Disclaimer: George Lucas owns Star Wars
A Shift in the Force: Chapter Forty-One: The Awakening
AN: Everyone's so interested in where Sabé's life is going to go now, and I can assure that the next few chapters will explain everything.
The rationalization was the worst part for Sabé.
Being a Jedi Shadow was one of the hardest specializations to have within the Jedi, that couldn't have been denied, and Sabé had taken a life before, it was, sadly, something she had gotten used to. Her various identities and personas while undercover were more often than not the less reputable type, thieves, assassins, and others like them, and there was more than enough blood and blaster residue on her hands. Realistically, she should have known early on into being a Jedi Shadow that it was going to be like that; Taria had a more hopeful view of the Jedi Shadows that Sabé couldn't help but admire and that Sabé herself had had up until her most recent mission.
How many times had she told herself that she couldn't possibly be the thing Darth Maul was certain she'd one day be? That her dreams had showed her what she would one day become?
Sabé raised a hand to her brow, scrubbing at it viciously where she crouched on her feet in a dark corner of the balcony at Varykino overlooking the lake. It had been lovely out that day, and she would've remembered it clearly even if it wasn't playing out in front of her.
She looked through her fingers, her gaze softening as she watched Obi-Wan, all of sixteen, perched on the balcony itself, ginger hair cropped short and a smile curving his lips as Sabé sat on the floor with Padmé so small and bright perched in her lap, like Sabé was her personal nest, the pair reading a holo-book together.
That had been so long ago, right after she'd lost her arm, the arm that was mostly hidden under her younger self's sleeve, but that Sabé knew was still reddened and inflamed where metal met flesh.
This was the mission the High Council had sent her and Obi-Wan on to protect her father, because, at the time, that was why they'd believed she'd been attacked on Coruscant. It had been a test, she knew, from Yoda, he had wanted to see how she would react and deal with a mission that returned her to her family.
Perhaps he also wanted to see if she would give up being a Jedi for family, Yoda could be cold like that, and Sabé knew better than anyone else his mind games.
She'd failed his test regardless, and her fondness and love for her family remained.
"They grow up so fast, don't they?"
Sabé started in surprise, turning to look at the woman sitting next to her, bathed in the sunlight, looking more content than she had in the moments leading up to her death.
"Korinth'Kel." The name choked on Sabé's lips and the Near-Human smiled.
Her silvery eyes gleamed in the sunlight, the loose-fitting blue dress styled like the Jedi robes pooling around her long legs as she sat beside Sabé. "Sabé Amidala…as I live and breathe."
Sabé flinched.
"Sorry, that was in poor taste, wasn't it?" Korinth'Kel's lips twitched and Sabé looked away from her to fix her eyes on the scene of peace before her, only to realize it had gone.
They were back in the Temple now, in one of the smaller training rooms, violet and green lightsabers blurring into action.
Sabé was fourteen and white-faced, struggling to match Keelyvine Reus' strikes when she was thrown back suddenly by the Force, colliding painfully with the wall, her lightsabers tumbling from her hands.
"Jar'Kai is not without its drawbacks," Keelyvine warned her, her cheeks not as sharp as they had become, but her lips still painted green as she offered Sabé's younger self a hand to pull herself upright. "Do you know why there are so few practitioners?"
"Because it's incredibly difficult?"
Sabé had been very cheeky that day, she remembered. It had been rather early into her training in the style of Jar'Kai with Keelyvine, back when Sabé had to stumble through katas, blocking Keelyvine's attacks haphazardly in a manner that still made Sabé wince to think about; how things had changed so much since then.
Keelyvine didn't smile. "Because," she said, her eyes sharp and bright, "Jar'Kai practitioners more often rely on their lightsaber skills and not utilizing the Force."
"It's strange, isn't it?" Korinth'Kel said, scrutinizing the scene before her with interest. "Seeing yourself as the young Padawan, still struggling to use Jar'Kai when now you are the master of it."
Sabé's lips thinned into a line. She had never been confident enough to consider herself a master of it, extremely proficient, yes, but a master? Sabé wasn't so sure. The use of two blades was difficult enough that Sabé had chosen to study Form VI, Niman, which had been largely considered a gateway style two dual-bladed combat, one that Keelyvine was incredibly proficient at when they'd first met.
"You don't think you are?"
Sabé's expression soured as she glanced back to Korinth'Kel, noting the knowing glint in her eye. "No," she said finally.
"Why not?" Sabé got the distinct feeling that Korinth'Kel already knew the answer to what she was asking, but was simply waiting to hear Sabé speak.
"I didn't want to overshadow Keelyvine," Sabé said, looking back over to the image of the humanoid Jedi Guardian, watching her younger self go through the necessary stances seriously, watching her carefully to correct her if she saw any mistakes. "Being the Great Guide was something I never wanted…I didn't want her to have to compare herself to me when I know who's more skilled."
"I think you put too much stock in that Great Guide business," Korinth'Kel said, her lips twisting as she rested one hand on her hip. "She doesn't care if you're the Great Guide…she cares for that title about as much as you do. Perhaps there are others in the Temple that like to bring it up more, but those prophecies aren't exactly common knowledge. Don't burn yourself up to provide light to others, that is only a path to destruction."
"Korinth'Kel," Sabé said, shifting her eyes away from the scene to fix on the woman she'd killed, "why are you here?"
"I'm here to help you understand," Korinth'Kel stressed the word, turning swiftly on her heel, her long raven hair tightly bound in leather straps swinging with the movement. "This isn't like all the other times you've suppressed yourself, Sabé, this time you went as far bad as anyone could go, as any Jedi could go, and you haven't yet come to terms with the depth of all that occurred…look."
She was pointing over her shoulder and Sabé turned, eyes wide.
Sabé remembered the scene, it was one of the many memories she was trying very hard not to think about, when Obi-Wan and Anakin had caught Carina by surprise.
Carina's visor of her helmet was fixed on Obi-Wan, catching his lightsaber with one of her own, before blocking Anakin as he rushed forward.
"Now that's interesting," Carina's modulated voice was somewhere caught between amused and intrigued as the helmet tilted to survey the Padawan. "I've never met a Jedi that was so…angry."
Sabé knew it was her voice, but she didn't like the way Carina had focused in on Anakin's anger, something which had always been a sore point for Anakin, especially when the other Jedi brought attention to it.
"You're wearing the face of a friend of mine," Anakin's voice was furious, spit through clenched teeth.
"You're deluded, boy," Carina replied, unimpressed as she lifted a finger wrapped around each lightsaber, sending both flying backwards with the Force, something that didn't deter Anakin as much as it did Obi-Wan, rushing forward to meet her once more. "This is my face."
"You're Sabé Amidala," he said with absolute certainty and Sabé winced even as he managed to force her back with enough force to knock off her helmet and send her lightsabers flying.
Carina turned back to him, yellow eyes exposed and furious and then she extended a hand, clenching it like a claw and Anakin clutched at his throat as he was lifted into the air.
"Carina did a lot of terrible things," Korinth'Kel said beside her as Sabé watched it play out, a frown on her lips, a fist clenched tight around her heart, "she came very close to killing Anakin, a boy you've helped Obi-Wan raise, a boy who goes to you when he can't go to anyone else, because you two have a shared experience as Jedi that have prophecies about them."
Sabé sank down to sit on the ground, pulling her legs up to her chest, trying to make herself as small as possible.
It seemed like so long ago when Sabé was firmly against taking life as a Jedi, Yoda's teachings so ingrained in her that to consider anything else would've been incomprehensible.
But Sabé wasn't like Jedi like Yoda or Bultar Swan who was very respected as a Jedi that had never killed an opponent. Sabé had done a lot of things that she wasn't proud of.
"Acceptance is the first step," Korinth'Kel said gently. "I know how much you love to suppress memories, but that choice is beyond you."
Sabé pressed her hand to her face, hiding her eyes beneath her hand.
"It's time to remember," Korinth'Kel continued in the same tone. "It's time to remember everything."
So Sabé opened her mind and did.
Jobal and Ruwee liked Talik, that much could be said. They knew it couldn't have been easy to temporarily leave the Order that she had been a part of for so many years in order to help nurse her master back to health. For that, she had their undying gratitude.
"She looks better today," Ruwee mentioned to the young Twi'lek who was filtering nutrients into the bacta to be absorbed through the skin. It was the best way for a coma patient submerged to gain nutrients that were usually administered via intake of food. "How soon do you think she'll wake up?"
Talik pressed a few buttons on the side of the bacta tank before looking back to him with an easy expression.
"I couldn't really say." It'd been two weeks already since their arrival to Naboo before moving along to Varykino. "She's now about as healthy as she was before we put her in the tank the first time around…I can't really say to the status of her mind…I suppose we could try to bring her out of the bacta, but the last time that was tried it caused her too much pain."
Talik was too wary about causing Sabé more pain than she'd already experienced.
"What's the probability of her waking up?" she asked loudly.
Arthree was plugged into the wall next to the bacta tank, as close as he could possibly be to his mistress without draining his battery completely like he had before, and his domed head swiveled to the hulking black security droid in the corner of the room.
"There is a statistical likelihood of induction of pain if removed too early from the bacta tank," Jay-Seven said blandly and Arthree beeped angrily.
Primary objective: preservation of life of SabéAmidala
Currently achieved.
Removal from bacta tank will result in objective not achieved.
Arthree wasn't usually so literal in binary, Sabé had had that effect on him, but he did slip from time to time.
Talik dropped a hand to pat Arthree's head. "Don't worry, Arthree," she assured the astromech, "we're trying to make this as painless as possible for Sabé."
Arthree gave a doleful hoot.
Ruwee was aware that his eldest daughter had an R3 astromech unit, but the security droid was an irksome surprise, but it didn't do all that much, other than offering an occasional remark.
"She'll wake up eventually," Talik assured Ruwee with a half-smile, "don't worry."
Ruwee wished he had as much faith was Talik.
The Council of First Knowledge's council chamber was empty in her mind, and Sabé honestly preferred that more, not after all the memories had bombarded her and she recalled what it had been like to be trapped in her own head.
Bodies and ash, that was what the temple had been reduced to in her mind's eye, and try as she might, it wasn't really an image she could erase.
"Why did you show me this?" she asked the Force and the Force remained silent.
She remembered a similar dream when she'd been but a child, of a man in a dark cloak with yellow eyes cutting down younglings. When she'd been younger, she'd always been rather certain that the figure had belonged that that of a man, but now she was less sure.
The Carina in her mind was young and identical to how Sabé had looked so many years ago, and her words still haunted Sabé.
"We will meet again," Carina had said, and it made Sabé's right arm ache where the metal was sealed against her skin.
Sabé slumped back in the chair that had once been hers, her hand still covering her eyes.
It felt like Sabé Amidala the member of the Council of First Knowledge was someone else, that it was a life that had since passed.
"How do you feel?"
Sabé didn't have to open her eyes to know that Korinth'Kel had appeared at her side once more. Sabé didn't know what to make of her old friend. The Jedi didn't believe in living on after death…so was she a creation of Sabé's own mind? A tormenting guide to help Sabé sort herself out?
Even Sabé wasn't sure.
"Terrible," Sabé said throatily, emotion clogging her throat and Korinth'Kel's hand was cold against her free one, as cold as Sabé now remembered her own skin being during her time as a Sith, it was an effect that the Dark Side had.
"Sabé, open your eyes."
Brown eyes opened and Sabé slowly dropped her hand to fix her eyes on Korinth'Kel's.
"The Great Guide and the Chosen One may have a connection, yes," Korinth'Kel agreed solemnly in a tone of serenity that only a Jedi Seer could possess, a tone that Sabé had never quite managed to replicate, no matter how hard she had tried. "Maybe their fates are tangled together, or maybe you are meant to be a guide towards a different kind of thinking…to the potential that the Jedi can be."
Sabé had never liked being the Great Guide, it was a title that she felt had never suited her, particularly with how the High Council had always regarded her, like an experiment they were waiting to explode.
"Perhaps you were not meant to be a perfect Jedi," Korinth'Kel suggested instead. "But perhaps you were not meant to be a perfect Sith, either."
"I've never been one for perfection," Sabé said, still looking at Korinth'Kel, remembering how blank and void of life they'd been when Sabé and Korinth'Kel had crossed paths.
That was how Sabé had left her. And after what she remembered of Carina's brief life, she couldn't help but think that destruction coursed in her veins.
"Then you're already half-way there!" A smile lit Korinth'Kel's pale face. "You need to take time to figure out who you are, Sabé, and if the Jedi don't want you, they don't deserve you."
A faint smile twisted Sabé's lips and she closed her eyes briefly before reopening them to a new scene.
It was the Aldera Ball on Alderaan, the last mission she had completed before becoming Carina.
Sabé's self was easy to pick out in the crowd, in that dress of hers that Padmé had so graciously lent her.
Obi-Wan's hand was resting on the small of her back as he pointed her towards where Queen Breha and her husband Senator Bail Organa. Sabé's skin still tingled where his hand had touched her bare back.
She brought her violet 'saber up to block a blaster bolt and chaos spread like wildfire…and then Sabé's self forced a small blaster on Obi-Wan and gave him a swift kiss before dashing off.
"Now, that was daring, even for your tastes," Korinth'Kel said slyly, causing Sabé's fluttering heart to calm as her expression soured. "But I suppose you could do worse…still, Kenobi's about as firm a Jedi as they come, it's kind of tough to imagine him being for a secret relationship."
Sabé frowned. "It wasn't about him," she said and Korinth'Kel smirked.
"Oh, it was kind of about him." Her pale eyes were glittering. "I remember how flustered you used to get when we were younglings, Sabé, don't forget that."
Pink suffused across Sabé's cheeks, much to her dismay. "That doesn't mean anything," she grumbled to herself, "everyone made me flustered back then." Which was very true; Sabé had always been embarrassed easily as a child, and the fact that Obi-Wan was cute had only made it worse.
"Your theory has been proven," Korinth'Kel added, jarring Sabé from her thoughts, "a Jedi can love and be effective in the Order."
"I think it might have to do with the person," Sabé said, unimpressed. She may have been a good Jedi despite her love for Obi-Wan, but she was also remarkably easy-going, taking things as they came; it was why she was a great Jedi Shadow.
"Still, it must hurt to wonder whether or not he feels the same way." Korinth'Kel's voice gentled.
Sabé remembered how he'd looked at Siri Tachi. She remembered how he'd left the Order for Cerasi. She remembered the look in his eye when he thought about Satine Kryze.
It did hurt to start with, but Sabé had come to accept it over time. Perhaps they were better suited for being friends, and that was something that Sabé could live with.
So Sabé gave the merest shrug that must've been far more telling to Korinth'Kel's critical eye than she'd been going for.
"You're just full of wisdom, aren't you?"
Korinth'Kel's smile widened. "I'm just here to make sure you fully understand everything."
Sabé didn't see how her love-life, or lack thereof, was something she needed to understand.
"Things are changing, Sabé Amidala, you are changing." Korinth'Kel's eyes gave off an unearthly glow, like two moons grafted to her eye sockets. "Your choice of your own fate lies ahead of you. You could lose all that you have. You could gain all that you haven't."
"Very cryptic," Sabé replied, her voice flat.
"The Force so often is," Korinth'Kel said and Sabé blinked, standing in surprise, because the space where Korinth'Kel had once stood was now void of her person.
Sabé couldn't find herself to really be all that surprised. She looked down at her feet only to stare at the symbol that was the circle at the center of the chamber. In the chambers of the respective spires of the Jedi Temple, it was the stylized starbird, the symbol of the Jedi Order, to show that no matter how many times the Sith had attempted to destroy the Jedi, they still rose from the ashes like the starbird that renewed itself in a nova…or so the legend went.
In its stead was a different crest.
It was thick black and white, circular and shaped not unlike gears.
Sabé frowned. It was familiar, she'd seen it before, but her vision was growing fuzzy, like looking through water.
She narrowed her eyes further, but it didn't help.
"I'm afraid," a young voice echoed in the silence and she twisted around trying to find the source, but there was no one there. The voice was male but far too young to be Anakin…it belonged to someone her ears didn't recognize.
"Good," came her own voice. "Fear keeps you alive, keeps you moving. Just so long as you control it and don't let it control you."
What?
Sabé's head ached. Was this a vision of sorts? Like the kind she'd seen when she dreamed before? Like what she'd seen within the depths of her own mind while playing the part of Carina?
"It's time to wake up," a whisper came to her ear and even Sabé didn't know who had said it.
She closed her eyes and the Temple faded away.
Sabé opened her eyes, her eyelids fluttering a few times before she jolted.
She was…underwater, she was definitely underwater.
There was a breathing mask situated over her face, bringing in oxygen so that she didn't suffocate from breathing in the water. Her unease flared briefly as she brought her hands up to smooth over the glass she was trapped within.
It was cylindrical, exactly how a bacta tank was shaped.
Of course.
Sabé tilted her head back to look at the top of the tank that had been sealed.
Not for long.
Sabé contemplated the Force but then she saw the fuzzy image of Arthree beyond the glass. She grinned behind the oxygen mask; he hadn't deactivated himself to rest yet, which meant he was still active, and he would definitely notice if she tried to get his attention.
She tapped the glass. Nothing. The astromech didn't even acknowledge the sound.
Sabé frowned.
She tapped louder and this time Arthree took notice, twisting him domed head around in order to see her and his processor state indicator lit up blue as he gave a loud beep.
Sabé pointed up towards the top of the bacta tank and the astromech gave an affirmative beep, rolling over to the side of the tank that controlled everything.
Now if Sabé could only make it out of the tank without damaging herself…that would great.
There was a twinge in the back of Talik's mind, and then there was a heaviness on her chest, like the air was harder to take in…after so long being in that bacta tank it was going to take some…time to…get used to…
Talik froze at the stray thought, whipping her head around so fast that her lekku went flying, almost hitting Sola as she did so.
"Talik? Something wrong?" Sola looked up from trying to convince her youngest child to eat.
But Talik was already out of her chair and rushing down the hall to the room that had been set aside for Sabé's bacta tank.
She could hear Arthree's excited twittering and a remarked statistic from Jay-Seven before she even crossed the threshold of the door and then she stalled, unable to stop staring.
Sabé had her only hand gripping Jay-Seven's shoulder-plate tightly, his metallic arm holding her up as she blinked her eyes –brown and soft, such a contrast from the previous yellow and such a relief–, clearly disoriented.
"You have been in a coma for one standard month," Jay-Seven informed Sabé as Arthree milled about at her feet. "That you're fully cognizant is a statistical anomaly."
Her light laugh was music to Talik's ears. "As charming as ever, Jay, don't worry, I had a little help."
"M-Master," Talik choked on the title and Sabé turned her head to look to her, eyes practically drinking in the sight of her.
"Talik," Sabé said, trying to take a step forward, but her legs couldn't quite hold her, not yet, and it was only by Jay-Seven's hold on her that she didn't crumple into a pile.
Talik stumbled forward numbly until she was close enough for Sabé reach a hand out to cup her cheek and Talik held her master's hand there.
"You've grown," Sabé said and Talik wanted to cry. It was Sabé Amidala's face and her eyes and her smile, and it was so easy to forget how much she'd missed her.
Talik leaned her forehead against Sabé's. "I missed you," she said wetly, winding her arms around her and squeezing her tightly.
"And I missed you, my darling."
And it was as if no time had passed, but so much had changed and soon Talik would have to tell Sabé all that had happened with the High Council…but not right now. Right now, she was just going to bask in the knowledge that Sabé was back, safe and relatively well.
AN: Korinth'Kel is a very interesting character and its almost sad that you guys only got to see a brief amount of her during the fic, but what're you going to do?
I liked the idea of Sabé slowly rationalizing the crimes she committed as Carina, so there's still more to see of that.
As always: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!
