Chapter 21: Patronus
Classes started again one cold January morning. It was Defense Against the Dark Arts that Harry was keen to get to, he wanted to get started on his antidementor lessons as soon as possible.
"Eight o'clock," Willow said when Harry reminded her and Dawn at the end of class, "on Thursday evening?"
"The History of Magic classroom should be large enough…" Dawn added.
"Hmm," Willow said to Dawn. "We can't bring a real dementor into the castle to practice on…"
"I know," Dawn sighed. "A boggart might work if I can find one, it would be the nearest we'd get to a real dementor. I'll see if Remus knows where one is, when I ask him if we can use his classroom."
"Good idea," Willow agreed.
At eight o'clock on Thursday evening, Harry entered the History of Magic classroom to find Willow waiting. "Where's Aunt Dawn," he asked.
"Behind you," Dawn said as she entered the classroom carrying a large packing crate, which she heaved onto Lupin's desk.
"What's that?" said Harry.
"The boggart," said Dawn. "Found this one lurking inside Filch's filing cabinet." She looked at her nephew. "The boggart will turn into a dementor when he sees you, so we'll be able to practice on him. Willow and I can store him in our office when we're not using him; there's a cupboard under our desk he'll like."
"Okay," said Harry, trying to sound as though he wasn't apprehensive.
"You ready?" Dawn asked as Harry nodded. "From what Remus told me when I explained why I needed to find another boggard, this is going to more advanced than what you're learning in classes at the moment. It's called the Patronus Charm."
"How does it work?" said Harry nervously.
"Well, when it works correctly, it conjures up a Patronus," said Willow, "which is a kind of anti-dementor—a guardian that acts as a shield between you and the dementor."
Harry had a sudden vision of himself crouching behind a Hagrid-sized figure holding a large club.
"The Patronus is a kind of positive force, a projection of the very things that the dementor feeds upon—hope, happiness, the desire to survive—but it cannot feel despair, as real humans can, so the dementors can't hurt it," Dawn said. "That said Remus told me that this could be too advanced for you. I told him hogwash of course. That you are the nephew of the two most powerful wiccan witches in the world. That while you might have difficulty in the beginning you would get in time."
"What does a Patronus look like?" said Harry curiously.
"Each one is unique to the wizard who conjures it," Willow said.
"And how do you conjure it?"
"With an incantation," Dawn said, "which will work only if you are concentrating, with all your might, on a single, very happy memory. Mine is the day that Willow and I shared our first kiss."
"No offense of course to Dawn and I know she would expect no less," Willow said as Dawn nodded. "Mine is of Tara."
"Right," Harry said.
"The incantation is this—" Dawn cleared her throat. "Expecto patronum!"
"Expecto patronum," Harry repeated under his breath, "expecto patronum."
"Concentrating hard on your happy memory?" Willow asked.
"Oh—yeah—" said Harry, quickly. "Expecto patrono—no, patronum—sorry—expect patronum, expecto patronum—"
Something whooshed suddenly out of the end of his wand; it looked like a wisp of silvery gas.
"Did you see that?" said Harry excitedly. "Something happened!"
"Very good," said Willow, smiling. "Ready to try it on a dementor?"
"Yes," Harry said, gripping his wand very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom.
Willow made a motion and the packing crate opened. A dementor rose slowly from the box, its hooded face turned toward Harry, one glistening, scabbed hand gripping its cloak. The lamps around the classroom flickered and went out. The dementor stepped from the box and started to sweep silently toward Harry, drawing a deep, rattling breath.
"Expecto patronum!" Harry yelled. "Expecto patronum! Expecto—" He slowly slid to the floor.
"Riddikkulus," Dawn yelled and the dementor fled back into the crate.
"Sorry," Harry muttered, sitting up when he awoke moments later.
"Are you all right?" said Willow with a touch of concern.
"Yes…" Harry pulled himself up on one of the desks and leaned against it.
"Here—" Dawn handed him a Chocolate Frog. "Eat this before we try again."
"It's getting worse," Harry muttered, biting off the Frog's head. "I could hear her louder that time—and him—Voldemort—"
Dawn and Harry noticed that Willow paled.
"You okay to continue?" Dawn asked more to her wife than her nephew.
Willow nodded. "Yes."
"I want to!" said Harry fiercely, stuffing the rest of the Chocolate Frog into his mouth. "I've got to! What if the dementors turn up at our match against Ravenclaw? I can't afford to fall off again. If we lose this game we've lost the Quidditch Cup!"
"All right," Dawn said. "You might want to select another memory, a happy memory, I mean, to concentrate on… That one doesn't seem to have been strong enough…"
Harry gripped his wand tightly again and took up his position in the middle of the classroom after a moments hesitation.
"Ready?" said Willow.
"Ready," said Harry.
"Go!" said Willow as she once again motioned toward the box as the lid opened. The room went icily cold and dark once more. The dementor glided forward, drawing its breath; one rotting hand was extending toward Harry—
"Expecto patronum!" Harry yelled. "Expecto patronum! Expecto pat—" And just like before Harry slid to the floor.
"Riddikkulus," Willow shouted and it again fled back into the box.
Dawn gently shook Harry. "You okay?" she asked.
"I heard my dad," Harry mumbled. "That's the first time I've ever heard him—he tried to take on Voldemort himself, to give my mum time to run for it…"
Willow let out a sigh. "Maybe we should call it quits for today?" she suggested. She didn't like that her nephew was hearing his parents final moments every time a dementor appeared.
"No!" said Harry. He got up again. "Please Aunt Willow, I want to have one more go! I'm not thinking of happy enough things, that's what it is… Hang on…"
He racked his brains. A really, really happy memory… one that he could turn into a good, strong Patronus… And that was when he realized he had been going about this all wrong. He had been searching for a specific time when he had been the happiest he could remember. The first time he left the Dursley's for Hogwarts, the first time he caught the snitch, the day he had met Willow and Dawn. But it wasn't so much a specific time that made him smile the most, it was the people around. His friends Ron and Hermoine. It family, both those by blood and choice; Willow, Dawn, Buffy, Xander, Faith, Giles and Anya. It was the people that loved him unconditionally.
"I have it," he told them.
"Ready?" said Willow, who looked as though she were doing this against her better judgment. "Concentrating hard? All right—go!"
Willow made a motion and the lid of the case opened for a third time, and the dementor rose out of it; the room fell cold and dark—
"EXPECTO PATRONUM!" Harry bellowed. "EXPECTO PATRONUM! EXPECTO PATRONUM!"
The dementor halted and a huge, silver shadow came bursting out of the end of Harry's wand, to hover between him and the dementor.
"Riddikulus!" Dawn yelled, springing forward and the dementor flew back into the crate. She spun on Harry and smiled. "Very good, Harry. You alright?"
Harry nodded. "I'm fine, Aunt Dawn. Can we have another go? Just one more go?"
"No," said Willow firmly. "You've had enough for one night."
Dawn handed handed Harry a large bar of Honeydukes' best chocolate. "Eat it all, or Madam Pomfrey will be after my blood. Same time next week?"
"Okay," said Harry. He took a bite of the chocolate. "Aunt Willow?"
Willow smiled. "You did good, Harry. What was the memory you chose?"
"It wasn't really a memory persay," Harry said. "It was the people. It was Ron and Hermoine. It was Aunt Buffy and Aunt Faith. Uncle Giles, Uncle Xander and Aunt Anya. It was you, Aunt Willow, and you, Aunt Dawn."
"True memories," Dawn said, "are what we make them. Yes, they typically are what we remember. But they are other things as well, such as the people in our lives. And this is coming from someone who has multiple sets of memories. You did good, Harry."
0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0
Ravenclaw played Slytherin a week after the start of term. Slytherin won, though narrowly. Which meant if Gryffindor could beat Ravenclaw they would be in second place. So, Gryffindor team practices were increased to five a week. This meant that Harry was usually exhausted when he came for his anti-dementor lessons.
January faded imperceptibly into February, with no change in the bitterly cold weather. To top things off the anti-dementor lessons were not going nearly as well as either Dawn or Willow had hoped. Several sessions on, Harry was able to produce only an indistinct, silvery shadow every time the boggart-dementor approached him, but his Patronus was too feeble to drive the dementor away.
"You're expecting too much of yourself," said Dawn sternly in their fourth week of practice. "For someone your age, even an indistinct Patronus is a huge achievement. You aren't passing out anymore, are you?"
"I thought a Patronus would—charge the dementors down or something," said Harry dispiritedly. "Make them disappear—"
"A true Patronus does do that," said Willow. "But you've achieved a great deal in a very short space of time. If the dementors put in an appearance at your next Quidditch match, you will be able to keep them at bay long enough to get back to the ground."
"You said it's harder if there are loads of them," said Harry.
"We have complete confidence in you," said Dawn, smiling. "Here—you've earned a drink—something from the Three Broomsticks."
Dawn made a motion and three bottles appeared on the desk before them.
"Butterbeer!" said Harry who grabbed one of the bottles.
They drank the butterbeer in silence, until Harry voiced something he'd been wondering for a while.
"What's under a dementor's hood?"
"I don't know," Dawn said with a sigh. "As a Slayer I wish I did. Though from what I understand they are amongst the worst of the demonic races. Their kiss, will destroy your soul from what I have been told."
"What—they kill—?" asked Harry shocked.
"From what I've been told, no," Dawn said. "You continue to live, but you are an empty shell with no memory of who you are. According to the Daily Prophet, it's what awaits Sirius Black if he is caught.
"He deserves it," Harry said.
"No one ever deserves that," Willow said. "I am all for corporal punishment in the right circumstances. But that is just inhumane treatment. No one should have to live like that."
"I have to agree with Willow," Dawn said. "No one deserves that. We know he had a part in killing Lily and James and he deserves to be punished for it. But not that."
