Kaeya
"Oh, uhm, I let Cereal outside of Mondstadt since I didn't actually hear if you wanted him back or not… Er, he seemed pretty confident though! So I'm sure it's fine." Amber said with full confidence, explaining why Cereal didn't come back with her.
"Amber…" Kaeya said slowly, with a contemplating look on his face, "Why?"
Amber had a confused look on her face, "Er, he… Well, I said that I didn't know whether or not I was supposed to bring him back, and he told me that he'd be okay! Um, in his own words I think it was… Ahem, 'Do not worry, number 2 red burny girl! I will be okkaaaaay!' and uh… 'I never lose in a one on one battle!' Say, who's number 1 red burny girl anyways? Klee? Wait, have they already met yet?"
Well.
Hm.
On one hand, Amber just let go of an extremely suspicious unknown person outside of Mondstadt willingly, despite his supposed good intentions and that… Odd ghost message as proof of his prophecy.
On the other hand, the 'god' that Cereal mentions inside of him does feel as if it truly exists, as while being around him, he felt as if anyone tried to attack him with serious enough intent, that person wouldn't exist on Teyvat anymore. Yet, nobody else seemed at all afraid around him… Or were the people just extremely good at hiding it this time around, perhaps curiosity overcoming any underlying fear?
"Hm," Kaeya said instead, not willing to give anyone the thought that he was slightly afraid of whatever 'god' that Cereal mentioned when they first met, "Then, do what you were doing before, scouting out the areas around Mondstadt for… The next week or so. And we'll deal with Cereal, alright?"
Amber's dismayed face at getting the same assignment for the third week in a row made things slightly better, and did help take his mind off of whatever Cereal's end goal of 'killing the other player' lead to.
Kaeya didn't believe in heroes all too often, but he truly does hope that this one acted like a real hero from the fantasy books he once used to read, because it'd be a disaster for Mondstadt if he was anything else.
Cereal
For the past hour or so since we teleported out of Mondstadt, we've just been walking around and placing down waypoints for later, gathering materials for crafting later, like crystal ore, white iron ore, wood, stone, you know, all the good stuff. Meanwhile, Jaeger and I've been discussing the tier list that someone named Lurvindend made, who, according to Jaeger, fought over the name Lurviz and lost.
So, why is slime at A tier? Aren't they like, a stereotypically weak monster? Especially in a tier that's filled with other things like vampires, fairies, and elves.
I think they get major physical resistance, which is useful in almost any world, adding onto the fact that they can dodge a lot of stuff in the hands of a decently skilled player, they're pretty good.
Well, alright, I can accept that, that sounds pretty logical… So why is doppelganger at S tier, then? Unless if doppelgangers are better than the original, isn't it just better to be someone original?
Well, despite them not being able to turn into anyone without stalking them for a few minutes usually, their starting forms can literally be anything, like a slime, and get their racial bonuses, so you get like 2 races in one. Also, their modifiers are insane. There's one modifier that they have that essentially makes them equal to what they're copying.
How much do modifiers affect the tier list anyways?
A good amount. That's the reason humans are at C instead of B. They just don't get many good modifiers, and the modifiers they do get are kind of basic and either decent, or debilitating, or somewhere in the middle of that.
...Why? Aren't you all like… Once upon a time, probably, humans?
Well, yeah, but the non-human matches are good mindless fun. Also, there's a reason why we let people choose out of 3 species, because in almost every other gamer system I can think of, not many people choose it because it locks you into that choice, and since most of the time it's random, nobody chooses it.
Anyways, that's why we make it random, but let you pick out of three, and the three are, on average, better than humans.
...In a fight, yeah? I don't think a demon would fit well in… A lot of places.
Well, yeah. True. But a lot of people find that hiding aspect fun, probably. I mean, if it weren't we wouldn't be making a lot of money off of this.
Making a lot of-
Wait a minute.
Are you guys… Selling videos of our matches for money?
...yeah
…
…
Are you making a lot of money off of it.
Heck yeah
Good, that makes me happy.
Uh, now, anyways, where were we anyways? Oh, right, heading towards Dawn Winery to-
"Stop right there, silver gentleman! Who are you and what are you doing here?!" A dignified sounding woman's voice came out from behind me.
Alright, who did I run into this time? "CAN'T YA SEE YOU'RE- [oH sNAP!]"
Eula
Canon character
Vision: Cryo
Eula looked pissed, and I didn't even do anything yet! Is this karma for me not pulling for her?! I was out of primos at that time!
Also, this is the wrong chuunibyou character! I'm a Fischl main!
"Hmph, speaking like that, disguising your voice from me using vague sources of arcanary, and not addressing me properly? I will have vengeance for this!" Eula said.
She said the line! That being said…
"YEAH? YOU [18th CENTURY CHILD] THINK CAN BEAT ME?! THAT [Revenge Plot] WILL LEAD YOU [Dumpster]!" I said, half serious, half offended.
Eula immediately glares at me even further, and I'm really wishing there was a charisma stat right about now.
Dropping in to tell you we remove charisma mostly out of sheer luck, and also to tell you that intelligence and wisdom doesn't make you smarter. King Jaeger out.
Thank you Jaeger, for doing absolutely nothing. A real king.
Eula then continues, "Hmph, continuing to mock me after I declare my vengeance over you? I won't forget this! You're coming with me… Ah…" Eula's voice fades out as she realizes she doesn't know my face.
"CEREAL."
Eula immediately represses her attack as soon as I say my name, "You're coming with me- Wait, Cereal? You're mocking me with food? I won't stand for this!"
Well, too bad, then! "STAND FOR IT!"
Eula scoffs, "Resisting an order from the Knights of Favonius? Very well then! You've forced my hand!"
Eula pulls out her greatsword…
And immediately freezes.
Huh? Why would she stop? She has the sword in her hand, she's standing a few meters ahead of me…
Ahem…
Oh, you. I would tell you to not, but on the other hand, I don't really want to fight Eula, like, at all.
Now, anyways, time to do a wee bit of trolling, "DO YOU [See, Think, Smell] IT?! THE HAND OF THE [god] DRAWS CLOSER. WILL YOU STAND UP IN [the neverending darkness] OR [be forgotten]?!"
Man, I sound so cool. If only I could sound like that all the time…
One day, buddy, lmao.
'For 10 years, at least', dipshit.
You-
"I… Do not… Know what to say..." Eula says simply, getting out of the freeze she seemed to be stuck in for a moment, "...What is your name again?"
"I TOLD YOU. [cereal]"
Eula still had that suspicious look on her face, "And… You're not human, so what are you?"
"WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW, [Tsundere]?"
Hm, now that I think of it, the sun is setting…
[Waypoint placed.]
"COME GET YOUR [DEALS] FROM ME! [sAYONARAAAA!]!" I said, waving at her in goodbye.
[Waypoint used]
And I show up back at Mondstadt, cool.
"E-Eh?! Aren't you that… Where did you come from?!" One of the guards said.
Oh, right.
That.
We didn't do any fighting though, what the heck.
My bad, I got distracted. But these waypoints are useful for later, right?
Fine, fine, I'll give you that, any teleporting ability is stupid overpowered and we should really nerf them. Well, you can't use any teleportation in combat, so I'm sure it's fine…
Wait a minute.
I can't teleport in combat?
No.
god.
DAMNIT.
"U-uhm, are you… Going to reply?"
"IN DUE TIME, MY DEAR [NPC]! I AM [preoccupied] FUMING [Steam]!"
You wanna do all of the crafting and setting up shop tomorrow, or fighting?
...Crafting. I think that's a stress-free activity.
Yeah, sure, I'll put it on the list. You wanna pull an all-nighter or ask for a place to sleep?
...How would sleeping work? I'm literally a robot.
Well, you sleep, duh. You just need to turn yourself off, and you'll wake up in the morning.
Oh… Yeah, well, it's been less than 24 hours since I've been reincarnated, I should sleep.
...Although, I do have a neat idea I could try.
"...Sir?"
"WILL YOU STOP [#!(*&^# MY ^#]?!"
[Waypoint used.]
Eula
Gazing upon the spot where Cereal once stood, presumably teleporting away somewhere, Eula reflected upon her circumstances.
That…
Did not go too well.
In hindsight, perhaps she shouldn't have gotten too offended at His words. However, that tone of his… It leaves no doubt, vengeance shall be hers!
Hmph, it is getting late… I should head back-
And then Cereal appears in front of her, and grabs her arms.
"Huh?"
"YOU ARE BEING SENT TO BRAZIL."
"What the-!?"
Suddenly, a bright flash of light takes over her sight and…
...We're in the Knights of Favonius headquarters?
"Eula? Cereal? What are you doing here?" The sound of Jean's voice knocks her out of her thoughts.
"...What?"
Cereal
That was pretty funny, right?
It's more impressive you were able to say your line without getting interrupted lol.
I know, right?
Jean interrupted my mental conversation however, "Uh, Cereal… You are able to teleport? With other people, no less?"
Oh, yeah, I can do that, I guess.
This honestly feels like an oversight, because I personally witnessed Paradise beating the shit out of the person who let the arcane mage do something like this back in the 1.0 days.
"YES! FOR THE [Price Of My Favorite Year!] I CAN [EXPLOIT] THIS [minor inconvenience.]!" I said, not even understanding myself.
Jean looked thoughtful for a moment, before looking at Eula, and back to me, "I think. I need to sleep on this. Kaeya will bring you to your room that we set up earlier, he's in the library with Lisa, as far as I know."
...I know the feeling. I need sleep too.
Eula also seems to make a decision, "I still need to complete my mission, however… I believe the sun is starting to set. I will set out again in the morning. Goodnight."
And then she leaves HQ…
Ah, what a wacky first day… In Genshin Impact…
If only my good friends were here to see it with me, to see and wonder at all the sights. Oh, and look at that, I'm sad again.
You know, if you win, you can always go back to your homeworld and stuff. Since the version 2.0 system, we've been tracking where our players were coming from, and we mark it down for the players to come back to later. And world jumping is a pretty easy ability, actually, despite the standard's systems flaws and stuff that seeps into all of our current systems.
Wait a minute.
Are you.
Deadass?
?
Yeah.
I'm.
Deadass.
My depression is cured! If I win, I'll visit Mike, Jerald, Kris, and all my other good pals! Yes, Jaeger, there is literally not a single reality where I lose, do you hear me? We're going to speedrun this thing!
Loud and clear, my guy. That being said…
...Yeah?
It would be really unfortunate if your opponent is on another continent.
Please don't fucking jinx it for me, dude. I'm going to find Kaeya and find my home, good night.
An:
Brought to you by my sleep-deprived ass writing this at 12 am. I'm very skeptical about how I wrote Eula, and I was half tempted to replace her with literally anyone else, but then I thought 'eh, fuck it.' and here we are.
And about the teleport situation, once again, my brain goes 'lmao' and my hands go brrrr.
Well, if you've literally got one of the developers of the system inside your head, there's a less than a 1 percent chance you're losing anyways. I'm sure the ability to teleport to essentially anywhere you've been isn't too much.
I have no idea when I decided to turn Cereal into a merchant, but it sounds great in my head, so I'll proceed. Maybe I should get him to level 15… Maybe make up a quest idk.
[I've been playing with Tartaglia more, and god fucking damn it, I really want to write another pvp fic where the mc is just someone who really likes to fight, even without any modifiers like that. But if I do that, I'll never finish anything. =(]
[Maybe if I let go of all of my delusions of any PvP gamer fic going past like 80k words because the end goal being to kill someone else usually results in short things, I'll finish one of these sometimes in the next year or two.]
[...Maybe drop the players in at other times rather than just 1 week before canon?]
[Fuck.]
