Cereal

Hey, Cereal, do you think it's morally acceptable to create a new world, grab someone so you can force them to fight in a tournament against their parallel counterparts for other people's entertainment?

Who the actual fuck starts a conversation like that?! I just woke up!

Hypothetical situation, of course.

No, no, no. You society of degenerate gods probably do run a very morally bankrupt fighting ring. I'd bet money on it.

Okay, you know what, you got me. We do make characters fight themselves and we made a sport out of who has the best version of that character.

Yeah, so why the hell are you asking me if that's morally acceptable or not? Because the answer is pretty clear there.

Well, I was chatting with Paradise earlier, and he was bragging about how his Eren Yeager was going to be better than my Eren Jaeger, which is totally impossible by the way. I'm the original Jaeger.

And he decided to just grab a Eren at childhood to 'min-max' him or whatever. So do you think that's moral? Because I took my Eren and guided him throughout the series to the end to make kino happen, and for Paradise to skip the journey seems like a dick move.

That…

Definitely…

Is not my problem.

Actually, wait, you were talking with who now?

Paradise.

Who is Paradise?

I swear I've told you this name before.

I woke up a minute ago. Cut me some slack.

Yeah whatever he's a developer like me.

Yeah… So, you're still here? If Paradise entered, you could just follow him and leave, right?

Lmao I asked if I could leave and they laughed in my face and told me to see it to the end. Not too sad though tbh.

Is that the copium speaking?

Item received.

[Empty syringe - It's an empty syringe. It seems to be used recently.] x66

Oh.

Uh.

Eh.

Um.

Er.

Ehm.

It's.

It.

Ah.

If you think that's bad, try the 1390 syringes of pure copium I took when I couldn't find a natural AoE anywhere.

By the way, door.

The door to my suddenly opened, revealing Jean to be staring at me, "Ah, Cereal, are you there?" She said.

Hm, well, I guess I should answer, anything to get my mind off of that conversation just now, "WHY! I AM [better than HOPIUM!]! WHAT ARE YOU [Silly ACTing] TODAY?" I said, gesturing to her.

I just woke up, why is she here? Am I in trouble?

"Ah," Jean said, "I was informed by Jaeger you would wake up at this time. He was very helpful in dictating my letter to the other nations. It was a very… Enlightening conversation. I still can't wrap my head around it myself, to be honest."

...Wait a minute. "HOoOoOoOoW DDDDDDDD YYYYyYYYYU KOW ABTTUTO [him]?!" I asked, which for some reason translated into that distorted mess.

Haha… Er, have a memory?


Jean (Few hours ago)

Jean had a slight problem. She simply didn't know enough about this 'system' that Cereal has in order to correctly convey it inside of a letter. While the message Cereal brought with him was certainly enough to convince her that it was real, it would be nice to have a more concrete understanding about Cereal's existence and mission.

Which is why she was here late at night after a very short sleep. Standing outside of Cereal's guest room, she knocks on the door and calls out to Cereal, "Are you awake, Cereal? I would like to discuss a few things with you…"

"Come inside. The door is unlocked."

That didn't sound like Cereal at all.

While she didn't have her weapon on her right now, she could easily rely on her vision to create a weapon out of anemo for her should she require it.

May lord Barbatos protect her.

She enters the room with bated breath, waiting to find out why Cereal suddenly seemed so… Calm.

Only to see Cereal's body in a slumped form, standing deathly still.

"Cereal?" Jean calls out, checking the room around her for any signs of life, but finding none.

"Ah, I forgot to introduce myself," the voice suddenly said, coming out of the body of Cereal, "My name is Jaeger. I assume you've heard from Kaeya of the 'god' living inside of Cereal? That's me."

Jean looked briefly surprised before asking, "What did you do to Cereal, then?"

"He's asleep. He doesn't really need it, but I suppose this was just his first day, and sleep is pretty nice, I don't really blame him," Jaeger said.

Jean narrows her eyes, "And what are you doing? I assume you are here without his knowledge?"

Jaeger hums, "Eh, he knows of my existence, I talk to him a lot considering I'm literally inside of his head. But ignoring that… Why are you here?"

Jean became even more suspicious, "You dodged my question. Is he aware that you're speaking using his body?"

Jaeger sighs, "Nah. But I'll tell him later. It's not like I'm allowed to actually move in this body anyways. If he wants to rest, he can rest. But enough of why I'm here, why are you here?"

Jean sighs, she supposed this was as far as she gets, that being said, if he was a 'god'... "I was writing my letters to the other nations, and I needed more information about… Whatever you are, in order to fully explain the situation."

"Oh? You wanted to know about the PvP system? You should've just started with that. Here, I'll tell you all about it… Er, grab a pen and paper."


Cereal

"JAEGER. WHAT THE [#*$! THE PRESSES!]! YOU CAN JUST [pull the strings and make them ring] LIKE THAT?! I'M THE [Boss] AROUND HERE!"

Lol sorry but there was nothing to do anymore before Paradise came in to wreck my self-confidence.

Hah… You know what, alright. I'll forgive you for now... But like, please get me some quests or something to level up.

I gotchu fam. I've been fetching some quests from the depths of hell before I got bored.

Quests obtained.

Crafting mania.

Craft as many items as possible in 1 session.

Reward: 2*(Items Crafted) Exp.

X

Architect.

Create your own building.

Reward: 650 exp, 1 gacha token.

Cool. Crafting mania sounds easy and probably a good way to boost my level up really high… Architect, I dunno. Maybe I'll make a disneyland.

The sound of Jean suddenly woke me up, "Ah, Cereal? Are you alright? You went quiet for a moment there…"

"MY [#1 Apology Video]! I WAS [SPEAKING]!" I apologized as best I could.

"To Jaeger, I assume? He has told me about these… Quests, of yours I believe. And your main one is to kill the 'villain player,' yes? Do you require our aid in anything currently?" Jean asked.

...Jaeger, how much did you tell her?

Anything she asked tbh. But obviously I omitted some things out.

I see.

"NOTHING! THERE IS [Nothing for you to scream about]!" I said, "NOW I NEED TO [get BIG]!"

And then I walked out of the room with a checklist I wanted to complete.

Firstly, see if I could smelt this iron or something and get like… Better iron or something. The blacksmith guy whose name I forgot could probably do that with my other ores too.

And… Jaeger?

Yeeeeaaah?

When can I make a gun?

After a disastrous version 1, all forms of guns are heavily nerfed. But if you want, it's at level 60-80 along with all of the other futuristic stuff.

...Damn it. Could you give me some kind of list on what I can make at what level?

Eh, we let players make anything they can think of, and we just substitute the materials with similar sounding stuff if something doesn't exist in their world.

For engineers, the crafting thing goes like 1-20 is building blocks and materials, 20-40 is basic machinery like some medieval and renaissance stuff. 40-60 is a filler area filled with neat things like hidden entrances, auto-replacing anvils, water jet propulsion systems and all that cool jazz.. 60-80 is where you go to the modern age and build robots and cool stuff like that. And 80-150 is where we just let you do whatever you can.

...Huh.

That… Is certainly a list.

...And I get nothing to protect myself other than what I've got.

I'm level 11.

Well, we didn't expect a total disgrace to pick a production class as their starting class.

That's… Fair.

Still, screw you. It sounded like a good idea when I was there, alright?

Maybe it would've been worth it if you just got more modifiers lmao. We give a freebie modifier out whenever you pick a new class, so only picking one modifier out of the dozens of actually useful modifiers is a catastrophic mistake. Especially considering there aren't that many 'bad' modifiers in the support category.

Ah.

Shit.

Give me a refund?

When I find a natural AoE

Shit.


Wagner looked at me confusedly, "You want me to… What now?"

"DID I [stutter]?" I asked, "MAKE [Merry] WITH MY [Goods]!"

True, broken speech was making communication a pain, but if I keep brute forcing this, it'll work eventually.

"I don't know how to 'make merry' with the things in front of me! What even are you?" Wagner asked, clearly getting irritated at my words.

"WHAT A [total disgrace] OF A [Furnace]! JUST [do it!]" I said again, getting nowhere.

"Look, 'Cereal' or whatever. I don't know what you're saying so-"

I placed a large pile of mora next to the materials I've given him, but kept enough for me to craft some more chains of mora later for some casual economy breaking duplication.

Wagner looked at the mora, back to me, and back to the mora, "Ah, I finally see what you're getting at. I'll make these ores into bars, that alright?"

"GOOD TO SEE WE ARE [Trade Request Accepted]!" I said, rubbing my hands in slight glee that it actually worked.

...That was like 20,000 mora though?

I can make infinite money!

Fair.

Now… Maybe I should go visit around Mondstadt and find some characters I like.

Like who?

Er… Fischl, who was my main… Uh, Venti, maybe… Diluc… Actually, not him. He never came home, and I'm still bitter about it… Bennett?

Quite the extensive list of people you have there.

Shut it.

I'll just try to find someone on my list by teleporting through all my waypoints.


"Ugh, where is Cereal? If he does not appear I cannot-"

"HELLO [End User License Agreement]! HOW IS IT [hanging?]"

"wHA- Wait, no, I will have my vengeance for this! You shall not be wringing an apology from me for the events that transpired yesterday any longer due to this exchange!"

"[rip] BYE BYE [1.8M Damage Per Screenshot]!"

"Why you-"


"And that's why I'm going to destroy Teyvat's wine industry! It will be swift! It will be brutal! And I will not give up!"

"WOW THAT'S SO [nice] I COULD'VE [cried inside.]!"

"What the heck are you?!"

"CEREAL."

"Cereal? Er… Do I know you from somewhere?"

"A WORLD [far, far, away.]"

"...I don't get it. Are you here to destroy the wine industry with me?"

"[No.]"

"Then why the heck are you here?!"

"[LAUGHING my !#$ OUT]"


Eventually, I did find someone I was looking for. At Angel's Share, of course.

Venti

Level 130

Coooool…

Well, of course Venti would be here, although it looks like he's just entering…

Venti then stops and turns around to look at me, before saying, "Well, I didn't see you there a moment ago! Could you be the one people call Cereal?"

Cereal is never going to get old.

It most definitely is, just saying.

Nah.

"YES! THAT IS [me!]! [#1 Universal Puppet] AT YOUR SERVICE [Anemoculus]!"

Venti raised his eyebrows at my choice of words, "Huh… Anemoculus? Do you know me?"

Memories of spending way too much money on his rerun came to the front of my mind, leaving only regret behind.

"Far… Far too much…" I said gloomy, not bothered at all the voice sounded completely normal again for the second time.

Venti started to get extremely suspicious, "Oh really then? What's my name, then?"

I perk back up, a slightly mean thought coming into my head, "YES! YOU ARE THE [sleepy wisp] OF MONDSTADT! THE [one] AND [1/2] [Name Blocked]!"

Venti's eyes widened, realizing the implications of 'sleepy wisp' and 'name blocked', "Oh! Er, um, this isn't the best place to talk then… Erm…"

"NO" I said, avoiding this situation entirely despite bringing it up, "YOU WILL FIND OUT."

"YOU WILL"

"YOU WILL"

"YOU WILL"

"YOU WILL"

"YOU WILL"

"YOU WILL"

"..."

"6 DAYS."

And then I teleported out of there.

It was kind of rude, but you know, it's all harmless fun I'll clarify someday in the future.

I thought you were the hero player, not the cryptid player lmao.

I blame you for this, didn't you call yourself a villain? And you can clearly influence people without physically being here…

...Shit, am I negating your hero player's mind?

What does heroic deeds even mean? Not murder people? Because I find murder to be pretty dumb.

Well, great to see you've kept some of your morals.

...Wait, are you just a natural cryptid?

…Maybe I am.

You disgust me.

What the- Where the heck did that come from?!


After searching around for a while and finding nothing, I eventually gave up and went back to Wagner and got my neat stuff back. What can I do with those? Nothing right now, other than to break it down and build it back up again, but it's better to have it than not. I might need it later.

Now here I am, in Jean's office to tell her I'm about to go on a crafting spree.

"Er, hello, Cereal. Do you need something?" Jean asked curiously at my sudden appearance in the room?

"DO YOU WANT ANYTHING?" I asked her.

Jean seems to understand after a quick moment of thinking, "Oh, does this relate to your… Resource duplication you are able to do?"

Jaeger, seriously, how much did you tell her?

Well, she wanted to know a rough idea of what you can do.

Ah… Fine, "[Hai!]" I replied.

"Then could you…"


And that was how I ended up inside my room, ready to craft up a bunch of wood, ores, barrels, and other useful things for a nation in the middle of a lake.

Much to my dismay, I just learned I cannot craft food, not even to make a block of meat or anything.

So, Jaeger, have any super duper secret tricks for this?

Well, theoretically, you could reach the max level, 150, if you went at this for like, a few months straight.

...Months? Seriously? I don't have time for that!

You could get to level 100 in maybe a few weeks.

That's only slightly better! Isn't there a way to make this faster?

Nah, you're stuck doing the craft, disassemble, and then craft trick over and over again. If it makes you feel better, the crafting time for everything is 1 second because you're an automaton.

That… Does make me feel a bit better.

Er, how about this… When do I get my second class?

Level 30, why?

Alright… How long do you think it'll take for me to get to that?

Eh… Maybe a few hours.

A few hours… That doesn't sound so bad.

Yeah.

Ah… Can I… Take breaks?

One session, what do you think that means?

Damn it.

Then… Welp.

Maybe player's mind will help a tiny bit.

I started the cycle of crafting, disassembling, and crafting.

Fortunately, unlike the unforgiving atmosphere of the factory, I have a cool friend to tell me cool stories while I move my hands in a set motion for a few hours.

Wait, what?

Look, you said you were like, a few hundred years old, right? You probably have cool stories to tell!

...Well, of course I do. I'm the real Jaeger, of course. I have tons of cool stories of me beating up other losers who wanted to call themselves Eren, or Yeager, or god forbid Jaeger.

Go on, war veteran.

Alright, so here's this one time where I used someone else's character as a weapon to beat up…


An:

No, I didn't get writer's block or anything. I just got really lazy and only partly worked on this over a few days instead of doing most of it in 1 session like I usually do.

That being said, I'll stop trying to do a chapter for something every week just to give myself a bit of calm. Or not, honestly, depends on what I need to do in a week and how I'm feeling.

Consider my update schedule as inconsistent, if anything.

Well, send a review or something, since I'm still in that learning phase of making fics, considering I've been making fics for only like 3 months now.

[Shit, has it really been 3 months already? Time flies by, man…]

[Was considering a Venti PoV at the end, and then realized that writing his PoV would be too much work on my part.]

[I looked up how many seconds there are in a day, realized it was way too high, and then just said, 'eh, whatever, random number let's gooo']

[I'll probably have Cereal stop in the mid 40s, unless if anyone has any objections to that, then maybe mid 30s.]

[Still undecided whether to drop the enemy player in Inazuma or Liyue. Considering a non-human rogue for him though. Maybe a mage? Who knows lmao.]

[I'm looking at this chapter, and am I putting way too much lines in bold? I don't want the system or Jaeger to be not bold though, and I don't want Jaeger to be silent all too much...]

[Who's the idiot who decided to make a gamer fic? Oh wait, that's me.]