Cereal
Ah, right, I should place down a waypoint here, let's see here…
[Waypoint created.]
And a floating transparent golden waypoint appears right in front of me, just like the game…
Well, I think I lucked out here, considering I spent a good amount of time playing Genshin Impact, although Mondstadt looks massive from over here… And the forest… And this area in general…
Oh right, I was supposed to give you a quest for this lol.
You what?
For finding out the world we're in. You usually get basic knowledge of the plot as a reward, but considering you've played the game already, I don't think you need it.
I can't believe they removed the automated questing system just to spite me, my coworkers are jerks.
Quest obtained.
Quest 1 or something
Go to mondstadt
Go to mondstadt you cereal
Reward: idk, 50 exp?
That… Wait, could you just give me any reward?
Wait a minute.
Quest obtained.
Testing
Beat up something idk
Reward: 1 exp
Oh nope it cancelled me out.
Ah, that's a bit of a shame.
I really want to get this over with… Wait, could you speak out loud for a few sentences?
Eh, why?
It'd be a shame if you'd get caught off guard on your first conversation, especially since you aren't human.
I looked down at myself.
Ah, yes, how could I have forgotten that… Extremely obvious thing. Alright, fine, let me think…
"HEY! MY [CODE NAME] IS CEREAL!"
...What.
HEHE… haha…
Don't laugh at my misfortune! What the heck was that?! I was trying to say my name, and it translated to that?!
And your completely removed face while saying it… HeHe…
We're going off topic, though, let's go to Mondsta- Oh, right, robot body.
...Jaeger, help me.
Well, luckily for you, we've got just the thing! Open your menu.
...My what.
Your menu.
...You told me to open my stats and inventory earlier… BUT NOT THE MENU?!
LOOK I FORGET THINGS OFTEN OKAY?!
YOU CALL YOURSELF A DEVELOPER?!
Just open it lol.
Ok.
[Stats]
[Inventory]
[Quests]
[Patch Notes]
[Dungeons]
[Locked until level 15]
[Help]
[Feedback]
So… Were you going to tell me about any of this?
Shut up and press the dungeons menu.
Nah, give me a moment.
Feedback
[Type feedback here]
Cereal, what are you doing.
Insulting you, just a small smidge, nothing to worry about.
[Can I please get a different developer for my modifier please.]
Feedback sent.
Cereal you fucking dinner food.
DINNER WHAT NOW?!
You're unfit for breakfast.
You stupid stupid developer-
If it wasn't for gamer's mind making me somewhat reasonable, I would've just left you.
Yeah, you're right, player's mind is kind of okay, but it's nice.
"Kind of okay, but it's nice."?
I- you know what, sure, whatever. Let's just go to the dungeon menu.
[Solo Dungeon]
[Co-op dungeon] [Unlocked at level 15]
Ah yes, I remember the days when I was a new gamer, going into the dungeon for the first time…
Sure, just don't get all 'back in my day' on me.
Oh nah, your days are much better than mine. Like I said earlier, the standard system we got was shit. Actually, funny story, we give out those standard systems to people who go out to their own places, just to spite them as if "wow, I can't believe you wouldn't join us."
...You guys sound like assholes.
We are.
Not apologetic at all, huh… Well, solo dungeon it is.
[Opening solo dungeon.]
?
"Should we… Get Jaeger back?"
"Eh, nah. He should've gone back to get rid of the modifier himself instead of trusting me to remove it for him."
"...Sure, then, remind me to not trust you to do anything, then."
Cereal
This place looks pretty cool. It's some kind of enchanted forest, the enchanted mushrooms and stuff looked wicked…
Quest obtained.
Dungeon 1
Finish the dungeon by defeating the boss at the end.
Bonus Objective: Beat the dungeon without using your weapon.
Reward: 100 exp, 1 gacha token.
Bonus Reward: 300 exp, 1 gacha token.
Oh, thank you?
It's just the normal quest everyone gets, although I have to manually give it to you…
Oh, I'm sure it's just backbreaking to do… Hey, what the heck do you do inside the system anyways?
Eh, it's just a room, honestly. Cool monitors around here. Also, that reminds me, let me see here…
Item obtained.
[Summonstone (Jaeger, The Attack Titan) (Developer) - Summons Jaeger to your world when broken.]
Hah?
Apparently, the boys were nice enough to let me give you some things. So this is your get out of jail free card. Also, don't use it against the other player, I'm legally barred from killing them.
...Thank you?
No problem. Now gettem, you breakfast food.
...Thank you. Also, I'd like to point out that if this world is set before the invention of cereal, I could transform the word cereal from a breakfast food to a real… Myth? Hero? I dunno.
Yeah, I'm sure the guys at headquarters would get a kick out of people naming their kids "Cereal" after the legendary engineer, "Cereal" lmaoooooo.
It's a valid idea, alright? Now let's get to this dungeo-
Common sense had finally hit me.
How am I going to fight the enemies? I have no combat spells or abilities…
Punch.
Pu- Wait a minute, I'm made out of metal…
Yeah, genius. You gave yourself hands, use them.
Okay, I admit, I'm sometimes an idiot.
"Sometimes"
SOMETIMES. Yes, however, look, I look cool, right?
Yeah, you do look pretty cool, despite just ripping off Wonder of U. Really befitting the name of "Cereal" LMAOOOOOOO.
...Do you really say 'lmao' out loud?
Lmao yeah.
I… Have no words. I'm just going to… Follow this extremely convenient path and find the boss.
And then a mushroom man appears out of nowhere.
Magic Mushroom
NPC
Level 1
Hp: 25
Stats:
Str: 2
Int: 3
End: 1
This seems easy! Alright, now, how do I-
And then the mushroom runs towards me. I had done it again, I forgot this isn't a turn-based world. I hate myself sometimes.
And as the mushroom bumps into my chest-
1 damage taken.
Cereal [Hp: 199/200]
That… Didn't feel like anything.
This is the part where you punch the enemy?
Oh! Right.
So then I punched the mushroom in the head. With both my arms in succession.
15 damage dealt x2.
You have killed the enemy.
And then the mushroom guy dissipates into smoke… Huh, what an odd experience. Also, first victory, woohoo.
Man, did I have to be stuck with such a dumbass?
I'm only PRETENDING to be retarded, jackass!
PRETENDING TO BE RETARDED LMAOOOOO HAHAHAHAH I CAN'T.
Look, we'll find the boss, and I'll show you how good I am, alright?
Hehehehe okay sure hahahahaha.
Asshole…
And then another random mushroom appears in front of me.
Fortunately, I punch fast, and the mob goes down fast. Well, not having any attacking limits is pretty useful…
Alright, I think I got the basics down. The rest should be a breeze.
After a few more mobs and a bit more walking, I finally see the boss.
Mushroom MobMob
Boss NPC
Hp: 100
Stats:
Str: 5
Int: 5
End: 3
Alright, this should be simple. My fists do 15 damage every hit, and 100 divided by 15 is like… 7 or something, so this should be simple.
I rush towards the boss, fists forward and before the fist lands, the mushroom guy… Blocks it with his own hand?!
Attack blocked.
It can do that?!
And then with its other hand, while I was caught off guard, punched my own head with a lot of force.
5 damage taken.
Cereal [Hp: 195/200]
That's… A lot less than what I was expecting, but still! The heck?!
You seem surprised by the fact that our esteemed NPCs created by the world development team can use their brains.
...True.
5 damage taken.
Ah, it's hitting me again…
I suggest punching him.
Yeah, you're right.
This time, I throw another punch, which gets blocked, and then I throw my other fist… Which also gets blocked.
So then I headbutted him.
20 damage dealt.
Mushroom MobMob [Hp: 80/100]
Wait, 20? Don't mind if I do. Slamming my head some more, I get the ideal outcome.
Dungeon boss has been killed. Exit portal has been open. You will obtain your rewards when you are outside.
Damn bro, hat damage.
Hat damage? I might've gotten brain damage after using my beautiful head… Wait, is there a difference in my hat and head?
Don't worry bro, you're all just one big object, that's why your scarf doesn't move.
...Yikes, there goes the idea of tipping my hat or something.
Ah, rip, that does sound nice… Well, go through the big green portal now, chop chop.
Dungeon completed. Quest completed.
You have obtained rewards: 500 exp, 2 gacha tokens.
You have leveled up 6x [1 to 7] [Exp: 32/94]
End: 15 to 45 [Sp: 2,250]
Int: 12 to 24
Wis: 11 to 17 [Mp: 85]
You have obtained 30 stat points.
Vit: 10 to 40 [Hp: 800]
You have obtained skills: Create Recipe 1. Disassemble Object.
[Create Recipe 1 - Allows you to create a basic item recipe.]
[Disassemble Object - disassembles an object as long as your intelligence and dexterity is high enough for the complexity or strength of the object.]
Hey Jaeger.
Yeah?
Is this legal?
Absolutely fucking not. That's why we're here.
Wait what?
Something else, don't worry about it. This is all… An intended part of the game! Now, uh, go to Mondstadt or something.
Yeah, sure, okay… So how do I get off this cliff?
Sure, this is a great and wonderful view, and it looks like it's still morning but this is a massive cliff…
Might I suggest going backwards, then?
Looking backwards, I see some hills and plains… And a somewhat worn road.
Ah, I see, I'm dumb.
"""""""""Only pretending to be retarded"""""
Jaeger, I'm going to need you to shut up. Like, seriously.
Lol no. I'm stuck here for a while, I'm going to enjoy myself here.
Get stuck in my-
"Um, Klee thinks she found someone…?" A small girlish voice suddenly rang out, stopping my thoughts in its tracks.
And lo and behold in my field of vision, I see- HOLY WHAT?!
Klee
Canon Character
Level 85
Vision: Pyro
Hp: 1,500/1,500
Stats:
Str: 35
Dex: 20
Int: 30
Wis: 10
End: 15
Luk: 40
LEVEL 85?!
Hm, maybe we should've added back in that power level thing we had before…
Klee had a curious look on her face as she stared at me, "Um, what are you?"
"I…" I said before stopping. My broken speech! I'm going to sound like a clown!
Klee did seem surprised by the sudden voice though, "You can talk! Are you… A surprise from Mister Kaeya?"
Alright, I need to make an informed and rational decision about this… How about…
"HEY [LIGHTENER]! MY [CODE NAME] IS CEREAL! HOW GOOD IS IT TO FINALLY [SEE] YOU!"
Something completely neutral, just my name, and a nice greeting…
Klee smiled for some reason, "Wow! You talk funny! My name is Klee! This is dodoco!"
She showed off a little… Rabbit? Doll thing that was on her little backpack to me, it was kind of cute, actually.
Wait, no, off topic, how do I not get blown up by a terrorist, uh…
"WELL [KID]! IT'S BEEN NICE MEETING YOU, BUT I'VE GOT TO GET TO [STORE]! SEE YOU LATER [LIGHTENER]!"
I started running towards the road, down the little area that looked like it led below, leading toward the lake and the statue of the seven in the middle of it. I believe that was a… Success?
Hilarious.
Jaeger, shut.
Klee
Wow! That person was really cool! He looked cool, he sounded cool… Um, what was his name?
Uhh… Ce...Real? Cereal? That sounds weird…
He used all these funny words too! Maybe Jean will let her see him more!
...Wait, did mister Cereal go running towards… Oh no! She didn't fully bury her treasures yet because she got distracted by something pretty! She can't let him see where she buried her treasure!
An:
"So, brain, how strong is Klee?"
"Level 85."
"Eh, fair."
I hope Klee didn't feel TOO out of character, I haven't checked her dialogue in a while. As for why she's somehow here… Eh, Mondstadt is just a short hour or two away here or something, I'm sure it's fine.
So, the next chapter… I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to do with that. Maybe dismantle a few stones or something, craft a weapon, something.
So anyways, leave a review or comment or something.
