park the car \in the closest available spot and jump out. I know that being this close to the hospital isn't a good idea, but I can't bear the idea of being so far from her.

I don't know how long I'm pacing back and forth when my phone buzzes.

"Where are you?" It's Alice. She must have returned to the empty hotel room confused. I am so out of it. I should have informed everyone what was happening. I haven't even told Emmett her story - what if he doesn't know the information?

I look around for a sign, hoping it will help me identify a location. "Portland ER," I whisper.

"We'll be there soon." I love Alice in that moment. She doesn't ask questions, simply acts, trusting me.

My mind flashes back to that day, the day we'd met. It hadn't been long since I'd left Peter and Charlotte, struggling with their diet. I was on a destructive streak, refusing to release the Major, but also unable to hunt; the overwhelming emotions of humans just before they died was too much for me. So, I'd done the only option available to me - I'd starved until I could bear it no longer.

I was hunting, trying to find the human with the worst emotions so as to alleviate my guilt, when Alice had danced up to me and promised to help. She'd supported me through it all, never judging, simply being a steadfast body ready to pick up the pieces every time I slipped.

Part of me doubted she would ever truly know the horrors I'd been through. I'd shared some of it with her in the past and she had never once shown even the slightest hint of disgust or repulsion as I had expected. She had seen the Major on many occasions, sat while I fought with my self-control.

Now Bella needs me to do the same, and what am I doing? I'm pacing in the parking lot. She has been through so much as a result of my actions, and I'm not even strong enough to help her.

My hands go to my head, pulling on my hair as I wear a path into the grassy area. I'm feeling so useless. Inside, the Major is screaming, roaring in anger. He's never reacted like this to anyone but Alice before.

Soft hands encase my own and remove them gently.

I stare down into her golden orbs and allow her emotions to fill me. Her peace is my undoing. The world crashes around me as I understand the enormity of the situation.

Never before had I felt this way about a human. I'd killed them as sport for so many years, yet this clumsy girl had captured a piece of my heart. My sister.

I collapse into Alice, my shoulders wracked with sobs.

"It's all my fault." y inner monologue is verbalised for the first time.

She doesn't comment, doesn't tell me to do anything, just stands and allows me to break. The Major is screaming at me to pull myself together, but I know that I am safe. Nothing is going to happen here, and even if it were, Alice would see it and warn me.

I'm too far gone to contain myself when Rosalie approaches us. Her bitter and self-obsessed emotions awaken the beast within me.

I turn and snarl a deep growl at her. "You are not welcome here."

At my words, her emotions suddenly change into anxiety. Good, she should be scared of me. I'm settled slightly when she backs away and drives off. I storm into the building, needing the reassurance that she hasn't harmed Bella further. If she has, then I doubted even Carlisle could save her.

The waiting room is thankfully nearly empty. My eyes lock immediately on Emmett. He's sitting stiffly, obviously having heard my threats towards his wife.

"Update," I demand. Behind me Alice is explaining something to him, but I don't care. "Now!"

He looks terrified. None of the family except Alice have seen me as the Major, and I know how terrifying it is. I'm not called the God of War for nothing.

"She's been admitted, we just need to wait. I don't know anything. they won't talk to me." He stammers the explanations. "Should you be in here?"

I send him a sharp look. He is a vampire; surely, he is capable of finding out information from humans.

Alice tries to stop me as I stalk towards the reception desk, but I pay no attention. The lady behind the desk turns deathly pale as she meets my gaze briefly.

"Bella Swan, update now."

She looks like she is going to refuse, but I focus my brows and send her a wave of fear.

"Of course, someone will be right out." She scurries away.

I don't thank her.