Chapter Six: An Unexpected Ally

"We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit."

-e.e. cummings

After class is over and everyone begins to leave, I notice a few girls whispering to each other as they look back at us. I want to ask what they find so amusing, but instead I look over at Peeta with a slight frown.

He's putting his binder into his backpack, completely unfazed. His silence bothers me. I feel annoyed that he's brought this unwanted attention - I mean, what's the point? He never said much of anything to me in all the years we've been in school together, or even really acknowledged me at all before, so what's so different now? I think he just feels sorry for me, and I don't like it. Not one bit.

In fact, it needs to end now.

"What game are you trying to play?"

He looks over at me as if my question has taken him by surprise. "Huh? You mean like tryouts or-?"

"Don't play dumb," I snap. My hands are shaking and my heart feels as if it might explode from beating so fast. I don't like confrontation, but I won't be weak and believe that he actually wants to be my friend. "Why are you pretending to be nice to me? You can drop the act."

"But I'm not pretending." He sounds so genuine and looks so taken aback when he says it that I almost feel guilty for accusing him otherwise. "You know, not everyone is out to hurt you. Do I have to have a reason to be nice to you and try to be your friend?"

I sigh and roll my eyes. Yes, I want to say, you do have to have a reason. Otherwise, why risk your reputation?

"Yeah right. Look, I might be poor, but I'm not stupid."

"I know you're not stupid," Peeta answers calmly. He stands up and places his backpack on his shoulder. I look up at him and bite my lip, not really knowing what to say. He smiles at me, but I don't smile back. "Katniss, have I ever done anything to wrong you? In all these years?"

I let out a long breath and tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear. "Well, no," I mumble, "not yet anyway."

"And I never will," he replies softly. Before I can reply, he begins to walk towards the door.

"But… you've never had a chance to be mean to me. You never really talked to or even noticed me before," I blurt. I know I should just shut my mouth and attempt to accept his kindness. But I can't help myself. I feel so confused; I want some sort of answer, some sort of excuse for his behavior. I need for this to make sense somehow. "So what gives now? What's your reason for all of this? Is it just because of the job? If so, there's no need for it."

Peeta turns back to me and sighs heavily. His eyes gaze around the room, but he doesn't look at me. He seems uncomfortable all of a sudden and it makes me feel a little ashamed at how I'm talking to him. His dad gave me the job that's going to feed me and Prim. I should be groveling at his feet, not questioning his motives. I should be happy that he's trying to be civil at all to me. He has every reason not to be.

"Having no reason is as good of a reason as any, isn't it?" he asks. I shake my head. I have no idea what he means at all.

"I don't follow."

"Katniss…" He hesitates and I notice that his face is reddening just slightly. "It's not about the job at all, okay? And I've noticed you before… more than you think. I just never knew what to say. But I'm saying something now… and it's better late than never, right?"

He noticed me before… more than I think? What does he mean by that? He wanted to talk to me before… but about what? And what does he have to say now? I don't know.

Peeta looks at me as if he expects me to say something in return. Finally, I just tell him, "I don't understand you at all. Not one bit."

"There's really not much to understand," he replies with a small half-smile. He looks over his shoulder at the door and begins walking backwards toward it. "Um, we're going to be late for second hour. We'll talk about all of this later?"

I shrug. "We will?"

"Yes." He nods and raises his eyebrows. "I hope?" I just shrug again. Really, what am I supposed to say?

As he leaves the classroom, he turns back and gives a small wave, a brilliant smile on his face. I raise my hand in return, unblinking and unmoving, as he disappears from view.

The rest of the day goes by in a blur.

I don't see Peeta before or during lunch, but this is mostly due to me purposely avoiding him. I never eat at school. I can't afford it, and in order to get free lunches, you have to be signed up for food assistance from the state - something Snow obviously hasn't done.

I go to the library and find a nice, quiet place in the back to read by myself. I've always done this; it's nice to get away from people for at least a little while during the day. It feels wonderful to escape into a world inside a book, where I can be anything and I can feel something different. With a novel, at least, I can always have a happy ending. Real life is the exact opposite, however. I will never delude myself into believing otherwise.

As I walk into the next class after lunch, I see Peeta again. He's already sitting down at a desk. We make eye contact and he smiles at me. I bite my lip and look away quickly, pretending as if my eyes just happened to land on him. I don't want to have a conversation with him like this morning, not in front of everyone else.

I don't have to either, because luckily we have assigned seats. I'm thankful for this, but also a tad disappointed. I don't really know why, really. Maybe I find it a little intriguing how he wants to get to know me and talk to me. No one ever has, at least not for a very long time, and as much as it confuses me, it's… different.

He's sitting in front of me, slightly off to the side. I find my eyes drifting over to him throughout class. My stomach ties itself in knots when I see him talking animatedly to Delly Cartwright, who's sitting next to him. She's blond and a little on the chubby side, but not bad looking in the least. She's always been sweet to me, even if she's never really said much. I bet Peeta likes her. He seems to really enjoy talking to her, anyway.

He looks back at me suddenly and I immediately look down at the desk, my face burning at being caught staring.

In any case, it shouldn't matter to me that he's talking to another girl. Peeta has always been nice, and I'm silly to think that his friendliness is reserved only for me. I'm the one who has trouble talking to people and trusting them, not him. He obviously has no problem with it, and why should he? He probably talks sweetly to all of the girls that sit by him. Only I had to go and make a fool of myself and make it into a big deal, when it more than likely wasn't out of the ordinary at all to him. I feel like a huge idiot, and he probably thinks I am, too.

Towards the end of class, I glance up again, finding my eyes magnetized to their direction. I quickly avert my eyes, however, when I see both of them looking back at me. I just want to crawl into a hole somewhere and disappear completely. Their eyes were definitely on me, quite obviously they're talking about me. About what, I don't know. I'm not sure I even want to.

I stare down at the desk for the remainder of class, and I don't look up again until I know they've left.

I don't see Peeta again until the last class of the day. I arrive a little late, as I'd gotten lost trying to locate the classroom. I find an open seat at the very back, and I'm thankful that it's nowhere near him. I avoid looking in his direction; I still feel embarrassed about earlier. And now I'm even more nervous about having to work with him this evening.

We don't talk again until class is over.

I walk quickly towards the door, but stop when I hear him call out my name. I turn around, feeling irritable, especially since there are still people in the room.

"What?" I snap.

"I'm still giving you a ride, right?" He smiles, but he seems a bit nervous. Or maybe I'm reading him all wrong and he's simply just embarrassed to talk to me. That would make more sense.

Just as I shrug, some tall, blond guy from the back of the classroom quips with a laugh, "You gonna ride him, Never-clean?"

"Her name is Katniss Everdeen," Peeta corrects, emphasizing my last name. "We're not in middle school anymore, Cato. You and I both know I could put you in the dirt any day of the week, and this year I'm giving no mercy to bullies. Talk trash again, see if it's worth it."

Peeta stood up for me.

I can tell he meant it too, by the way

To say I'm stunned speechless would be an understatement.

It was definitely not the first time I've been called that dumb nickname, and I'm sure it won't be the last. This was only one little remark, and I am sure there'll be a ton more of them. The last thing I need is Peeta getting in trouble over me. He used to be on the wrestling team, and I've no doubt he can do exactly as he threatened. Cato must know it too because his only response before walking towards the door is a cocky 'Pfft'. Peeta keeps his eyes on him as he goes, as if challenging him.

I clear my throat and he turns to me in an instant, just as Cato calls back, "Try not to catch a disease, bro!" before immediately disappearing into the hallway like the coward he is.

Peeta acts like he didn't hear him, though I see his jaw muscle tense.

"You okay?" he asks with concern.

I shrug before nodding my head, still unable to find words. I honestly don't know how I feel at the moment. It's like I've entered a parallel universe and nothing makes sense anymore.

"Good," he tells me. "You don't deserve to be talked to like that. No one does."

I accept his ride to pick up Prim and head to the bakery.

I don't say anything the whole ride to the elementary school. Peeta tries to make small talk, but I just nod, shake my head, or shrug in return. I'm sure it's coming off as rude, but I don't know what else to do or say.

I find Prim in the crowd, and we make our way back to Peeta's car. Her eyes widen with excitement - not just because she realizes we have a ride to the bakery, but also because she sees Peeta for the first time. She yanks my hand and stops suddenly as we approach. I look at her in confusion, and she gestures for me to lean down so she can whisper in my ear.

"He's the one who gave us the bread?" she asks. I look at her and nod slowly. She places her hand to my ear again. "But he's so handsome, Katniss. You never told me that!"

Surprised, I lean my head back and smile at her in amusement. Her eyes are still wide and her cheeks are red. She won't look in the direction of the car. I think my little sister might just have a tiny crush on Peeta. I guess I can see why she would.

"He's perfectly nice, Prim. Don't worry."

"But… we have to ride with him?" she asks timidly.

I give a small laugh at how she's acting. I've never seen her like this over a boy, and it's funny to me that it's over Peeta, of all people.

"Yes, we do. You'll be okay, I promise." She bites her lip nervously and squeezes my hand as we finally reach the car.

"Want to sit in the front or the back?" I ask.

She averts her eyes and mumbles, "The back…."

I grin widely and shake my head as I shut the door behind her. I then open the front door and sit down, my mind still on Prim and how adorable it is that she's so flustered over Peeta. I just can't get my smile to go away; even biting my lip won't work. It's just nice and refreshing to see Prim doing something so... normal.

Peeta looks over at me with an arched eyebrow, "What's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing," I reply, shrugging my shoulders. I know I'm being a tad mischievous, but I can't help but throw in a meaningful, "Right, Prim?"

"Shut up, Katniss!" she snaps quickly, folding her arms in a huff.

"Hello, Prim. Nice to meet you?" Peeta greets, looking amused and slightly confused at our exchange.

I still can't stop smiling, so I place my hand over my mouth and turn my face towards the window.