"I can go first, if you want."


His words surprised her, on so many levels. Firstly because he could have made them sound teasing and malicious for the sake of it, he just had a knack for saying the most normal things in the most inappropriate way, but chose not to. But mostly because when he had first brought it up she hadn't expected him to be willing to reciprocate. That changed things, a lot; there was a payout on the table now and maybe, just maybe, he wasn't going to make fun of her this time.

The last push came from the realisation that if he went first he would have somehow taken control of the conversation, probably making a big deal out of it and nagging her to infinity if she didn't see through what she had started. The fact that she had not meant to start anything at all was, of course, inconsequential.

Whatever the case, Foster wasn't going to give him the satisfaction.

"I don't have one," she blurted out then. "Not just one at least."

"Figured."

Foster shook her head and rolled her eyes, mighty annoyed, then she killed the rest of her drink and went to pour herself another one. She had a feeling she was going to need it.

"Whining doesn't suit you, love."

Cal observed, then motioned her to give him a refill as well. She obliged, then went back to her seat with a loud and theatrical sigh.

"I like the ones where we went with the truth, despite everything." Her gaze was steady, her voice strong. Cal immediately realised she was deeply invested in her answer and she was going to own every last bit of it no matter what he might think. "Sometimes it went against our clients, sometimes it was a silly truth to uncover and sometimes we paid a personal price for it. But it was always worth it, because following the truth is what we do here." Gillian stopped and drank, flashing him a very determined look. "And I don't care what you think of it."

"As you shouldn't," he offered. "But why would you think I'd have a problem with it?"

His confusion seemed genuine, which threw her off the loop. Gillian had been ready to react to some jokes about her being sentimental and always so positive, looking for and expecting the good from all people, but she hadn't expected that almost painful remark.

"Truth or happiness," she said then. "Never both, you say. But finding the truth in our cases is what I signed up for when we started this, and the fact that we can deliver on that gives me happiness."

Cal welcomed her words with a look that was oozing understanding and appreciation, respect most of all. It was clear to her, he was letting her see it all with no opposition, and was mostly the reason why she didn't throw the glass of scotch in his face when he spoke.

"You're hopeless, you know that?" She stuck out to him the tip of her tongue in an hilarious pout, then he grinned and pointed at her. "But that's good you know, right? Balances my profound optimism for all things human."

"So," she leaned back on the chair and stretched her legs propping her bare feet on his desk. "What about you? You were willing to go first, don't think I am gonna leave without hearing yours."

"You shouldn't leave anyway, love. At least not if you keep gulping down my scotch like that." "Deflection, Cal. And-"

Foster intentionally didn't finish the sentence, instead leaned forward and waved her empty glass at him demanding more, glaring at him when Cal hesitated. She was touched he was keeping track, but also beyond annoyed he would imply she couldn't take a little drinking.

"Now." With her glass refilled, she resumed the previous position. "Out with it."

"Your wish is my command." Cal fueled himself with some more liquor as well, then spoke again. "Thanksgiving, last year. Max, Owen…whatever, the lost boy who didn't want to find himself."

"Seriously?"

Oh yes, his face was indeed serious.

"Why would that be so strange? Ok, ok!" He raised his hands in a surrendering gesture. "No deflection, I promise."

"Good." Foster nodded fiercely. "Why then?"

"Because it felt like a family affair."

Holy…he was deadly serious! Gillian held his gaze but it was mostly because he didn't look at her as he spoke, otherwise he would have seen her resolution melt away with surprise. And something else, something she had found herself hiding from him more and more recently. Things like that, things he said or did sometimes that felt like they slipped through a firewall he had placed around himself to prevent compromising stuff from escaping out in the open. She liked when it happened, but also feared the meaning of it.

"Emily was a big part of it. Mind you, the last thing I want is for her to be involved in what we do, not if I can help it, but she has a knack for it. And she cares, the little brat, so much that I have to care too." He sipped the scotch, his eyes wandering around the office. "I liked it because it had a happy ending, of sorts. It started out with the potential of breaking up a family and we ended up creating a bigger one." Only then he looked at her, a funny grin on his face. "I had fun working on it with you. I always do, of course, but you were firing on all cylinders on that one."

"Because I didn't want to go to the police?"

"Because you put Max first, and you always thought about how the whole thing was affecting him above all else. And yes, I did like that you were willing to play a little dirty, if it helped. The way we tag-teamed on that woman, the junkie…not gonna lie, that was fun."

She remembered that, how they had kept firing questions at her, taking a step forward with every question as she kept retreating. She wasn't too proud of that, she had been caught in the moment really..and she was even less proud to admit she had liked that thrill too. Intimidation and insistence were his weapons of choice and it had been exhilarating to wield them alongside him for once.

Lost in her memories and the thoughts they brought along, Gillian didn't realise that he had moved and was now leaning forward, closer to her. When she did notice, she was immediately caught in the inescapable magnetism of his eyes, sharing with her a very serious and open look.

"I like that case because we shared everything about it." She registered the fact that had switched to present tense on the liking part. "I didn't keep anything from you, didn't have to, and it was a refreshing experience. I like it-'' He had done it again, obviously not an accident "-because we truly worked together. I got him angry, you calmed him down. I pushed, you pulled. Can't really think of a better way to sum up our partnership."

"That's funny."

Her words said one thing but everything else, from the tone of her voice to her body language, showed the opposite. It was so clear that it didn't take a deception expert to see it, and Cal was utterly confused. He could be abrasive, he could be uselessy mean and poke at people without even realising, but he couldn't quite see anything that would warrant such a retreat in what he had just said. It was positive, wasn't it? Had he not just said that he respected the strengths that she brought to the team, that he liked how they evened out each other for other people's benefit, and he liked to share good things with her way more than the bad ones? In his mind he had, bloody clearly, but her reaction seemed to indicate that was not the case.

That was one of many issues Emily had not been aware of when she had asked the unfamous question: even when he did do something about it, he didn't seem to accomplish much.

Foster read on his face that something was off, as much as he could see it in hers. Unlike him however, she could do something about it. She smiled fondly at him first, she didn't know what exactly but it was obvious he was suddenly worried about something and Gillian wanted him to know there was no reason for it. Then she took her legs off his desk and scooted the chair closer to him so that she could put her hands on his.

"I just…I actually hate that case."

Cal looked at her carefully and she let him, until he could be sure that really was the only reason for whatever he had seen. But then, of course, he had to move on to the next step.

"Why?" He asked. No time like the present to find out.

"Because I had to lie to Emily."

Cal saw the deep truth of that statement, the light pain behind it. He knew he shouldn't have probed on it, but that happened to be about the two most important people in his life.

"You've done it before," he dared to point out, to which she nodded thoughtfully.

"To protect her, to spare her some grief about whatever you had gotten yourself into so that she wouldn't have to worry." Those were all good reasons, and her voice was loaded with pain as she listed them. "That time I just lied to her to trick her and I never forgot the way she looked at me afterwards."

Cal could easily understand. He may have forced himself to develop a thick skin for those hurt looks his daughter sent his way whenever she'd found out he had been lying to her, but he completely understood where Gillian came from. She had done him a solid back then, deciding on the spot that a white lie to Emily was the best course of action. In one fell swoop she had helped Max and taken the burden away from him, however at a personal cost he did not underestimate the value of.

"Another reason why I like it, love."

Cal knew his words didn't make much sense, he didn't need to see her disappointed reaction to have confirmation of that. But even if he tried not to show it, he had a feeling what was about to come would have fixed that sweet frown of hers.

"Because I did so you wouldn't have to?"

All of a sudden he was close, way too close not to notice how her breathing skipped a bit before moving to a faster gear. If he did however, he didn't let it transpire. And maybe he didn't, too focused on his next move.

Cal opened his mouth slightly as if he wanted to talk but waited, instead he gently took her hands in his and looked straight at her. He held her like that for a while, his finger softly stroking her skin while his eyes never left hers. It was hard for Gillian to think straight with him looking at her like that, but even in the midst of all that she could tell he wasn't trying to read her but just to make sure they were connecting.

Because he really, really needed her to pay attention to him.

"Because we care more when those who lie to us are the people closest to us. Em hates it when I lie to her because I am her dad. And she hates when you do it because she likes you, Gill." It wasn't at all possible but he came even closer, one hand abandoning hers to lay on her cheek while his forehead rested on hers mirroring what she had done before. "Because you're family, love."

The sheer sweetness of his voice cut through her like a sharp knife, the meaning of his words leaving behind an even deeper mark. Gillian wanted to keep her eyes open, to keep losing herself in the intensity of his gaze and the delicacy of his touch but she couldn't resist, the lack of the first multiplying the power of the second. She leaned into his touch, breathing in the bouquet of smells radiating from him, her mind suddenly racing as wildly as her heart wondering if maybe, just maybe, she hadn't really had too much to drink.

Then she felt that odd fear coming up again, the same she had been feeling countless times with him. She remembered the first time she had experienced that, back in that greasy spoon lunch place where he had asked her to get in business with him. Foster had been mesmerised, enthralled by the passion he had put into explaining to her the crazy idea that had become their company. Back then, years before, it had been a new and unexpected feeling, an irrational emotion that she had later marked as neither good nor bad. Inappropriate, that had been the word. Because she was married and he was married, and that indisputable double fact had put a stop to whatever that inappropriate feeling might have led to.

That had certainly been the truth back then, but seven years and two divorces later…what was there that still made it inappropriate? Wasn't there a new truth to follow?

"I want to change my answer."

Gillian opened her eyes after she spoke, amazed to see he had his closed. She was well aware that her voice sounded a little shaky and was glad that he was not panicking about that as he normally would. Maybe he didn't want to investigate the unstable nature of her statement or didn't care, maybe he couldn't hear it because he had only just managed to keep his own voice steady as he spoke earlier.

Maybe, just maybe…

She took advantage of his closed eyes and leaned in, knowing he could feel her moving even without looking at her and not just because of the hand he still had on her cheek. Her lips rested on his forehead for a moment then moved down to his face, leaving a gentle kiss on the corner of his mouth. It was nothing more, just her closed lips on his skin, but she lingered there for what felt like eternity. Foster felt his reaction under her touch, the way his body first tensed but then immediately relaxed into it and she did not fail to catch the feeble moan escaping his mouth when she even so slowly pulled back. Not entirely, just slowly backing up a few inches so that she could manoeuvre again and bring her mouth to his ear to whisper.

"My favourite case is the one we haven't solved yet."

Then she motioned to pull back again and this time Cal did move, so quickly and resolutely to a point he surprised even himself. The hand on her cheek surfed smoothly to the back of her neck, gently but firmly keeping her there as he let go a breath so long and powerful it made Gillian wonder if he had been holding it in his lungs all along. He was still going blind but she saw the relief in his face, then she saw his lips coming closer and couldn't help but smile when he did exactly what she had just done, putting them on the corner of her mouth. Part of her was disappointed that it wasn't more, part was giddy at the fact he couldn't come up with something better than her very move, part understood more would have come eventually, but none of that really mattered when he moved forward to whisper in her ear.

"I don't mind getting started on that right now, darling."

The end

PS: see you in the next one