Cereal
After a bit more talking, I agreed that Albedo can check me out after he comes from Dragonspine, which was the huge mountain over in the distance which looked a lot more impressive than it did in game, and they would also send out some messages to other nations to see if they found someone rising in power around this time in the underworld.
In return, when I win the match and become a cool god or something, I'll help them find Barbatos, you know, just to check if he's okay, and I'll help them with some other stuff until we're even.
So, overall, a pretty productive session! Definitely worth giving myself up to what's essentially the government. Right, Jaeger?
My copium…
...What.
I spilled my copium, Cereal
...How?
I was giving myself another dose-
Why are you dosing on copium anyways? This doesn't seem like the appropriate time to be high on drugs.
To tolerate being with you.
What the fu-
Anyways, while I was giving myself a dose of copium, there was this rat-
A rat?! Wait, aren't you basically inside my head?! What would a rat be doing inside my head?!
I have no idea, man. Anyways, it was this massive rat, and it scared me so badly that I dropped my copium!
...Ignoring the fact that you, basically a god, got scared by a big rat… Where's the rat now?
In my inventory lol.
…
Look, I know a low-ranking intern at our company who hates rats. Imagine this big rat, who I'll buff by the way, showing up behind them lol.
…
Can I watch or get a video of it when you do?
Yes.
You are forgiven. Anyways, did you happen to catch if I got a house or…?
Lmao no I didn't, didn't you hear me talking about the rat and the copium.
Hm, I see, fuck.
Taking a look around, I saw Kaeya and Lisa talking to each other quietly, and Jean's working on something else…
...Maybe I can just leave?
Taking an experimental few steps back, I start backing out of the room and-
"Oh, where do you think you're going?" Kaeya butted in moments before I reached the door.
I wanted to ask something about what now, or where do I live now, but instead, I said, "I'VE GOT [DEALS] TO MAKE, [FREEDOM] TO BE HAD! YOU THINK YOU CAN-"
Kaeya swiftly interrupts my words, "Well, we haven't figured out where you can live yet, or what you're even going to be doing for the next few weeks. Can't you slow down just a bit?"
"WEEKS?!" I said in disbelief, sure, I haven't told them anything other than giving them the system explanation yet, but still, weeks?! "IN 5 WEEKS, THAT [nasty] IS GOING TO BECOME [A Big Shot]! I CAN'T WAIT [days, weeks, months, years], I NEED TO [be BIG] NOW!"
Everyone looked a bit contemplative, thinking about my words for a bit, and then Jean spoke out, "Well, I'm sure you can take care of yourself for a while… Just… Don't get into too much trouble, okay?"
Ah! Jean! Thank you! "I AM [a BIG SHOT]! THERE IS [none] I CAN GET INTO [Terrible, Terrible Damage!]"
And then I ran out the door.
What's it with you and running away from things?
It's my gimmick!
As I ran towards the front doors of the headquarters, someone entered the headquarters and I felt compelled to stop running in order to not look like a dumbass. Ignoring all the guards in this room, anyways…
Who is- Ah.
Amber
Canon character
Level 50
Vision: Pyro
Ah, hm. Hi.
Amber had a curious look on her face while staring at me, probably thinking of something to say.
"Er… Hello… Sir? That's a… Uh, nice mask you have on!" Amber said with a tone that did not inspire confidence in anyone watching or listening to the scene.
But the thought was appreciated, even if it's actually just factually incorrect, since that's my face she was talking about, but I'm not about to tell her that, "[MANY THANKS!]! MY [#1 2021 Salesman] IS CEREAL!"
Amber got even more confused upon hearing my voice, "Wait, are you not… Uh, wait, Cereal? Isn't that a food from Fontaine? I know I just tried it last month with milk and I…" Amber trailed off before realizing she was going off-topic, "Uh, nevermind that, what are you?"
The words 'food from Fontaine' really grinds my gears, but you know what, that's alright. If I heard correctly, it's still in its infancy and I can get its name changed… That being said, what am I? Well, I'm a- "[God]"
THAT WASN'T WHAT I MEANT, MODIFIER!?
LMAOOOOOOO
sHUT UP JAEGER-
"Oh! Uhm," Amber stammered out hopelessly, unclear whether it was a joke or not, "That's, er…"
"Ah, bullying our outrider, Cereal? How evil of you." Kaeya's voice came out and saved Amber from her distress.
I wouldn't call it bullying, you see… I was just…
To be fair, you did put her in a difficult situation.
Well, that's not my fault, you see. It was the modifier.
Kaeya, fortunately, continues without my input, "Amber, this is Cereal, Cereal, this is Amber. Unfortunately, I can't tell you much right now, but he's someone very important, alright? He just arrived about an hour ago, so make sure to take him around Mondstadt and show him all the sights."
Amber looks conflicted for a moment before asking, "But my report-"
"Did you find anything unusual? Or at the very least, anything unusual past the hillichurls getting closer again."
"...No, it's the same thing I put in for the last two weeks." Amber said, sounding defeated.
Kaeya gave an easy smile, "Then you can show him around just for today, I'll treat you to lunch tomorrow."
Psst, Jaeger, how long is it until uh… The game technically starts with Aether or Lumine showing up?
1 week before 'the big event' or canon, is the standard time we throw a player into their world.
Thanks.
Anyways, Amber was re-hyping herself back up, and Kaeya… Went on to do whatever Kaeya does on any particular day, and I decided to reinsert myself into the conversation.
...Before I got interrupted by a quest.
Quest obtained.
The Mondstadt Tour
Go on a nice tour around Mondstadt with Amber, and remember the fact that you probably just used her as a lighter in-game, you monster.
Reward: 250 exp, crippling guilt.
Jaeger… Please tell me that's not an actual thing. The crippling guilt part, I meant.
No. But you used her and then threw her back in the trash, probably, I dunno, I haven't gone through your memories yet lmao.
yOu can DO that?!
Lmao yeah. Also Amber is staring at you awkwardly now, you should probably say something.
Oh, right.
Looking back at Amber, she was, just as Jaeger said, staring at me very awkwardly.
"HELLO! ARE YOU [Alive]? ARE WE [Going up and down on the merry-go-round!]" I asked before mentally hitting myself as usual after every single time I speak.
Amber was suddenly brought back to life as she said hastily, "Oh! Right! Er, welcome to Mondstadt! I'll just show you around all of the major places you should know about, okay? Follow me!"
And we soon went out the door to explore the city I once called 'the best place in the game, right next to Inazuma because I'm a weeb lmao'
That's a mouthful, just call it #1 dude.
Improv is not my style, dude.
"And this is the statue of Barbatos, and behind it is the church!"
"BARBATOS!? THAT [#1 Rated Anemo Drunkard]?! I [wanted him] BUT [Qiqi]"
"...Okay? Erm… Let's go to adventurer's guild headquarters, then!"
"Ah! Amber! Who's this fellow you've brought with you?"
"I'M THE [Where… Why… Am I Dying?] GUY! OH, DEAR…"
"...Erm, nevermind."
"I'm sorry!"
"This is the main marketplace where everyone usually hangs out at! There's also tons of amazing food here too from all over Teyvat!"
"MHMM… DELICIOUS [KROMER] TO BE HAD. DO YOU NEED [Minecraft Redstone Tutorials] BUILDING [Stones]?"
"...No? What's a 'minecraft redstone tutorial building stone' anyways?"
"And this is Angel's Share! This is the most popular tavern in all of Mondstadt, and its owner, Master Diluc, is known all over Teyvat for their wine!"
"why didn't you come home diluc…"
"...Huh?"
"WHAT? NO! I DIDN'T HEAR ANYTHING JUST NOW!"
"But you-"
"BUT I THINK THEY WERE TALKING TO YOU!"
"And this is Katheryne, she usually handles the adventurer's payments and things like that! Er, no offense to you Katheryne, but I don't think you two will be meeting each other very much…?"
"Ah, it is good to see another mechanical being like myself."
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY [Schematics] and [#1 best selling company] IS FAR [GREATER] THAN YOURS!"
"Perhaps your voice module is broken?"
"YES."
"...What? Wait, do you two know each other already?! Wait, Katheryne, what do you mean by another mechanical being like yourself?!"
Quest completed: The Mondstadt Tour
Reward: 250 exp. No crippling guilt.
You have leveled up 1x [Level 10 to 11] [Exp: 122/150]
End: 55 to 60 [Sp: 3,000]
Int: 40 to 42
Wis: 20 to 21 [Mp: 105]
Vit: 45 to 50 [Hp: 1,000]
Ah yes, a casual 10 levels in one day, and already having a thousand health. Absolutely fair and balanced, truly a magnificently balanced race.
Yep, truly balanced. I'll give you a tier list of the races later that one of my co-workers made.
Sure, sure. Now, anyways…
"So that's Mondstadt! What did you think of it?" Amber asked with a smile, clearly ready to forget all my odd mannerisms in favor of… Well, she's pretty happy to be here, she's probably just built differently.
"WONDERFUL! [GREAT] [GREAT] [GREAT]! WOULD RECOMMEND [10 out of 10]! I'LL GET SO I'LL GET SO I'LL GET SO I'LL GET SO I'LL GET SO [BIG]" I said, standing completely still in contrast to my upbeat voice.
Maybe I should've given myself a mouth. Or like, any facial features, actually. Wonder of U does look good, but like, not in this context…
Amber smiled even brighter and gave a thumbs up, "Great! Then…" Amber then looked like she realized something awkward, "Uh, actually, do you know if I'm supposed to bring you back? Kaeya just told me to give you a tour, but didn't actually elaborate on anything…"
...Oh.
That's… A good question.
Why don't you just send her back, and then we'll go out on a quick adventure to go try out fighting a bit? We can gather a few more resources on the way as well.
Ooh, good idea, I sometimes forget that under your stupidity, you're sometimes smart.
You fucking lunchable-
"DO NOT WORRY [red burny girl 2]! I WILL BE [oooookaaaay!] GO TELL THAT [#1 5 STAR 50/50] I WILL [never lose in a 1 on 1 battle!]"
Amber did look a bit more confident at that, "Hm, alright then! Take care!"
And then she took off in the direction of the headquarters without any more care in the world.
And then I run towards the gate and out towards the wilds.
Don't you have a shitload of waypoints you can use now?
Oh.
I forgor.
An:
"Ah shit, how do I get him out of this situation where he can actually start doing some experimenting?"
2 days later…
"Amber tour date?"
"Holy shit brain cell #2, you're a genius."
I also didn't want to start writing [Waypoint placed] every other line, so if he's been there, there's probably a waypoint there or nearby. Whether by Cereal himself remembering to place one, or Jaeger nagging him to place one.
Today, I also remembered that 'oh yeah, if i don't have to write about these people fighting, then it's probably fine for me to just not list their stats, right?'
Truly, I am making progress in the world.
[I once again am making another MHA gamer pvp fic after abandoning the last one. You may already know, but if you don't that's a thing.]
[...I should probably raise Amber. 2nd best girl doesn't deserve this.]
[Fischl #1 by the way.]
