Author's Note: So…I'm cleaning up my SessKag wip folder when I had stumbled upon an old draft of Timekeeper. The writing is like 95% identical, but I had originally envisioned it to be told in a reverse order of Tick Tock. I still kind of like this order, so I'm just dumping it here in this collection of miscellaneous stories. I'm curious, which version do you prefer? The one I had went with or this one?

Word Count: 1743

CW: Character death


rewind & pause


She didn't see the car, or maybe the car didn't see her. She wasn't too sure, except that the pain was sudden, the rain was cold, and he was still waiting for her. She closed her eyes, seeing only him as she felt her body weakening from the impact.

.

(At thirty-eight, she realized she had spent roughly two decades with him, here and there. She wished it had been fuller.)

.

(He was quieter than usual on her thirty-seventh year, eyes sweeping over her, searching, realizing.

She broke the ice, grinning, People are whispering. What are they saying?

They think you are a cougar, he said in all seriousness, causing her to keel over laughing with how true the image must look. He barely looked like he was in his mid-twenties even though she suspected he must be pushing towards a millennium already.

If only, she thought as she protested at his attempt to jest.)

.

(Karma was a bitch, she realized at thirty-six, after she had thrown her husband out of the house for his infidelity. She looked up from her glass of water, seeing him still waiting for her to speak since they had sat down at their table.

I left my husband, she finally confessed, and remarkably, registering the words for the first time since the incident took place. Resigned, she continued softly, appearing nonchalant, He was sleeping with his student. Who knows who else?

Realizing who she was meeting with again, she laughed bitterly to herself as she buried her face in her hands. Fuck, I am such a hypocrite.

You are nothing like him! his voice was full of rage, sending her into a startled silence.

She felt her heart beat quietly for his words, his approval, his affection. She quieted those feelings, raising her menu, and forcing a smile on her face. What should we eat today?)

.

(Thirty-two through thirty-five were a whirlwind of family affairs, circumstances, and other inconveniences. They made promises to find time, but every time she had blinked, a year had passed and they missed their chance. She wondered if they were both unconsciously doing this on purpose, igniting the end that perhaps should have happened long ago.)

.

(Are you seeing anyone?

The words tumbled out of her mouth with ease as she waited with expectant eyes.

Yes, he answered, unknowingly igniting a jealous flame she hadn't felt in a long time. She hated herself in that moment for her hypocrisy, showing him pictures of her smiling family while holding some hope that he was still hers to have. She tried to smother the rage she felt at the thought of others touching him, having him in ways that she couldn't, and it frightened her to realize how deep her feelings were.

She reached across for his hand, holding onto it tightly. His steady gaze washed away her jealousy until she felt only faint hints of it.

I hope you are happy, she said, meaning every word no matter how much it ached.)

.

(He showed concern for her when she was thirty, thin, and tired from the unexpected turmoil of motherhood.

She assuaged his worries with a smile, but she could see a stranger flicker of emotion in his eyes. He talked with her more and more, but there were still so many things he did not share. She wondered if she would ever get to know everything in his head and heart.)

.

(He asked the inevitable question when she was twenty-nine and expecting again: Should we stop meeting?

Without missing a beat, she had snorted, Yeah. When I'm dead. She meant every word, not wanting to lose whatever moments she could create with him.

When he suggested the most expensive item on the menu for her baby's sake, she smiled widely, wondering how this was the same ruthless demon she had met when she was a teenager. They had both changed so much, and she quite liked that.

You spoil me, she said.)

.

(Her world shifted at twenty-eight when she realized she loved someone even more than him. She placed a tender kiss on her newborn daughter's forehead, and apologized quietly for her sins.)

.

(She was nervous at twenty-seven standing outside the restaurant as she felt her child kicked. She smoothed her dress over her round figure and walked into the restaurant where he waited.

She had never seen his eyes as wide as they were then, and she couldn't help but smiled at that. When he gave her a long look, she laughed, Six months. I feel like a cow.

You look lovely, he said, voice calm and careful, and she ached.

What a liar, she scoffed as she sat down in her seat with his help.

She remembered a time when his very presence would instill fear, but now she felt warmed and safe by his side. She stroked her wedding ring, thinking she had almost everything she had ever wanted.

Except him.

Will I see you next year?

She looked at him, laughing, Why would you not?

Deep down, though, she knew nothing would last forever. Especially them. Whatever this was.)

.

(She did not wait for him at twenty-six when he left her for the other side of the world. She tired of distance separating her from everyone and everything she had ever loved. Worse, she realized why he had rejected her. She was only an instant in his long life. She could remember him when she was old and frail, but she wondered when he would start to forget her. She didn't think she could bear the thought, so she locked her feelings away and exchanged vows with someone who was not him.)

.

(A man that was not him walked into her life at twenty-five, and she hesitantly allowed him entrance into her heart, though she still left room for the former demon lord to come in, if he so chose.)

.

(She perfected her smile at twenty-four, talking with him about this and that, but never the one incident that nearly drove him away. She would rather bury the past than lose him again.)

.

(All dolled up at twenty-three in a red dress that hugged her slim figure beautifully, she captured several male gazes along the way, but she had eyes for only him. With a little liquid courage, she pressed her red painted lips against his, thinking he felt the same as she did.

He was still at first, but then he pushed her away.

You are not thinking clearly, she heard him say, shocking her.

Her mind became fuzzy as she tried to protest, feeling hot tears welling up in her eyes.

I will not be your replacement of him.

Her heart cracked at his cold words as she tried to make sense of everything. She never did remember when he had dropped her off at her home alone.)

.

(She bustled into the café, twenty-two and late for their annual meet-up. Sweats gleamed down the side of her face as she settled into her seat, grinning after giving him a petulant stuck-out tongue when he scolded her for her tardiness.

Never once did she think they would banter the way they did, or talked as comfortably about nothing, and she realized she did not want to let it go.)

.

(She tried to stir up the past at twenty-one, but he had crushed her efforts with one firm reminder that he did not care for her friends or the past.

His words stung, but she tried not to let it get to her. Instead, she displayed her confusion, asking, Then why are you here—with me?

She waited for the answer that never came.)

.

(Twenty rolled by, and although she had inkling of what had happened, she still asked about the half-demon that never came for her.

He is dead, he answered, short and cold, leaving no room for clarification.

I thought so, she admitted, feeling a strange weight finally being lifted off her shoulder as her heart continued to ache for a different kind of pain.)

.

(She had never imagined at nineteen she would be a stranger in her own time period, feeling so out of place, like an alien far from home. Stranger than her feeling of disconnection with home, she felt oddly comforted by his presence as she watched him drink his iced coffee, responding to her idle chatters with surprising civility.)

.

(Eighteen, he stood a head taller in the crowd, looking nothing like the ethereal creature she remembered from a time gone by, but instilling a different kind of anxiousness in her as she felt her heavy legs dragged across the sea of people, her friends' concerns lost on her ears. Without thinking, she reached out for the sleeve of this stranger's suit, and he gave her a peculiar look.

She barely heard her voice speaking, tumbling over words as she gathered her wits and pulled away.

It was only when she felt his strong grip on her wrist and heard his deep, rich voice did she realized how much she ached for the past, even if he was the only one left—the only one that came back to her.)

.

(At seventeen, she disappeared with the well, thinking only of his brother and the friends she was ripped away from.)

.

(She met him when she was fifteen, this creature that was beautifully dangerous, or maybe he was dangerously beautiful. Different meanings for the same thing, but she thought nothing more after that as he filled her with only fear.)

.

Kagome! he called for her, his voice broke through the memories, stirring her conscious long enough to see the despair and remorse etched on his face. It didn't look right, she thought briefly, seeing this powerful creature rendered helpless.

The rain continued to pour, curious voices surrounded them both, but all her eyes could see was him. Nothing and nobody else seemed to matter to either one in that moment.

S-sorry, I'm late, she rasped. He looked at her with absolute confusion, and then he laughed, so humorless and wrecked. She felt her body lifted off the cold, hard ground, gently pulled close to his warm body.

I still...you… she uttered weakly, feeling the last of her strength was fading away. As her eyes closed, she could have sworn she felt something warm on her lips, but perhaps it was just her final wish.