College: Junior Year

Peter was having a bad day. Actually, he was having a series of bad days and it seemed like it was inevitable it would turn into a bad year. Things started to go south when he busted his knee during summer conditioning. Everyone including his coach thought this would end his sports career, but he was determined to keep his spot on the team. So, after surgery and intense physical therapy, he made it back on the field….sort of. He wasn't the same, his body didn't respond as fast, and he felt disoriented. He still kept pushing, until he injured his knee again. This time he was benched for the rest of the season.

The coach was nice enough to let him still be a part of the team in some way, but sitting on the side, passing out towels and water drove Peter crazy. Lacrosse was supposed to be a constant thing and without it, he didn't feel like himself. In his depression, he stopped trying with a lot of things, especially school. His grades were falling, putting him at risk for probation. He was isolating himself from friends because it seemed like everyone was living their own lives and not thinking about him anyway.

When Peter entered his dorm, as usual his roommate was gone. The guy usually drove home on weekends, which would be nice for Peter except his girlfriend was in school hours away. It seemed as of late, she always had something to do. They used to spend nights facetiming and would text all throughout the day about classes or whatever baking experiment she was working on. Now he could barely get her on the phone; between all the clubs she was in and maintaining her 4.0, she was swamped. He also knew she was having fun at her dream school and her perfect friends. He was bitter and lonely and didn't know how to tell her he needed her.

Before, plopping on his bed he pulled out his cell. He thought he could try to catch Lara Jean before she went out for whatever event she had planned for this weekend. When she didn't answer, twice, he almost threw his phone. She's never around when I need her, he thought.

Before he could pout more, there was a light tap at his door. He groaned getting up and was mildly surprised to see one of his floormates, Monica, at his door. When she saw him, she smiled brightly.

"Hey Pete, whatcha doing tonight?" She said leaning against the door frame.

Monica was a senior and Peter had known her since he first stepped on campus as a freshman. She was tiny, but made her presence known by being involved in any and everything, including freshman orientation. She was his RA for the first two years and was known amongst the students as being "chill"- aka turning the other way when the freshman snuck booze into the dorm and not reporting when they threw up later that night as long as someone cleaned it up before morning. Now she just lived down the hall and since he didn't go to campus parties as of late, he only saw her in passing.

"Hey, Monica…ugh nothing. Just gonna stay in tonight."

She rolled her eyes. "Like every night?" she gave him a gentle shove before saying, "You ok? Haven't been seeing you around much."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm good. Just you know, trying to get over this knee stuff."

"I know injuries can be so rough. You know I was a cheerleader freshman year?"

Peter did know. He, like many others, had stalked her instagram on occasion. "I think you might have mentioned that."

"Yeah when I was a freshman. Broke my ankle and was like fuck this shit!" She laughed and Peter couldn't help but smile at the infectious sound. "But seriously, I know how stuff like this can make you feel down. If you need someone to talk to, you know I got you right?"

Peter raised an eyebrow with a small smirk, "I thought you were done doing the RA thing."

She laughed again, "I am, asshole. Maybe I just actually care not to see you sulking around campus and being a shut in." When he didn't respond, she continued, " Or at least, if you are gonna be a shut in, get some company. Can I come in?"

Monica was the type of girl that people didn't say no to. While Peter was usually one of the rare men who could ignore her charm, this day he didn't have the resolve. Besides, she was right, being a lonely shut in was getting kind of old.

So he let her in and they talked. He learned that she already had a job lined up after graduation at a marketing agency. He found out she was allergic to seafood but would be willing to risk it all for just a tiny piece of crab among other things. More than that, he talked more than he had in months. He talked about his family, lacrosse and how he had been feeling. How even Lara Jean didn't even seem to care. She listened, occasionally placing a soft hand on his thigh or brushing his arm while reassuring him. He began to notice her rosy perfume and how she would flip her hair to one side when she laughed. He noticed that she paid more attention to him than anyone had in a long time, and it made him feel less alone.

"I can't lie Peter, I've always had the biggest crush on you." Monica said looking up at him looking slightly embarrassed.

He tried to laugh it off, "Jock and the cheerleader, huh? A little predictable don't you think?"

"Former cheerleader, thank you. No, but seriously, I see past all that jock stuff. You're more than that."

"Yeah, sure."

"I wish you had more people around you that see what I see, Peter."

As they kept talking, Peter began to feel whatever barriers he had left completely slip away. So when she finally leaned in to kiss him after all the talking was done, he let it happen over and over again.

A little while later

Laura Jean gripped the tupperware that held homemade cookies in her hand and adjusted the strap on her small duffle, overstuffed with more than enough clothes for a long weekend. She had finally reached the right floor of Peter's dorm and was concentrating on finding his room number. She had driven to surprise him over the weekend and couldn't wait to see his face when she arrived.

Driving still wasn't her strong suit, but she had been planning this trek for weeks. She knew Peter had been having a hard time and felt them growing distant. This was the perfect way to smooth things over. She had arrived long after she knew practice ended and had even been able to coordinate getting the key Peter's roommate left at the front desk. She thought about ordering a pizza from the parking lot, but decided against it so they could pick toppings together.

As she approached the door she couldn't help the smile forming on her face. Quickly pushing the key into the knob, she swung open the door, "SURPRISE!"

"What the fuck-" A shirtless peter whipped his head around to the door and froze. "La-Lara Jean?"

Lara Jean stood in the doorway and watched as the brunette beneath Peter covered her breasts and scrambled to grab her clothes.

"Surprise." She whispered, tears began to collect in her lower lid and she bit her lip determined not to let on fall in front of them.

"Lara Jean, I -" He was standing and taking slow steps towards her.

Lara Jean looked from him to the girl on the bed and then around the room.

"I should go." Monica croaked pulling on her shirt and grabbing her cardigan.

"No," Lara Jean said quickly, returning her eyes to Peter. "I'll go." She stepped forward to shove the cookies into his hand before turning swiftly to leave.

"Lara Jean, wait. I am so sorry, I don't -" He grabbed her arm softly but she snatched it quickly.

"Don't." She pointed at him with disgust and hurt in her eyes. "Don't."

Lara Jean usually needed at least 24 hours of recovery time after a road trip, but as soon as she got to her car she set off to get as far from campus as possible. Once she was out of the immediate area she pulled to the side of the road and picked up her phone.

"He did WHAT?" Margo yelled over the phone.

"You let him keep the cookies?" Kitty interjected before being hushed by Margo.

Lara Jean bawled into the phone to her sisters until her head hurt. She wanted to be back at home, but Margo wouldn't allow her to drive.

"I'm sending you money and looking up hotels where you are. You cannot drive like this." Margo said tightly.

"She can barely drive at all," said Kitty.

Ignoring that comment, Margo continued, "I can't believe this asshole. I knew he was a jerk" She said, causing Lara Jean to bawl more. "Don't worry little sister, we are gonna find you a room and order you some room service and it's gonna get better, I promise."

"I can fight him. I'll just go right for the knee!" Kitty said

Lara Jean's phone beeped for what seemed like the millionth time. "He's calling again. He keeps calling. What do I do?" Lara Jean squeaked.

"Block him. What is there left to say after what you walked in on?" Margo said.

"How could he do this? I mean if he didn't want me, if I wasn't enough -"

Margo cut in, "No, no Lara Jean. You are not gonna do this. You can cry and you can be sad, but you will not talk bad about yourself. Peter did this, not you."

Lara Jean sighed and pressed her head against the steering wheel. When the phone beeped again she snatched it from the car charger and blocked Peter before deleting all his messages.

Margo was right, what could be said to fix this?

—-

Wow, it's been a while. For those that are still here, hope you enjoy this flashback chapter. I really had fun writing this, so hopefully the next one will come sooner.

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