"Blue, what's that asari word?"
"Amaranth." Liara stated. She stared at Shepard. Jane stared right back. Time slowed down as the unspoken words flashed back and forth. Finally, they both nodded in agreement.
Chapter 10, Amaranth
Over the next three days Miranda talked. A lot. She talked about her childhood, her crushed hopes and dreams, her father and his ridiculous demands on his daughters.
Most of the time she was joined by her younger sister Oriana, who shared her own stories about their dad. All tales confirmed what Miranda had always claimed; Henry Lawson had been a cruel, cold father. He'd created two girls to further his own agenda. Heartless.
Jane and Liara found it is impossible not to feel bad for the sisters. These girls never had a chance at a normal childhood. They never had a mother to hug or hold or kiss them, a parent who simply accepted them for what they were. Oriana, even Miranda shed a tear when recalling those memories. Jane marveled at their strength - their childhood had been warped beyond belief but the two sisters had grown into reasonable, smart women. Shepard was no psychologist but Miri's upbringing did explain a lot about her friend's social skills. Or rather, lack thereof.
Cerberus had been a huge part of young Miranda's life. She talked about the isolated, regimented existence. The early mornings, the endless drills and exercises. Yes - she'd been driven, obsessed with her work, but there had barely been anything else. Her work had been her life.
Shepard was not surprised at all when Miranda sat down with her as they tried to get some work done in the Broker's office.
"Jane, I feel... different. Conflicted. I don't know what to feel."
Shepard nodded slowly. She turned her chair to face her friend and spoke thoughtfully, almost whispering.
"I hear you. Last week has been brutal. Your father is gone, by your hand. A day later you completely lost control when you killed Kai Leng. Your Father, Cerberus, you dealt with a major portion of your past last week. Most people would fall apart - I'm surprised how well you're dealing with this. You're an incredibly strong woman."
That put a hesitant smile on Miri's lips. "Thanks Jane. I'm trying to put it behind me but it's more difficult then I imagined."
"I've listened to your stories. Oriana's stories. You've been denied a normal childhood. For a good portion of your life you were with Cerberus, a violent, hateful organization. You've got a lot on your plate Miranda, it's going to take a lot more then a few days to work through this."
She nodded slowly, her voice a quiet whisper. "Ori said the same thing. She even mentioned... counseling. Perhaps even counseling together - with Ori I mean."
Shepard took the woman's hand, squeezing it lightly. "That might be really good advice. Take all the time you need. Exhale. Give yourself enough time to adjust to the situation. These are major events, you don't get over it in a few days."
Slowly exhaling she nodded. "You're right. I just needed to hear that. You're a wise woman Shepard. And a true friend."
Jane grinned. "Wise? Not sure about that one. I've been in war zones. I've seen the effects of traumatic events. And the best response is to talk about it. As often as you need. You're doing fine Miri, don't stop talking. Liara and I will gladly listen to all your stories. And you could always chat with Doctor Chakwas, she knows a thing or two."
"Karin? Is she a psychiatrist?"
"No. But being a military doctor for all her life has turned her into a wonderful counselor. Why not give it a try... together with your sister?"
"That sounds good, I'm sure Ori is up for it. I'll contact Karin asap." Making a small, grateful sound she pulled Jane close. "Thank you."
Eight days later Jane waited for Miri and Liara in the agreed location - the starboard lounge. Miri's favorite place on the ship. Wonder what she wants to talk about?
"Hi Jane," Miranda entered, hair still a bit damp from the shower She eyed the Commander hesitantly, "thanks for coming. I want to talk to you."
"I figured that. How are things?"
"Quite good actually. Oriana and I have met with Karin twice now. She's an amazing listener. She... she's been already been very helpful."
"I figured that. Karin's got lots of experience."
Jane appreciatively eyed her friend - and immediately felt underdressed in her own boring navy blue. Miranda had sworn of the Cerberus catsuit but was uncomfortable in an Alliance uniform so she had taken on the pleasant habit of wearing suits. Pleasant because she looked absolutely spectacular. Hot. Today's attire was an old rose, form fitting pants and jacket over a clear white blouse which sported small accents of playful, sensual lace over the top buttons. Her dark long hair created a gorgeous contrast with her clothing. Shepard noticed the jacket straining to contain the woman's large breasts and licked her lips, admiring the way the tempting curves filled the -
"My eyes are up here Shepard!"
"Oh yes, errr, sorry."
Rolling her eyes but with a happy smirk on her lips Miranda took Shep's hand. "It's fine when you look me up and down. You are allowed to. But tonight I wanted to discuss something with the two of you. Liara should be here any minute. Drink?"
Jane looked around the starboard lounge. With the lights so dim the bright stars of the Terminus system blasted through the large window, creating a warm, almost surreal atmosphere. "Just some water please." Seating herself on the couch she heard the soft noise of the door.
"Liara!" Miri welcomed the asari with a hug and a friendly kiss before pouring three cups of water.
When they were seated Miri took a deep breath and fiddled with her lace collar, taking a few moments before starting of. "I wanted to talk to the both of you. I... I need to know what we have. The three of us. I mean..." she fumbled for words while the couple patiently waited, "I cherish your friendship but we all know it's gone beyond that. The sex... the sex is awesome, but where do we stand? Where is this going?"
Liara started to speak but Miranda raised her hand. "Please, let me clarify something first." Her cheeks colored slightly as she pushed out the words. "Relationships have never been easy for me. I'm aware that my social skills are... underdeveloped. It's not arrogance when I say I'm highly intelligent - and perhaps that's somewhat of a curse here - I can barely tolerate someone who can't keep up."
Taking the couple's silence as encouragement she continued.
"My childhood and being with Cerberus hasn't helped either. My work kept me busy around the clock, leaving me with little time to pursue my own interests. Hiding behind my work, hiding behind the ice queen image was a way to avoid... emotional involvements."
Taking a small sip of water her voice was a soft whisper. "As a result... I've had very few real relationships. I... I barely know what love is."
Shepard sat in stunned silence. Miranda completely baring her soul like that was unexpected. "I never knew. You always appeared so confident, so strong."
"I know. I 've become an expert at hiding my feelings."
"Miranda," Liara's voice was warm, caring, "how can we help? Is there anything in particular?"
Lovingly touching the maiden's shoulder Miri smiled. "You already have... you two have helped me immensely!" She took the asari's hand. "Liara, you're like a breath of fresh air. We have deep, meaningful discussions together, working with you is an absolute delight. I feel very close to you. I love..."
Turning to Shepard she blushed lightly, "Jane, I admire your determination and kindness. You're a born leader with tremendous insight on what your team needs. It's a pleasure and a privilege to be around you two."
Liara and Jane looked at each other and smiled. They both opened their mouths to speak but again Miri beat them to it.
"The two of you have turned my world upside down. It was a huge surprise when you invited me for a night of carefree fun sex. Even more shocking - I accepted!" She shook her head while smiling, clearly still surprised by the events of their first night.
"It's obvious you care for me. Interested in me. We're having a wonderful time together. You two are making me believe in love again!"
Liara smiled from ear to ear. "That's wonderful to hear. I've seen your transformation over the last six months and I'm very happy for you." Leaning in she gave Miri a warm hug and noticed Jane doing the same thing. "I never saw you smile while employed by Cerberus. Now every time I see you there's a smile on your face."
"I have a lot to be thankful for." Closing her eyes for a second she started, "I've left that narrowminded suffocating organization. I'm doing meaningful work in the war effort. My sister is safe aboard with us. And the two of you..." Sparkling eyes fondly took in Shep and Liara. "That brings me back to my first question: what is this thing we have?"
Taking the initiative Liara stated decisively, "I love you. Different than my love for Shepard - she's practically my bondmate already. You're intelligent, funny, driven. You're such a strong woman! And you're extremely sexy. I want to be around you. Through our relationship I'm discovering new things about myself. I cannot imagine my life without you!"
Nodding in agreement Jane took her hand. "I Love you too Miri. You're a wonderful friend, a joy to be around. I have tremendous respect for your loyalty, honesty and integrity. You're so much more then a friend. Blue, what's that asari word?"
"Amaranth." Liara stated. She stared at Shepard. Jane stared right back.
Time slowed down as the unspoken words flashed back and forth. Minutes passed in silence. Finally, they both nodded in agreement.
"Amaranth," Liara breathed. The excitement of what she was about to explain was catching up to her and she noticed herself panting lightly. "...does not have a proper translation in English. Closest would be... 'intimate friend' or 'loving companion'. An Amaranth is a third, or sometimes fourth 'intimate friend' of a couple. Sharing your life and bed with an Amaranth is quite common in asari culture."
"Would you like that Miri?" Jane whispered, feeling the weight of the moment, "would you like to be our Amaranth?"
Miri sucked in her breath. She trembled lightly. "Jane! Oh my Goodness... Liara..."
"I love..." Finally able to express all of her affection for the couple Miranda smiled. "I would love that! I love both of you. My life is so much better for knowing you. I love what we have together."
She sampled the alien word, "Ama-ranth. Thank you so much... I will cherish that title." She pulled them close for a warm hug.
"You're very welcome," Liara whispered. She planted a small kiss on Jane's forehead, then Miri's.
"But... but... how will that work? Will I sleep with you two? Will we all go out together? What if one of us wants some space?"
"Oh I don't have those answers yet!" Jane laughed, "guess we'll use my favorite method, 'make it up as you go along!'"
As usual Liara had a more sensible answer. "Communication is key. This is new for all of us. We'll sit down and discuss things, find an arrangement that works for us."
Miranda nodded. "Yes. I'm delighted to be your Amaranth," she smiled at the word rolling of her lips, "but I definitely don't want to get in the way of you two. Like you said, you're basically bondmates."
"We'll work it out," Liara stated, "we all want this. The last months have been wonderful. Perhaps the changes we make are minimal. And maybe they're not."
"For now," Jane rapidly stood, sensing a profound joy bubbling to the surface, "we toast to life, love and victory!"
"Yes!" Miri and Liara joined her and their exhilarated voices filled the Starboard lounge. "To love! To victory!"
They took a sip and smiled at each other with warm affection. "Awesome..." Miri breathed, sensing the genuine emotions enveloping them. Only a second later they were hugging again, the three of them wrapped in a heartfelt celebration of love.
"I'm not... I'm not c-crying dammit!"
"I love you."
"Love you too."
"This makes me so happy!"
...
A few minutes later they were seated again, arms on each other's shoulders with Miranda in the middle. The soft humming of the Engines created a soothing sound as they watched the endless stream of stars.
Liara recalled Miri's second question and whispered to the stars, "where is this going?"
She gently squeezed Miri shoulder and looked her in the eye. "Hard to say. The war is nearing its climax. You will always be welcome with us whatever the winds of change may bring. We'll win this and take it from there."
Jane blinked, nodding her approval. "We're having a great time together. We have today. Tomorrow is uncertain. Let's live in this moment."
Miranda noticed the unspoken. Just enjoy it - this could all end tomorrow
For a few minutes they sat in silence, simply cherishing their togetherness. Sitting in the middle, touching shoulder with both Shepard and Liara Miranda stared at the distant stars as she enjoyed the grateful, warm feelings deep within her. Always welcome with them. Not alone anymore...
She felt a tear in the corner of her eye. I'm still not crying dammit!
Liara flawlessly felt the emotions in her friend and held her close without saying a word.
Shep grinned, "Now if you do happen to bump into a hot man or woman or krogan, don't let us hold you back!"
That did it. The three busted out in laughter with Miri spilling water on her suit. "Oh gosh! Shepard!"
Her words came like a waterfall, "And that's another thing! I've always considered myself straight... but you two... yesterday I woke up next to a woman and an asari. That is... that is..." she threw her hands up, "unheard of!"
She laughed out loud, baring her teeth in a beautifully excited smile.
"Ok. I learned that I'm bisexual, but with two? And one of them not human!" Quickly turning to Liara she added "not that that's a bad thing, I mean-"
"I've been inside your head," Liara smiled as she laid a hand on her friend's shoulder, "I know how you see me. And I love you."
Miranda exhaled. "Ok. Yes. So every aspect of my life has been turned upside down. I'm very different from the Miranda Lawson I was two years ago and I'm trying damn hard to get used to it!"
