It took Cedric several days to start accepting the likelihood of Evangeline's state. She was patient and understanding, though as the days passed, she fell into a bout of melancholy. It was difficult to know that he would never fully be able to feel the joy and excitement surrounding their child. In turn, she wouldn't be capable either despite desperately wanting to be. But she'd known what to expect with marriage to Cedric. He wasn't ready to be married again, not even to someone he loved. Though they may have still ended up as husband and wife in the end, it would have been in his own time and without the pressure of Aunt Adelaide. Most days, Evangeline was okay with this. She loved him terribly and it was a blessing to be with him at all. Even if their marriage had been merely for show and they slept in their separate rooms she would have been content simply knowing they had a special connection. Nevertheless, that didn't stop her from her imaginings of things being easier between them and him being thoroughly happy. Despite it all, he didn't seem unhappy. Sometimes he just needed to take a step back and isolate himself from her. He hadn't done so in a while. Knowing she was entirely the cause for it this time hurt.

In turn, Evangeline withdrew herself. In part, this was to spare the others from her emotions. She couldn't even blame pregnancy, though, she did wonder if this somehow contributed. She found herself snapping at the children when they didn't deserve it. She lost patience with Cedric easily, turning most of their now rare conversations into an argument of some sort. And poor cook didn't know what to do with Evangeline's untouched meals, though Sebastian quickly solved that dilemma. Still, she knew something was up.

"So, when are ya due?" Mrs. Blatherwick asked one evening when Evangeline came into the kitchen for a cup of tea.

The question had caught her off guard. Her instant reaction was to turn around in fear one of the children had followed her. When she turned back to the cook again, she stammered. "I... what do you mean?"

"It's all I can figure," she said, wiping her hands on her apron before refilling the kettle. "You don't eat, you're crankier with the kids than I am, and you've got Mr. Brown in a daze."

Pursing her lips, Evangeline asked, "That obvious, is it?"

"To someone who's been 'round for a while."

"Finished for the day, Mrs. Blatherwick."

Evangeline tensed at the sound of the new maid, Cynthia's voice. She was so quiet she hardly noticed her around the house. She was a sweet girl from what she knew of her, but she sincerely hoped she hadn't overheard any of their conversation. She wasn't even sure if she was comfortable with cook knowing.

Seeing Evangeline's panic, Mrs. Blatherwick dismissed her without a fuss or double-checking that all the chores had indeed been completed.

"Thank you," Evangeline said softly once Cynthia's footsteps ascended the stairs.

"I also assumed you weren't telling anyone just yet."

She shook her head. "Truth is, I don't know if I'm with child or not. The doctor thinks as much but said I have to wait and see for sure."

"Got the morning sickness, eh?"

"Thankfully, no."

"Something to look forward to." Mrs. Blatherwick winked. "But don't you worry. Mild broths it will be. I only guessed since you won't eat."

With a sigh, Evangeline finally took a seat at the table. "I'm only queasy because I've upset Cedric so terribly. He's worried about what will happen."

"Can't blame him for that."

"No," she agreed, "but there's nothing I can do about it."

"If he hasn't learnt by now the risks of bein' with his wife he never will," Mrs. Blatherwick tutted.

Evangeline blushed furiously. The private details of her and her husband's relationship were not something she wanted to be discussing with anyone. At the same time, she felt relieved to have someone to talk to who wasn't as close to the situation.

"We tried to be mindful," she said in almost a whisper. "When the vicar talked to us about family planning... Well, I thought I'd counted my days right."

"Abstinence is the only surefire way to go about it. 'Course that's not much fun for you now, is it? 'Specially after you spent a year moony-eyed for him."

"Mrs. Blatherwick!" Evangeline said, appalled.

The cook only shrugged, tending to the kettle as it began to whistle. "Doesn't matter now anyhow. I'll bet a tuppence you'll be having a brat of your own several months from now."

"I feel more sure of it every day."

"Trust that instinct," Mrs. Blatherwick said as she set the freshly poured tea in front of Evangeline. "A true mother's intuition."

Evangeline cupped the porcelain with her hands, letting the tea warm her. She'd forgotten how drafty the kitchen could be at night. "I only wish I could be celebrating."

"He'll come around," the cook said as she sat in her seat across the table like old times. "Give it some time."

She shook her head. "I don't think this is something he'll make peace with until it's over. I understand why he's upset. I promise I do. I'm being selfish, I know it. I just want this to be a happy moment for us. When I used to daydream about becoming his wife I never got as far as children. How could I with seven wonderful kids already? I wasn't prepared for the reality of it all for him."

"When you're the one who goes through the childbearing there's no 'selfish' about it."

"Of course there is. He lost his wife that way and nearly Aggie also."

"You'rehis wife now, too. He loves you. That's clear to anyone."

"I know he does," Evangeline said, her voice shaking. "That's why I can't bear the thought of making him go through that pain all over again."

. . .

Talking with Mrs. Blatherwick did help. On her way back upstairs, she felt lighter and less alone. Even if Cedric couldn't be fully present for her for the next several months, she trusted Mrs. Blatherwick to look after her.

When she entered the bedroom, she was surprised to see Cedric sitting on the bed. It was still fairly early, especially when he'd taken to late night letter writing the past few days.

"Oh, thank goodness," he said before she could finish her hello. He stood and hugged her tightly.

"What's happened?" she questioned, her eyebrows narrowed in confusion.

"Nothing. I just worried when I couldn't find you."

Stepping back, Evangeline said, "I went down to the kitchen for a cuppa. Maybe half an hour."

"When the kids said they hadn't seen you… Forgive me. My head is out of sorts."

"Did you think I gone and left?"

Sitting back down on the bed again, he buried his face in his hands and mumbled, "I don't know what I thought."

She sat next to him, pulling his hands toward her. "I'm not going anywhere, Cedric. In any sense of the word."

He shook his head. "I've been insufferable lately, I know."

"You've been scared."

"That, too."

Carefully choosing her words, Evangeline said after a moment, "I know this is something you need to work through. I don't want to push you. I'm just not sure what more there is to say. I can't promise nothing will happen… but if it's destined to, I don't want to spend these next months bickering with or avoiding each other."

He half turned his head but only managed to look at her from the side of his eye. "I don't, either."

"I know you said you don't want me apologizing but I'm not sure what I ought to be feeling but remorse. It must've been my fault. If not for me, we wouldn't be in this predicament."

It wasn't often Cedric showed the brunt of his temper. When he did, it was sudden and to the surprise of whoever was the unfortunate witness to it. Such as Evangeline now, jumping when his fist met the bedpost.

"Damn it, Evangeline!" he shouted. "A child is not a predicament!"

Her lips trembled. He'd yelled at her before, sure, but never in this way. "I… I don't…" she couldn't put more words together, silenced by the anger that radiated from him.

"There's no fault to it!" he continued to rant. "If there is, it's equal blame between you and me. Stop trying to carry it all!"

Her own anger broke through her fear as she cried, "What do you want from me?! Tell me what I'm supposed to do about this because it's apparent I'm going about it wrong!"

"The children!" he hushed.

"You're the one who started with this! You might as well answer me because I can't go another eight months or whatever the bloody hell it will be this way!"

"I want you to stop acting like my servant and stop trying to please me all the time. I want you to act like my wife!"

"Like Agatha, you mean?"

His face grew redder. "Do not bring her into this!"

"She's been a part of this — a part of us!" She ran her sleeve over her face. "I think I've been a might understanding, too. Not many wives would sacrifice the excitement of her first child the way I've had!"

"I never asked you to!"

"How do you expect me to feel anything but dread at any of this? My entire married life has been about numbers and avoiding nature. I was a nervous wreck trying to decide whether or not to tell you, I've felt heartbroken for all this had brung up for you, and now you're screaming at me for apologizing for it. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, Cedric!"

He went quiet, his heavy breathing the only sound emanating from him for a few moments. When he spoke again, his voice was considerably quiet. "Is that really what it's been like?"

She was past the ability to carry on a conversation. Her body shook from nerves and the sobs she was trying to keep inside. It was all she could do to stand and make a dash for the door. When she opened it, surly enough there were seven eavesdroppers crouched on either side of the hall.

Evangeline turned to Cedric, shaking her head in disbelief before taking off for her old room in the attic. Tora followed immediately behind, and after giving the most disapproving look he'd ever given to his father, Simon went as well.

. . .

While she appreciated Simon and Tora's concern, Evangeline would have preferred a few minutes alone before they came to her aid. Of course, she didn't have the heart to shoo them away, so she kept her tears to a minimum though it was painful to keep it all beneath the surface.

"Did I hear you and Papa saying something about you having a baby?" Tora asked, her head remaining on her stepmother's shoulder since they'd sat down together on the bed when they'd come into the old attic bedroom.

Evangeline sniffed, looking up guiltily at Simon before down at her and Tora's laps. "I never meant for you to find out this way."

"So, it's true then?" Simon questioned.

"Nothing is certain yet, but we suspect as much."

"Why didn't you tell us?" Tora asked.

Wrapping her arm around the girl, feeling slightly calmer, Evangeline answered, "It's so early. There was no point in upsetting you all if we didn't need to."

Sitting up, Tora said, "We wouldn't have been upset."

Evangeline eyed Simon, perhaps the person she feared telling the most over his father.

He shifted his feet, looking up at Evangeline after a moment. "We wouldn't."

"You don't seem too certain of it."

"It's just a little strange to think about. You used to be..." he stopped, realizing the implication of his next words.

But Evangeline finished for him. "Your servant."

"I don't mean it that way," he corrected.

Wiping her eyes, she said, "It's quite all right. It's a bit strange for all of us."

"When will you know for sure?" Tora questioned.

"Couple of months, I suspect."

"But why is Papa so angry about it? He would always be the most excited of all of us when Mama was having a baby."

Simon shot her a look of reproach. "Are you that daft? Don't you remember how Mama died?"

"Of course I do!" Tora sneered. "That doesn't mean Evangeline will." But now that she'd said the words aloud, she turned back to her stepmother with worried eyes. "It doesn't, does it?"

Tucking a couple of loose strands of hair behind Tora's ear, Evangeline said, "I don't plan on it."

"I know why Papa must be worried, but he hasn't lost his temper like that in a long time. And to not stop when he saw he was upsetting you."

Embarrassed, Evangeline said, "I don't think it's only the baby. It's a lot of things all coming out at once."

"What else?" Simon asked. "Because he must be furious about something. He never yelled at Mama that way."

Tora noticed Evangeline biting her lip, her eyes shining. "That's not helpful, Simon."

"It's true," he barked back. "I don't like it."

"And you think Evangeline does?"

"Please," Evangeline begged, "don't argue about this of all things."

Simon paced a moment. He was so much like his father that he even dealt with unrest in the same manner. When he turned back to his stepmother and sister, he said, "It's been nice having him back again. He's been happy. What if he goes back to how he was after Mama died? Before he married you, Evangeline."

Holding her hand out to him, she didn't speak until he accepted. "One outburst doesn't mean any of that."

"You were there," he said. "Don't you remember?"

"Of course I do. It was an unpleasant time for all of us. Your father and I are having a bad night. That doesn't mean it's permanent."

"But what about all those things you said?"

"You said you were miserable," Tora interjected.

"I never said that."

"You sort of did," Simon said.

"Are you really?"

With a sniff, Evangeline answered as strongly as she could, "No, not most days. All I can say is that it's complicated sometimes. It's nothing anyone has done. I don't want you kids to trouble yourselves with it."

"How can we not?" Simon replied with a harsher tone than he intended. "Not after all we heard."

"It's naughty to eavesdrop," she reminded.

"We could hear from our room. We didn't have to."

Trying not to lose her temper with them now, Evangeline took a breath. "Look... I'm sorry you had to hear it all. I'm sorry you had to see me so upset. I wish I had more answers for you right now. The only thing that I can promise is that your father and I will work out our troubles. And above else, I'm sorry you had to find out about the potential sibling this way."

Tora and Simon could do nothing more but nod.

"Are you certain the younger children heard?"

"Maybe," Tora answered, "though I'm not sure Chrissie and Sebastian would fully understand. They might think you were talking about one of us. Aggie certainly wouldn't."

"Would you mind terribly keeping it that way if you can? Let your father and I tell you all at once officially when the time comes? If we're able?"

"What are we supposed to say to Lily and Eric?" Simon asked.

"If they realize, please tell them to keep it to themselves for the time being."

They agreed, however, shared an uncertain look with each other. With seven of them in one room, secrets were not easily kept.

"I think I'd like to rest now," Evangeline said, kissing Tora's head and giving Simon's hand a final squeeze. "Thank you both for looking out for me."

Tora stood. "We love you."

"I love you, too. All of you. I hope you always believe that."

"We will," she assured with a hug. "We're used to little brothers and sisters by now."

Evangeline somewhat managed a smile.

The two kids started to leave, but after Tora was through the door, Simon turned back around, though hesitated to say anything.

"It will be all right, Simon," Evangeline said for him. "Everything."

He gave a slight nod, turning back toward the door and shutting it behind him. When Evangeline no longer heard the descent of their footsteps, she buried her face in her pillow and finally allowed herself to let everything she'd been holding in out.