"Go suck an egg, Potter!" Pansy sneered at the boy that lived, wrapped her arms around Hermione's shoulders and began to steer her away.
"This doesn't concern you, snake!" Ron shouted. "Get off of her! Listen Hermione, I don't know if your parents getting killed messed you up in the head or what, but you don't have any right to treat us this way!"
Harry glanced around and stepped in to Hermione's personal space. "There is a war coming, you know that! You are the good side's greatest asset, don't tell me you are turning to the side that would kill you sooner than look at you!" He whispered urgently.
"You don't know anything! I do not work for you, I am not some pawn, and I don't give a rat's backside about your war! Don't for one second think you're doing the poor little mudblood any favors or keeping her safe! I keep you safe! You did this!" Hermione hissed through her teeth and let Pansy lead her away from the corner of the great hall that Harry and Ron had confronted her in.
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"I tell you, Pans, I don't even want to be me anymore. I don't want to look like me, walk like me, talk like me... I feel so weak and stupid as I am. I made all the wrong choices and look where it got me. I want to change."
"Believe me, Hermione, I understand. How old are you?"
Hermione furrowed her eyebrows. "That's a bit random. I'll be sixteen in only a couple weeks, why?"
Of course, Pansy already knew she had to be around sixteen already, but she didn't want to let on that she knew anything. Wanting to be someone else was a good sign for Pansy and Severus. It meant that Hermione might be that much more accepting of who she really was, but even still, this was not the time to reveal everything. Pansy had to stick to the plan. It was after all, her plan, and what kind of leader didn't follow their own plan?
"Well, at sixteen, you will come into your inheritance. You know, take on the family traits, gain a better affinity for a certain type of magic, all that."
"Pansy, I'm sure you must know that only happens to purebloods. I'm afraid I already have all the Granger family trademarks." Hermione lowered her eyes sadly.
"Right. Sorry, just forgot for a moment.. how did you get into our year earlier than everyone else? You should still be a fifth year, shouldn't you?"
"My magic was too wild. Apparently I have a temper, and so does my magic. 'It must be controlled straight away!' they said."
"That makes a lot of sense now, thinking back to all the times I've seen you go off on Draco and Weasley." Pansy smirked. "You know, I never understood why you fought so much with that one, I mean he was your friend...at one point, anyway. Though, look at him, how could he not just piss off everyone around him?"
Hermione snorted. "True though it may be, that's not very nice."
"Okay, fine. Now I'll work on being a good person."
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"Miss Granger, don't forget you have detention with me at lunch." Professor Snape said as he passed Hermione on the way from the great hall.
"Yes, Sir." She said as she followed the potions master.
Once they were in the potions lab and the door was closed, Professor Snape turned to Hermione. "I hear you want to take occlumency lessons?"
"Yes, Sir. You know me, gotta be the best at everything."
"You do know that I'll be able to see the real reason for wanting these lessons once we begin."
"Shall we find out, Sir?" The professor lifted his eyebrow at her in surprise at her boldness. "Sorry, Sir, I've been spending too much time with Pansy."
"I'd ask how that's going, but I think I'll simply find out for myself." He pointed his wand at her. "Legilimens!"
As soon as the professor raised his wand, Hermione started throwing up shields in her mind. She had no idea if she was doing it right, but she moved her stance in a more balanced and secure way, drawing strength from her center of gravity. She felt him at the forefront of her mind. She opened her eyes and stared at the deepest black of his robes, and let the color consume her. Her vision blurred and she began pulling memories of boring events such as walking through the corridors at school, or sitting through one of the history of magic lectures. She felt Professor Snape attempt to move passed this memory and she focused on another one; a charms lesson from last year. She refocused on the blackness of the professor's robe to catch her breath and in that moment, she faltered. She couldn't help but to be reminded of the blackness of the char marks on the ground all around her family home, or the twisting black smoke coming off of the two figures on the still burning couch. She slammed her eyes shut and looked away in anger. The professor hadn't forced his way into these memories but he'd seen them all the same. She stumbled and looked away in shame. Suddenly, she was alone in her thoughts once more.
"That was remarkable, Miss Granger."
"What? But I failed. I couldn't keep up the memories. I couldn't force you out."
"Maybe not, but I didn't leave your mind on my own, it was pulled away from me. You didn't do that on purpose?"
"No, Sir, I thought you just stopped."
Professor Snape shook his head no. "How strange.. Might we try again?"
Hermione put up her most determined look and nodded.
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"So how did your first lesson go?" Pansy asked grinning.
"It didn't work." Hermione frowned.
"Really? Don't worry, it took me all summer, I know if anyone can do it you can."
"No that's not what I mean." Hermione sighed.
"He couldn't see my mind." He could only get but so far before my mind, and I quote, 'drifted away from him'. He couldn't see anything, but it wasn't my doing. You try!"
"I can't, Hermione, I'm not a legilimens and it's illegal to perform until next year."
"Oh." Hermione looked down, disappointed.
"So what did he say about it?" Pansy asked.
"Just that he'll do some research and see what he can find. He said that he's never heard of something like it before and he's not sure if it means my mind is safe or if it's something like muggle ptsd. post traumatic stress disorder. He said it's possible my mind is simple shutting down when put under stress."
"That doesn't sound good." Pansy frowned. "Well, listen, I'm sure it will be fine. I know you'll get there, and don't worry, my mother's journals are just waiting for you to snoop through. I gotta grab some stuff for my next class, I'll see you at dinner." Pansy grinned and Hermione watched her walk away from their spot in the grass by the lake.
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"Severus? I just saw Hermione. She said the lesson didn't work. What happened?" Pansy entered the potions lab and set her bag on the nearest table.
"I'm not sure." He said looking extremely irritated. "I have a theory though. I'm going to speak with my master tonight. I suspect he is keeping her mind safe as part of our deal."
"Ah, that would make sense, and be extremely helpful. One less thing to worry about. You'll let me know when you talk to him, won't you?"
"Of course, Miss. I don't want to delay our plan any minute longer than we have to. Everyday that I know who she is is like torture."
"I know what you mean. I can't stand wondering if she'll be accepting or not."
"Speaking of which," Severus rummaged through one of his cabinets and pulled out a few bottles of pale lavender liquid. He handed one over to Pansy and downed the other himself. He cleared his throat. "for anxiety."
Pansy made a dash for the offered bottle and drank it as well. "Thank Merlin. I needed this."
Severus nodded and gave another one to Pansy. "For Hermione. I heard about the fight this morning with Potter and Weasley."
Pansy nodded. I'm sure she'll be extremely grateful. They really are idiots aren't they?"
"I've been saying that for years."
