THAT'S A CAAAAAAR-

Eh? Wait, no, that's not… Why is the world suddenly dark all of a sudden? Wait, where the heck is my body? What…

[Player status achieved. Player's mind activating…]

I feel calm now… What? Player's mind? I don't…

Hello random people. You've been randomly selected to become a hero player in version 3.0 of the PvP system by Fair and Balanced Incorporated. The rules are simple, you must kill the other player, the villain player, before they kill you. Cooperation between the 2 players is strictly forbidden. Your reward for winning is freedom, to lose is to lose any freedom you once had.

Now, create your vessel.

[Species]

[Class]

[Modifiers]

[Starting Advantage]

[Difficulty]

[Name]

Huh? PvP system? Players? What are you… Wait a minute, I vaguely remember a friend telling me something about… Gamer fics? Where it was basically an… Isekai, if I remember correctly, where someone becomes overpowered or something…

...I should've listened to Mike. He was the fanfiction guy, he would've liked this a lot more than I would. His information would help me a lot right now…

Ah, enough moping though, I was… Pretty okay at RPG games, and I was playing a lot of Genshin Impact before my… Oh, I died. It's only hitting me now that….

And again, that odd feeling of anxiety just disappears… Was that something Mike told me about? Uh… Gamer's mind? I think?

...I should just pick something.

Species

Decide what you want to become.

[Human - Basic human, the ones who rule the multiverse because they were here first. +3 stat points per level up.]

[Random x3 - Picking this option will show 3 non-human options, but doing so will lock you from choosing human]

Huh… I mean… They said it was a PvP thing, so that means I need to fight another person, so I should take any advantage possible… And picking out of 3 does sound pretty good… Well, I'll take the risk.

Random option chosen. Please pick 1.

[Magical Pony - From My Little Pony, one of the developers of FaBI won a bet to make these creatures stupidly overpowered. - +3 Int and Wis per level, +7 stat points per level.]

[Automaton - A robot, what else do you want to hear? - Increased production/crafting efficiency, +5 End per level, +5 stat points per level.]

[Pigman - A humanoid pig from hell. - Increased fire affinity. +4 stat points per level.]

Reading through all of these, I found one average among all of these weird and wacky species I could become.

They're all a lot stronger than the human option… I wonder if that was intentional? As if this is some kind of reward for being a bit bold…

Still though, a pony? It's clearly the best option here but… Eugh. I just can't bring myself to become a pony… I guess the next best option is… The automaton, robots are pretty cool.

You have chosen to become an [Automaton]

Now, create your vessel.

Ooh, I can do a lot now… Uh, let's see here… I can do basically anything! It just needs to be a robot, and it works! Ooh, let's see here, what kind of robot do I want to be…

After a few minutes, I made a robot body that was almost like Wonder of U from JoJo part 9. It had a nice black suit, a bowler hat, scarf, and that weird microphone face. It looked pretty good! The slight downside was that the clothing and hat was all robotic, but hey, what can I do about that?

Well, I'm done with that.

Class

Pick your starting class.

[Warrior], [Mage], [Rogue], [Ranger], [Support]

You may choose a 2nd class at level 30.

Huh, seems normal… Now let's check one… Oh wow, that's a lot of options, just for warrior too… Mage also has way too many options… Rogue and ranger less so, but that's still a good amount of options…

Support though, one caught my eye.

[Engineer - A production class focused on technology. +2 Int and +1 wis per level.]

A production class based on technology? And I'm an automaton who gets a bonus on production? And the fact that I'm also a robot? Going for a production class for my starting class may sound a bit hazardous, but that's a risk I'm willing to take.

You have chosen [Engineer] as your starting class.

Modifiers

You may take a random modifier that may positively or negatively impact your experience.

[Hero Player] [Engineer] [Automaton] [World]

...I vaguely remember Mike talking about traits and flaws, and this seems a bit different than that… Hm, I guess a few shouldn't be bad…

Hero Player

[Developer Aid (Jaeger) - Due to losing a bet, Jaeger from Fair and Balanced Incorporated will now serve as your system.]

...Who?

And then I was like, "Funniest shit I've ever-"

Wait a minute, who dis.

...Hello? Are you… Jaeger?

Wait a minute- OH FUCKING DAMN IT I THOUGHT WE DITCHED THIS ONE!

...Hi?

...Hi.

...Are you, um, going to elaborate?

Later, do your own thing for now, let me check to make sure this is all right…

...Okay, uh then… I'll try the engineer modifier?

Engineer

[Mass Replicable - Once you create an object once, it becomes extremely cheaper to produce again, despite physics not working like that.]

That one… Is pretty good! Being able to save resources in any situation is super good, so this is a big win for me. Ah, the next one is for automaton…

[Broken Speech - Whenever you speak, your tone is inconsistent, some words will turn into other words, and it will be somewhat hard for the unprepared to understand you.]

That one… Is extremely not good. My social skills went flying straight down…

...What if I wanted to open up some kind of business? How am I supposed to get buyers if I can't speak properly? Ah… You win some, you lose some.

Well, next… is the mysterious world option. I hope that isn't too bad…

[Infinite Waypoint Creator - You may create an infinite amount of waypoints for you to use that allows you to teleport between waypoints.]

...Wait, this is actually super cracked. That's basically like an infinite teleportation device. I don't have to walk any super far distances after I get there once!

That's a miracle for any resource gathering quests!

And honestly… I'm not feeling up to gamble anymore. I got 1 bad thing, 2 good thing, and 1… Thing that's still in question. I'm done here…

Starting Advantage.

Something that will help you in your journey straight away. Helps you not die in the first week.

[Resource Finder - A skill that pinpoints all nearby useful resources in your nearby area.]

Ooh, that's basically an extra modifier… That's cool. Alright now the next thing is… My name-

Welp, I guess I'm stuck with you now.

You're back?

Yeah, for the long term too. Long story short, I placed a bet and I lost, so in return this modifier was put into the system back during the 2.0 days, but it never came up in a player's run, so it was called that I got away with it… And then they never bothered to remove the damn thing, so now I'm here.

...That must suck, huh?

...Yeah.

Uh, introductions I guess. I haven't decided my name yet, but I'm an engineer automaton, and what are you?

Are you really doing the icebreaker thing from like, elementary school?

Look, we're going to be stuck with each other for a while, no need to get pissed at each other already, okay?

Fair enough. I'm Jaeger, name taken from Eren Jaeger, all my co-workers swear it's spelt Yeager, but I tell them to go fuck themselves when they tell me that. I mainly do work for the villain player modifiers and the warrior class, and then some miscellaneous work here and there where they need me.

Jaeger huh… Tatacaw?

GO FUCK YOURSELF 139 WAS A RETCON FLOCH WAS RIGHT 80% WAS BS-

...Sorry?

I'm seconds away from killing you myself.

I'll never mention it again.

Fine, let's do difficulty then, actually, no, I'm putting it to normal. I'm not letting you decide that one.

You have chosen [Normal] difficulty.

Why not? I mean, I would've picked normal too, but... You know what, I'll put that aside.

Good. Now, let's pick out a name. You can basically name yourself anything, but the more popular names like the Shiro or some anime characters are going to have you doing a lot of spiderman pointing at spiderman shenanigans in the future, and is definitely going to end up in you and that other person having a fight.

So, you know, pick a somewhat unique name. There's a random option if you need it.

I… See. In that case… How about Cereal?

...What?

Cereal, you know, like the food. I don't think anyone would pick that name if they weren't high, so it's probably pretty unique.

...I… Wait a minute, let me check.

Ah… How I wish to eat some food again.

Well, Cereal is, in fact, a name for a FEW people. Although, considering one just shit-talked our CEO, I don't think they're going to be alive for much longer. You're probably good with taking Cereal.

Ah, sweet! Wait a minute, what was that about your CEO-

You have chosen the name [Cereal] as your name.

Placing you onto your world…


Oof, ow, that's weird…

Yeah, we get that a lot. By the way, you automatically know how to use your system, so I'd suggest you'd take a look at your stats and inventory before we go further.

Uh, alright, so let me see here… Stats.

Stats

Cereal

Hero Player

Automaton

Class: Engineer

Level 1 [Exp: 0/50]

Hp: 200/200

Mp: 55/55

Sp: 750/750

Regen: X*1 per minute for all.

Stats

Vit: 10 [20 Hp per Vit]

Str: 10

Dex: 10

Int: 12

Wis: 11 [5 Mp per Wis]

End: 15 [50 Sp per End]

Luk: 10

SA: Resource Finder

Modifiers: Developer Aid, Broken Speech, Mass Replication, Infinite Waypoint Creator.

Skills and Abilities: …

[Hero Player's Mind - A modified version of Gamer's Mind. Allows for a mostly calm state of mind. Will subconsciously pressure you to do more heroic deeds.]

[Hero Player's Body - A modified version of Gamer's Body. Creates an invisible barrier around the player that is their physical damage is transferred to the barrier, so the player will look unharmed in most cases. Can be disabled to obey the laws of physics. Enemies you fight will also work based on video-game logic. If at an equal or below level, disabling Player's Body will also disable their Character's Body.]

[Create Item 1 (Common) - Create a basic mechanical item using resources you own.]

[Create Waypoint - Creates a waypoint for free that you can use to teleport with. No cooldown.]

That's a big wall of text… Wait, 750 Sp!? That's… Stamina.

Ah, I'm a robot. That makes more sense now.

Speaking of which, looking down… Huh, making myself look human also made me feel a bit more human, although… I can somewhat feel my insides, and I don't know how to feel about that.

Is it bad that I just now realized you're a hero player.

...I just noticed after you told me.

Well, it can't be that bad, can it?

I'm more of a villain myself.

I see the problem now… Uh, in other news, you seemed to have… Calmed down a bit.

I don't get angry for very long, that would be really bad considering how much shit I get for being named Jaeger.

That bad, huh?

Yep, by the way, thoughts on your starting skills?

The mind and body and creating? They're good, what else do I need to say?

Eh, fair enough. Continue on, then.

Alright then, inventory.

[System Explanation - A device used to create a holographic screen to explain the PvP system to anyone listening.]

[Starter's Bench - A standard crafting bench issued to all production classes. Can be placed and picked up wherever.]

Huh… That's neat. Hey Jaeger, is the system explanation useful for me?

Not really, it was put in the last system when Skryb, our CEO by the way, beat the shit out of all of us so he can mess with the system some more, and this is one of the things that stuck around.

...Your CEO beat the shit out of… All of you?

Our CEO is uh… How do I put this… He's kind of a big bitch. But right now, he's probably the strongest gamer on this section of the gaming multiverse, so we can't really do anything about it, so we all kind of tolerate him.

Sounds like a… Interesting individual.

Yeah, he… Sure is.

Alright, now that that conversation is over, let me finally take a look at my surroundings and… Oh my god it's beautiful.

The deep blue sky, the green rolling hills, the forest in the distance…

Yeah, this place does look pretty good. Our world development team didn't need to do much work here.

...Who?

Ah, yeah, our world development team. To keep things simple, I might explain them in more detail in the future, but the standard system most gamers get out of the void is kind of shit, so the worlds that get created are just… Slightly off, you know. Maybe a few weird conversations here, a smidge of the wrong color there, but it feels… Fake.

Add to that, the standard system is super uninteresting and, although it gets people strong fast, there's a cap on it.

Fortunately, the first ones here were smart enough to break the cap and make their own gamer systems, which lead to a whole other mess which I'm not going to go into.

Uh, basically, the "normal" system worlds were bad, so our world development team made them better.

Y'know, despite the fact that it was so much work, the world development team is now known as hell.

...Wow, send them my deepest condolences.

Not even Skryb messes with those guys often, they're doing god's work.

They sure are…

Looking at the distance a bit, admiring the view a bit more, I spot a large... Something resembling civilization on a big... Island, that's on a big lake, and I absently realize I'm on a big mountain… Overlooking this valley that's looking into a huge forest and the nearby massive lake...

...This view reminds me of something…

...Mondstadt?

Ding ding ding, you've already figured out the world we're in. I'm so proud of you.

Mike, I should've listened to your blabbering on fanfictions and stuff. I have absolutely no fucking idea what I'm going to do.


An:

Behold, my recent imaginations and impulse thinking about Spamton from Undertale, Wonder of U from JoJo, Eren from AoT, and playing a lot of Genshin Impact since April of 2021, has led to the creation of this fic.

Cereal goes on an adventure in Genshin Impact with his good developer friend, Jaeger, as a robot.

Do I have a plan? Absolutely not. Am I going to ever finish this fic, or the other fic I'm working on? Idk.

Also, how tf do I tag this on Ao3. It's Jaeger, but technically just a dude LARPing as Eren. The Mc looks like WoU, but only in looks. He talks like Spamton, and probably makes deals like Spamton, but is nothing like Spamton.

...I'm going to regret this.

Also, you'd think that as basically a waifu simulator and a very big and largely pretty good game, that there'd be a lot of gamer fics here, but I could only find like 1. So, I place down my flag here and claim that I was here as one of the first gamer fics for Genshin Impact. (Although, if you happen to know any other gamer fics here, would be cool to tell me.)

This also counts as practice towards my "Making shit up" skills, because I can't come up with interesting scenarios to save my life.

Well, leave a review or comment or something to tell me whether or not this is a good idea.

[Look, this fic won't last 50k words, ok Skryb? This is a good idea! - My brain pitching the idea to me.]

[I was rereading this and I already found a mistake. This is foreshadowing if I ever saw it.]

[I was thinking about this some more, and I made more edits. Go me.]