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A Shift in the Force: Chapter Thirty-One: Mechanisms For Coping

AN: So, Carina's going to be fun to write, but this chapter will focus mostly on Talik, my poor baby.


Anakin hovered outside the room, worry spilling across his face as he watched the healers look over Talik, her eyes shut and her lavender-colored skin lightened with pallor. She hadn't woken up since she'd collapsed in the middle of the Jedi Temple after a blood-curdling scream.

Anakin had never heard his friend scream quite like that before, and it was more than a bit terrifying.

Master Vokara Che's face was rather closed off as she looked over the young padawan, inspecting her form closely, focusing on her head.

Aayla stood at his side, a hand over her mouth as she tried to mentally ascertain what had led to her temporary padawan's collapse.

"Do you think she'll be all right?" Anakin's brow furrowed as he looked up to the Twi'lek Jedi and Aayla heaved a sigh.

"I have no idea," she murmured as Vokara Che leaned back from inspecting Talik, her eyes soft before she set down her datapad and stepped out of the room, shutting the door carefully behind her.

"Master Vokara Che, how is she?" Aayla said as soon as door was shut.

"She's in shock, amongst other things," Vokara Che admitted, "but given what just happened, I think that's to be expected."

"But all she did was scream and collapse," Anakin said with a scowl, "nothing happened."

"This isn't physical, Anakin," Vokara Che said sadly, "what Talik's suffering from happens when a close master-padawan bond is broken."

Anakin's throat clogged up and Aayla pressed a hand to her mouth in horror.

"B-but," Anakin's words didn't seem to quite come out the way he wanted them to, "for that to happen, Master Sabé would have to be—"

"She'd have to be dead," Vokara Che agreed and Aayla struggled to control her emotions.

She swallowed thickly. Sabé had always been so clever and so foolish with her Shadow missions, but she'd always made sure that if something did happen to her, then Talik would be well looked after. Still, Sabé wasn't the type to perform unnecessary risks. She calculated and she strategized; leaping without thinking was more of Talik's thing than Sabé's.

Anakin sat down hard on the stiff chair pushed against the wall, unable to comprehend what he'd just heard.

There was no way that Sabé Amidala was dead, there was just no way!

"How –how is she?" Aayla croaked finally and Vokara Che glanced back to the door as if she could see through it.

"Physically, she's fine," Vokara Che admitted. "But the breaking of her bond with Sabé it's caused some damage to her mind. It can easily be fixed, but the longer we wait, the more pain it will cause."

Aayla nodded. Bonds that snapped unbeknownst to one of the two persons it was connected to were known to cause an extraordinary amount of pain.

"Excuse me," Vokara Che said softly, excusing herself and Aayla who had once been touched by the Dark Side, had never felt so cold.


Talik's head was empty and it was a feeling she hadn't been accustomed to since she was ten. Sabé's presence hadn't been always noticeable, but their master-padawan bond was strong…and now it was gone.

She had sobbed until her eyes were dried up when Aayla had broken the news to her gently, but there was an ache deep in her chest that couldn't be healed.

There was a reason, some of the older masters had whispered where they thought she couldn't hear, that the bond between master and padawan wasn't meant to be as strong as theirs had been.

Look at what happened to Meetra Surik and Kreia.

Talik didn't like the comparison, especially since she wasn't familiar with those two names in the slightest. Sabé would've probably known.

She kept her arms hooked around her legs, drawing them close to her chest as she tried to rationalize what had happened as best as she could.

"I thought I'd find you here," a voice said suddenly and she strained not to jump in surprise as Obi-Wan stepped into view.

The apartment was so big without Sabé; Sabé could fill a room on a good day. Sabé made the days and nights of Coruscant so bright and welcoming.

"I'm fine," Talik croaked, quickly smudging the tears on her cheeks as she looked up at him.

Aayla hadn't smiled in days, Kit's face had lost all expression, and Obi-Wan Kenobi was closed-off and stunned.

Talik didn't know what it had been that had happened between Sabé and Obi-Wan, but she was smart enough to know that it was significant.

"Talik," Obi-Wan said carefully, moving forward so that he was perched on the edge of the caf-table in front of where Talik was sitting, "I like to think I've come to know you rather well over the years."

The Twi'lek said nothing to that, opting to chew viciously on the inside of her cheek before looking up into his eyes.

The hazel ones were normally a bit bright, particularly when Sabé was around, now that Talik thought about it, but now they were darker, more somber.

"It's all right to mourn her," he said far more gently than she'd ever heard him speak, "she was your master—"

"That's not what the Code says," Talik choked, scrubbing at her eyes with the back of her hand.

There was a line in the Code: There is no death, there is the Force. Death was the end of all things and when a being died, they were taken back into the Force that had given them life.

"Then forget about the Code…in this instance."

Talik looked up in surprise at that. Sabé and Obi-Wan had had a great deal of arguments over the years on the subject of the Code and whether or not it was correct; Obi-Wan had always been for the Code and Sabé had always been a bit undecided on several of the Code's points.

Yoda had warned her to let go of her pain and her anger and her sadness, as though he hadn't been Sabé's master for many years, as though he didn't feel as though the universe was just a bit darker without her.

"Rejoice for those who transform into the Force. Mourn them, do not. Miss them, do not."

She couldn't do it. How could Yoda expect her not to miss Sabé? Sabé who was very much like her older sister?

"Did you love Master Jinn so much that when he was gone it hurt?" Talik asked him.

Obi-Wan sucked in a breath. "It hurt when he died," he admitted, "but I wasn't nearly as close to him as you were to Sabé."

Talik mulled that over. "I asked her if she loved you, before she left," she admitted and Obi-Wan's eyebrows rose high on his forehead. "She just told me to go to bed."

"Sounds like her."

There was a small wooden box resting on the caf-table near Obi-Wan that Sabé had brought home from Naboo after her two week long meditative retreat, and inside it were the beads that Sabé had once worn in her hair, but Talik couldn't open it, she couldn't touch anything that had once been Sabé's.

"Did you love her?" she found herself asking, fixing her eyes on his, trying to draw the answer from him by sheer willpower.

But Obi-Wan surprised her again.

"I don't know," he admitted. "My relationship with Sabé was…complicated."

It was better to describe it as that than anything else. Because Obi-Wan knew that Sabé was easily one of the most stunning beings he had ever laid his eyes upon, and it was her actions, not her features that had drawn himself to that conclusion. She put every inch of her into her Shadow missions, she was all heart when the Jedi were taught to be restrained. She kept an open mind in the face of adversity, she had her own beliefs of the Jedi despite how many thought they didn't align very well. She inspired only the very best from those she was with.

Obi-Wan had had his heart broken so many times, though, whether by choosing the Jedi over the one he loved or the one he loved dying. He had always been rather unfortunate in love.

He didn't know what would've happened between him and Sabé, but he couldn't help but remember once more the words that she'd said to him so long on that Nubian ship.

"I do not think that I would fall in love with a simple man. They would have to have complexity and understand my devotion to the Order. A great man, if he could see it."

But surely Sabé hadn't been referring to him.

Obi-Wan shook his head to clear his thoughts before standing and offering the young padawan his hands. "Come along, Talik, Aayla and Anakin are bound to be getting worried."

Talik felt a bit ashamed to have caused them distress, so she took his hands, pulling herself upright, following after him, shutting the door to Sabé's apartment behind her, feeling very much as though she would never re-open the door.


Talik's anger and sorrow festered for two long months as Aayla took her on as her padawan and it wasn't until such feelings nearly resulted in a mission failure that Aayla finally decided to do something about it.

"You won't be permitted to be off-planet until you're in full control of your emotions," Aayla said shortly, crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes.

She didn't like playing the part of the enemy, but the only way she was going to get Talik to listen to her was to be aggressive.

"You can't do that! I need experience!" Talik fired back, her hands clenched into tight fists. She had sacrificed a great deal of her time already by studying with Master Vokara Che and she was starting to get behind on missions because of it.

"I'm your master and I can do what I please," Aayla responded, undeterred.

"Not the one I chose," Talik muttered more to herself than to Aayla, but the older Twi'lek didn't take it to heart.

"I can't help that and neither can you," Aayla said, "and you're a risk that I can't always keep my eyes on. I need to know that I can trust you to be on your own."

"You can!" Talik insisted.

"I don't think so." Aayla's grip tightened on her arms where they were still crossed over her chest. "Perhaps some perspective will be helpful towards you."

"What're you talking about?"

There was a far too calculating glint in Aayla's eye. "Queen Amidala has just arrived from Naboo to speak with the Senate on a matter of precedence. I think she could use a little chat with her sister's padawan, don't you?"

And Talik went impossibly white under her usual lavender-colored pigmentation. She and Anakin hadn't quite known what to do about telling Sabé's family about what had happened; it wasn't as though there was a body to bury or reduce to ash. And they had gone without talking about Sabé for months at a time, especially when Sabé was on Shadow missions, so her absence wasn't always noticeable.

"You want me to tell her that her sister's dead?" Talik was horrified and sickened.

"Someone must," Aayla pressed. "Better it be from you and Anakin and not a member of the Council whom wasn't as familiar with her."

"You could do it!"

Aayla stared at her new padawan flatly. Sabé's death had rocked her to her core, but Sabé had never believed in stagnation, only looking forward and changing with the times (yet another thing she and the Council had disagreed on) and she would've wanted her to move on and guide Talik as best as she could.

"Padmé doesn't know me, she knows you, Talik," Aayla pointed out and Talik faltered. "Living without the knowledge of what has befallen your family is as bad as refusing to tell her because the subject makes you uncomfortable."

Talik wished she'd had a way to refute Aayla, but she didn't.


Anakin straightened his robes for the third time since they'd arrived at 500 Republica, the apartment building that she hadn't set foot in since she'd collected her things from Sabé's apartment, but Talik had left her cloak at the Temple.

"This is a terrible idea," Talik grumbled.

"She's going to find out eventually," Anakin mentioned a bit awkwardly.

Their relationship had been rather strained as of late, and Talik had only herself and her anger to blame for it.

Talik released a loud sigh as the lift came to a stop, opening into a long hallway that ended with one room that was guarded by two officials wearing the Naboo emblem.

Both Jedi padawans shared a glance before steeling their nerves and stepping out of the lift.

"Jedi Padawans Shala and Skywalker to see the Queen," Talik spoke first and both men shared a glance that said they very much doubted the pair would be let in.

"For what reason?" the one on the left asked.

"We need to talk to her about her sister, Sabé Amidala," Anakin said, nearly glowering at the man in question and the second one decided it was best to comm the head of security and Talik hoped it was still Captain Panaka, because at least he would have remembered them from their assistance during the Battle of Theed.

A moment later they were permitted to enter.

Talik didn't completely recognize Padmé, but with her royal attire it was rather difficult to. Her entire face was painted white with the Scar of Remembrance red splitting her lip and a red dot on either cheek, and the deep blue gown she was wearing made it rather difficult to tell anything except maybe her height, which had hardly improved since the last time Talik had seen her.

"Talik, Anakin!" Padmé's smile split her face and it only served to make Talik's stomach feel like it was turning in on itself. "You've grown so much!"

Anakin beamed as best as he could given the reason they were there in the first place, grasping her fingers tightly, as it was the only place he could really touch of her without upending her headdress or mess with her stiff dress, and Talik gave a half smile.

"I'm not on the planet very long," Padmé acquiesced with a bit of regret, "or I would have sent you a data-message; how did you know I was going to be here?"

"Master Aayla mentioned it," Talik said Padmé looked to her.

"Aayla," she repeated the name carefully, "she's Sabé's friend, right?"

"That's her," Anakin agreed, playing with the end of his padawan braid while Talik directed her attention downwards to inspect the skin over her knuckles.

It didn't take a genius to tell that there was something wrong, and it didn't pass Padmé's attention.

"Captain Panaka said you needed to speak to me about Sabé," Padmé said carefully, looking from one to the other, "what is it?"

"You, um," Talik's words fumbled in her throat and she had to clear her throat to force the words out, "you might want to sit down."

Padmé's smile fell. "No, I don't think I do," she said and Anakin blew out a loud breath, gripping at the short hairs at the nape of his neck. "You're scaring me."

Talik shot a look to her friend, but even he wasn't sure how to start, effectively throwing Talik under the transport.

"Well, um, Master and I were back from our three month training mission, just after we had the funeral for Siri Tachi—"

"Siri Tachi?" Padmé sounded the name in confusion.

"She was another Jedi that our masters were friends with," Anakin supplied helpfully, "Master Sabé took her death…hard."

"Siri'd left Master a message that was encrypted…no one could really make sense of it, but I guess Master did, because she woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me she was going on a top secret Shadow mission." Talik blinked furiously, her hands shaking, so she stuck them behind her to keep Padmé from seeing. "A-And the next day my bond with her broke, and that only happens—"

"No," Padmé murmured, shaking her head slowly, "no, that can't be…she's –she's not—"

Talik hung back, but Anakin took a step forward in worry, but she shook off his hand, bringing her own hand close to her face, but not touching it.

"I would know," Padmé insisted, her lower lip trembling, "I would know!"

It was terrible to watch her struggle to keep herself from crying, to keep her emotions in check, and Talik felt horrible for being the one break such terrible news to her in the first place.

"S-She's faked her death before, though," Padmé insisted, her voice throaty with clogged emotion.

Sabé had been rather good at faking her death, she had mentioned it more than once, how it sometimes was the only way to get out of a tough situation.

Evidently, it wasn't something either Talik or Anakin had considered, because they positively balked, surprise lining their faces.

"She could've, couldn't she?" Padmé insisted, her voice rising slightly in her determination. It was hard to tell if that was her just grasping at straws or if she legitimately believed it.

"I-I don't know," Talik floundered, "maybe."

Her master had never broken their bond before…but if the mission was as dangerous as Aayla had thought it to be, despite not knowing what it was, it could have been plausible for Sabé to forcibly break their bond in order to cut off their connection effectively.

It would've hurt Sabé the same as it had Talik, if not more so, it couldn't have been something to take lightly.

"It's possible, though!"

"Padmé—" Anakin tried to interrupt her, but the Queen held up a finger to silence him, her eyes fixed on Talik.

"You knew her best," Padmé was breathless, latching onto her last possible hope that her elder sister was still alive.

Talik's fingers smoothed over the vambraces that encased her lower arms, made of Mandalorian armor that her master had once gifted her.

"Do you know why Master Sabé is the best Jedi Shadow at the Temple?" she asked suddenly and Padmé's white-painted brow furrowed and Anakin looked a bit befuddled. "It's because she's got this skill at…locking herself away when she's on a mission…she becomes a whole new person, different attitude, different morals, different style, different way of walking…to do that she has to relinquish most of her control of her mind and body to that personality."

"She becomes her own subconscious," Padmé realized.

"Basically," Talik admitted. "I suppose she could've broken the bond herself if she thought she was in danger of being found out…or…"

"Or?" Anakin prompted, not really knowing if he wanted to hear this.

Talik grimaced. "You can transmit along bonds, that's why we have them…you know, thoughts, feelings…pain."

"Pain?" Padmé looked sick despite the paint on her face.

"Well, being a Shadow is pretty dangerous and she's got the scars to prove it."

Padmé looked away quickly, bringing her hand up to her mouth again and Anakin threw a look towards Talik.

"But it's possible that she could've done it, yes," Talik said finally.

But could she even begin to hope as Padmé so desperately did?


Talik's fingers roved over the slender grips of Sabé's twin lightsabers, over the etched leaves that Sabé had so diligently carved into the hilts as a child.

"I'd try a bit of practicing rather than mulling over your master's death, if I was you."

Talik jumped at the sudden voice, tilting her head back to look at the speaker who had come to join her in one of the training rooms in the Temple. And then she found herself staring.

Keelyvine Reus was someone she'd only seen from a distance, Sabé's harsh teacher of Jar'Kai who was only a few years older than her.

Unlike most of the Jedi, Keelyvine's attire was rather non-traditional in the form green garments as a fighting dress and, surprisingly, green lipstick that matched her eyes.

"Master Reus," Talik said in surprise, "I wasn't expecting you."

"Evidently," the Jedi remarked wryly and Talik tried not to be irritated by it as the woman sat down beside her.

"Master Reus," Talik said slowly, "do you think Master Sabé is still alive?"

She couldn't ask Aayla or Kit, they'd already come to terms with their friends demise. It was a deep spiritual wound for them, but they didn't have the same hope to hold onto.

Keelyvine considered her. "I trained your master, you know," she said and confusion flashed across Talik's face. "I taught her to master the Jar'Kai style."

"She didn't think she was," Talik said with a frown, "not compared to you."

"That was always Sabé's problem," Keelyvine snorted, but she didn't elaborate. "I trained your master to be the best in Jar'Kai because so few Jedi have ever actually managed to master it. It's more complicated than most are willing to admit, and some still consider it an inferior art."

Talik scowled.

"My point is," Keelyvine stressed the word, "Sabé was very skilled and the Shadow program that aspiring Jedi Shadows have to go through before they're even allowed on missions made her even more so. I think it would take someone very fast, very strong, and very clever to kill her, and I think that combination is a bit rare in combination, don't you?"

Talik inclined her head slightly in agreement.

"What do you believe?"

"I want—" Talik started to say, but Keelyvine cut her off.

"I'm not asking you what think, I'm asking what you believe," Keelyvine corrected, "what you sense."

Talik faltered before closing her eyes and breathing in and out deeply, focusing inward to the frayed ends of her bond and then following it back. Sabé may have broken the bond to numb Talik to her situation, but she couldn't hide the thrum of a heartbeat, however faint, even though Talik couldn't follow the broken bond back to its owner, it was there, like an echo that was fading, like footprints on the sand.

"She's alive," Talik barely breathed, opening her eyes.

"Have faith, Talik Shala, it's not often misplaced," Keelyvine said and it was only then that Talik saw just why Sabé had been so fond of her.

"Master Reus?"

"Hm?" The Jedi hummed, green eyes looking upon her.

"Will you train me?" Talik couldn't bring herself to regret the words passing her lips, even knowing how harsh a teacher Keelyvine Reus was.

"It would be my pleasure," Keelyvine's grin turned feral.


How long had it been? Six months, give or take a few weeks? Carina's body ached, but today was the day, today was the day her captors reaped what they had sown.

It was unfortunate that the Rakata weren't aware that prolonged use of any substance on another being, even a Ysalamiri-derivative on a Sith, could cause the body to build up resistance to it and break it down at a much faster rate.

Unfortunate for the Rakata, but not for Carina.

Being in the energy field with her wrists and ankles locked in place was only a minor issue.

Carina's yellowed eyes flicked towards the Rakata that had its back to her, fiddling with an electro-staff, no doubt to use on her next. She blinked and the latches around her extremities unlatched in one smooth simultaneous move and she landed unsteadily on her feet before straightening up, making the Rakata twist around quickly raising the electro-staff, but Carina waved her hand and it shot out of its hands.

The next wave of her hand had the Rakata lifted into the air.

"I'm going to enjoy this," Carina smirked, her eyes gleaming as her hand tightened into a claw and the Rakata's hands clawed at its throat.

She liked it when they begged, but it was harder to do that with no air entering its lungs.

Too bad.

Carina clenched her hand together and the Rakata slumped in the air before she dropped the carcass to the floor.

"This is why people know better than to kriffing touch me," she spat towards the corpse before she walked over it, wrenching the door open and racing out into the unknown.

AN: So, Talik's got some issues with coping, but she's on her way to greatness, and we've gotten to Carina's escape.

It's likely Carina will only be seen through the eyes of other Jedi who's paths she happens to cross, but don't quote me on that.

As always: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!