Olivia's breath hitched a little when Stabler entered the bar with his Sergeant. Even after all these years, his presence in a room still made her shiver. It didn't take him much time to find her in the busy bar. His eyes met hers and he nodded acknowledging their group.
The gang had decided to get a drink after a big case. Organized Crime had helped in the final intervention to get the bad guy. And it was Thursday, so someone had suggested they go out to celebrate. The SVU squad had taken over two of the small tables. Bell and Stabler joined them.
"Hey guys." Bell said, taking an empty space on Carisi's side. Elliot took the other available chair, across from Olivia.
"Hey." Elliot said looking at Liv.
She smiled. "Nice of you to join us."
"Couldn't pass up the opportunity to celebrate yet another closed case in collaboration with SVU."
He certainly wouldn't admit that it gave him a chance to see Liv outside of work. They were still working on that friendship balance they had talked about before Christmas, and any chance he got to spend time with his friend Olivia, he took. Plus, this was an informal setting, which meant she would be more relaxed. A perfect occasion to work on their friendship.
"Yeah I got a call this morning about that." Bell added. "Something about how since we've been working with SVU, both our closing rate has improved."
People laughed at that.
"Well, that's the Benson-Stabler effect." Fin stated, putting the beer he had just gotten in front of Elliot and sitting in his chair.
At the frowning faces in front of him, he continued.
"The closing rate was never higher than when Benson and Stabler were together at the 1-6. That's mostly why Cragen never broke them off, even though they were driving him crazy at times."
Some of them smiled, but Elliot and Olivia looked at each other. Mixed emotions passed between them; nostalgia, regret, longing.
"The Captain has the numbers, right?" Fin pushed.
Olivia broke eye contact with Elliot and cleared her throat.
"The closing rate at SVU is great and we're going a really good job." The boss in her didn't want to diminish her squad's work.
"But?" Amanda spoke, curious.
Liv shrugged shyly, looking at Elliot again.
"It's true. We still have the record of closing rate for cases."
Stabler smiled proudly. Olivia swore she even saw a cocky grin starting to form on his lips before he caught himself.
"Well, I'm just glad my bosses are happy." Bell concluded.
People nodded and continued with their conversations.
Elliot was enjoying himself, feeling a little bit like a part of SVU again. He and Olivia exchanged glances throughout the evening. It was a light ambiance, which felt like fresh air after the last few months. As people got up to get drinks from the bar, people shifted chairs and Elliot took the opportunity to take the seat to Olivia's left side as he brought her a new glass of wine. He hoped it seemed that he just brought her a drink, as a friend. But deep down, it felt right to take care of her and to make sure she got what she needed, what she deserved. Olivia smiled her thanks and continued talking with Amanda.
Everyone was having a good time, and a few drinks. He didn't know how or when but the conversation shifted towards him and his notorious temperament.
"I'm telling you, Olivia, after dealing with him the last few months, making sure he didn't overstep a line or got carried away in an interrogation, I cannot believe you did that for 12 years." Bell joked.
"And yet, Ayanna, he's really toned it down now!" Fin added. "Stabler was a hot-tempered cop and Liv was the only one able of steering him in the right direction or defusing him."
Elliot stayed silent and calm, letting people tease him. Olivia was silent as well and had a small smile on her lips.
"Well, I saw it first hand the night you came back, I never saw Liv so solid in front of someone clearly wanting to go into an interrogation room." Carisi added, hopeful that the mention of the night of Kathy's murder wasn't a mistake.
Both Elliot and Olivia shifted slightly. If only you knew how much *not* solid I was that night… Olivia thought.
"What can I say, Olivia's a saint." Stabler spoke at last, making sure there was no tension in the air after Carisi's comment. "I said so to Cragen, too, back in the days."
"Really? When?" Olivia was curious.
"When you left for computer crimes I think. I kept bumping head with partners and Cragen asked me how you put up with me for so long. I just said that you were a Saint." He shrugged.
Olivia just looked at him, her mind going to that specific period in their partnership.
"Damn right! Then, and now." Fin said, sending a warning look at Stabler.
Elliot got the message. Liv was a Saint for putting up with him then, but also for letting him near her again now. He knew that. Fin was telling him not to screw it up. Amanda raised her glass.
"To Saint Olivia!" Everyone laughed and brought their glasses together.
Olivia shook her head, smiling.
"Guys, enough with the strokefest. Anyone can handle Stabler, as long as they know him."
"Alright, I'm not *that* difficult!" Elliot had to defend himself at some point.
"You're easier now." Olivia teased him.
He puffed and faked being hurt by her comment. She sent him a complicit smile and got up to refresh her drink. She nodded towards his almost empty beer and he lightly nodded back. She made her way to the bar. Friends getting each others drink, that was all it was. The silent exchanged didn't get lost on the other people at the table though. Amanda started another story and the Stabler-topic was finally dropped.
Olivia waited at the bar contently. This was a great night, for the team but also for Elliot and her. It almost felt like old times. Almost. The lightness of the conversations, the teasing between them, the sense of belonging she felt with her squad, it all made her feel so good. Maybe things would fall back where they are supposed to and she and Elliot could find their friendship again.
A hand on back brought her out of her thoughts. She didn't recognize the touch, neither who it was from.
"Can I offer you that drink?" a handsome man asked, pointing to the beer in front of her.
She looked startled for a moment.
"Oh, hum, actually that's not my drink, it's for…my friend."
The waiter put her glass of wine beside the beer.
"I can get both drinks if you'd like." He offered.
He seemed like a genuinely good guy, flirty and touchy, but overall non-threatening. He was good looking, especially in that suit.
"That's okay." She gently refused and put the money on the bar.
"You're here with your friends, I take it?" he was confident.
"Colleagues and friends."
"What do you do?" he tried to start a conversation.
"I'm a cop."
She always found it gave her a lot of information about a guy when she told them that. He didn't flinch, which she liked.
"Wow, that must be…overwhelming at times."
She laughed, he seemed proud of himself.
"I'm in banking. Boring."
She smiled again.
She really wanted to go back to the group. She didn't dare look towards the table because she just *knew* Elliot's eyes were on her right now.
"Well, I won't keep you from your group." He replied politely. "Listen, I know it's kinda out of the blue, but you just seem to be a really good catch. Would you be interested in getting a drink some time?"
Olivia hesitated. It wasn't that the guy didn't interest her, but all she could think about was the strong pull to Elliot she felt all evening. It hit her hard in that moment.
"I can't."
The guy seemed disappointed.
"Silly me, of course you already have someone." He tried to repair his ego with humour.
Olivia smiled again.
"I don't, actually." She took a moment. "But I'm not available either." She settled for.
He seemed to understand.
"I get it. Well, it was worth a try. If you ever change your mind, here's my card." He gave her the piece of paper and let her walk away.
Walking back towards the table, Olivia wasn't sure what had just happened. She and Elliot were working on their friendship. For now. Is that what had stopped her? The later phase? Was she putting her dating life on hold in case something more happened with Elliot eventually? Of course, if she'd really listen to herself, she wouldn't be so surprised by this. But she had been so focussed by not letting Elliot come too close or affect her too much. She couldn't think about the future with him, not now.
Arriving at her seat, she put the beer down in front of Elliot and sat down. She was still in her thoughts, so when he spoke quietly it startled her.
"Making new friends at the bar?"
Of course he'd mention it. Looking at his face, she noticed how much he was trying to sound friendly, and not jealous. Back when they were partners, he wouldn't have hidden his jealous comments (which she always attributed to protectiveness). But today, with everything that happened and was said between them, he couldn't go back to his smart comments like before. Even though they were trying to build back their friendship, situations like this reminded her that maybe they wouldn't be able to go back exactly to how it was.
She smiled, gently threw the card in the middle of the table, clearly showing him that she wasn't going to keep it.
"What can I say, people want to be my friend." They both knew that's not what she meant by friend.
"Undoubtedly." He simply said.
His eyes were intense though, so he clearly wanted to say something else, but refrained from it. Fin cleared his throat and got them out of their silent conversation.
Elliot sensed when Liv was about to announce her exit before she expressed it out loud. He kept track of her glass and timed it with his.
"Well, that's my cue guys." She spoke, putting her empty glass on the table.
Elliot took his chance and leaned towards her to speak softly.
"You need a ride?"
Olivia wasn't surprised by his offer, nor by his timing. Friends gave each others lifts, right? She pondered for a moment.
"My car is at the station, I rode with Fin here."
Elliot was happy she was accepting, even though he would have preferred to get her home safely.
"No problem." He agreed.
Olivia turned back to the table of attentive guests.
"Thank you guys so much for this week. I appreciated the effort each and everyone made. It got the result we wanted." She said to the squad.
Everyone replied kindly something to the effect of "no problem Captain". She rose from her chair and Elliot was ready with her coat opened. She let him put it on her fluently and waited for him to do the same with his coat.
"See ya guys, this was fun." Stabler said. "Ayanna, I'll see you tomorrow."
"Don't stay out too late, Stabler." Bell teased.
Neither of them replied. They started walking towards the door in sync, Elliot just enough behind Olivia to let her lead the way but still be at her side, as a partner. He opened the door for her and let her go through, his arm behind her back, not touching but close enough for her to feel the protectiveness of his action.
The detectives at the table looked at them in silence. Ayanna said something about going to the bathroom. Amanda was the first to speak after the duo exited the bar.
"Should we say something to Liv?"
Clearly she wasn't the only one thinking that she was dangerously letting Stabler back in her life. They didn't want her to be hurt again and they didn't trust Elliot enough right now.
"She's a big girl, Amanda." Fin answered.
"But she's got partner-blinds on, Fin. Stabler is just waltzing back her life and she's letting him. I just wish she'd put walls up a little bit to protect herself."
Fin smiled at that.
"This is her having walls around Stabler, Amanda."
"What?"
"Liv's got her walls up, trust me. She's setting boundaries with him and he's tiptoeing around it."
The rest of the gang didn't believe him.
"She's letting him buy her drinks, she's buying him drinks, she lets him take her to her car, she even lets him walk close to her, just like partners. I don't see that as walls, Fin." Amanda argued.
Fin smiled yet again and shook his head.
"You don't get it. I've known the Olivia from the Benson-Stabler era. Back then, there were no walls, no personal bubble. They were in a bubble themselves. I mean, her letting him buy drinks, that's nothing. They used to order whatever they would want to drink before the other would *show up* at the bar. Then, they would be in conversation with themselves all evening, just by glances and looks. Sure, there were conversing with us too, but they were having another conversation together. That guy that talked to Liv at the bar earlier? Stabler would have been in his face 30 sec after it happened then. Tonight, he watched and kept it together because he knew she wouldn't want him to intervene. And don't get me started on giving rides to each other, they didn't even need to ask before, it was a given. Now, Stabler asked, she thought about it and accepted, but only to the station. She has walls up, and he knows he needs to make amends to gain back her trust." Fin finished with a sip of his beer.
Everyone looked at him in awe. Maybe they didn't know their Olivia like they thought.
Once at his car, Elliot opened the passenger's door for Olivia to get in. Friends open doors for each other, she convinced herself. Before closing it, Elliot leaned on the door.
"Liv, I didn't want to push in the bar, but I'd feel a lot better if I could drop you off at home tonight." He tentatively asked.
She was torn by his request. She knew he was trying to respect the boundary she had set for this, but at the same time, she knew it was coming from a protective place.
"I can get you in the morning and drop you off at work. Please." He continued with his plan.
Olivia took the time to think about it. It felt nice to have someone looking out for her, even though she would say it was unnecessary. She also appreciated Elliot's effort to be her friend, her partner. And to top it off it was hard saying no to his pleading eyes.
"Get in the car, Elliot." She answered softly.
He took that as an opening. He closed her door and made his way around the car. Once inside, he waited for her decision. She was looking ahead, pensive. Still torn about it, she gave him another piece of information.
"I promised Noah I'd drive him to school in the morning."
Elliot felt disappointed for a moment, but he understood why she wanted to get her car. And he damned himself for not considering Noah his is selfish request.
"Okay, I understand."
He started the car and pulled into the street. He was surprised when he heard her speak again.
"Is 6:30 too early for you?"
He glanced at her, she was looking back at him, apprehensive. She was letting one wall down tonight by letting him drive her home. And another wall tomorrow morning by asking him to drive her son to school. She was taking a chance to let him in. And he was grateful for it.
"It's great. I'll be there." He said, taking this very seriously.
"Okay. Then take me home." She spoke softly.
The rest of the drive was spent mostly in comfortable silence. Olivia felt nervous but happy to take this step with him. He was really trying the last couple of weeks and she felt this was the next step they needed to take.
Elliot pulled in front of her building and put the car in park, not killing the engine. Olivia undid her seatbelt and reiterated her invitation.
"We'll see you tomorrow?"
"I'll be here." He promised.
She went for the door but he stopped her.
"Liv-"
She turned.
"Thank you." He said sincerely. This was a big step for them. She was letting him be there for her, take care of her and her son. Elliot knew he couldn't screw this up. She smiled and got out of the car. When she turned to him, his expression stopped her from closing the door. He wanted to ask something else of her, she knew. She waited for him.
"Is it too much to ask for a text when you get home?"
Something twitched inside of her.
"Elliot…" I'm fine. I'm a big girl. I don't need protection. She wanted to say but didn't.
"Think of it as a modern "blink your lights"?" he tried to lighten the atmosphere. Friends did that, right? Elliot thought to himself.
And then Olivia felt the pang in her chest stronger this time. Images of what-if-scenarios of the last decade came flooding back. It had been so long since someone asked that of her. Or that she let them ask. Elliot was trying to be her partner again and this request of his, as much as she wanted to say that she was a Captain and didn't need protection, it made her feel loved and cared for. So much more than anything else. Her eyes filled up before she could control her emotions. Elliot noticed it though and grew concerned.
"Liv?"
"You'll stay here all night if I don't text you, right?" she offered a smile even though her eyes were watery.
Elliot replied with a similar, but concerned smile.
"Hey, I'm still a stubborn son of a bitch."
She laughed a little and took a moment to appreciate the moment. She nodded then, telling him she'd text once inside her apartment. He breathed in relief, even though he desperately wanted to ask about what her reaction was all about.
"Thanks for the ride, El." She said, stepping back to close the door.
"Always." He had time to reply.
The text came through a few minutes afterward. Modern blink blink. He smiled and drove home.
