"Why are you- don't touch that, I don't want to clean your insides from the floor -why are you still here?" The young shinobi yanks Hiruzen back by the collar, tossing him into Kagami to stop both of them from messing around. "Why aren't you go collecting the Forgotten Child?" Tobirama smiles over the top of his cup of coffee, shifting as Shukaku wobbles dangerously on his lap in the throws of sleep.

"Matatabi can take care of herself. Anyway, I trust Konoha not to do anything overwhelmingly stupid." The shinobi snorts- Tobirama really aught to learn his name -shaking his head in disgust.

"I wouldn't count on it. God, I don't know why we even have a treaty with those crazy assholes." The boy pauses before shooting a glare at Tobirama. "Also, it takes you- what? A week? To get from Konoha to Uzushio and you want me to believe that you managed to overlook an entire child that long? Or that you were in Konoha at all, considering how recent your first visit was? Your story has a lot of holes-"

"Teleportation," Tobirama interrupts, catching Danzo at the kid tries to sneak away. He doesn't need an international issue on his hands, thank you. He learned long ago not to trust Danzo and his extremely dangerous and stupid plans.

"I'm sorry, what?" The shinobi asks flatly, tripping up Kagami and sending a dark glare at Hiruzen when the boy looks like he's going to start inching his way back over to the incomplete inverting seal. At least the other three are behaving. They're the intelligent ones and that makes them so much harder to contain.

"Teleportation," Tobirama repeats. "A jutsu I invented called the Hiraishin allows me to teleport. How else do you think I managed to escape Uzushio with the entire village shut down? Anyway, I didn't come back for you to interrogate me on my bad life choices." The shinobi groans.

"I really need a drink for this..." He sighs, smacking a seal on Hiruzen that immediately reacts, binding him to Kagami. Tobirama could really use that, actually- he'll have to steal one when he leaves. "Alright, you mentioned something about adverse effects earlier before you raided my kitchen for your gremlins and sand son?" Tobirama arches a brow at the nicknames but the shinobi resolutely ignores him and his silent question. Maybe he should steal all his coffee as recompense-

"Are you more... wild than usual?" The shinobi asks warily, pushing the squirming Sarutobi-Uchiha bundle farther away. Tobirama blinks, refocusing on his conversation partner.

"Perhaps. The meeting with Madara seemed to have made it more active. It's... screwing with my emotions."

"Wait so- this doesn't make sense. Why would you come back to tell me all the way at Uzushio when you can't even be sure you can trust me?"

"Well, you're the only scientist I have access to and I had to come up this way anyway before my Wave team decides to hunt me down."

"Your- nevermind, not important." The shinobi rubs at his eyes. "Alright, so, what do you want me to do about it?"

"Help me to get rid of the leech. Then I'll never bother you again." The shinobi eyes him suspiciously.

"Never?"

"Never," Tobirama promises like the liar he is.

"Well, with an offer like that... guess I have to help you."