Prompt: At the Edge of the Court by Loopy777
We saw three nations ruled by a kind of monarchy- the Earth Kingdom, the Fire Nation, and the Northern Water Tribe. In one of those, in any time period, I want to see a story or character study about someone on the lower echelons of the Royal Court. Perhaps a servant, or a jester, a bureaucrat, an ignored adviser, a minister of lesser responsibility, concubine #146; feel free to make the position up. You can tell any kind of tale you want- romance, espionage, parody, political thriller, slice-of-life, etc- but I want you to show, not tell, how the court functions and how this person fits into the court. Canon characters and OC's are both welcome.


Entry #1
The Greatest Crime by Loopy777

Within the most guarded chamber in the entire Royal Fire Palace, the most important people in the Fire Nation conferred. It was a meeting that would change the fate of the entire world, a meeting that would spell the complete destruction of the one of the age-old Four Nations, a meeting that would shake the entire world down to its foundations.

"The situation is intolerable," said The First.

"Every day has become a struggle," said The Second.

"Perhaps it is time that we think the unthinkable," said The Third.

"You cannot mean..." The First trailed off.

"It would be completely unprecedented..." The Second trailed off.

"But to allow that to stop us from doing what must be done..." The Third trailed off, and then waggled her eyebrows for emphasis.

It was the eyebrows that did it. The First and The Second both nodded, but their pensive expressions made it clear that they would leave it to The Third to announce. The Third, in turn, gave a long suffering sigh, because that was just typical, really.

Her suffering did not last much longer. Moments later, Fire Lord Sozin walked into the room and began untying his belt. "Ladies! Which one of Royal Fire Concubines will be the first to please her Lord?"

The Third crossed her arms over her chest. "We quit! You pay us peanuts, starve us half to death so that we match your stupid ideal of feminine beauty, don't give us enough vacation time, and it's frankly really creepy how you insist we answer to 'Roku' because none of our names even begin with an R (not that you've ever bothered to ask). So we quit!" The Third then marched right out the door, her head held high.

The Second followed her, never looking at Sozin.

The First also followed, but stopped beside her former boss and whispered, "I kinda liked being called Roku, but don't tell the others I said so. Bye, now!"

And so Fire Lord Sozin was left with a harem containing nothing but oversized pillows.

A week later he had drawn up a first draft of plans to conquer the world.

END


Entry #2
Miscount by Loopy777

Pakku finished his speech by bowing his head, and saying, "So with the enormity of the damage done by our irrational traditions now fully visible to me, I ask that I be given leave to train Katara in Waterbending, as well as any other women who desire to learn the fighting arts."

From his position at the head of the leadership dais, Chief Arnook regarded his Tribe's most senior Waterbending Master with great solemnity. "I am sympathetic to your plea, Master Pakku, but even as Chief, I feel it beyond my power to accede to your request. I ask that the Tribal Council vote with me on the matter, and only by unanimous acclimation will we upend the foundation of our Tribe's society." He turned around to the other men kneeling behind him on the dais. "What say you all?"

At the very edge of the triangle formation, one of the older men raised his head and peered out from beneath bushy gray eyebrows. "Oh, uh, excuse me, I thought this was the Storytelling Hut. I'll leave you to your voting business." He stood up and awkwardly shuffled out of the Grand Council Building.

Pakku gaped. "Who was that?"

Chief Arnook shrugged. "I have no idea."

"But I recognize his face! He's been sitting in on the Council meetings for decades!"

Arnook couldn't quite meet the Waterbending Master's gaze as he said, "Well, I've never really used the Council for much. In fact, this is the first time I've ever bothered consulting them on anything. Or even looking at them, really."

It was a long moment before Pakku spoke again. "You're an idiot. I'm leaving on the first boat out of here."

END


Entry #3
Delicious Irony by Loopy777

Monk Aptal was not so crass as to believe himself an important member of the Southern Air Temple's hierarchy. In fact, he would be the first to admit that he held very little formal power, and even his informal influence was both limited and circumstantial. However, on this day, he had a rare opportunity to do something important, and to make sure that something truly good happened. Thus, as he prepared breakfast for Temple monks, he paid extra attention to his work, for he knew what he had to do, and success was balanced on the edge of a knife.

The Head of the Council of Elders, Monk Pasang, would be having an early meeting (it was said) right after breakfast (according to most sources). The Elders normally did not conduct Council business until the afternoon, as most of the older Monks preferred to spend their mornings in multi-hour meditations, but today Monk Tashi was raising a Grievance against Monk Gyatso regarding the training of Mo- Avatar Aang, and Pasang wanted to clear the matter up as soon as possible (as the rumors went). Monk Aptal had assembled this story out of the gossip brought to him by his many friends in the Temple. It was part of Aptal's informal power; people liked to visit his kitchens and speak with him for a moment while they snagged some food. Rarely was Aptal able to act on this information, but the timing of Pasang's meeting would give him just the chance.

Monk Aptal was very fond of M- Avatar Aang, for he was a very friendly and compassionate boy. Aptal knew that as the Aang's guardian, Gyatso was very much in tune with what was good for the young Avatar's happiness and wellbeing. Tashi, on the other hand, was a sour grump who thought that the world would be a better place if all Airbenders spent their free time in libraries and sparring halls. Aptal had very clear views onthat, and opposed whatever Tashi did on general principle. Thus, if he wanted to sway Pasang to Gyatso's argument, whatever that was, Aptal needed to make Pasang think sweet thoughts, not sour. He considered all the sweet dishes he could serve for breakfast, and soon enough settled on the perfect dish. Once Pasang tasted it, he would no doubt be predisposed to grant whatever Gyatso requested, even if it was a request that they stopped segregating the Temples by gender. (Aptal's fierce blush at the heretical thought made him pause in his assembling of ingredients.)

Aptal worked his hardest on the dish he intended to serve to Pasang, taking every care to perfectly balance the ingredients for maximum flavor and sweetness, and timed the baking with the most precise hourglass in the entire Temple. The dish didn't take long to prepare, but so intense was Aptal's focus that once breakfast was served, he had to go take a nap lest he collapse from exhaustion.

Still, it would be an easy rest, for he knew that his Fruit Pies were the second best in the entire world, right behind Monk Gyatso's.

*

Later, Pasang looked down at the fruit pie that had been placed before him for breakfast, and he couldn't help but remember the awful sticky feeling that came from Monk Gyatso and Avatar Aang dropping such pies on his head as part of their constant, misguided pranking.

He decided right there that, whatever this Grievance was between Tashi and Gyatso, he would decide in favor of Tashi. Let Gyatso put that in his pipe and smoke it.

Pasang also decided to skip breakfast. He wasn't really hungry anyway.

END


Judging

The Greatest Crime by Loopy777
Review: You're an idiot. BWA HA, Sozin was gay for Roku, Sozin conquered the world because he didn't have a girlfriend. Gee, what stunning and original humor. THAT IS SARCASM. Why don't you stop writing until you can do more than make your stories delivery platforms for crass jokes?

Miscount by Loopy777
Review: You're an idiot. This doesn't even make any sense. I also get the sense this is nothing more than a weak illustration of some obscure point you were making on tumblr regarding whether Unalaq is an absolute monarch of some kind. I think you also may be attempting humor with this piece, but I'm not really sure.

Delicious Irony by Loopy777
Review: Well, at least you're attempting to think creatively, and making some weak pass at worthwhile narration. I'm not saying you succeeded, but your display of ambition is simply adorable. Too bad you picked a nation that wasn't listed in the prompt. You're an idiot.

Winner: Delicious Irony by Loopy777
Not that your story was any good, and you broke the rules, but the other two were just too awful, and I frankly don't care anymore. Don't let it go to your head, you're still not a good writer, and you're not funny. In fact, if you died, I bet the average IQ of fanfiction writers would go up by 5 points. Now get out of here.