Cereal
After a few minutes of running away, it finally dawned on me.
HOLY FUCK I SOUNDED LIKE A CLOWN.
Like I said, hilarious.
Shut up, you didn't even get a good ending!
...Shut the fuck up.
Putting that aside, what the hell did I say to Klee?! I'm never going to drag my reputation out of the pits of hell ever again! I want a refund! Jaeger, give me a different modifier!
Can't do, lmao.
...Damn it. I really have to talk like this for the entire journey… May god have mercy on my poor soul, and please let the player's mind carry me through.
By the way, despite your prayers being kind of funny, Klee is trying to catch up to you.
Wait what.
Turning around, I see the little pyro gremlin running towards me with a worried look on her face.
Now this is problematic because I have absolutely no idea what she's running for. Is she running to get me? Is she running because she's late?
Am I about to die a terrible, terrible death?
After standing for about a minute, Klee finally catches up to me, and starts to catch her own breath after being exhausted from running.
"Mr. Cereal!" Klee said to me, with a pleading look on her face, she continued, "Could you please not try to find my secret treasures!"
Her what? Wait, her… Bombs.
Ah, that. Uh, I don't think I was ever on the route to finding it anyways, considering the whispering forest is…
Looking behind me, I saw a thick density of trees, with almost no end in sight. Yeah, I don't think I'll ever find a treasure in there…
I look back to Klee before giving my answer.
"WHY, OF COURSE NOT [KID]! I'LL PROMISE TO NOT FIND YOUR [MOOLAH]! THIS IS A CEREAL GUARANTEE! [ONLY $9.99]!"
Despite my face being still, on the inside, I was dying at my own words. Only $9.99? I didn't even think about saying that! I really hope that odd mechanic doesn't bite me in the ass later…
Klee was happy about my answer, her face expressing extreme joy.
"Thank you mister! Bye bye now!"
And then she runs off into the woods, but considering she's level 85… She's probably safer than I am. She'll be fine.
This world is pretty cool, I should check in for a vacation day sooner or later to play around with this world some more…
...And what prompted that?
Klee is a pretty cool kid, I'm sure someone will give her a gamer system sooner or later down the line. I think Genshin worlds have only been around for a few decades right now…
...Why? Also, the heck do you mean about a few decades?
Unwritten rule of the universe. Every major canon character will be given a gamer system by someone in one world or another, sooner or later, anyways. As for your second question, time works wonky, it's weird and I have no idea what the hell is up with it, so don't ask.
...The more you talk about the gamers you know about, the more I don't want to be in the society you're in…
Well, the other option is to completely and permanently shut yourself from society and create your own universe and try your luck there. But I can only count like, 1000 people that I know about that managed to do that… So, you'll be stuck with us for a while.
1000? That sounds like a lot of people… Maybe you just don't know a lot of people and that's why the number is so low?
Sure, if there wasn't like, a million gamers roaming about the universe. And that number is backed up by Skryb, who is our CEO, who's at least decently aware of what's going on around him.
Ah, I see… Well, I'll put those thoughts aside for now, right now, I need to figure out how to craft weapons…
May I suggest getting some stone and ores?
Yes, you may suggest that. You know, you could also tell me how to use that resource finder starting advantage that I have…
It's a skill, dumbass. You use it by thinking it in your head and willing it to happen.
...Oh. Alright, following those instructions and willing resource finder to work…
[Resource finder activated.]
Suddenly, I see trails of light leading towards some areas. Neat, that's my first look at magic… It's… A lot more underwhelming than I thought at first.
If you wanted to see magic, then you should've picked a mage, did dying make your brain cells die twice so the revive didn't work?
Wha- You don't have to throw so much shade at me dude! Foul play!
Yes… Yes… That said, you have 2 gacha tokens you haven't used because you were distracted by Klee.
I- checking my inventory to confirm this, I saw that, yes, I have 2 gacha tokens lying around in my inventory.
Maybe I am an idiot.
[Gacha token - A stick that, when broken, grants you a random item from a random rarity.]
So, Jaeger, any tips and tricks for summoning- Gambling?
Well, the first gacha token is a guaranteed legendary related to either one of your modifiers, species, or class. We told everyone that fact in the last system, but Gaienyan overridden that decision when fixing up things for this system because it 'lets the player feel good.'
Uh-huh… That's pretty informative, but I was more asking on the lines of like, summoning rituals and stuff.
Oh, that? I dunno, some wacky things I've seen other players do are to chant a developer's name a few times, sacrifice something, scream loudly, literally just asking for the item they wanted, and some other various things.
That's… Interesting. So, what's your personal ritual, then?
Hm… Well, here, I'll give you my personal creation.
Items obtained.
[Potion of Hopium - Pure hopium that allows you to feel hope in something. Created by Jaeger]
And just to cover our bases…
[Potion of Copium - Pure copium that allows you to cope slightly better. Created by Jaeger]
...What?
Drink the hopium.
The- Isn't that a drug?
Nah, that's copium.
I… see.
Uh, in that case… Bottoms up? Taking off the lid, I let the potion fall on my face, despite not having a mouth, and the hopium seems to get absorbed into my body.
[You are now feeling slightly hopeful due to the consumption of hopium.]
Ah, this is a nice feeling! You know what, absolutely nothing can go wrong now!
Taking a gacha token out, I snap it with my fingers, revealing…
Gacha token used.
[Gathering Cane - Legendary - A long gentlemanly cane used for both gathering resources, and to beat the crap out of opponents. Deals Str/End*2 damage (Whichever is higher). Instantly mines most resources in 1 hit.]
YOOOOOOO THIS IS ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD!
Wait wtf that's a legendary item? That's like… 90 damage per hit at your level wtf.
LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOO!
We take those.
Yes, Jaeger, we take those. That other player doesn't stand a chance. He's screwed at the sight of me and my gathering cane. It even somewhat fits my Wonder of U cosplay…
You jinxed it, what if the other player is literally god right now?
...Is he?
I dunno, I can't check.
You know what, I'll believe that the other player is stranded on a random island somewhere. And with this second gacha token, I'm about to skyrocket in power again!
I think the hopium is getting to you…
Nah, this absolutely can't go wrong.
Gacha token used.
[Scrap metal - Common - A ball of scrap metal. Used as a crafting material.]
This… IS ACTUALLY SLIGHTLY USEFUL! WE TAKE THOSE!
What the fuck.
I am slightly lucky, just a tad bit of luck.
Anyways, I should go follow the magical trail and get those ore I need to progress in life.
That's got to be illegal.
Still in disbelief at my sheer unfounded luck? I know it's a bit-
Stfu.
[Hopium has forcibly been cancelled.]
Oof, eh? That warm feeling in my chest is gone…
I retract my previous statement, hopium is definitely a drug. Keep the copium, but I'm definitely not going to give you the hopium again.
...I'm not going to fight that statement, that definitely was a bit weird… Uh, yeah, I think I'm just going to find the ore now…
I start walking towards the trail still left behind by the resource finder, and desperately attempt to put the memories of the hopium behind me. I'd hate it if my personality was decided based on some drug given to me by some dumbass god.
You're calling me the dumbass, but would you like me to remind you of everything you've done in the past hour or so you've been in this world?
I- you know what, sure, tell me what I've done. Give me that list.
...I wasn't expecting that route. I don't have an actual list lmao.
Yeah, now shut up about my idiocy. You literally named yourself after an anime character, you have no valid opinion.
Bruh. You sound like my coworkers…
Mhm, cry.
Man, shut up. I really don't need shit from a newbie whose name is literally just Cereal.
That… Is a fair point. I wouldn't take advice from a person named Cereal either.
If you decide to stick around after you win the match, because you obviously will with me on your side, it'd be an embarrassment if you lost, we can both be shitted on by our coworkers together.
...That'd be nice, sure.
After a bit of silence after the conversation, I absently wondered how far away this ore is…
Only to finally find it. A cluster of iron ore.
[Iron ore - A chunk of iron ore used for crafting.]
The first step to… Whatever I'm going to do, I actually haven't thought that far besides beating up the other player.
Ah, whatever. Bringing my cane out, I started whacking all of the ore, watching it crack and break and flashing into my inventory.
[Iron ore x8]
Cool…
Now, Jaeger, teach me the crafting mechanics.
Sure thing, grab the crafting station out of your inventory.
Ah, this thing?
[Starter's Bench - A standard crafting bench issued to all production classes. Can be placed and picked up wherever.]
Yeah, that one.
Alright, grabbing out of my inventory, it pops up in my hand as a… Small workbench or something. This… Really isn't what I had in mind.
You need better crafting stations for better items, but that one will serve you for like… Until level 40, I think.
You think? That doesn't really inspire that much hope in me, Jaeger.
I don't main a production class lmao. I just use the alchemist class a lot to make copium.
...Do you need an intervention?
I can stop whenever I want. I'm good.
...I'll put it on your tombstone, then. Putting that aside, let's see, so if I want to craft something simple, like say… Uh, Jaeger, what CAN I make?
Well, you're an engineer so… Building blocks, probably? I know you can start a scientific revolution at later levels, but like, 1-20, which is tier 1, is kind of… Useless.
...I feel stupid now. Yes, of course early level crafting would be crappy. Yes, how did I not foresee this coming?
If it's any consolation prize, with your mass replication modifier, if my coworkers aren't jerks, you might be able to just like… Make matter appear out of thin air by crafting blocks and then disassembling them.
...Wait a minute… Infinite money?
More like crashing the economy. Although, with that appearance… Eh, you might have a chance at the black market or something. Although, the economy would tank if you just started to replicate the mora…
Ah, that's true… Well, I'll keep that idea in mind. Infinite amount of anything is pretty good… Uh, random unrelated thought, but do ores… regenerate?
...Maybe? I dunno, I vaguely recall the world development team arguing whether having open-worlds like this having the resources occasionally reset was good or not, but I didn't hear their verdict on that… Maybe put a waypoint here and check later?
Ah, right, I do have infinite waypoints, huh… I should get into the habit of placing them everywhere.
[Waypoint placed.]
Plonk. Waypoint placed and I now can teleport to a mountain and here. In hindsight, I should've placed a waypoint at the base of that mountain, next to the lake, but… Oh well, I'll do it later.
...I got distracted, I was going to craft something…
Block of iron?
...Yeah, sure, how much does that cost me, system?
[Block of iron - requires 9 iron ore.] [8/9 iron ore.]
…
…
[Block of iron - requires 8 iron ore.] [8/8 iron ore.]
We do a little bit of tomfoolery.
What are you talking about? Blocks of iron have always been 8 iron ore. I don't know what you're talking about.
Whose memories are these? Hehehe.
Hehehe.
[Block of iron created.]
[Block of iron - A small block made out of iron.]
And the block of iron sits on top of the crafting bench, taking about… Well, a block of space, I don't really know how to describe it. And looking at the recipe again…
[Block of iron - requires 2 iron ore.] [0/2 iron ore.]
Ohohoho… And to disassemble this block…
[Disassemble block of iron - gives 5 iron ore.]
Jaeger…
Yes?
Don't nerf.
Do you want hopium or copium?
Both.
An:
We do a bit of tomfoolery.
Maybe it's because this fic is newer, but I'm enjoying writing Cereal and Jaeger doing stupid shit like this, despite that the two only having met like an hour ago and already acting as if they knew each other for their entire lives. A lot easier to make than the MHA gamer fic I have going on at the moment.
Now, if only I could get a solid grip on how much control Jaeger has over the system… Eh, I'll toss that can across for the me of tomorrow.
If you have a review, feel free to leave it, I kind of need those suggestions and things.
