"I-I can't believe it! Shiro-kun… he… WAHHHH! You need to seek justice for me, nii-sama!"

Abarai Renji watched with boggled eyes when he witnessed his captain, Kuchiki Byakuya, sigh.

Kuchiki Byakuya had sighed. That never happens, ever.

"What did you do this time?"

"I-I know his height is a sore topic for Shiro-kun so I changed all of his shoes to platform shoes! AND THEN HE SACKED ME OF THE POSITION AFTER HE LEARNED OF IT! I was simply being a thoughtful vice-captain! What did I do wrong-"

"You did it on purpose," Byakuya deadpanned, his right hand still holding the writing brush that Kurui had given him on his birthday many years before. His writing speed had never hastened nor slowed ever since Kurui had barged into his office in the Sixth Division, displaying to Renji what it meant to be the very representation of calmness.

"I WAS SIMPLY TRYING TO HELP HIM! It was his life's ambition to grow taller, right? So I gave him all the platform shoes I could find and filled his fridge with milk and-"

"Then transfer to the Sixth Division. I will make you vice-captain if you really want that position so badly."

"Nii-sama! That's not the issue here! The issue is that Shiro-kun is abusing his authority as Captain! Look at what he gave me! LOOK!"

Byakuya finally raised his head to take a look at the parchment of paper Kurui had all but shoved in his face. A quick glance at it told him that this was a written notice of transfer of personnel, written, signed, and stamped by the Tenth Division Captain himself. The only blank field that needed to be filled in is whatever division Kurui wants to go next, assuming she can get the relevant Captain's approval.

Hitsugaya must have really wanted his little sister out of his division for him to do such a thing. The nature of the written notice could easily force any shinigami under the Captain's jurisdiction to be transferred to another division without needing said shinigami's approval or opinion.

(Not that he blames Hitsugaya for it. Kurui can really be a handful at times.)

"Is there any division you want to go to?"

"NO!"

"Then quit being a shinigami."

"NO!"

"Hitsugaya practically banned you from ever stepping back into the Tenth Division. You cannot go back there."

"I DON'T CARE!"

"Not even the Captain Commander can take your side for this matter."

"WHY NOT?!"

Byakuya simply pointed at the letter.

"Hitsugaya used the law written in the Forced Transfer Act to transfer you out. It's a very ancient law within the Gotei Thirteen that barely anybody remembers about and explaining to you about its origins would take an entire day. You just need to know that when a Captain uses this law on a shinigami in his division, he or she has to transfer out of there and never go back."

"That… That… Petty little shit!"

"Language," Byakuya admonished with a finger flick to Kurui's forehead which she nimbly sidestepped. Huh, looks like his little sister had managed to take her shunpo to an even higher level than before.

Tired of his sister's rants, Byakuya simply snatched the written letter and signed his name on it before tossing it to Renji, who knew better than to defy his Captain's unsaid order.

"Welcome to the Sixth Division, Rui. Remember to take your vice-captain badge from Renji later."

"NII-SAMA!"


"Nii-sama doesn't love me anymore~ Wahh~"

Shuhei looked at Aoga, who looked at Kanisawa, who looked back at Shuhei and not so subtly nudged him forward towards a tantrum-throwing Kurui. Shuhei shot a look at betrayal at the friends he made back at the academy, who looked back at him with unrepentant grins.

"So… Let me get things straight. Captain Hitsugaya sacked you from your position as vice-captain of the Tenth Division, forcibly transferred you out, and now you are the vice-captain of the Sixth Division?"

"The main point is that I wanted nii-sama to help me seek justice against Shiro-kun! BUT HE DIDN'T! Is there no more sibling love between us?! Wahh~"

Shuhei sighed like he always does when it comes to his best friend. If she is this lively she is probably fine. She is throwing a tantrum simply because she can.

"Look at the brighter side of things, this might be a blessing in disguise. You can get away with practically anything with your brother as your Captain."

"He is the Captain of the Sixth Division. SIXTH! DIVISION! Do you know what that means?! I have to follow the stuffy rules he set for the division! Stuffy, boring, rules!"

"Like that has ever stopped you from doing whatever you want," Shuhei deadpanned.

"But it's nii-sama!"

"I'm afraid we don't see the point here," Kanisawa remarked.

Kurui screamed into the sky while clutching the sides of her head.

"I hate rules! Plain and simple!"

"Then transfer out of the Sixth Division if you hate it so much."

"But nii-sama already signed the document without my permission! And I hit my transfer quota for the decade!"

"Transfer quota? There's a quota on how many divisions you can be transferred to within a decade?"

Well, that news to all of them. They never knew that there was a quota as to how many divisions you can be transferred to within a decade.

Meanwhile, Kurui continued to scream incoherently.


"Not that I'm unhappy to see you, but whaddya' doin' here?"

"The Ultimate Prankster of Seireitei had fallen to the evildoings of Shiro-kun! Nii-sama is being heartless and is of no help! I need assistance from someone I can actually trust!"

"Oh, you mean your forced transfer?" Gin mentioned with a casual wave of his hand while snacking on some of his dried persimmons. He offered some to Kurui, which she took without question. Huh, weird, since when was she so trusting of him to eat what he offered?

"I can allow you to transfer to the Third Division, if you want," Gin offered, although he knew that it would be a cold day in hell before Kurui willingly put herself in the same division as him.

"Nope. The Third Division is not for me, neither is the Fifth or Ninth."

Gin's interest rose a little more and along with it, his caution. For her to so openly state her dislike for those three divisions, his included, where he, Aizen, and Tousen are the respective Captains for the aforementioned divisions…

Had Kurui found out about things that she shouldn't have? Is there a need to eliminate her now?

"Don't get your panties in a twist, Ginny," Kurui waved him off in a flippant manner that could give him a run for his money. "Now, as a famous saying goes: Prepare for trouble, and make it double. So, Ginny, will you be my partner in crime for the greatest and most vengeful prank in the history of Soul Society?"

Gin's eyes widened a fraction when he sensed the serious tone in Kurui's voice. Despite the playful words she used, he knew that this time, she meant serious business. Whatever she might say next might very well tear down the thin veil of peace between them and whether he might choose to take lethal action or not depended on what she would say next.

The only thing that he's certain about was that he will not rest until his blade finds its home in Aizen's heart.

"Go on, I'm listening," Gin replied in a laid back manner, but he's already prepared for the possibility of whipping out his own blade anytime soon, something he's sure that Kurui will be expecting as well.

Interesting. So very interesting.

A grin slowly appeared on Kurui's face after she heard his reply.

"Then you better listen well, Ginny, because I have a feeling that we will be such good partners in crime that not only would we be able to protect the world from devastation, we might just be able to unite all people within our nation while we are at it."


"Dear nii-sama, when you read this letter I would have been long gone. I've decided that I should give myself a well deserved break from all the madness I've been experiencing in recent times and find myself a sanctuary where I could actually have some fun and be the heroine that saves the world. I will be back in around a decade, probably. XOXO, Ultimate Prankster of Seireitei, the awesome Kuchiki Kurui. PS, don't miss me too much, I know you will. PPS, tell the smelly old farts of Central 46 to dread the day of my return. PPPS, help me look out for the Shiba-"

"Alright, that's enough," Byakuya raised a tired hand to stop Rukia from further reading of the letter Kurui had left behind. His other hand was massaging his temple, already feeling the onset of another Kurui-induced migraine.

"Would the Captain Commander take any action?" Hisana asked worriedly, to which Byakuya replied with a shake of his head.

"Kurui is capable of doing really ridiculous things, but there are rules or bottom lines that she will never cross. Leaving her position without an explicit order is not something that she will do, because she is a Kuchiki. If she had the audacity to leave the Sixth Division and her position as vice-captain behind like that without informing me of it beforehand, that meant that she had consulted her decision with another person that holds an even higher authority than I do."

"The Captain Commander approved of this?" Rukia asked incredulously while waving the letter that she was holding.

"That is the only possibility," Byakuya affirmed.

"What? Where… How?"

Byakuya sighed once again. For souls, a decade isn't very long, but it isn't a short period of time either. He knows Kurui can take care of herself, but…

He sighed. The things he does for his beloved little sister.

"I wish I knew, Renji. I wish I knew."


"Ichi-kun~ Where are you~ It's time for you to go to school~"

"Go away! I don't need anyone to walk me to school!"

"Wah~ Isshin! Why is Ichi-kun so cold? Does he not love his godmother anymore? Had he lost his youth? Waaaah~"

"This is unacceptable! Alright, if we are unable to reignite the spark of youth in Ichigo by the end of today we shall-"

Ichigo exasperatedly sent his mother a pleading look, only to find that to his horror, his mother was actually joining the madness. So, he did the only thing he could by finishing his breakfast in record time and bolted out of the house before his crazy godmother decided to follow him to school.

"Wah~ Ichi-kun left without me! I knew it! He doesn't need me anymore! HE DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE! Ichi-kun, from this moment you are no longer my favourite! Yuzu and Karin are so much cuter!"

Fine by him. He would rather not be cute if it means escaping that black hair menace, thank you very much.

The crazy things unfolding within his house aside, this day isn't very much different from any other. Wake up, avoid his father's surprise attacks, spend some quality time with his sisters, deal with his crazy godmother's antics, eat the breakfast prepared by his mother, and then avoid the spirits on his way to school.

Yep, just another day.

Ichigo frowned a little when his mind wandered back to the day where he realised that he actually has a godmother. According to his unreliable old man, his aunt Kurui was made godmother simply because she had once done his father a huge favour and then demanded to be offered his first-born as recompense. The strange thing was, his mother actually found no faults with it.

He made a mental note to never owe anyone any favours that might need him to offer his first-born to some random stranger.

Don't get him wrong, he doesn't dislike his godmother. On the contrary, a part of him is glad that she is around. She was the one who believed that he could see spirits and didn't mock him for it like how others would do. Heck, he even once witnessed her dropkick a gigantic spirit known as Hollows, showing him that he was not alone. Like him, his insane godmother has some sort of spiritual power as well.

He won't lie. The knowledge of him not being the only one with weird wonky powers gave him some comfort, although he really can deal without the entire unique brand of crazy his godmother Kurui brings about wherever she goes.

Kurui lived near them, although she visits often enough to make it seem like she lives with the Kurosaki household. Ichigo never did know what she does for a living and she always deflected the question when asked. His parents were of no help either. The only thing he did know was that she seemed to frequent a small shop located near the outskirts of the town and was on friendly terms with the weird hat-n-clogs.

If he had to make a guess, his godmother is probably some sort of exorcist that deals with spirits and the likes. It would make sense, like how she can see spirits like he can, how she could actually touch them and exterminate them like how she did to Grand Fisher, saving his life and his mother's in the process. If that is true, he could see why she was never forthcoming about what she did for a living. Nobody would believe her if she introduced herself as an exorcist. There are things in this world that nobody would believe in unless they see it for themselves.

Subtly sidestepping a wandering spirit without giving anything away, Ichigo continued to make his way to school. He still had many questions regarding the mysteries surrounding his godmother. Like how she virtually never ages despite him knowing her for close to a decade, her always knowing weird stuff as though she could divine the future, her insistence for him to learn and master kenjutsu, among many others. However, eccentric as she was, she had always done things with his and his sisters' best interests in mind. That, he knows.

His family is a crazy one but even then, he wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.


AN: I… totally forgot this story existed, and I didn't even remember that I had actually written this chapter before but somehow had never posted it. God knows just how long this chapter had been sitting in my Google Drive (lol), and I am thankful to my past self for having the foresight to at least write down a little of this story's future plot somewhere so that I would have a vague idea of what I was planning to do with this story when I picked it up again, especially the part about Kurui's shikai and bankai.

If you guys have any wonky and hilarious ideas feel free to share. This story was meant to be a crack fic anyway. No promises on when the next update will be though.