"I have learned, over a very long life, that the Uchiha bring woe to whatever their gaze falls upon."

Tobirama Senju, Second Hokage of Konohagakure, when asked what advice he would give his successor. The quote's veracity is disputed.

-O-

Naruto sat, polite as can be, as Ebisu lectured on.

"And so we can see that this chakra structure is a full 7% more efficient for only a 2% decrease in heat. Applying this technique to every fire jutsu you use will..."

Sasuke flanked him to the right, yawning. Sakura, on Naruto's left, was furiously taking notes. And past her were the Hokage's great-grandson, the daughter of the head of the Academy, and two other brats that Naruto assumed were also related to someone important.

It was slow torture. Their teacher was smart, Naruto could tell that much, but he learned much better by doing. All this sitting still and listening was driving him insane, and Sasuke didn't seem to be holding up much better.

The only reason Naruto hadn't stormed out was Sakura.

After Kakashi told them they were joining a select training group led by the best teacher in Konoha, Naruto's head filled with pictures of him stomping his way to the Hokage's seat with powerful new techniques. Sasuke was, for once, in complete agreement. And after the first day, when the two of them had been griping about 'Super-duper Masterful Teacher of Gloriousness and Skill Ebisu', Sakura had told them both off.

Her rant about how this was an amazing opportunity, and they were not – and she meant it – not going to mess this up for her, had convinced Naruto that he should at least pretend to be learning.

"Two further applications of the same general principle are... Let's hear from Sakura, and then Sasuke." Ebisu nodded to himself and pushed his glasses up his nose again.

"By refining the chakra boundary, but using a different element, we need to redefine the specific efficiencies we're after. But if we find a set of efficiencies that work for element-less techniques, then that has broad applications for a small outlay in terms of research!" Sakura scribbled her own answer down after she'd said it, and Naruto tried not to laugh.

"Very good!" Ebisu praised. "Now, Sasuke?"

Sasuke stared at the wall opposite, his eyes glazed over. In the silence that followed Ebisu's question, Naruto heard a quiet snore.

Ebisu looked pained, but he rallied and continued as though Sasuke had respectfully informed him that he didn't know the answer. "The other key application is that boundary changes for a specific element are more common, and can be used for all other techniques that are based on the same element."

A sudden surge of chakra to his left had Naruto springing to his feet and reaching for a kunai. He sheathed it again and stared. The Hokage's great-grandson Konohamaru had been replaced by a shirt stuffed with straw. A note was pinned to its chest with an oversized needle, labelling it as 'Konohamaru' in sloppy crayon letters.

For the first time, Naruto saw something other than cold detachment on Ebisu's face. The jounin sighed once, then adjusted his glasses. "Do not be alarmed. The honourable heir has been known to run off on occasion. His ANBU escort will ensure he comes to no harm."

The lesson continued, and Naruto swore he could feel his brains dribbling out his ears. Two hours later, he was the first on his feet and ready to dash out the door when disaster struck.

"A moment more of your time please, Uzumaki?" Ebisu asked. The man put the same slight inflection on Naruto's surname as he had when he called Konohamaru 'honourable heir'. Naruto waved Sakura and Sasuke on ahead; they had made plans to eat lunch together at a nearby rooftop garden so he'd catch up with the others later.

Once they were alone, Ebisu tried for an awkward smile. "It's been my experience over the last few years that some students are... better suited than others to my tutelage."

Naruto nodded politely. He was sure the jounin could sense the headache he was nursing.

"As such, and in the spirit of my arrangement with Kakashi, I can pass you and your teammate on to a different instructor, who is less cerebral. Only if you wish! I am not kicking you out, but I am offering you an alternative."

Naruto considered how disappointed Sakura would be if she was the only member of Team Seven left in Ebisu's class. Then he imagined Kakashi's reaction, and spoke before even realising he'd come to a decision.

"We'll have to decline your kind offer, I think. We'll try to make the most of your teaching though – or I will, at least. After all, this is a very limited chance for us."

There must be a reason Kakashi had put them here. Until Naruto knew what that reason was, he didn't plan on leaving. Ebisu smiled again, this one looking more natural. "I think in the long run you'll find this to be the better decision."

Naruto made a formal half-bow, then raced off to tell his teammates. He found them sitting in the shade of a handful of stunted fig trees that framed the rooftop garden, eating sticky pastries with an unexpected guest. Konohamaru sat between them, sporting a black eye and smiling around a mouthful of sugar and crumbs.

"What's this guy doing here?" he asked. "Shouldn't his guards or whatever have taken him back to class?"

Sakura shrugged. "Wasn't my idea to let him hang out with us, for the record." Clearly, in her eyes anyone who didn't enjoy Ebisu's classes was a bad influence.

With a lazy swallow from his canteen to clear his mouth, Sasuke explained. "He was following me, and being a massive brat. After I smacked some sense into him, he calmed down and we were having a nice chat. He's better company than most of our class at the Academy was, anyway." Konohamaru looked up at him with nascent hero-worship in his eyes, which Sasuke was entirely blind to.

"At least when he's running off, he's not wasting the teacher's valuable time," Sakura sighed.

"I've got more good news on that front," Naruto offered. "Ebisu asked Sasuke to scram, politely of course, so he'll be taking up someone else's time as well. Ebisu arranged for Sasuke to improve his cooking by helping out at the bakery we got these from," and he gestured at the pastry he was eating.

Sasuke stared at him, silent as the grave, for a few seconds before bursting into laughter. "You almost had me there. We'll just have to suffer through Ebisu's lessons together, I guess."

"I don't know," Sakura said thoughtfully, "you're not bad as a ninja, but think of how much you could bring to the team as a baker. We'd save a fortune on sweets, for a start."

"If we don't make it as ninja, we'll open a restaurant together," Naruto decided. "Sakura can be head chef, Sasuke's our baker, and I'll use my irresistible charm to bring in the customers as head waiter."

Konohamaru shifted, about to speak, and Naruto smiled at him. "You can be a sous chef, I suppose?"

"'Sous' had better not mean 'short'!" he snapped back.

The flowers scattered throughout the garden released a wave of scent as the next gust of wind swept by, and Naruto basked in his teammates' happy laughter. They chattered on about nothing of real relevance for the rest of their lunch.

-O-

After the first few mind-numbing days of theoretical lessons, Ebisu decided to hold his classes outside and intersperse the lectures with practical exercises. He had a knack for finding training methods that pinpointed Naruto's weaknesses. Naruto wondered whether all jounin were so damn observant.

Konohamaru had started following Sasuke around like a baby duckling, much to Naruto and Sakura's delight. Sasuke took to it with ill grace, but he didn't have it in him to chase the younger boy away. With the Hokage's great-grandson distracted, Ebisu's lessons were less prone to interruption, which Sakura approved of.

Naruto just liked being outside and sitting in the grass. He didn't flourish in classroom environments. Once Ebisu had gotten to know Team Seven, however, he was a very effective teacher. Naruto gradually gained a grudging respect for Ebisu.

The days passed and Kakashi hadn't returned yet. Naruto missed his teacher, and he knew Sasuke did as well, although the emotionally-stunted and uptight Uchiha would never admit it.

Today, Ebisu had given everyone physical exercises. Naruto hurled shuriken at a row of targets, over and over again, until his hands bled. Whenever he slacked off or looked to see how the others were doing, Ebisu hit him with a water balloon. Naruto had no idea where he was getting them from, and the periodic drenchings were doing nothing to endear the man to him.

But Naruto was getting stronger, which bought Ebisu a lot of leeway. That didn't mean the sight of him stretched out in the sun wasn't annoying. Naruto wanted to see Ebisu on the receiving end of a bucket of water sometime, if he could arrange it.

Shortly after lunch, a familiar figure strolled into the training ground. Kakashi was wandering over to Ebisu, his feet noiseless on the grass and a cheerful glint in his visible eye. He made an exaggerated 'shush' motion at Naruto as he neared Ebisu's prone form. Very slowly he tied a string of bells to the back of the jounin's headband, the small silver shapes making no sound as he worked.

Ebisu still hadn't noticed Kakashi's presence, it seemed. The man watched Naruto throw another pair of shuriken without comment. Naruto's next throw was off target as he tried to stifle his giggles.

Kakashi was now inflating a balloon behind his fellow jounin's head. With a flourish he produced a senbon needle and held it at the ready. Naruto slapped his hands over his ears.

Ebisu took a closer look at them just as Kakashi popped his balloon right beside the unfortunate man's ear. The jounin spun around, the air screaming as knives made of wind tore from his hands, although Kakashi was long gone by then. A tinkling behind him made him whip his head around before he cut upwards with a kunai and the string of bells fell to the floor. Kakashi wandered over and picked it back up, smiling the whole while.

"Thank you, my fellow jounin, for helping teach my wonderful students about the importance of constant awareness of your surroundings," Kakashi said, smugness radiating off him. "And for all your other lessons, of course. Say thank you to the nice man, children. And then we must be off."

Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura obediently thanked the fuming jounin. He nodded as graciously as could be expected, given the circumstances.

"Wait, I'm coming too!" Konohamaru shouted. He moved to chase after them but Sasuke caught him by the ankle. He swung the child upside down and gently threw him at Ebisu, who set him down.

"Sorry," Naruto called, "but you've got your own lessons to learn. Ebisu will take good care of you, don't worry." Konohamaru had grown on Naruto – he was the team's cute little mascot. Despite his endless boasts, he was too adorable to take seriously.

As Team Seven followed Kakashi out of the training ground, their teacher whispered to them. "It's a bad idea to deliberately startle a jounin, please remember that. It's very easy for innocent people to get hurt."

"Then why did you do it?" Sakura asked. "If it's so dangerous, I mean."

"It can be safe," Kakashi contradicted himself. "Well, only if you're that much better than the other guy. Which I am, and which I wanted him to know. And, Sasuke, once you awaken your Sharingan, you'll find it's an interesting way to pick up a new move or two." Kakashi adjusted his headband with a smirk.

The next few weeks were a whirl of intense physical work. Kakashi stopped spending time on chakra control exercises, or ninja battlefield tactics when working with untrustworthy allies, or how to creatively misfile mission paperwork to postpone any followup questions until after a shower and nap. Instead, Naruto ran until he was about to throw up, then threw kunai until his hands cramped, then punched a training post until he couldn't make a fist any more. He had to throw out two outfits because he couldn't wash the stink of sweat out of them.

Kakashi was tight-lipped about the reason for the sudden change. "If you have breath left for questions, you're not working hard enough!" he would say. Naruto quickly learned to keep quiet.

One night, Kakashi woke them all and dragged them on a wild sprint through the forests around Konoha. The rush of cool air as Naruto leapt from branch to silver branch was intoxicating, and he let out howls of wild laughter from the sheer joy of it, until Sakura said he was scaring her and could he please stop.

He'd been packing on muscle ever since graduating but for the first time in his life, Naruto felt strong. When he punched the practice logs that Kakashi never ran out of, every blow sent shudders through the stout wood. His arms and legs were fluid and graceful as he performed a series of katas for the thousandth time.

Sasuke kept up with him every step of the way. Naruto hated to admit it, but for every time he outlasted his teammate, there was an occasion where the Uchiha would outshine him. They rarely talked, but then again they didn't need to. Naruto knew, deep in his bones, that they were synchronised, and whatever he was thinking – whether it was something uncomplimentary about Kakashi's newest exercise, or a fantasy about the meal he would eat that evening – Sasuke would be having the same thoughts, or near enough.

The same could not be said for Sakura. She limped into view on the morning after their midnight run, bandages around her left knee. Hospital note in hand, she informed Kakashi in a level voice that she wasn't crazy enough to ruin her body via overtraining. Or as she put it, she wasn't interested in 'this macho dick-measuring contest, thank you very much'.

After that, the two boys didn't see her outside of a two hour period every morning when she drilled with them. Kakashi would disappear occasionally to check up on her, but otherwise he was eager to put himself through the same punishment as Naruto. It was a strange experience, watching Kakashi do one-finger push ups while Naruto sweated beside him, both hands firmly on the ground.

It took most of a month for the madness to wear off, at which point Kakashi sat all of Team Seven down for a long-overdue conversation. Naruto was looking forward to finding just what was going on. Kakashi had trained them like there was a war on.

"The Chunin Exams are coming up, and if you pass, then you'll no longer be my adorable little genin team," Kakashi began. "I'll still be here for you, but we won't spend all day together. You'll go on missions without me, or another jounin for that matter, to watch your backs. If I tell you that you're not ready for the Chunin Exams, it's not because of the test alone. It's also because of what comes after."

Naruto nodded, doing his best to look serious. "I understand. I won't let you down, any of you. We're a team."

Kakashi grabbed Sasuke and held a knife to his throat. "Sakura, kill Naruto right now. Or else I'll cut Sasuke's throat."

Naruto flinched, Sakura froze, and Kakashi released his hostage.

"It's not an easy job, keeping your team safe. I've buried both my teammates as well as my teacher. All that's left of them is this," he gestured at himself, "and this," he pointed at his covered eye.

Naruto stared as Kakashi raised his headband. What was that?

"Sasuke, do you want to explain to your team what they're looking at?" Kakashi asked.

"It's a Sharingan eye," Sasuke said dully. "The Sharingan is an Uchiha bloodline, although sometimes a dead Uchiha's eyes are stolen from the battlefield. It's why our dead are always burned."

"This eye in particular was a gift, not a theft," Kakashi corrected him. "But that's another story – one I'm happy to tell you about, but not right now."

Sasuke still looked like he'd been punched in the gut. "I'll hold you to that," he said.

"Can you see out of it?" Naruto asked, curiosity overwhelming his manners. By the look of her, Sakura had at least as many questions as he did. "Why do you carry it around with you? What does it do?"

Sasuke answered instead of Kakashi. "That's all that's left of my uncle."

"Oh." Naruto shut up for a moment. What was he supposed to say to that?

Sakura took that as her cue to step into the conversation. "So to get back to the Chunin Exams, what more do you want from us? To prove that we're ready, I mean."

"Two things. Firstly, I've accepted another mission for you three. I'll be coming along to keep an eye on you, but you'll need to complete it with no help from me. The second challenge will happen after we're back. If you manage all that, you're ready to be chunin, and therefore ready for the exams."

"Do we even have time for all that? When are the exams happening?" Naruto asked.

Kakashi shrugged. "I don't know. They were moved because one of Konoha's Sannin, the traitor Orochimaru, attempted to assassinate the Kazekage. The new time will be set with little advance warning so that it's harder to infiltrate. Oh, and as a side note: if you see anyone with a headband that has a musical note on it, you should run. They're followers of Orochimaru and he's not friendly to the Leaf. There's a reason they call him The Forsaken."

Sasuke stayed behind to talk to Kakashi, and though Naruto would have loved to listen in on their conversation he knew when he was surplus to requirements. Instead, he walked Sakura home, catching up on what they'd been doing the last few weeks.

"I can't believe Kakashi didn't slow the pace down at all after I left!" Sakura said. "I figured the first few days would be the hardest."

"If anything, things got worse," Naruto boasted. "I feel like I've journeyed through hell."

"Were you not tempted to quit?"

The words brought Naruto up short. He hadn't thought of that, not at all. Even now, considering it, it didn't feel like a real option. Naruto Uzumaki was not a person who quit. Ever.

They walked on in silence, approaching one of the many bridges that spanned Konoha's plethora of small rivers. Naruto realised their conversation had died out, and struggled to revive it. "I've gotten a lot stronger, so it's worked out in the end. But enough about me. What were you doing in the meantime?"

Sakura grinned as she ran towards the bridge's railing. "I'll show you!" she said, and vaulted over it, dropping to the river below.

Naruto listened for a splash but it never came. He hopped up onto the railing and looked down – Sakura was standing on the water's surface, slowly being carried downstream. She waved up at him, sunlight dappled across her nose, the wind fanning out her pink hair.

He noticed he was staring, but he couldn't help it. "That's so cool," he settled for saying.

"That's not all," Sakura said, grinning. "But I'll keep the other thing a secret. You'll have to wait and see."

"Oh, you can tell me," he said, laughing. "I promise I'll keep your secret for you."

They joked all the way home and Naruto caught himself staring at Sakura again. She had a small freckle on her forehead, and he wondered what kissing it would feel like.

"Do I have something on my face?" Sakura asked innocently. Naruto stammered out a denial.

After saying goodbye outside her parents' house, Naruto made his own way home. He stopped to buy some fresh bread on the way home and almost walked right into Shikamaru.

"Oh hey, how's it going? Still getting enough sleep during training?" Naruto asked, grinning.

Shikamaru shook his head, dark shadows under his eyes. "Ino's an absolute slave-driver. I've never been this sore in my life."

"Well, you've gotta pay for getting those juicy missions somehow. I can't believe you got to meet Tsunade! What's she like?"

"She's… well, have you ever seen two jounin fight?"

"No," Naruto replied after some thought.

"Trust me, you don't want to. We were on a mission to Wave when this huge missing-nin from Mist with a seven-foot sword showed up and tried to kill our client. He's an S-rank monster and Asuma went toe to toe with him for five minutes. I've never been so scared in my life." Shikamaru shivered, and Naruto wondered what had happened to the lackadaisical boy he'd shared snacks with at the Academy. "Anyway, Tsunade is like them. She's inhumanly fast and strong, and she doesn't have their self-restraint. She terrifies me."

"Oh," Naruto said. "But you're fine, right?"

"Only because I was lucky enough to have one of Konoha's strongest jounin with me at the time."

Shikamaru stood in silence, gazing at nothing at all. Naruto knew he had to do something.

"Come round mine for dinner tonight, I'm making fresh ramen. You seem like you need a chance to unwind. I know your house isn't the most relaxed place. Besides, just picture it – a nice big steaming bowl of freshly-made egg ramen in broth, with a good portion of pork belly and a bit of broccoli. Doesn't that make your mouth water?"

One day he was going to cook for Sakura and impress her so much that she'd instantly fall in love. For now, though, it would be good to show off to Shikamaru, and maybe get some answers from him about what was going on with Asuma and Kakashi.

"Sure," Shikamaru said, then after a moment, "thanks."

"Don't worry about it. What are friends for, after all?"

-O-

As Team Seven waited for their teacher the next morning, Naruto filled the others in on what he'd learned. "Asuma has these knives he likes to use, and he has a lot of wind techniques, but he also likes fire. He fought one of the Seven Swordsmen from Mist to a standstill. Shikamaru was boasting about it all evening."

Sasuke frowned. "Did he know why Asuma and Kakashi don't get on?"

"No, I asked about that. Shikamaru had no idea, but he thought it might involve some of the other jounin. Maybe Kurenai or Guy. I don't much feel like asking them, though."

"I might know something, in that case," Sasuke offered cautiously. "I overheard Kakashi and Kurenai–"

"Good morning, my little ducklings," Kakashi said, leaning against the wall behind them. "Let's get moving before we waste half the day on idle gossip."

Sasuke ducked his head a little. "–I overheard them but I won't share what they said, because it was a private conversation."

Kakashi ruffled Sasuke's hair with a pleased smile. At least Naruto thought it was a smile – it was hard to tell with the mask.

"Here's your mission details, by the way." Naruto caught the scroll as Kakashi tossed it at them, and Sasuke and Sakura gathered around to read over his shoulders. "Congratulations. This is an important mission that relates to Konoha's border security."

Naruto scanned through the mission scroll once to get an overview, then re-read it more thoroughly to pick up the important details. There was a small-time smuggling group based near the border with Tea Country, but they'd been getting more bold. They were moving more and pricier goods, enough that it was worth sending ninja to close them down.

Team Seven were to identify the smugglers and the route they were using, and pass the information on to the local garrison of border guards, unless the guards were involved, in which case the army would be required. There wasn't any need for combat.

"The main reason Konoha cares about this mission is because smugglers' routes are a good way for enemy ninja to enter Fire Country unobserved," Sakura explained to Naruto.

"So, how do we want to do this?" Naruto asked. He looked at Kakashi, who looked away, whistling to himself. "Alright. We'll need to pick one of us as our leader."

Sasuke and Sakura immediately started talking, but Naruto spoke over them both. "Hear me out! I think it should be Sasuke."