As his alarm clock started blaring, Lincoln got up groggily, Bun-Bun in one hand as he rubbed his eyes with the other. "Ugh, it's seven in the morning on a Saturday. Why did I even set that?" The realization hit him as he suddenly felt more awake. "Oh right, Part 2 of JoJo! This is going to be great!" He hopped out of bed and made a beeline for the bathroom. He managed to get in first as Lisa and Lynn started forming a line.

"Lincoln, first to the bathroom on a Saturday morning? Peculiar, this is highly irregular behavior," said Lisa. "I was not informed of today being particularly special for my only brother."

"My guess is that he wants to start watching JoJo's Bizarre Adventure as soon as possible!" said Lynn, swinging an imaginary bat as she practiced her technique. "I'm in the same boat! Got a game today, so I wanna get as much in as I can!"

"Fascinating," said Lisa.

"Hey, wanna join us?" asked Lynn.

"While the offer is appreciated, I must decline. I will be spending the majority of the day at Flip's Food & Fuel to continue my Flippy experiment, as any scientist worth their sodium chloride must be able to provide reproducible data."

"Flippy experiment?"

The genius kindergartener adjusted her glasses. "Put simply, I'm gathering data on every Flippy flavor in order to determine the ideal Flippy for each individual customer," explained Lisa as Lynn started tuning her out. "There are several factors to go over. Sweetness, viscosity, melting time at room temperature…."

"Bathroom's free!" said Lincoln as he ran out to get dressed. Lisa went to go inside, but Lynn barreled past her, spinning the four-year-old like a top.

"You snooze, you lose, Lise!" shouted Lynn behind the door as Lisa attempted to regain her balance.

"Dang it."

~LBR~

"You girls ready for Battle Tendency?" asked Lincoln as he poured himself a bowl of Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs. Luna and Lana were having their own breakfasts at the table, Leni and Lola there too.

"Definitely! This is gonna be so cool!" said Lana.

"For sure! I wonder what kinda music references we'll see this time!" said Luna between bites of toast. "If I'm lucky, we can finally get a Mick Swagger reference!"

"Sounds like you've got some great plans!" said Leni. "I'll be busy all day too. First I've got to take Lola to get her picture taken for the Space kids' clothing sale ad, then I've got to get back home, change into my mall outfit, then meet up with Jackie and Mandee at half past noon!"

"Sounds like you're gonna be busy," said Lincoln. "And I was hoping you'd be watching with us."

"Maybe tomorrow!" said Leni.

"That sounds cool," said Luna as she put her plate on the counter, a fully dressed Lynn racing down the stairs.

"I'm ready to go!" she said. "Let's get started! Come on, come on, come on!"

"Alright, let's do this!" said Lincoln as he rinsed out his empty bowl and ran up to the couch. But as he hopped onto the center cushion…

*PBTHTHTHTH*

Lincoln blushed as the obnoxious sound rang from the cushion. His sisters soon crowded the living room, giving him looks of disgust (Leni, Luna, and Lola) and pride (Lynn and Lana). "Really, Lincoln?!" said Lola as she wrinkled her nose.

"That's totes nasty!" said Leni.

"Wha— it wasn't me!" shouted a flustered Lincoln. Lifting his posterior, he pulled out the true culprit: a deflated whoopie cushion. He groaned in annoyance as he threw the rubber gag toy across the room. "LUAN!"

"Now that's what I call a COUCH CUSHION!" laughed Luan. "Hahahahahaha! Get it?"

"Ugh, it's too early in the morning for this," complained Lola as she rubbed her eyes. "I'm gonna go tinkle and brush my teeth. I have to look my best for the camera." Lola went up the stairs as Leni went to start the van, leaving the JoJo regulars and the resident jokester.

"Really, Luan? A whoopie cushion?" asked Lincoln.

"Yeah, that's the oldest trick in the book!" said Luna.

"Hey, you can't go wrong with the classics!" defended Luan. "Besides, it's the perfect way to start my announcement!"

"Announcement?" wondered Lana.

"I'm joining you guys!" said Luan with jazz hands. "I hope you don't mind if I'm the GASSED of honor! Hahaha!"

The others groaned as Luan picked up her whoopie cushion. "Well, it'll be fun to have five of us," said Lynn.

"Glad to have you on board, Luan!" said Lincoln cheerfully.

"Great!" said Luan. "Just give me some time to get ready and I'll be there!" said Luan as she ran up the stairs, the others getting ready to start. Just a few more minutes, and they could get this party started!

~LBR~

Lynn groaned as she leaned against the couch. The seating positions were their usual spots, save Lynn and Lincoln having switched places. It was almost 9, with Luan taking much longer than expected. The TV and game console were both on, and the show was paused at the tail end of the ending for episode nine. "Can't we just start it without her? I've got somewhere to be in a couple hours!"

"Aw man, I really want to get started!" said Lana.

"Here she comes!" said Luna as Luan scampered down the stairs, sitting between Luna and Lincoln.

"Sorry I was held up! Lori was taking forever in the bathroom!"

"It's okay," said Lincoln. "Need any explanations?"

"I'm sure I can figure it out as I go."

"Then if everybody's ready, let's get started! Three, two, one, start!"

~BT~

The episode opened on the unmoving propeller of an airplane. Mysterious music played as somebody stepped forward, putting a cane on the ground with a loud crack. The credits started to play as the camera panned up, revealing the figure on the runway. They wore a fancy black suit and dress shoes. They also wore a purple cravat. "This senior gentleman seems familiar," said the narrator as the camera reached their face, the scene transitioning to get a closer look. The figure was a man wearing a black hat, graying blonde hair and wrinkles showing their age. But the most recognizable feature was a familiar scar that ran across their face. "We definitely know that upright bearing and that scar."

Another figure approached, this one wearing a red cloak with green decorations on the collar and having gray hair tied back in a ponytail. "It's good to see you again, Speedwagon," said the new figure as they were shown to have company. Behind them was somebody who looked very similar, the differences being that they had brown hair and wore a purple cloak.

~LBR~

"Wait just a minute. His name is SPEEDWAGON?!" asked Luan.

"Yep! Robert E.O. Speedwagon, to be precise!" said Luna. "This show is chock-full of music references!"

"Seems like this is gonna be fun!" said Luan.

"Trust us," said Lana, "you haven't seen anything yet!"

~BT~

The cloaked figures bowed. "I understand you're an American oil tycoon now," said the figure in red as Speedwagon took off his hat and bowed.

"That's a bit exaggerated," said Speedwagon humbly as the angle changed. The man in red had not one, but two others behind him. He had a somewhat wrinkled face, though he seemed more middle-aged. His hands were folded, and he was shown to have yellow sleeves with green bands around the wrists "You look as young as ever, Straizo. Hard to believe we're the same age!" Speedwagon closed his eyes and smiled. "Hamon energy is life energy, right? I envy you."

~LBR~

"Hamon?" asked Luan.

"It's the power that the good guys use in this," said Lincoln. "It's kinda like this ripple life energy stuff. It can do all kinds of cool stuff!"

~BT~

Speedwagon gestured to the blue plane behind him as the scene cut back to the propeller. "It has been half a century since Jonathan Joestar made his sacrifice," said the narrator as the plane engine started up, the propeller spinning and gaining speed. "Straizo has succeeded Master Tonpetty, while Speedwagon has had success building a fortune."

~LBR~

"It's really cool that Speedwagon was able to get rich after all that time he spent in the boonies," said Lana. "Wonder what happened to make Tonpetty step down since then?"

"It's been fifty years and he was already pretty old," said Lynn. "He probably kicked the bucket."

~BT~

A cut showed the plane soaring through the light blue sky, streaks of sunlight shining down. "Together, they're headed to Mexico to see something!" The camera looked through the clouds over a mountain range. Beyond that range was a steep canyon, and going from the cliff's edge was a forest containing an ancient city. Past the ruins was a large pyramidal temple. "This 'something' was discovered by a Speedwagon-funded exploration team," continued the narrator as the plane descended towards the temple.

The scene transitioned to the outside of the temple. Moss and ivy covered the stone building. A few of the strange statues and pillars had fallen over the centuries, but the temple remained standing. "What's more is that it's a secret, known only to these select few!" said the narrator.

"I tell you, Straizo," echoed Speedwagon's voice, the stone chamber with a pattern resembling a spine and rib cage only barely visible, "once you lay eyes on this, I believe, no, I am certain you'll feel a chill." Lights from a flashlight illuminated parts of the chamber, including a stone carving of a man whose head was removed by the sun's rays. "It's frightful enough to make even your disciplined hair stand on end."

~LBR~

"Watch, they'll reach the end of the tunnel and find a dead end, a paper with 'BOO' written on it as Speedwagon laughs," said Luan.

"That's definitely one way to greet somebody after fifty years," said Luna.

~BT~

"I find it even worse than the terror we faced fifty years ago when we all battled with Dio," said Speedwagon, now wearing a green explorer's suit and pith helmet with a purple band and carrying the flashlight. Straizo gasped as he heard the description, looking at the carvings on the walls. The Hamon master's hair was now purple due to the lighting of the ruins.

They finally came to a stop in a very strange room. There was a large pillar that seemed to be like a tree, with roots and an expanding shape as it grew taller, but it was made of stone. Several other of the odd stone pillars, thinner than the center one, surrounded it and seemed to be attached to the center pillar along the ceiling. The camera panned away to show that Speedwagon, Straizo, Speedwagon's workers and Straizo's students all carried flashlights. They were dwarfed by the pillars, with even the thinnest being as wide as them.

"I can't believe how large this space is!" said Straizo.

"And this is the reason we came here," said Speedwagon, shining a light on the center pillar. Straizo gasped as he saw it. There, attached to the pillar, was a stone mask identical to the one that caused so much trouble all those years ago.

~LBR~

"No way!" shouted Lynn. "Another one of those things?! After all the trouble it took to smash the last one?!"

~BT~

"A stone mask!" gasped Straizo as he looked along the sides of the pillar. There were dozens of other masks, maybe even a hundred. "And there are so many of them!"

~LBR~

"This can't be real…" gasped Lincoln.

"Well, time to line the walls with dynamite and blow the whole thing to smithereens," said Lana. "Then blow up the rubble just to be sure."

"Are those masks that out of fashion?" joked Luan.

"I'll break it down like this," said Luna. "The last time somebody put on one of those masks, really bad things happened and a whole bunch of people died."

"Oh," said Luan quietly.

~BT~

Finally, the flashlights focused on a single point. Straizo couldn't believe his eyes. Attached to the pillar was a man made out of stone. Only it didn't seem like a statue, but rather something that was petrified, forcefully transformed into the same stone that made up that pillar. The scene faded to black with a shot of the man in the pillar.

~LBR~

"That's the same statue from the end of the last episode," said Lana. "Wonder what it means?"

"It means danger, for one," said Lynn.

"I don't think that's a statue," said Lincoln. "Or at least, it wasn't."

"You think it was a person, bro?" asked Luna.

"Maybe. But whatever it is, I've got a bad feeling about it."

~BT~

The screen faded to black, only to cut to a shot of the Statue of Liberty. Text on the bottom was translated as "New York, 1938." A much more casual song started playing.

~LBR~

"Cool, we're going to New York City!" said Luan.

"Definitely a far cry from England, where the first part took place," said Luna.

~BT~

"It was in the fall of 1938," narrated a new voice. The scene cut to one of the sidewalks. People were walking about, relaxing on the bench, reading the paper, just going about their business. "I was doing my job, just like I always did," said the voice as a few cars drove down the street. As they passed, the scene cut to a closer look at the speaker. It was a young man, a teenager at the oldest. His skin was dark brown, as were his eyes. He had messy black hair tucked under a mint green newsboy cap. He also wore a white shirt with a red bow tie, a yellow jacket with burgundy trim and blue jeans. His gray sneakers made no sound on the pavement as he walked along with his hands in his pockets, seemingly trying to blend in with the crowd as he looked over the pedestrians. "Eyes peeled for a mark."

"You gotta be kiddin' me!" shouted somebody from the distance, causing the boy to stop and turn towards the commotion with a confused "Huh?" It seemed to be coming from a red drink cart with a red and yellow parasol, the salesman speaking to a potential customer.

"You've really never heard of this fine beverage?" asked the salesman, a bearded man wearing an odd red hat and a yellow vest over a green shirt. He pointed at the man in front of him, a man who towered over him. In his other hand was a glass bottle of soda, a red label reading "Coco Cola" on it. "Alright! By your accent, I'd say you're in from England! Tourist, eh?" The young man smiled as he started to approach them. Somebody who was new to the city; he made the perfect target.

~LBR~

"So is this the main character? This random pickpocket?" asked Luan.

"Nah, he's probably a supporting character like Speedwagon," said Lana. "Feels a lot like Speedwagon too."

"Yeah, and I'll bet that the tall guy from England is our protagonist!" said Luna. "He must be JoJo's son!"

"Looks kinda young for that, though," said Lincoln. "Maybe his grandson?"

~BT~

"No kiddin'!" said the vendor. The customer's head from the eyes up was concealed, but the rest of him was shown in better detail. He was quite muscular, as shown from his bare forearms. He wore a dark red coat with checkered padding on the shoulders and light brown slacks. He also had a yellow shirt and sky blue tie that were a bit hard to see from the current angle. "You're gonna make the big city your home? Well, if you want a drink, you're gonna have to lay down some shekels! Cash is the king around here!"

~LBR~

"Pretty sure it's king in most places, unless you live out in the woods or something," said Lynn.

~BT~

The man pulled out his wallet, unaware of the young man approaching. As soon as he pulled a five-dollar bill out to pay for the soda, the pickpocket slipped his hand around and snatched the wallet out of its owner's hand. Before anybody could react, he was already running off with his prize.

The man, wearing a blue newsboy cap with a red brim and now holding his drink, and the vendor watched as he ran off. "The nerve of him!" yelled the salesman as he pointed to the fleeing thief. "You're not gonna let that mook steal your wallet? Get after him!"

~LBR~

"'Joke's on you, this is all the money I have. All he took were a couple receipts and a business card,'" joked Lincoln.

~BT~

The pickpocket ducked into an alley, smirking as he looked behind him. When he was sure he had lost the man, he stopped to check out his latest grab. "Ha! What a patsy! That was easy as pie!"

But his good luck didn't last long as a giant hand grabbed the back of his head, knocking off his cap. The hand belonged to an overweight cop who was snickering to himself, a cop with a mustache beside him. The thief tried to escape as the officer grabbed his collar with his other hand. "Heya, Smokey!" said the officer who was holding onto him. "Looks like I finally caught ya! Red-handed, you punk!"

The thief, Smokey, let out a cry for help before he was silenced by the fat cop smashing his nightstick onto the back of his head, a sound effect appearing beside it. "What're you doing on my beat, ya trash?!" Smokey fell onto the ground and lightly coughed, the back of his head bleeding from the hit. The cop grabbed him by the back of his collar and threw him against the wall, pinning him to it by his neck. "I'm gonna make sure they lock you up for twenty years!"

~LBR~

"Yeesh, it's creeps like these guys that give cops a bad name," said Lana.

~BT~

"Take it easy," pleaded Smokey as he was being choked. "Please, sir! I only pinched a wallet!"

"I hate bottom-feeders like you preying on the public!" shouted the cop as he tightened his grip. He grabbed Smokey's head as the poor pickpocket looked at him in fear. "But see, I'm nice. I'll do ya a solid. I'm gonna let you bring me twenty dollars every week. Also, half of everything you glom!"

~LBR~

"You could probably make a bingo card out of these guys!" said Luan.

~BT~

"Hello!" rang out a voice as the cops and Smokey looked to see who it was. It was the same man that Smokey had just robbed.

"Hey, it's the pigeon what got his wallet lifted!" said the cop holding Smokey as he pulled the wallet in question out of his pocket. "This is evidence, so I'm gonna be keeping it."

"Well, now, how shall I put this?" said the man as he took off his cap. His hair was brown and messy, several spikes sticking out from his bangs. "Here is what happened." He ran his fingers through his hair as the camera cut to a closer shot, revealing his blue eyes as he smirked at the cops. "There actually is no crime, since that wallet was a gift, constable."

~LBR~

"He's covering for the dude that robbed him? He's gotta be a Joestar!" said Luna.

~BT~

A split screen had the two police officers and Smokey staring at the new arrival in disbelief. "For some reason," narrated Smokey as the camera panned up the man, one hand on his hip and the other putting his cap on, "this six-and-a-half-foot giant of an Englishman was covering for me."

"So then," said the man as he adjusted his hat, "sir, would you please return both wallet and boy?"

"What'd you just say?" snapped the cop that was throttling Smokey.

~LBR~

"'That you only meant well? Well, of course you did,'" said Luna.

"And here I was thinking that meme was dead," said Lynn.

~BT~

"As I said, it was a gift," said the Englishman. "He and I are good friends. Let him go, please."

The officer obliged, throwing Smokey to the ground as he and his companion started approaching the interloper. "Uh-huh. A good friend, eh?" said the skeptical cop as he started picking his nose. He put his other hand on the Englishman's shoulder as he pulled out his finger. "Why don't you tell me what your good friend's name is?"

"Hmm…" said the man as he tried to think of an answer.

"What's the matter, limey?" asked the cop. "You wanna see what a New York pokey is like? Huh? Here's a present for ya!" And with that, he stuck the booger on his finger right under the man's right eye. He and his fellow officer laughed as he wiped his finger on the man's jacket, Smokey watching in shock as they harassed him.

~LBR~

"These idiots have no clue who they're messing with," said Lincoln.

~BT~

After wiping off the cop's "present," the man raised an inquisitive finger. "That's curious. Help me understand, why would you do something like that? It's just such an unsavory thing to do."

"There ain't no reason!" shouted the officer as he put his finger in his nose. "I do what I like whenever I feel like it, you fool! But if someone wipes a booger on your face, it probably means that-"

It was then that the man's fist slammed into the cop's face, shutting him up as blood splattered. The scene cut to the man, looking furious as he raised his fist. "You made the wrong move, you stupid pig!" A cut back to the cop showed that the punch had knocked a couple teeth out, and the finger in his nostril had torn through it, leaving a gaping hole in the side of his nose.

~LBR~

"Ooh, that's gotta really hurt," said Luan as she put a hand over her nose and mouth. "And if that's not a message to not pick your nose, I don't NOSE what is. Hehehehe… ow…."

"Meh, I'm still gonna do it," said Lana.

~BT~

Smokey stared in shock as the overweight officer fell onto his back, rocking back and forth and cradling his damaged nose. The other cop looked at his companion in shock before drawing his gun and pointing it at the Englishman. "You were shot resisting arrest!"

The man just spat on the ground as he pulled out his soda bottle, arms to the side as he welcomed the man to try it. "Please, try to shoot me," he challenged. "But I'm warning you right now, before you can pull the trigger, I will have broken your finger like a rotten matchstick!"

"Not from over there! I'll blow your damn brains out!" shouted the cop as he started to pull the trigger, the hammer moving back. Smokey gasped, but the man just stared down his adversary as golden energy crackled across his bottle of cola.

~LBR~

"That's Hamon!" yelled Luna. "If there was any doubt, it's gone now!"

~BT~

The man was briefly covered in a filter that made his outfit green, a kaleidoscope of colors in rays covering the background. The man's entire body glowed as Hamon coursed through it. "Suddenly, his body started to give off some sort of glow," narrated Smokey. The cola started to fizz intensely as it pushed against the cap, the pressure releasing it and firing it forwards.

"It was just incredible!" narrated Smokey as the bottle cap hurdled towards the officer's trigger finger. "The soda cap flew off, and flew as fast as a bullet, straight over to snap the cop's finger!" And just as he said, the bottle cap hit the officer's finger and twisted it away from the trigger, bending it in a way it shouldn't before the bone snapped. The officer let out a scream of pain as the Englishman tilted back his head and poured the ice-cold cola into his mouth, victory making the sugary beverage all the sweeter.

~LBR~

Luan held out a hand like she was holding something. "This brutal beatdown of two corrupt cops was brought to you by the refreshing taste of Coca-Cola!" she joked, the others laughing.

"That's 'Coco Cola,'" said Lynn.

"Whatever!"

~BT~

As the cop knelt by his partner and held his broken finger, the man held his head in his hands as he started panicking. "Ah, I gave into my temper again! Crap, I'm in for it! Oh, Granny Erina's going to be furious!"

~LBR~

"I was right! He is Jonathan's grandson!" said Lincoln.

"Makes sense," said Lana. "He looks way too young to be fifty! That's like, ancient!"

"Also, grandparents don't get mad, they get disappointed," said Luna. "Which is way worse."

~BT~

'He beat down two cops, but is scared of his grandma?!' thought Smokey incredulously.

"I'll just explain!" muttered the man. "Granny Erina will understand if I explain, won't she?!" He then turned to Smokey. "Alright, Mister Pickpocket! What say we hightail it on out of here?"

The scene cut to a few shots of the city. "He didn't know exactly how he had launched the bottle cap with such force," narrated Smokey. "He said he could always do things like that. Apparently, his grandpa could do the same kind of things, but he died at a young age." The slideshow of city sights ended with the man and Smokey under a bridge, the latter catching his breath. "His dad, who died in the war, didn't have any talents like that." The scene cut to the Englishman, having ditched his cap. He was shown from behind as a blue and purple filter covered him. "His mom was gone too."

~LBR~

"He lost both his parents? That really stinks," said Luan.

"At least he still has his grandma," said Lincoln. "I'm just glad that Erina is still around."

~BT~

"I really owe you big time!" said Smokey gratefully. He looked up at his new friend. "Everyone calls me Smokey, and I'd sure like it if you'd tell me your name."

~LBR~

"You know, I think Smokey might be our first new reference for this part," said Luna.

"Really? Who's he a reference to?" asked Lincoln.

"Smokey Robinson, a singer and frontman of The Miracles. Blues singer, pretty influential."

"Neat," said Lynn.

~BT~

The man moved his foot as he turned to face Smokey. "It's Joestar," he said as the camera panned up his body. "Joseph Joestar."

~LBR~

"'I like my cola shaken, not stirred,'" said Luna in her faux British accent.

~BT~

The screen turned black as text reading "Part 2" appeared on the screen, transitioning to kanji that was translated as "Battle Tendency." After that was the logo for JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. Finally, there was a cut to Joseph, hand on his forehead. Beneath him was a line of text that was translated as, "Episode 10: New York's JoJo."

"My friends call me JoJo," said Joseph just as the screen faded to black once more.

~LBR~

"Now that's how you introduce your lead!" cheered Lynn. "Joseph is definitely worthy of the JoJo name! Did you see that punch?"

"I felt that punch," said Lana as she rubbed her jaw.

~BT~

Slowly, one of the stone masks in the pillar came into view. "What is this?" asked Straizo, the lights still focused on the statue. "Who's that a carving of on that pillar?"

"That's not a carving," said Speedwagon as the camera panned up the "statue's" body. "He has amino acids, proteins, and cells! And though it's faint, he has body heat and a pulse!" Speedwagon partially covered his face with his hand as he broke into a cold sweat. "We are looking at a living man!" Straizo grunted in surprise at the news.

~LBR~

"He really is alive," said Luan in shock. "But how the heck did he get like that? Was this some sort of time capsule thing, like those crazy people in science fiction who freeze themselves to go to the future?"

"Maybe it's got something to do with the stone mask," said Luna, being intentionally vague. She grinned inwardly at Luan's reaction to vampires in this story.

"But if so, shouldn't he be wearing one?" wondered Luan. Luna gave a discrete look to her other siblings to not tell her what it could really do.

"Uh, you only have to wear it once to gain its… abilities," said Lincoln.

"Hmm…." Luan rubbed her chin as she stared at the screen with an exaggerated "thinking" expression. Lincoln took the time to unpause the show.

~BT~

The camera cut to the stone man's face, his eyes closed as if he was only sleeping in his petrified prison. "Straizo, understand," said Speedwagon. "Who he is, how long he's been there, how he got there in the first place, what the masks are for! None of that matters! We are here for one purpose only! I brought you because of your Hamon ability!" The camera cut back to Speedwagon, a filter covering him and making his eyes yellow. "So you can use it to utterly destroy him while he slumbers in this stone!"

Straizo walked up to the stone man, utterly dwarfed by him. "And Joseph Joestar?"

"What?" asked Speedwagon in confusion.

Straizo turned around, face cloaked in shadow. "Joseph Joestar, how is he doing?"

~LBR~

"'He's doing fine! But I'm sure he'd be much better if you DESTROYED THE STUPID THING!'" joked Lana.

~BT~

The scene cut back to Speedwagon and his workers. "I hear he has Hamon ability, and saved your life once."

"Wha… why bring up JoJo now?" asked Speedwagon.

~LBR~

"This is starting to get suspicious," said Lincoln. "This is hardly the time and place for small talk."

"Maybe Straizo just wants to catch up after fifty years," said Lynn with a shrug.

~BT~

"As I recall, he was but thirteen years of age at the time. Yes, quite young. Your plane was hijacked by criminals who wanted to hold you for ransom."

A flashback started at that moment, the befuddled face of Speedwagon dissolving into an image of him several years before. He was wearing a suit, holding his chin as blood trailed from the corner of his mouth. A quiet techno piece started to play as the angle changed, showing that Speedwagon was sitting on the plane's floor. Kneeling in front of him was a man wearing a black mask and a black outfit. A man with the same mask and outfit was holding a machine gun by the pilot's seat. A quick shot of the outside of the plane revealed it to be the same one Speedwagon used to take Straizo to Mexico.

~LBR~

"Things are getting really interesting now," said Lynn. "We're jumping right back into the action!"

~BT~

In the back of the plane, a younger Joseph Joestar wearing a brown and white suit with a high collar and a red bow tie was reading a comic book with "BAOH!" on the cover. He soon found the barrel of a machine gun pointed at his head, courtesy of a hijacker in a black cap. "Hey kid! You can't stay back here, you know? Get up front!" ordered the man.

Joseph just looked up calmly, seeing Speedwagon and the other two hijackers looking at him. He looked away and sighed in annoyance. "You're hijacking the plane and kidnapping Speedwagon, correct?" He looked at the man who had him at gunpoint. "I am only a bystander. This is his problem." He rustled the pages of his comic book. "I'm just going to read my story," he said as he made a gesture for the man to leave him be. "Do your business and just leave me out of it!"

~LBR~

"Well, he's a little punk, isn't he?" said Luan.

"Joestar he may be, but this guy's no gentleman," said Lincoln.

~BT~

A red filter covered the stoic criminals and a green one covered a distraught Speedwagon. The gunman didn't take it well as he struck Joseph in the face with the butt of his gun. "Wrong answer, punk!" he screamed. The impact sent Joseph flying out of his seat and into Speedwagon. "Now move!"

"JoJo!" said Speedwagon as Joseph held his injured mouth. Blood dropped from the wound onto his suit, staining it instantly. Joseph moved his hands away from his face and gasped as he saw blood trickling onto his outfit, face contorting with rage.

~LBR~

"Bad move on their part, that suit was dry clean only," joked Luna. "They're gonna get it now."

~BT~

A red filter covered Speedwagon as he looked at Joseph in horror. 'Not… good!' he thought. 'That suit was a gift from Erina! This'll set him off for sure! He's got no sense of self-restraint!' Joseph stood up as his hair spiked up, a sound effect flashing next to him.

~LBR~

"Can somebody explain what those are? I've seen them a couple times, and I have no idea what they are," said Luan.

"I'll be honest, this is the tenth episode I've seen and I have no clue either," said Lynn.

"I think they're sound effects," said Lincoln. "This is adapted from a comic, after all."

~BT~

One of the hijackers pointed a revolver at Joseph as Speedwagon held a hand out to him. "Control yourself, JoJo!" he pleaded.

"You fellows did know there was the possibility of a crash if you hijacked this plane, did you not?" asked Joseph as he turned to the pilot. He put his hands on the pilot's face, freaking the latter out as he thought it was one of the kidnappers. Hamon crackled from Joseph's fingertips as it surged into the pilot's body.

"Ah!" gasped Speedwagon as the music became a lot funkier, for lack of a better word. "Is that Hamon? Oh no!" he said as Joseph let go of the pilot. The pilot, unconscious after the Hamon assault, slumped out of his seat as the unmanned wheel started to turn on its own.

~LBR~

"This must be his theme!" said Lana as she snapped her fingers. "This is fun! Like something you'd play at a party!"

"Not my style, but it fits him," said Luna. "And I can dig that!"

~BT~

The hijackers screamed as the plane started swerving out of control. "What did that crazy kid do?!" shouted one of the hijackers as the plane did an unplanned roll. "We're gonna crash!"

"Grab the controls!" yelled another.

"I can't fly, idiot!" complained the last one.

While the panicking hijackers bickered, Joseph ripped one of the chairs out. He turned to Speedwagon, who was holding the unconscious pilot. "Here!" he said. "Get the pilot ready, we're going to jump!"

The scene cut to the forest below as the plane sped towards the ground. It crashed offscreen, a huge explosion being heard as there was a flash of fiery light. A column of smoke rose as Joseph and Speedwagon took deep breaths, having landed on a grassy cliff safely courtesy of their chair cushions.

~LBR~

"He did it! Joseph kicked the butts of those baddies!" cheered Lana.

"Hooray for possible triple homicide!" joked Lynn.

~BT~

"Why can't you ever just think things through, JoJo?" asked an annoyed Speedwagon.

"I do, in fact," said Joseph. "A great deal. Mostly about how to beat keep you and Granny Erina safe. You two are the only family that I've got."

~LBR~

"Give credit where it's due, his heart is definitely in the right place," said Lincoln.

~BT~

"He may have his grandfather's face, but he's far from being a gentleman," narrated Speedwagon as the flashback ended. "That was the day I discovered that Joseph was able to use Hamon."

"So," said Straizo as he walked past Speedwagon, "young Joseph inherited the ability to control Hamon from his grandfather Jonathan?"

"Yes," said Speedwagon. He turned to look at Straizo. "But why are you speaking of him now?"

Straizo just said nothing, the background a bright light as he glared at Speedwagon. Without warning, his apprentices and Speedwagon's workers collapsed to the floor dead, Straizo in a combat stance.

~LBR~

"Whoa whoa whoa, what's going on?" asked Luan.

"No way…" said Luna in shock. "Straizo's gone bad!"

~BT~

"What the hell?!" shouted Speedwagon as the men's blood spilled onto the stone floor.

"I just took the lives of all these men," said Straizo, almost casually. "And when you lose your life, Jonathan's grandson will know grief and anger, and hate. He will develop a tremendous hatred for me."

"No!" screamed Speedwagon. "Straizo!" But Straizo didn't listen, kicking him and sending him flying. Speedwagon's skull split open like a watermelon, blood oozing freely as he hit the ground with a loud thud. Straizo merely looked down with apathy, a red filter covering him as the show's logo appeared.

~LBR~

"No," said Lana. "Speedwagon!"

"He can't be dead," said Lincoln in disbelief. "The part just started! You can't just kill one of the main characters from the last part in the first episode!"

"Straizo," said Luna in shock. "What happened to you in fifty years?"

~BT~

The episode resumed with shots of the carving, the man in the pillar, and the dead explorers. The sounds of spurting blood and footsteps echoed across the walls. "Straizo," said Speedwagon weakly as the man in question stepped towards the pillar, blood dripping down his hand. He stopped as he heard Speedwagon's voice. "Have… you lost your senses?"

"I haven't," said Straizo as he gestured a blood-soaked hand to his old friend. "In fact, my thinking is extremely clear."

~LBR~

"I beg to differ. He's definitely not thinking 'strait,'" said Luan before chuckling, her siblings groaning. "But seriously, he's lost his marbles."

~BT~

The camera panned up the petrified man as Straizo kept talking. "I chose Hamon to forge my body into something pure and strong. But as I trained, the aging of my flesh became painfully clear to me. Hamon provides only a small advantage over ordinary people. It cannot guard against the process of aging," he said as he crossed his arms, looking up at the titanic column.

~LBR~

"That 'small' advantage lets you shatter stone with ease and even walk on water. The heck do you mean 'small?!'" said Lynn.

"Considering what Jonathan was capable of before he learned how to use Hamon, I can actually buy that a bit," said Lincoln.

~BT~

"In the battle we fought so many years ago, I secretly admired Dio." Past scenes of the penultimate fight with Dio appeared, including him shattering Dire and putting his bisected body back together. "He was powerful," narrated Straizo. "He was beautiful! He was immortal!"

~LBR~

"There are VAMPIRES in this show?!" shouted Luan.

"Surprise!" said Luna with a smug smirk. "That's the power of the stone mask! Figured I'd let you find out the same way we did!"

"Though the way we found out was way creepier," said Lana.

"And wait until you see what they can do in this show!" said Lynn.

"The name makes more and more sense," said Luan as she looked at the title on the case.

~BT~

"I coveted the power granted by the stone mask," said Straizo as he grabbed one of the masks on the pillar pulling it off. "I didn't care who got in the way!"

Speedwagon struggled to look up. "You're a twisted traitor, Straizo!" he said as Straizo put on the mask and turned to face him.

"Your blood will now bring me immortality," said the traitorous Hamon user. "With you gone, the only ones to know of the mask will be Erina and Joseph Joestar. And once I have disposed of them, I shall learn more of the mask than Dio ever could!"

"No! Don't do it!" warned Speedwagon. "The knowledge you're seeking could have terrible consequences!" But his warning went unheeded as Straizo ran his bloody fingers against the mask's surface. Almost instantly, the mask reacted to the blood and released its spikes. Straizo grunted in pain as they dug into his skull, his screams becoming unbearable as the mask let off a brilliant light. His eyes glowed bright red as the transformation began.

"Jo… jo… E… ri… na," muttered Speedwagon before darkness took hold, the light from the stone mask illuminating the cave.

~LBR~

"This is insane," said Luna. "I never thought that Straizo would even consider turning against the Joestars like that."

"At least Joseph is gonna have himself an awesome fight," said Lana.

~BT~

The scene cut to sundown over New York City, tires screeching as an old-fashioned yellow car came to a stop. In front of the car was none other than Joseph Joestar, who was crossing the street.

"Hey, you!" yelled the driver as he leaned out the window. "Why dontcha getta clue what you're doin', dumbass?! Pull your head outta your butt and see where ya are!" Joseph frowned at the driver's attitude. "Now get the hell outta my way!" The driver soon found himself silent as Joseph walked up to him, pulling him out by his shirt collar.

"Hello there!" said Joseph with a hand to his ear. "What? Didn't hear that! I can't make it out!" He grabbed the man with both hands. "Would you mind repeating all that? I'd like to know what it was you meant to say." He leaned in very close, the driver breaking into a cold sweat. "In case I have to pound you."

~LBR~

"You gotta love that classic big city hospitality," joked Lincoln.

~BT~

"JoJo," said a stern voice as Joseph gasped in horror, "what is it you're doing there?" The camera panned over to reveal two figures as Joseph turned his head. On the right was Smokey, now without his cap and wearing a white dress shirt with a green tie, a red sweater vest, and black dress pants. The lack of a hat showed that he had a rat's tail braid. The other figure was an older woman with round glasses and a familiar necklace with a gemstone. She had short blonde hair underneath a white and blue headdress, a cream colored dress with black forearms, and short purple cape that draped over her torso and upper arms. In her right hand was a light blue umbrella.

"Uh, Granny Erina!" said Joseph.

~LBR~

"Erina! Man, she aged well! She looks even better than Straizo, and he had Hamon training!" said Luna in surprise.

"And once again, she's the only thing JoJo is afraid of," said Lana. "Which is hilarious."

~BT~

"I asked what you're doing with that man," said Erina.

Joseph immediately let go of the driver, letting him fall back into his chair. "Uh… well, you see…" he muttered, trying to think of a good excuse. He rubbed the back of his head nervously. "This man is, mmm… ah!" He saw the word "TAXI" printed on the side of the car and found his ticket out of this bad situation. "A taxi!" he exclaimed as he opened the door. "This way, you don't have to walk so far!"

"Thank you, JoJo," said Erina. "You're such a thoughtful boy. Climb in, Smokey, we're going for a ride." As the two got into the cab, Joseph let out a sigh of relief.

~LBR~

"Nice save, JoJo," said Lynn. "Only now you just doubled the fare."

"Or halved it, depending on how scared the driver is," said Lincoln.

~BT~

"The Joestar family," narrated Smokey as a piano played in the background, "reduced to a grandmother and her grandson." Joseph climbed into the taxi, and the scene cut to it driving down the street. "Over time, I would hear bits of their past."

"Granny, really?" said Joseph. "Speedwagon sent for us, and we came all the way to New York simply because he asked. But now we find he's not even here? I think his behavior is quite rude!"

~LBR~

"Yeah, it's so rude for him to die on them," said Luan.

"You don't know that!" said Lana as she pointed a finger at Luan. "Don't joke about that!"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry!" said Luan with her hands up. "Sheesh, tough crowd today…"

~BT~

"I'm sure that the oil business requires much of his time," said Erina. Joseph just groaned and looked out the window in disappointment. He then looked back at his grandmother with a mischievous look in his eye.

"Say, Granny," he said, earning an inquisitive "Hm?" from her as he raised his hand, "I'm curious. Was Speedwagon REALLY grandpa's best friend? Is that all it was? Come on now."

Smokey looked at the Joestars curiously. "What are you implying?" asked Erina.

Joseph just smirked as he rested his head in his hand. "Well, let's see. He was never married, was he? And you yourself are a widow. Well, it leads me to wonder if simple friendship was the ONLY relationship that was going on there."

~LBR~

"Is he implying that Speedwagon held a torch for Erina? Or for JONATHAN?" asked Lynn, scratching her head.

"I have no idea," admitted Lincoln.

~BT~

Erina glared at her grandson and raised her umbrella. "You rogue, you!" she snapped as she started to whack him with it, the car swerving due to the commotion.

"Gack! Sorry— ow! I was wrong— ow! Forgive me— ah, ow! I know Speedwagon is loyal— ow! I— ow! Ow! Please!" shouted Joseph as Erina hit him.

"Naughty boy!" scolded Erina.

While this went on, Smokey just watched the whole thing in disbelief. "The Joestars tended to be short-lived," he narrated as the taxi drove over the Brooklyn Bridge. "Granny Erina lost her husband in an accident at sea. She was pregnant with a son at the time. When he grew up, he married a girl who would also survive the wreck. They were JoJo's parents, later claimed by war and disease."

~LBR~

"Oh yeah, the baby from before!" said Luna. "Hopefully she was given a good home."

"It really sucks that they died, though," said Lynn. "Kinda wish I got to see what they were like."

"Me too," said Lana.

~BT~

The scene cut back to the inside of the cab. Erina was done punishing Joseph, who was looking out the window. "Granny Erina was a gentle and giving woman," narrated Smokey, "even to punks like me, or anybody else. Maybe it was because she lived with loneliness. JoJo was the same."

The scene showed a few shots of the city and close-ups of the Joestars. It finally cut to the outside of a restaurant at night, the taxi parked outside and the lights shining from the windows. "This time, however, his basic kindness got him into trouble. Thanks to me."

~LBR~

"What does he mean by that?" wondered Luna.

"My guess is he ran into somebody who he pickpocketed in the past, and JoJo had to defend him," said Lincoln.

~BT~

The scene changed to the inside of the restaurant, the customers enjoying their food. But one customer was less than satisfied.

"Hey, waiter!" came a rough voice. "WAITER!"

"Yes, sir?" asked a waiter. The owner of the voice was a large man in both height and width, and he looked very out of place in the high-end establishment. He had blonde hair on his head, spiked outwards with a bald patch. He also had what looked like a gold plate on his scalp with a badge-shaped piece at the end. He had small golden earrings and long sideburns. One of his eyes was seemingly wider than the other, most likely a glass eye, and it had a jagged tattoo going from it. He had a black zigzag mustache and sharp teeth, possibly filed down to make himself look tough. His outfit contrasted heavily with his head, being a fine suit consisting of a green striped shirt, a purple jacket and pants, and a light purple tie with pink stripes. "Who decided that stinking animal could be allowed in here, huh?" he said as he messily ate his spaghetti. "Huh?!"

A change in scene showed that the "stinking animal" in question was Smokey, about to sit down. He started sweating as he looked mortified. Erina was already sitting at the table with a neutral face. Joseph, who had taken off his shirt and could now be seen wearing brown suspenders, glared at the rude man. "His smell is ruining my appetite! That kind shouldn't be allowed in a place like this!" Poor Smokey just turned away, completely crestfallen.

~LBR~

"Oh…" said Luan quietly, her sisters in shock. "I guess it is the 30's. I still feel really bad for Smokey." She then turned to Lincoln. "Hey Linc, are you— Lincoln?"

Lincoln had paused the show, squeezing the controller's grips in his hands. He didn't care what time it was in the story, that man had gone too far! His best friend in the whole world, Clyde, was African-American too after all! He'd never describe him like that! Besides the fact that he was too much of a neat freak to ever be considered "stinking," Clyde was one of the kindest, most polite, and most understanding people he'd ever met, and Lincoln knew a lot of awesome people. To see Smokey treated like this brought his blood to a boil, Lincoln's eye twitching as he grinded his chipped teeth. "That slimy, disgusting, awful piece of crud…"

"Lincoln, calm down!" said Luan. "You're gonna break the controller! Just relax, please!"

"You heard what that punk said, didn't you?!" yelled Lincoln. "What, am I just supposed to sit around and not get angry?!"

"It's just a show, and it's pretty clear JoJo is gonna give him what's coming to him," said Luna. "So take a chill pill and relax before you hurt yourself!"

Lincoln took a deep breath and counted to ten, relaxing his grip on the controller. "You better be right, Luna," he said as he resumed the episode, Luan and Lynn putting their arms around their little brother.

~BT~

"I understand, sir," said the waiter as the bigot put his arm on the chair and chewed his food loudly, "but there is a policy handed down by management: 'As long as the check is paid in full, we happily serve anyone.'"

"What was that?!" bellowed the thug as he smacked the back of his chair. "You'll happily let beasts like that do their grazing in here, huh?!"

The man's words and volume started to attract attention, diners and staff looking at his and Smokey's tables. Smokey cast a sad look at Joseph. "Uh, guess I'll just be on my way," he murmured to his friend. But as he tried to stand up, Joseph put a hand on his wrist to stop him from leaving. Smokey gasped as Joseph stood up straight. He practically growled with barely-restrained fury as the background turned red. His tie flew up as he grabbed his collar with his left hand, and covered his face while looking through the gap in his fingers. A sound effect flashed on the screen as his shirt became white, his hair now a lighter shade of brown.

~LBR~

"What's with the posing? Is he gonna fight him or have a dance off?" asked Luan.

"I have no clue why they pose like that," admitted Lana. "Just a weird thing they do. But the change in colors happens whenever something serious is gonna happen."

~BT~

"JoJo," said a now blue-haired Erina, her dress turning plum.

"You heard him," said Joseph in a scarily even tone. "Come on! You're not going to tell me to stop, are you?"

"No," said Erina with folded hands. "People are entitled to their opinions, but this misbegotten oaf has given public insult to our friend." The camera quickly zoomed in on her. "Be mindful of the other guests, now, but teach him a lesson!"

Smokey, now with moss-green hair and a green vest, gasped at her words. He was shocked that she was allowing this to happen, and more importantly grateful that it was. A purple-haired man in a suit seemed to be paying closer attention than most to the impending brawl, grunting as he held a lit cigar.

Joseph raised a fist and smiled, another sound effect appearing beside him. "I was hoping you'd say that!"

~LBR~

"The people here are super lucky," said Lynn. "They're getting dinner and a show!"

~BT~

The thug laughed as he got out of his chair. His suit had turned pale pink, as had his hair and the markings under his right eye. "Well now, boy," he said as he cracked his knuckles, visible bruises on the lower fingers of his right hand, "looking to fight?" He slipped his right hand into his coat pocket.

"Let me help!" yelled Joseph, left hand pointed to his face while he pointed to the man with his right. "If the brass knuckles are what you're looking for, you are not going to find them inside of your coat!" The camera zoomed in on him as he smirked, the background consisting of orange and brown lines as the scene briefly changed to an odd checkered halftone. "You might want to check your back pocket instead!"

"Wha?!" said the thug as he leaned forward. The customers looked on in shock.

"What?" asked Smokey in surprise, Erina remaining stoic as ever.

The thug pulled his hand out of his coat pocket and went into his back pants pocket, a rhombus filter covering the screen. 'Huh? No way!' he thought as he felt what he was looking for, a blue filter covering a split screen of his face as he pulled out a set of spiked brass knuckles. "Eh?"

~LBR~

"What the heck? How did he do that?!" shouted Luna in surprise. Lincoln soon found himself forgetting his anger, thoroughly impressed by Joseph's deduction.

~BT~

"Next you'll say, 'You bastard, how could you have possibly known where they were?!'" said Joseph as he pointed to the man.

"You bastard, how could you have possibly known where they were?!" repeated the thug. "HUH?!"

~LBR~

"Maybe the Hamon makes him psychic!" said Lana.

"And he's still able to mess with the jerk! JoJo is great!" said Luan.

~BT~

The background changed to red lines as Joseph held up a hand. "By the visible abrasions that are on your right hand, it's obvious that you do your fighting using brass knuckles!" The scene cut to the thug's shirt, blood splattered on his left side. "You've no wounds, so the blood on your shirt is not from you!"

The thug gasped as he pulled back his jacket and looked at the bloodstains. "Therefore, you've just come from a fight! Since the blood is on your shirt, and not that pink horror of a coat," continued Joseph as the man stared slack-jawed in disbelief, "it was taken off prior to the fight!" The man grit his teeth. "And then, after you had completed your assault, the knuckles came off! And that's when you proceeded to stow them away, in your back pocket!" The thug just grunted as he slipped the knuckles onto his right hand.

~LBR~

"That's so cool! He's like a detective!" said Lincoln.

"Hold on a second, I just thought of something weird," said Lana. "He said a pink horror of a coat?"

"Yeah, what about it?" said Luna. "What, do you think it looks good?"

"Heck no, pink is gross!" said Lana. "But it was purple before. Does Joseph… know about the color shifts?"

Everyone was silent for a little bit, not sure how to respond to that. "I have no idea," said Lynn. Lincoln resumed the episode without a word.

~BT~

"For my next glimpse into the future, you will now say, 'So what, you little punk?!'" said Joseph as he pointed at the thug.

"Yeah, so what, you little punk?!" said the man as he cracked his knuckles and pulled back his right fist. "And now, you're gonna get it!" As he threw a punch, his fist made contact and blood was sent flying. "I gotcha!" he yelled as he threw a barrage of punches. The other customers just watched the whole thing happen. "You like that, huh? That'll teach you a lesson!"

A multicolored filter with stars covered Joseph. "Sorry, you missed," he said. The thug whimpered as he saw that what he had been hitting the whole time was actually a coat rack Joseph was holding. "What have you been punching? I wasn't the one you were pummeling so happily."

A quick cut revealed that two spikes on the coat rack had impaled the man's hand. "OH MY GOD!" he screamed as he pulled his hand off and fell onto the floor.

~LBR~

"Why would a coat rack need to have such sharp spikes on it?" asked Lincoln. "That's just asking for a lawsuit!"

"Unruly customers?" suggested Luan. "And besides, it's his own fault for acting so 'brass!' Hahaha, get it?"

~BT~

"I can predict and counter anything your tiny brain is able to come up with. Do you understand that now, you simpleton?" boasted Joseph as the restaurant's clientele began applauding. Smokey smiled, happy that he had friends like the Joestars in his life.

~LBR~

"When did this become a Reddit story?" joked Luna.

~BT~

As the color palette was restored, the purple-haired man from before stood up. He slammed his hands loudly on the table as he did so, catching Joseph's attention. Joseph raised his fists, prepared for another fight if need be.

"Please," said the man as he bowed his head, "forgive the behavior of my underling, madam. You're Erina Joestar, aren't you? I worked on a lot of business deals with your Mr. Speedwagon, you see. He told me some stories about you when him and me were in London a while back. I'm glad to meet ya."

~LBR~

"'I've come here to make an offer you can't refuse,'" said Luan, something that managed to get a small laugh out of Luna. Lincoln turned to Lynn and Lana, the latter shrugging in confusion.

~BT~

The gangster walked up to the Joestar table. "I heard a little something through the grapevine. It hasn't made it into the papers yet, but you should know." The sound of dress shoes on tile floors stopped with the man. He raised his hand to his face. "It seems that Mr. Speedwagon has been murdered."

A split screen showed the Joestar's reactions. Erina was shocked, her mouth hanging open. Joseph tensed up. "Are… you sure?" he asked the gangster.

"Rumor is, the cat who did it was some sort of Tibetan monk," said the man.

"Some sort of monk?" repeated Joseph. "Could it be Straizo?"

~LBR~

"So JoJo knew Straizo?" said Lynn. "That's gotta really suck, especially since they're gonna have to fight."

~BT~

"All they're saying is that the bodies of Speedwagon and his team washed up along a riverbank somewhere down in Mexico," continued the gangster. "It's a genuine mystery. Nobody has any idea why they were killed, or where the monk might've gone afterwards."

Joseph gasped as Erina folded her trembling hands. "Actually, I think I might know," she said. "Perhaps… Speedwagon said something a long time ago. It involved Dio, and the horrible stone mask that changed him."

"JoJo," warned Smokey as Joseph looked over his shoulder, "that guy is a mafia man! You can't trust what he tells you! He's trying to pull something!"

The mobster just put a cigar in his mouth. "Believe whatever you want to, kid," he said as he started rooting through his pocket.

"Hold on," said Joseph as he pointed at the man. "Try your breast pocket if you're after your lighter." The man gasped before Joseph grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer. "Anyway, thanks for the warning, Smokey, but I think I believe what this man is telling us."

~LBR~

"That makes one of us," said Lincoln. "I still think Speedwagon's alive. It feels weird to bring him back just to have Straizo kill him."

"Yeah, you tell him!" said Lana as she high-fived her brother.

~BT~

"These fellows are only motivated by money," said Joseph. "Clearly, information like that is valuable to his organization, so I'm inclined to listen to him. However!"

He then decked the mafia man in the gut as hard as he could. His tongue stuck out as he coughed up blood and sputtered.

~LBR~

"Ouch, guess he gave him a physical punch to the gut after the emotional one he was dealt," said Luan.

~BT~

"As true as that may be, you don't simply waltz over here, and then just blurt out awful news to Granny Erina! Don't you see how badly upset you've made her with this news? You are very thoughtless!" He then sent the man flying into an empty table, turning it onto its side.

~LBR~

"Whatever happened to not shooting the messenger, dude?" asked Luna.

"Doesn't say anything about punching them," said Lincoln with a shrug.

~BT~

Erina's eyes wavered. "It was fifty years ago, and still, those events haunt us!"

Joseph put his hands on her shoulders. "Don't be frightened," he said. "I'm here, and I'll protect you."

"You mustn't, Joseph!" said Erina as he crouched down to be at eye level with her. "I'm concerned for you! I don't want you snared by evil from a half-century ago!"

She went in to hug her grandson, Joseph gently returning the embrace. "I'll be fine, Granny," he assured, shadows covering his face as he became much more serious. "If this is my fate, I accept it fully."

~LBR~

"That was a sweet little scene," said Lincoln.

~BT~

A spotlight shone on the Joestars. "At the time," narrated Smokey, "I didn't understand what was going on." A few shots of the city came into view as time passed. "But these two… had an unimaginable history."

The scene cut to a small cafe called "Irene Cafe." The customers chattered and clamored amongst themselves. "Hey Smokey," said Joseph.

"Hm?" said Smokey as he looked up from his drink, now wearing his usual attire. Joseph was seated on the other end of their table, reading a newspaper. "What's goin' on, JoJo?"

"Look at this here," said Joseph. He leaned in as a closer version of him appeared, this and the backwards neon sign revealing that what was seen earlier was a mirror on the wall. "See what they're saying?"

~LBR~

"'It says that the Red Sox and White Sox washed their uniforms together, and are now combining their teams to become the Pink Sox!'" joked Lynn.

~BT~

"What is it?" asked Smokey as Joseph slid the paper over. There was an ad for padded bras.

"Do you think this is true?" asked Joseph as he put his hands to his chest. "Can girls really make them bigger?! Oohoo!"

~LBR~

"Ah, men," said Luna with a smirk and a roll of her eyes.

"What's the point of having a big chest anyway?" asked Lana.

"Yeah, they'd just get in the way of sports and stuff," said Lynn. "I like my body as a lean, mean fighting machine with curves in the right places!" She flexed her bicep and kissed it to make a point.

"Someday, when you're older, you two will understand," said Luan.

"You're only a year older than me!"

~BT~

"Let's see," said a skeptical Smokey as he lifted the paper. "'Go from a AA-cup to a C-cup.' Ha, right! Just a bunch of snake oil! Don't buy into it!"

~LBR~

"Hey, leave the snakes out of it!" said Lana.

"No, snake oil is a term for junk that people try to sell as a scam," said Lincoln. "Like those mail order X-Ray specs advertised in my special edition Ace Savvy #52."

"Oh yeah, the ones that just made you super dizzy!" said Lana.

"Yeah, that's ten bucks I'll never get back."

~BT~

"Come again?" asked Joseph as he tilted his head.

"I think $1.25 a pair is too much," said Smokey, but little did he know that Joseph's attention was elsewhere. Leaning against the front window was a tall figure staring at Joseph, a "menacing" sound effect floating on the edge of the screen as the eerie music dampened Smokey's voice. The man wore a light gray coat that looked darker in the night. A dark gray scarf was wrapped around his neck, and he had long black hair. His red eyes seemed to peer into Joseph's very soul.

~LBR~

"Straizo," said Luna. "He looks like he did way back when."

"That's the power of being immortal," said Lynn.

~BT~

Joseph put two fingers on his temple and turned away from the man outside, trying to remember if he knew him. The man just kept glaring at him.

"Uh-" said Joseph as he stood up, finger in the air. He cut himself off as he gave it a bit more thought, Smokey turning around to see the figure. "No," said Joseph as he closed his eyes and put a hand on his head. "Yes, but-"

Joseph walked out through the door to talk to the man, his cap back on. "I say," he said, breath visible in the cold night air, "you look rather familiar to me, yet somehow different." The man said nothing as he flipped back his long bangs.

"Please, tell me," requested Joseph as he pointed at the familiar stranger, "have we possibly met somewhere before?"

The figure just walked away from the window, an aerial shot showing that he wore light gray pants with knee pads and dark brown boots that went up to said pads. "And… why isn't your breath visible? It's so cold," said Joseph.

~LBR~

"Hold on, that doesn't make any sense," said Lincoln. "Dio's breath was visible when he became a vampire."

"Maybe Straizo doesn't need to breathe," suggested Luan.

"Maybe," said Luna. "He's been a vampire longer than Dio was."

~BT~

The figure just kept walking in a circle, Joseph doing the same. "And, if my eyes aren't deceiving me, I think I caught a glimpse of fangs in your mouth just now. Was I seeing things?" As he walked past the figure, a color shift turned Joseph's eyes and hair red while his jacket had turned green, save the shoulder pads. "Don't trifle with me, I warn you."

The figure, Straizo, obliged Joseph and opened his mouth a little. His fangs glistened under the streetlights. His outfit had turned purple due to the color shift and his scarf was now yellow, but his eyes remained blood red. "Even if it is in plain sight on this city street, JoJo," said the vampire as he raised his arms to get into a combat stance, "I'll take your life long before you ever become a danger!"

Joseph cool reached behind him. "Or… perhaps not," he said as he pulled out a Tommy gun.

~LBR~

The five siblings couldn't believe their eyes. "What the HUH?!" yelled Lana.

~BT~

Straizo only had time to flinch before Joseph opened fire. A barrage of bullets sprayed from the barrel, empty shells spat out by the dozen. Joseph's cap fell off as he shot round after round, the bullets shattering the window and making holes in Straizo's body, the vampire falling into the cafe.

~LBR~

"Where did that come from? Did he pull it out of his butt or something?!" yelled Luan.

"Who knows?" said Lincoln with a huge grin on his face.

"Who cares?!" said Lynn with an equally wide smile.

"This is awesome!" they said in unison.

~BT~

The customers fell to the floor, a woman screaming as everyone ducked out of the way. Stray bullets shattered mugs and bottles as everyone screamed. 'I knew the man was crazy,' thought Smokey, his outfit now pink, 'but not that crazy! Right out in public? Incredible! Where did he even get the Tommy gun?! WHY SHOOT UP THE WHOLE CITY?!'

Joseph let out a primal scream as he pumped Straizo full of lead. Finally, the gunfire stopped, wisps of smoke rising from the bullet holes as Joseph put his boot on the now empty window frame. He looked down at the body of Straizo as the opening to Roundabout started playing. "Yes, I was awaiting you, Straizo," he said. "That was on behalf of Speedwagon, but I don't think you'll go down so easily." A close-up shot revealed that Joseph was crying. "Our war has begun!" he declared as the "To Be Continued" arrow appeared.

~LBR~

"That was great!" said Lincoln as the ending played, showing a stone mask shattering and revealing a petrified vampire's face behind it. The camera went up a pillar of carvings as Roundabout played, overlays of characters from the past and present visible before it ended on an odd red stone. "I didn't think it would be possible so soon, but Part 2 is shaping up to be even better than Part 1!"

"You said it, Lincoln!" said Lana. "And Joseph is awesome! The bottle cap, the coat rack, the machine gun out of nowhere!"

"I can already tell that the fights are gonna be on a whole new level!" said Lynn.

"So, you like it so far?" asked Luna.

"Like it? I love it! I'm definitely gonna stick around for more!" said Luan.

"Glad to hear it, because the next episode is coming up!" said Lincoln as the red stone shined brightly on the screen.


Battle Tendency has begun! It's hard to believe it's been a full year since I posted the first two chapters, huh? And what a way to celebrate!

Also, my favorite of the Louds has joined the reactions! I hoped you all liked Luan in this chapter, because she'll be sticking around for the rest of the season! Why? Two words, my dear readers: Joseph Joestar.

And now, onto the guest reviews!

Guest: I'm glad you're excited!

Bruuh: Same to you! I hope you both enjoy the Part 2 reactions!

And that's all from me! Catch you next time, Starpion out!