On Monday, the halls were buzzing with gossip from Gilbert's party. Everyone was whispering over who hooked up with who. It felt to Ivan as if the party was still going on. Having left early, he didn't really care to know what had happened. It wasn't like he enjoyed the party anyway. He only went for Chun-Yan.
"Why did you and Chun-Yan leave so early?" Gilbert asked, leaning against the locker neighboring Ivan's. "The party was just getting started. I would have liked to see you doing shots with the rest of us. Did you and Chun-Yan have a curfew or something?"
"Yeah, I had to get her home. Her dad is pretty strict when it comes to rules. I'm the only guy he trusts to take care of her, so I had to take her to my place and sober her up before taking her home. Her dad would've killed her if she went home drunk."
"You're a good friend to her. It's no wonder you have the honor of being her best friend." He laughed. "You know, some of the cheerleaders have it out for you because of it. They can't see why she would choose the most quiet kid in school to be her best friend. I mean, even if you ask me, it doesn't make sense. But then again, you two have always been close. Friendship isn't something the general public needs to understand."
Ivan gave him a confused look. "Thanks, I think?" He was still trying to comprehend whatever Gilbert had just said about how odd it was for him and Chun-Yan to be best friends. Was it really that weird? He knew that everyone knew what he had done to his father, and that he had gone away to a mental health facility for a year and a half for it. When he really thought about it, why did Chun-Yan insist that he be her best friend? Didn't she know what it was doing to her reputation? Although he was forever grateful for such a wonderful friendship, why did she choose him?
.
Chun-Yan smiled up at Ivan when he joined her at her locker. "Hey Ivey! How's your morning going?" She smiled brightly at him. Her heart stuttered when he smiled back, bringing warmth to her cheeks.
"It's not too bad." He shrugged. "Seems like everyone's talking about Gilbert's party, though. It makes me wonder what we missed."
Having remembered what happened at Ivan's house after they left the party, Chun-Yan blushed. "I'm sure we didn't miss anything." She had been finishing up her homework over the weekend when she thought about what it would be like to really kiss Ivan, and then the memory of his tongue inside of her returned and her body had gone up in flames.
"Who cares about the drama of who fucked who?" he laughed. "We were already asleep when that shit was going on."
Her heart pounded in her chest. "Yeah, haha! Too bad, I guess. At least we got great sleep." She tried to do everything she could to suppress the memory of Ivan's pleasuring tongue deep inside of her. "What's better than a sleepover with your bestie?"
"Chun, can I ask a honest question?" Ivan gulped. "Why did you choose me to be your best friend? Like, out of everyone else, why was it me? I don't really understand it. Even after everything that happened in middle school, you still chose me."
"Ivan, you've always been my best friend, ever since we were little. Why do you think that what happened would change anything? What happened doesn't mean I don't care about you. You did that for your mom. You're her hero. How could I ever hate you for that? You're my best friend because I chose you to be." She reached her hand up and caressed the side of his face. "I don't ever want to hear you questioning my choice ever again."
"I'm sorry, Chun. I shouldn't be so insensitive."
She crossed her arms over her chest. "Yeah, you shouldn't."
He smiled bashfully. "I'll never question you again."
.
Leon sat alone at lunch, like usual. It wasn't that he didn't have friends because they didn't like him. He just didn't want any and would ignore anyone who tried. Though he knew that if Emil ever wanted to sit with him, there was no way he would deny him that place, even if he preferred to be alone.
His brown eyes followed Emil to his usual table with the popular kids in their grade. He knew that he would never be able to sit there, but he couldn't help but wish for it. If he were popular, he would be able to talk to Emil whenever he pleased. Hell, he could have even asked Emil out by that point. How his heart longed to be with that sweet Icelandic boy! But for now, he would just need to watch from afar.
.
The day of the school's first football game came along, which meant every cheerleader and popular girl was wearing some team member's jersey for good luck. Alfred's Jersey looked like a dress on Chun-Yan, in which she put on a belt that matched the secondary color and some leggings. Every boy in school's head turned when she walked by, but she ignored all of them except for Alfred and Ivan.
"Put your eyes on someone else," Ivan grumbled during lunch. He couldn't help but feel like the entire school was staring at their table because of Chun-Yan and Alfred wearing matching home and away jerseys. He glanced over to see Alfred and Chun-Yan huddled together and laughing. "Can you two stop being so cute? Everyone's staring."
Chun-Yan giggled and cupped Ivan's chin in her hand, turning his head to face her. "Are you jealous that I'm not giving you attention, Ivey?" she teased, a playful smirk on her perfect lips.
His cheeks heated with embarrassment. "It's not like that! I'm just sick of all of these people staring! It's like they've never seen a sickeningly cute couple, but their gaze is also on their third well, also known as me!"
She giggled. "You're cute, Ivan. I get it. We'll tone it down."
"Not one for the spotlight?" Alfred asked, smiling at him. "I totally get that. I'm sorry for all of the attention coming our way. If you want, I can move."
"It's not you," Ivan assured. "It's Chun. If she wasn't so adorable all the time, I could live my life in peace. Unfortunately, she is too cute for this world, so I am doomed to be in the spotlight forever because she's my best friend. It's a sad life, really."
She elbowed her best friend in the ribs, laughing. "Oh, shut up! It's not that bad! And it's not like it's my fault that I'm cute! Blame my mom!"
"I didn't know you were so funny, man!" Alfred laughed. "If I had known how awesome you were, I would have befriended you a long time ago!"
Ivan was unsure of what to make of such a confession. Was Alfred being for real, or was he being kind for the sake of his girlfriend? It made him wonder if he even liked him all that much. Sure, Alfred was nice and would talk to him whenever he saw him in the hallway, but was he doing that just to please Chun-Yan? If Chun-Yan wasn't his best friend, would Alfred even give him the time of day? Could he even consider Alfred his friend?
"Hey, the bell rang. We should get to class, Ivey." Chun-Yan's voice brought him out of his thoughts. "You didn't really eat much. Are you feeling okay?" Her hand rested on his forehead. "You don't seem to have a fever. Do you want to go to the nurse just in case?"
He absently nodded in response, ready to do anything to get out of the spotlight, even for just a half hour. His body seemed to move on its own as he went to dump his tray. Everything felt like he wasn't real as he moved. Was it really true? Was everyone acting like his friend because of Chun-Yan? Outside of her, did he even have any real friends?
.
Ivan tossed and turned in bed that night. No matter how hard he tried to sleep, it eluded him. He felt a strange pressure in his chest due to it. Why couldn't he just sleep like a normal person? Even if his body was tired, his mind refused to shut off. He just wished he could stop thinking and relax for once.
As he cleared his mind, a hazy memory suddenly came upon him. He closed his eyes to see it clearer. Chun-Yan was naked in his bed and he was eating her out. His heart pounded as he remembered the sounds of her moans and the way she tasted. Then came the memory of her mouth on his cock. His breath became ragged as he remembered, his hand slipping into his pants. Her hot breath had been so arousing and her tongue did things to him that his own hand never could. He could feel his desire taking over.
Once he had cleaned himself and laid back in bed, the realization hit him. He and Chun-Yan had oral sex! But she seemed completely into it! He was mortified by remembering it! How could he ever do something like that with his best friend? Would he ever be able to behave normally around her again? How would she feel if she remembered that too? Did she already remember? How awkward were things going to get?
At least he'd have a legitimate reason for not sleeping. But how was he going to bring it up to Chun-Yan?
.
Alfred approached Chun-Yan in the hallway before their first class of the day, leaning against her locker. "Hey, Chun-Yan, can I ask you something?"
"Hmm? What's up, Al?" She turned to him and smiled as she shut her locker. It was one of the rare times when Ivan wasn't around, so it was a perfect opportunity to get an honest answer about things between her and him.
"Have you ever hooked up with Ivan?" he asked, lowering his voice so only she could hear. "I just…You both have seemed kinda weird around each other. I don't know how to explain it, but there seems to be a bit of a wall between you two."
"You really think so?" she asked, putting a finger to her chin as she thought it over. "Nothing has really changed between us." Realizing that she let something slip, her eyes widened in horror as she looked to her "boyfriend". "Al, you can't tell anyone." Panic coated her voice. "No one can know what happened between us, especially since I'm supposed to be your girlfriend."
"How did it happen? When did you do it?"
"It was the night of the party. We were drunk and kinda got each other off." Her cheeks burned as she became more flustered. "Can we please not talk about this? I'll literally die where I stand. Besides, I doubt he even remembers what happened. We were both so drunk that I didn't remember until a couple days later. Oh shit, Al! What will I do when he finally does remember? Do you think he'll hate me or be disgusted with me?"
"How could you think something like that?" Alfred asked her, pulling her into a hug. "If only you could see the way he looks at you, Chun-Yan! Ivan is all about you. There is nothing he wouldn't do for you. Maybe he really is in love with you and won't realize it until he remembers."
"But what if he did remember and now things are weird? I don't think I would be able to take that kind of silent rejection, Al. It would eat me alive." She squeezed her fake boyfriend back. "What will he think of me? I should have never gotten that drunk, Al. It was a huge mistake."
"What was a huge mistake?" Ivan asked as he approached them. "What did you do while you were drunk?"
Chun-Yan quickly pulled away from Alfred, eyes wild. "Ivan! How long have you been listening?"
"I heard you were drunk and made some kind of mistake," he replied, his face blank.
She immediately hugged him. "Don't worry about that, Ivey. I'm okay."
He patted her back. "If you say so."
.
Ivan's mind was plagued by Chun-Yan's words. Had she been telling her boyfriend about what they'd done? What did Alfred think of him now? His heart sank in his chest every time he thought about how upset she looked before she realized he was there. Was Alfred going to break up with her because of what they did? He couldn't let his best friend take all of the blame. He had equally been a part of it. But how could he talk to Alfred about it?
He walked into the library during his study hall, ignoring the glare of Mrs. Kirkland, the librarian. She hated him for things he had done when he was younger, things he couldn't take back, but he wasn't going to let her judgment get him down. Her opinion didn't matter.
Chun-Yan was studying at the back table, and Ivan knew it would be the only chance he had to speak to her when he knew Alfred wouldn't be around. He had to apologize for what they had done. How could he have allowed his intoxicated self to do something like that to his best friend? She had a boyfriend! What had he been thinking? There was so much wrong with it!
"Ivan," she whispered, mouth forming into a happy smile as she greeted him. "How's your day going? You look concerned about something. What's wrong?"
"Can we go talk somewhere where we won't be overheard?"
She quickly nodded and stood up, leading the way out of the library and into a maintenance closet. "The brooms and mops will muffle the noise," she whispered, pointing around them to the various cleaning utensils. "What's going on, Ivan? Why the sudden secrecy?"
"Do you remember the night of the party at Gilbert's?" he asked, voice low. "Do you remember what we did afterward?" Ivan swallowed, closing his eyes for a moment to think about how to phrase it. "Do you remember what we did once we got to my house?"
Chun-Yan's eyes filled with tears as she slowly nodded. "I do." Her voice broke in a way Ivan had never heard before. "But I'll be honest with you. I don't regret it."
