Rey sighed happily after finishing her third piece of pizza. Nothing beat a deep-dish pizza with spicy Italian sausage on a cold winter's night...unless it was her company. She peeked up through lowered lashes at her dinner companion. He was so attractive in his gray suit jacket over a burgundy sweater paired with camel-colored slacks. Why, oh why, was he taken, and by her witch of a boss of all people! Life could be awfully unfair, she mused ruefully. She'd created his perfect Christmas and Bazine got all the credit and kisses.
"…don't usually get to eat much pizza. Everyone feels it's necessary to woo me with expensive food to get sponsored. Do you know how hard it is to appear pleased while eating umi? Just once I'd love a person to offer me pizza and beer, or maybe even a grilled cheese sandwich," he grinned. "All that warm gooey cheese. The stringier, the better in my book."
Rey laughed quietly, wiping her mouth with a napkin.
"Now that's something I can get behind. Can I tell you a secret?" she whispered, leaning in.
"Go ahead."
"I still like mine dipped in ketchup."
Ben feigned shock. "Say it isn't so, Miss Johnson. How gauche!"
Rey's replying laughter turned a head or two nearby curiously. Wiping the tears from her eyes she said, "I've told you my deep dark secret, now," she said putting her elbows on the table and leaning forward, "you have to share one of yours or I'll never be able to face myself in the mirror again."
Ben hummed for a moment and eyed her speculatively. He must have seen something in her expression because he seemed to come to a decision, and leaned down, retrieving something from his discarded coat pocket.
"I bought this in Milan last month," he said, opening the hinged lid of a small blue box. Inside, on a bed of white satin, winked a veritable Eye of Sauron, one of the largest diamonds Rey had ever seen, and she'd seen a few in her line of work. Every facet of the brilliant gem screamed wealth. "I am going to ask Baz to marry me."
For a second time that day, Rey's heart dropped to the floor, through it even, if that was possible. Her blood pounded in her ears and she was sure she was growing a bit pale. Under the table, she pinched her arm. Please, be a bad dream!" she silently pleaded the universe. But it wasn't, and the diamond continued to mock her from its little bed.
Realizing that she had been quiet for too long, she put on her generic, people-pleasing smile. "Congratulations, that's wonderful! Ms. Netal will be so excited. She was hoping you'd propose."
"Ah," Ben responded, turning the box to look at its' contents again. "I take it she's spoken of it at the office?" he grimaced.
Rey nodded her head. "Girl talk…"
"I guess I can't blame her. We've been dating for a while. I just- I wasn't sure. I mean, I was sure when I saw this in the jeweler's, but then when I came home and we couldn't agree on how to spend the holidays, let alone one evening together, I thought maybe I was doing the wrong thing. And then my knots and flutters got all mixed up…" he sighed.
Rey was the confused one now. "Knots and flutters?"
"That was my old friend Charles speaking. He called them that. I uh, I had an unexpected flutter, and was feeling conflicted so I talked with him," he confided.
Rey's heart leapt up to her throat just as quickly as it had fallen. "You felt a flutter?"
Ben crossed his arms and leaned back in the booth. "Yeah," he said, guiltily, "and it wasn't with Bazine. But that's all cleared up now."
"It is?" she asked, her voice small.
"Well yeah. Her design shows me that she's been listening all this time. It's so obvious how much she cares. I wasn't seeing it clearly."
His companion shifted slightly in her seat.
"So it was the design…that convinced you?"
"Yes. Absolutely," he said, glancing at his watch, "Oh, look at the time! I better be getting back home. Can I get you anything else?" he asked, tucking Bazine's ring safely back in his jacket pocket.
Rey shook her head no, unable to speak while concealing the misery she felt inside. This was all her fault.
Rey and Ben walked down the cobblestone streets of old town on their way to the car park, admiring the lights and the shop windows. She was wrapped up in her confusion, both emotionally and ethically after his disclosure, but seemed to be doing a good job of hiding it. Ben hadn't stopped talking since they'd left the pizzeria. If she hadn't been so distracted she might have taken a moment to admire the breadth of his shoulders encased in his charcoal gray wool jacket. As it was, it took too much effort to focus on keeping her spirits up.
They turned a corner near city park and Ben spied a horse drawn carriage standing idly by the curb ahead, waiting for its next customers.
He nodded his head towards the vehicle, drawing Rey's attention to it. "That reminds me of the sleigh in Baz's design. Such a romantic gesture. Maybe I should propose in one?"
"Oh, yeah it is romantic, but I don't think it's really her thing. I think she'd rather have something more over the top; more public."
"Oh, I don't know. I would have thought so too, but not now. How about we take a drive? Just for an experiment. If you still don't think she'll like it afterward, say so," Ben asked, dimples peeking out.
Damn. "Fair enough," she agreed, taking his hand and stepping up into the carriage.
Rey sat quietly waiting while Ben settled with the driver. Inwardly she continued to wail. What will Ms. Netal think of all of this when she gets home? Will she view dinner and this ride as the platonic evening with a friend it was (no matter how much Rey wished it wasn't) or would she become jealous and begin to see her as a rival for Ben's attention. She shivered as a stiff breeze blew the cold through her woolen coat. It was never a safe place to be on Ms. Netal's bad side.
"May I?" Ben asked as he sat down beside her holding up a knit blanket.
"Yes, thank you. It is a bit chilly out," Rey replied, lifting her arms to allow him to tuck the blanket across her lap. He smiled in kind to her thanks.
The carriage driver gave the command to the horses and with a small lurch the vehicle started moving. Rey was enchanted. She'd never been in a carriage before. At their sedate pace it swayed gently, occasionally causing their knees or shoulders to bump into each other (which under other circumstances she'd find thrilling). Rey ran her gloved hand along the ruby velvet-lined seats, admiring the contrast of color with the white of the carriage body. There had been obvious care taken to keep it maintained.
The clippity-clop of the horses hooves became the undercurrent of the city sounds and the ringing bells on the harnesses added to its ambience. All that was missing to make this truly romantic was snow, she decided, glancing up at the clear night sky. Too bad, she mused, and then recollected that Ben was not single and she needed to forget him...like he's apparently forgotten me, she sighed.
As the ride wound along the edges of the park, her spirits lifted. Christmas was truly her favorite time of year and she was charmed by the lights twinkling in the trees lining the road and the sight of the ice skaters on the outdoor rink in the park. Every so often they could hear the carols playing at the rink upon the breeze. Rey side-eyed her companion and smiled softly at his apparent delight. He looked happy. When his eyes started shifting her direction, she quickly looked away. It wouldn't do to get caught mooning over her boss's almost-fiance.
Ben watched the city lights softly glowing on Rey's cheeks and wondered if she had someone at home who appreciated her joy at this time of year. He pondered what she'd said about Baz wanting a more public proposal and felt a small ripple of concern. He'd never thought about getting engaged before a bunch of acquaintances. Maybe if his family or hers was still around he'd feel differently, but wasn't it supposed to be a moment between just the two of them first; personal? Rey seemed like an honest person, so she obviously hadn't lied when she made the remark. She'd seemed concerned actually. But if she was right, then did it follow that his original worry over his lack of connection with Baz was still a problem? He was placing all his confidence in those designs being a sign of her affection for him, but what if? Rey had neither confirmed nor denied whether the designs were her original ones when he'd asked earlier in the week, or if she had simply drawn what Bazine had created first on design boards. He couldn't ask Baz outright either. She'd be wounded by it if they were her own designs, seeing it as a lack of trust on his part, and it'd throw off all of his hopes for their future. Surreptitiously he rubbed a hand over his stomach. Knots again, he sighed. What was he going to do? It had all seemed so clear an hour ago.
Unconcerned by the troubles of their passengers, the horses walked steadily on through the night, thinking only of the warm stalls and fresh oats that awaited them.
Rey lay on her couch at home, staring at her Christmas tree, though not really seeing it when her roommates returned home from Nutcracker rehearsals. At first, neither Rose nor Kay noticed the still lump on the sofa. But once they'd taken off their jackets and turned on the lights, they had seen her. Kaydel crossed the room hurriedly when her greeting went unanswered. She was concerned to see tear tracks and puffy eyes on her friend's face. Kneeling down beside Rey, she gently wiped away the remaining tears, startling Rey out of her reverie.
"What's happened to make our sunshine dim? It can't be the end of the world already?" Kay asked in a hushed voice.
Rey sniffed and wiped her eyes with her hands as she sat up. "He- uhm, Ben, he's going to propose to Ms. Netal and it's all my fault," she squeaked out hoarsely as fresh tears began to fall.
Mirrored looks of confusion crossed Kay and Rose's faces.
"How is that your fault!? It's not like you played matchmaker. They've been dating a long time I thought?" Rose said, passing a Kleenex to Rey.
Rey blew her nose noisily. What good were manners anyway? "Well, after I finished decorating his house tonight, he offered to buy me dinner and then he showed me the ring and, and everything, and I just wanna die!" she exclaimed, throwing herself back down on the couch and hiding under her blanket.
Kay tugged the blanket off until her roommate's face appeared. "That still doesn't explain why it's all your fault," she said using air quotes.
"Apparently he had started to teeter totter on his decision, but- but… but then me and my big ideas convinced him that Bazine actually knew his heart and so…" she said, rising from the couch, "I lose," she said with a hapless shrug.
When Kay and Rose continued in stunned silence she added, "And what's worse is that he told me he'd felt a flutter recently with someone else. That's why he had been unsure. Bazine doesn't deserve him, she doesn't even try to understand him. He's a trophy for her and he will be miserable."
Rose and Kay stood as one and gathered their friend into a group hug. They murmured words of love and encouragement in her ears and rubbed her back. After a few minutes, Rey's tears abated and they led her back to the couch, Rose going to the kitchen to make her a cuppa tea.
"Don't you think it's time to tell him now, ReyBee. You can't let him marry her under false pretenses," Kay said, tucking Rey's hair behind her ear.
"I don't know," Rey muttered morosely. "What if I'm wrong? Maybe she is the one, he obviously thinks she is. He's got a ring so he must have been sure. Can I make the decision to interfere based on a silly flutter?"
"But it's more than that," Rose said, handing her a cup of steaming jasmine tea. "You know for a fact he's basing some of his decision on those designs being hers. And what about the fact that she told you how she maneuvered into his life?! She's totally playing him."
"Yeah, but if I tell him all this, it'll boil down to my word versus hers, and she's definitely got the upper hand. Maybe he'll just be flattered that she went through all the trouble to catch his eye. Some guys like that."
"Don't you think he'd want to know that she lied about the designs?"
Rey shrugged her shoulder. "He might, but technically I work for her so anything I create is either done at her behest or with her oversight. And again, it's my word versus hers, and trust me, she will make me pay for going against her. Besides, I don't think it'll do me any good. What if he just gets angry I didn't speak up earlier or tell him the truth about our kiss? I've had plenty of opportunities to come clean. What if he gets mad and doesn't want to be my friend anymore?"
Kay rolled her eyes and rubbed her forehead. "Those are all worst-case scenarios, girl. You're just making excuses."
"You really are, honey," Rose chimed in. "What if something wonderful happens instead?"
Rey tucked her legs up into her chest and hugged herself. "Let's face it. I'm a chicken. Miss Mouse wins the day once again. If that flutter had really meant something to him, he wouldn't be proposing to her. I just need to forget about that kiss and move on."
Her friends snorted in response and rolled their eyes.
"Sure you will, and I'm marrying Santa Claus on Christmas Eve. Be my brides-elf?" Kay retorted.
"Don't give up hope. It ain't over till the ring's on her cold, manicured hand," Rose said. "Besides, it's Christmas, believe in that magic you're always talking about!"
Across town, in his lonely bed, Ben lay staring up at the ceiling as the hall clock struck one a.m. He hadn't been able to rid himself of the knots in his stomach, even after returning home and doing busy work in his office for several hours followed by a jog around the neighborhood. He'd thought about calling his Uncle Charles, but not before it'd felt too late to call. Worries danced in his head like sugarplums, not sweet but sour. He no longer knew if he wanted to propose. Was Bazine who he thought she was, or was she hiding her true self as Rey seemed to imply this evening. He found himself missing his mother, wishing he could talk to her. What would she think of the girl he was considering marrying? His mother had always had an independent streak and was never afraid to speak her mind, but she was also a good listener and had taught him to be considerate of others. Something deep down told him she wouldn't like Bazine very much. Though she was independent and hardworking, she always seemed to be making the decisions for them and she infinitely preferred the social whirl to quiet nights at home.
And then there was the girl in the elevator. He couldn't recall her face clearly, it had all happened so quickly, he could remember the glitter but not the color of her eyes. He knew her hair was some shade of brown, but honestly, he hadn't been paying attention once her lips had hit his. Oh, he remembered her kiss and the flutter it caused, and he wished he knew if it was the unexpectedness of the moment or the woman he had kissed that caused it. Her lips had been warm and seeking, not demanding and hard like Baz's often were.
Ben rolled over on his side, punching his pillow a few times and watched the Christmas lights flickering outside his window. Then there was Rey. He didn't know why they'd never met before; she'd worked for Baz for several years now but their paths had never crossed. A twist of fate, he guessed. She made him feel like a normal human being, not a bank account to schmooze or show off. When they spent time together, he couldn't deny now the pull he felt towards her. He enjoyed being around her and that was a problem. If his heart was wholeheartedly Bazine's, why did it skip a beat knowing he'd see Rey tomorrow?
Ben watched his clock wearily as the minutes turned hours and sleep continued to elude him, a thief in the night. Just before dawn, he came to a decision and sat up, pushing the sheets off of himself and coming to sit on the edge of his bed. He reached into the nightstand and retrieved his cell phone, he briefly searched for the number of the jeweler in Milan, and left a message when he reached voicemail;
"Hello, this is Benjamin Solo from the US. I purchased a ring at your store last month and I'd like to discuss the return policy on the item. Please give me a call at your earliest convenience. Thank you, goodbye."
That done, he replaced the phone on the nightstand and rolled over, falling easily to sleep, his conscience no longer burdened and hope beginning to shine like the rising sun outside his window.
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A/N: What do you think will happen next?! I'm so excited to be nearing the ending of this Christmas story and letting them live HEA. Chapter Ten is in the works, and I'm planning on Eleven chapters with a possible Epilogue.
