The Louds were stoked as the last few bars of the ending song played. After the last episode raised the bar, they were more pumped than ever for the next episode to start! And fortunately for them, they didn't have to wait much longer as the next episode was queued up.

~BT~

The episode opened on the earlier scene of Joseph opening fire with the Tommy gun. "I knew the man was crazy," repeated Smokey's narration as Joseph screamed over the sound of his bullets, "but not that crazy!"

After the gunfire was done, the episode proper began with a shot of the wrecked cafe. The sounds of shattering glass could be heard as passerbys stared in shock. Joseph paid them no mind as he wiped his tears. "Straizo!" he shouted. "I'm going to give you a choice on how you want to meet your demise! Will it be plain old sunlight or Hamon? Or I could just smash in your brains, how would you feel about that?!"

~LBR~

"I'm guessing option four, 'let him live,' isn't available at this point," said Luan.

~BT~

Joseph stepped into the cafe through the shattered window, shards of glass cracking under his feet. The customers screamed at the sight of the seemingly crazy gunman, one woman screaming, "He's going to kill us all! Someone help us, please!"

"Huh?" said Joseph as he looked around the destroyed building, walking up to one of the tables while he held the gun.

"JoJo, what'd you…" said Smokey in shock as Joseph kicked a fallen chair out of his way. "Did you lose your mind? Just look at what you've done?"

~LBR~

"This was a little… much," said Lincoln.

"Couldn't he have picked a different weapon to pull out of nowhere?" asked Lana.

"I think we've established that the Joestars don't do anything subtly," said Luna.

~BT~

"Hm?" grunted Joseph in confusion as he picked up a mug. Before he could take a sip, the handle broke and the cup fell to the floor. Joseph carefully put the handle back on the table and looked around the cafe, hand over his eyes. "Yeah, I know, it'll take a small fortune to fix everything in this place."

"Not that!" shouted Smokey as he ran to his friend's side and pointed at him. "You just shot a person!"

"Person?" asked Joseph as he looked at Smokey. He scoffed as he bent over to pick up a stray bullet. "You mean Straizo?"

~LBR~

"Does being a vampire stop you from being a person?" wondered Lincoln.

"Considering what happened with Dio, I'd say yes," said Lynn.

~BT~

Joseph looked closer at the bullet, sweat dripping down his forehead. The bullet had a small hole in the front, while others on the ground looked far too crumpled to have hit flesh and blood. 'These bullets I fired at him all have strange dents in them. They've been completely warped,' thought Joseph.

~LBR~

"How did that happen?" wondered Lana. "What, did he poke them really fast?"

"Maybe he can grow fangs anywhere on his body or something," said Luan. "A dentist's worst nightmare, having to clean over a thousand teeth!"

~BT~

"Smokey, get out of here, now," said Joseph to Smokey's confusion. "That thing I shot? I can only hope that he WAS a person. And if he was, I'll happily go to jail without thinking twice about it."

~LBR~

"At least he's willing to face consequences for his actions, even if they were to avenge Speedwagon," said Luna. "That's cool."

~BT~

"But— I don't— what else would he be?!" asked Smokey as a pair of girls screamed.

"Can we please stop the crying?" said Joseph as he walked up to the sobbing women, annoyed. "I'm trying to think here!" He grabbed one of them by the shoulders and pulled her over to him. "If you don't calm down, I may have to make out with you."

~LBR~

"Well, we've already got destruction of property and murder," said Lynn. "Might as well go for sexual assault while the getting's good."

"'I had a hot dog with extra onions for dinner, so you REALLY don't want that,'" joked Luan.

~BT~

But something caught Joseph's eye, a split screen having him turn it to the inside of the cafe. He gasped in shock as menacing sound effects pulsed inside the foggy ruins of the establishment. On the other side of the building was the bullet riddled corpse of Straizo, lying on the floor. That is, until it started to stand up.

~LBR~

"It's like every time a vampire is shot in this universe, they have to show that they're still kicking in the creepiest way possible," said Lana as she looked at the screen in horror. "First there was Dio killing that cop and later licking his own blood, and now this!"

"And righting himself with only his legs," said Lynn. "That takes some major strength and control."

~BT~

Slowly but surely, Straizo used only his feet planted firmly on the ground to lift himself upright. The diners freaked out at the walking corpse, finding it much creepier than the apparent lunatic. The building was quickly emptied as the civilians ran for safety, leaving only Joseph, Smokey, and Straizo inside. Straizo balanced himself a bit, his red eyes staring at Joseph with no emotions as the opening began, a very jazzy and upbeat song playing.

~LBR~

"Ah, major whiplash!" said Lincoln as he grabbed his neck.

"You should've tried to brace yourself!" laughed Luan. "Get it?"

"A new intro, cool!" said Lana.

"And I'm really digging this funky music!" said Luna as she waved her fingers to the tune. "I'm feeling pumped up from the first note!"

~BT~

The intro began with a few quick shots: stone text of the logo built into a pillar with a stone mask, a 3-D Joseph seemingly changing into a new outfit, and a pair of iron balls on strings with "J" on them clacking against each other. A swipe of ink put the Japanese title on the screen. Just as the intro ended, the stone title screen broke open to reveal the logo.

As the singing began, the opening credits flashed on the screen. A pink silhouette of Joseph posed in front of a colorful background, more silhouettes joining it briefly. A shot of three posing silhouettes appeared, casting a large shadow as it spun around. For a brief moment, three stone statues appeared on the screen, eerily similar to the shadowy characters, before quick shots of supporting characters flashed by.

~LBR~

"Who were those guys? More enemies to fight?" wondered Lynn.

"I'm betting they're pillar guys like that one in Mexico!" said Lana.

~BT~

More posing silhouettes appeared, including a purple female figure and a blue male figure. The pink figure, Joseph, and the blue figure sparred for a moment before becoming the characters. The blue figure was a blonde man with a headband, seemingly glaring at Joseph.

~LBR~

"Looks like we've got JoJo's rival-slash-best friend," said Lincoln.

"He's kind of giving me Dio vibes with the blonde hair," said Lynn before her eyes widened. "Wait, you don't think-"

"His hair is lighter than Speedwagon's, so I think we're safe from having to deal with one of Dio's relatives," said Luna.

"Phew," said Lana as she wiped away her sweat.

~BT~

A quick shot of Joseph's silhouette appeared, spinning what looked like those earlier balls on strings. It quickly got tangled up in them and fell over.

~LBR~

All the Louds gave a chuckle at Joseph's little display.

~BT~

A much more somber bridge appeared as the long hair of a woman was visible. Said woman closed her eyes and spun around in front of a pink background. A splash of rose petals came on the screen along with the name of the intro: "Bloody Stream." The background faded to black as a necklace swung into view, one with a huge red gemstone shaped like an upside-down teardrop. A bunch of ghostly hands reached out to grab the necklace, only to be swept away by more shots of the supporting cast, then the stone pillar from Mexico.

~LBR~

"So these weird rock people are after… jewelry?" wondered Luan. "Maybe they want some fancier rocks in their pillars."

~BT~

As the refrain began, a new orange silhouette appeared. Energy seemed to spiral around its arms, and it was soon replaced by a red silhouette that seemed to have strings whipping out of its body. Finally, a purple silhouette appeared and swung its arm out, slashing the screen and cutting, quite literally, to a new scene. The three figures that just appeared were standing on a thin plateau, their bodies covered in shadow. However, a closer look showed that they were the same figures who cast that shadow and were shown in the stone wall. As the camera pulled back, the blonde figure got into a pose while Joseph pointed at the three with a cheeky smile.

There was another cut to the necklace, then a long-haired figure standing in front of the rising sun. A brief cut of the figures glowing red eyes flashed on the screen before cutting to Joseph and the blonde man showing off their fighting skills on a spinning screen.

~LBR~

"This is so good! So colorful and energetic, it just screams Joseph!" said Luna.

"Is that one guy… using bubbles?" asked Lana. Lincoln paused the screen as they saw the hairband man with a large bubble between his hands.

"Huh, so this is what a SpongeBob anime is like," said Lincoln as he hit the play button.

~BT~

The scene cut to Joseph tying something around his forehead, a headband identical to the blonde man's if not being the man's headband exactly. He let out a silent war cry in time with the singer belting out a long note, the ending wrapping up with a shot of the night sky, a shooting star, and a shot of the red gemstone, now out of the necklace and in front of the stone logo.

~LBR~

"That was so cool! Definitely my favorite so far!" cheered Lincoln.

"Yeah, now I'm all pumped!" said Lynn. "Here we go, JoJo versus Straizo!"

~BT~

The episode resumed with the camera moving down to the outside of the cafe, cars honking from every direction as the crowd that ran away blocked the street. Passersby were looking inside the building as the name of the episode was displayed as, "Episode 11: The Game Master."

Cutting back to the inside, the sound effects surrounded Straizo as he became in focus. His hair and scarf billowed in the wind as he stared at Joseph. Calmly, he dug one of his fingers into a bullet hole in his thigh. He tore the flesh open, connecting the wound to another hole before pulling out a crumpled bullet and dropping it to the floor. Straizo then held one arm forward and another back, then twisted his whole body. This caused every bullet left inside him to pop out at once, a few landing as far as Joseph's feet.

'Just as I feared,' thought Joseph, 'Straizo is indeed a vampire!'

~LBR~

"Didn't you just spend a minute learning that, then have him confirm it?" said Luan. "I don't think you can't be sure after something like that."

~BT~

A split screen showed Straizo's piercing gaze. "Dio's failure was in his infatuation with his own power," said the vampire as his part of the screen soon covered the whole thing. He raised a fist as he continued. "He just couldn't resist constantly pushing his own limits! He stretched himself thin, allowing Jonathan to strike him!"

Joseph grunted as Straizo smiled. "But I have a different philosophy. I figure I'll have plenty of time to reflect on the extent of my powers after you're destroyed! There will be no mercy for you!"

~LBR~

"Then stop talking and get to the good part! I don't have all day, you know!" said Lynn as she crossed her arms.

~BT~

Straizo was covered in a violet filter with swirls as speed lines moved from a dark red background. "I thought it would be appropriate to open up with the technique that Dio used to kill Jonathan!"

Joseph grunted as he raised his gun to fire. But a close-up shot inside a diamond-patterned panel had him pull the trigger to no avail. In his earlier attack, Joseph had completely emptied the Tommy gun's drum. Joseph grunted in annoyance and shock as each pull of the trigger resulted in a soft click and no gunfire.

Straizo scoffed in amusement. "Guns will fail," he said as his eyes widened. The iris wavered as eight magenta lines split his eye open. "However, I can fire high-pressure essence from my eyes! Look deeply into my Space Ripper Stingy Eyes, Joseph!"

~LBR~

"His what now?" said Lincoln.

"Space Ripper… Stingy Eyes?" repeated Lana. "That sounded so cool in the first half, but then you totally lost me."

"Yeah, if Dio called them that when he used them on JoJo, I couldn't take it seriously," said Luna.

~BT~

His eyes opened up, Joseph gasping in the reflection of his eyes. Straizo's eyes shot the familiar energy beams as fast as a bullet, the blasts going straight for Joseph's head.

The blasts hit their mark, pitch black holes bored into Joseph's forehead and neck. "JoJo!" screamed Smokey in shock from outside.

~LBR~

"Holy cow!" shouted Lincoln.

"There's no way that they killed off JoJo in episode two," said Lynn. "This has to be a trick!"

"You're right, Lynn," said Lincoln. "I don't believe it for a second! Did you see those holes?"

"Yeah, not a drop of blood from them," said Luan. "Something's fishy here."

~BT~

Straizo leaned back, righting himself from the recoil. "That was a little too easy," he said as he put a hand to his head. "Now the only one left is Erina Joestar. And that should be…"

"I know what you'll say next—"

"About as easy as taking candy from a baby," said Straizo and Joseph in unison, Straizo gasping in realization as Joseph smirked in satisfaction. Straizo turned to see Joseph standing tall, obviously not dead. He actually looked quite pleased with himself with a smug smile and hands on his hips, despite the gaping, cracked holes in his forehead and neck.

"Next thing you'll say is, 'How could he possibly be alive with that hole in his head?'" predicted Joseph, pointing to himself and Straizo. "Am I right?"

"But-But how could he possibly be alive with that hole in his head?" wondered a bewildered Straizo, an orange filter over him and the background now blue and distorted. He gasped as he realized that Joseph's prediction came true.

~LBR~

"Is that gonna be his thing? Guessing what people are gonna say?" wondered Lynn. "Because I could get behind that."

~BT~

The scene cut to a shattered chandelier rocking back and forth on its chain. "Too much time meditating out in the Tibetan boonies has dulled your senses. That's why I like the city. It keeps you sharp. You wouldn't be so confused right now if you had just been a bit more observant."

The camera cut back to Joseph. "Alright, here's a hint," he said as he pointed up. "You wouldn't happen to have the time, would you?" A close-up revealed the analog clock in the cafe… and its numbers were backwards.

~LBR~

"Mirrors, the oldest trick in the book!" said Lincoln. "JoJo's a professional at this!"

"What, messing with people?" asked Luna.

"That too," said Lincoln.

~BT~

The scene pulled back to show Straizo standing in the abandoned cafe. "I heard the story about Dio taking down my grandfather by firing some sort of blast from his eyes."

"A mirror!" gasped Straizo as he turned around. Joseph had circled around to his side and was holding his gun by the barrel.

"Look who finally noticed!" shouted Joseph, running up to Straizo and pulling back his gun. He swung it like a club as soon as he was in reach, slamming the stock into Straizo's cheek and causing him to bleed. "Straitz-oaf!"

~LBR~

"That was awesome!" said Lana. "Hey, there was a mirror in the last episode, right? Next to their table! He must've planned that from the very start!"

"JoJo's a lot smarter than he looks," said Luna. "This'll make his fights fun, I bet!"

~BT~

"I also heard that you may be severely allergic to Hamon, just as much as you are to sunlight!" screamed Joseph as he swung Straizo into the mirror, shattering it. He took a deep breath as Hamon built up in his hand. "Batter up, here comes the pitch!" He grabbed the gun's barrel and swung it to the side, Hamon ripping through the gun and towards Straizo. "That's outta here!" he shouted as he threw Straizo against the wall. Straizo slumped against the wall, not moving.

~LBR~

"Home run!" cheered Lynn.

"I dunno, seems more like a 'grand slam' to me!" laughed Luan.

"Okay, you get one," said Lynn. "Don't push your luck."

~BT~

The music stopped as Joseph looked at the defeated Straizo. "So, I hear that Hamon does a pretty good job of melting vampire faces," he said as he walked up to Straizo. "Let's have a look here." But as he lifted Straizo's scarf to get a better look, he gasped. Behind the now pale orange scarf, a rather unmelted Straizo stared blankly while menacing sound effects appeared. Joseph gasped, a color shift turning his hair and eyes red and his outfit red and sea green. Straizo, now sporting brown hair and a purple outfit, stood up and fired another blast of Space Ripper Stingy Eyes. Joseph had to duck to avoid the blasts, but as a brief filter revealed, he couldn't avoid it entirely as a shallow cut on his neck spurted blood.

Joseph fell backwards and somersaulted onto his feet. "He-He's unharmed! It's as though I never even touched him at all! Could it be possible that Granny was wrong?"

~LBR~

"So his Hamon is strong enough to shoot a bottle cap like a bullet, but not strong enough to even touch this bloodsucking pretty boy traitor?" wondered Lana. "What's up with that?"

"Don't forget that Straizo was a Hamon user too," said Lincoln. "He must have some sort of counter for Hamon."

"Like what, SPF a million?" asked Luna.

~BT~

"Not at all," said Straizo. "Your granny was not wrong because I can see that you would grow into quite a worthy foe if I didn't have to kill you now. Here's a secret before you die."

The scene cut to a closer shot of Straizo holding a hand to his scarf. "There is an insect deep in Southeast Asia called the Satiporoja beetle," he said as orange lines like veins moved across the fibers of his scarf. An image of said beetle appeared on the screen as he explained his secret. "Thirty thousand of their tiny stomachs have been dried out, and then woven into this scarf."

~LBR~

"Hey, that's just cruel!" said Lana.

"And more than a little gross," said Luan, sticking her tongue out.

~BT~

As Straizo continued his explanation with his normal color palette, the background changed to an orange and black smoke with thousands of beetles taking the shape of his scarf. "Their bodies conduct Hamon far better than a human body, thus dispersing the charge. It's similar to an electrical ground."

~LBR~

"That explains it," said Lynn. "Still kinda messed up, though."

~BT~

A colorful background appeared as Straizo was covered in an orange filter, his scarf black with moving red dots. "I have inherited four thousand years worth of history and research in the art of Hamon!" boasted the vampire. "Unlike Dio, I have studied the craft! I am a master of its strengths and flaws in all forms of combat!"

"Wow, that's quite impressive," said Joseph as he circled around to the window. "No, really, it is! But did you think I'd completely rely on a gimmick like Hamon all of the time?"

Straizo just looked at Joseph as the young man smirked. "I'm also very fast!" he shouted as he pulled a gray string.

~LBR~

"'I'll just unwind your scarf like they do in those cartoons, and then your defense will be no more!'" joked Lincoln.

~BT~

Pulling the string released a metal pin from a hand grenade, a hand grenade that Joseph had stuck to Straizo's scarf. "What the— How did you pin that grenade on my scarf?!" said Straizo as Joseph's theme started playing. Joseph made a break for the window, kicking on the ground to jump the frame. Straizo smacked the grenade off his scarf and away from him. "Child's play!"

"Sure, but I was still able to pull one over on you, wasn't I? And you should take a look at the grenade you just knocked away!" said Joseph as he leapt out of the building.

The grenade had multiple strings tied around it, each one pulling another pin. Straizo looked behind him and saw a cluster of at least nine grenades pinned to the other end of his scarf. A cluster that he had just armed.

"Ngh! You son of a— ahhh! AHHHHHH!" shrieked Straizo as the grenades exploded. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" His body was completely engulfed by the explosions, his undead cells being ripped apart by the force and the fire.

~LBR~

"Forget the Tommy gun, where did he even FIND all those grenades?!" shouted Luna. "Did this dude hit up a clearance sale on weapons in the past hour?!"

"Rule of cool, Luna," said Lincoln. "That's all there is, and all that JoJo needs!"

~BT~

"AHHHH!" screamed Joseph, jumping through the window just as the explosion reached it. The color shift had ended along with the battle in the diner. The crowd became denser as the plume of smoke piqued the pedestrians' curiosity.

"Well, that was a close one," muttered Joseph as he leaned against the restaurant wall. Smokey just stared at the inside of the improvised battleground, Joseph getting up in case Straizo wasn't down for the count. He gasped as he saw something. "Wha… What the hell is he?!"

~LBR~

"Don't tell me he actually survived that blast!" said Luan.

"Is this the part where his skeleton walks out of the fire?" asked Lynn.

~BT~

Smokey got closer to get a better look through the smoke, and put his hands to his face as his face became one of terror. "Smokey, I thought I told you to run!" chastised Joseph.

"It's too late for that now!" shouted Smokey, closing his eyes and clasping his hands together. "Please, God!" he prayed in panic. "I promise I won't ever do anything bad again! No stealing, no lying, I swear it! Please, just save me!" As Smokey begged for the nightmare to end, Joseph could only stare in horror at what he saw inside the ruins of that cafe.

Menacing sound effects floated across the screen, the wrecked building covered with bits and pieces of Straizo. Suddenly, an arm that had been blown off began to move, but not in a way any human arm could. Two strips of flesh tore off it and stretched out, sticking to the floor like tape before pulling the arm. Pieces of flesh, organ, and bone began to move to one spot as Straizo's obliterated body started to put itself back together.

~LBR~

The Louds stared at the screen in complete shock. "That's na~sty," chuckled Lana. "So cool!"

"How the heck can he do that when his brains are splattered on the walls?" wondered Lynn.

"'Come together, right now!'" joked Luna in her best imitation of Straizo's accent.

~BT~

"He… He's a monster," said Smokey as he saw the vampire's body rebuild itself. The incomplete Straizo stood up. His clothes were shredded, and a thin mist of blood surrounded him as he kept regenerating. Smokey quickly turned to Joseph. "You probably kill monsters all the time! You know what to do, right? JoJo?"

"Sure, of course I do," said Joseph confidently.

~LBR~

"'Call the police and let them take care of this!'" joked Luan.

"Yeah, I know you weren't here for the first part, Luan," said Luna, "but the last time the police tried to kill a vampire didn't end well."

~BT~

"Great! I knew you would!" said Smokey in relief, clenching a fist.

"Yep! I have a secret weapon for situations such as this."

"A secret weapon? Really? What kind of weapon?"

"Why, isn't it obvious?"

~LBR~

"Considering his whole schtick, I doubt anything he does will be obvious," said Luna.

"'A wooden stake through the heart is known to kill vampires, and I always carry a No. 2 pencil with me!'" joked Lana.

~BT~

The scene cut back to the inside of the wrecked cafe, showing that Straizo's legs weren't complete. "Look at his legs, Smokey. I basically blew them to smithereens, and they still haven't fully healed yet," said Joseph. A cut back showed him pointing to the legs in question. "That's our ticket there."

~LBR~

"Oh, I see! He's gonna go for a sweep kick and leave him wide open for an Overdrive!" said Lynn. Lincoln had a different idea in mind, however. A quick look at Luan confirmed that she had the same thought; her eyes were an open book. They smiled at each other and looked back at the screen, anticipating the big reveal.

~BT~

"What do his legs have to do with your weapon?" asked Smokey.

In a separate panel with an orange filter and a yellow-starred background, Joseph slapped his thigh. "My legs are in great shape!" he boasted.

"So what are you gonna do, then?" asked Smokey. Joseph said nothing, just staring at the reforming Straizo…

before he turned around and started running with exaggerated arm swings. "RUN AS FAST AS I CAN!" shouted Joseph. "Make way! MOVE! Out of the way!" he yelled at the crowd.

Smokey just stared at his friend's actions in shock before he took off after him. "This guy's insane!" he yelled.

~LBR~

For about five seconds, the only noise from the couch as Lincoln paused the show was Lynn making sounds of confusion and disappointment, none close to actual words. What followed was an uproar of deafening laughter. Lana almost fell off the couch (Hops managed to snag onto her, but she was perpendicular at the time, so it was close). Luna laughed so hard she started coughing uncontrollably, only to laugh even harder. But none were laughing as hard as the lone son and the comedian, who had figured out Joseph's "secret weapon" from the start.

"Hahahahahahaha! I can't believe that he actually did it! What a guy!" said Lincoln as he wiped a tear from his eye.

"Yeah, clearly the man running AWAY from the freaky monster is the crazy one!" laughed Luan. It took quite a while for everyone to calm down and catch their breath, but they finally managed to get back to the show.

~BT~

Back inside the cafe, the mostly healed Straizo jumped into a hole in the ceiling.

'Come on,' thought Joseph as he looked behind him, still running through the New York streets. 'Follow me, Straizo.'

"Hey, wait up!" shouted Smokey as he desperately attempted to keep up with Joseph. "JOJO!"

As they ran away, Joseph trying to lead Straizo away from the civilians and Smokey trying to stay with the only one who had a chance of killing that monster, Straizo slinked out of the building. He was clinging to the walls like a lizard, hidden in the shadows. "I will make him pay dearly for that. Even though I'm immortal, it'll take some time to regenerate after what he did to me."

~LBR~

"You seemed to heal yourself pretty well just now, seeing as you were a vampire jigsaw puzzle a minute ago," said Lynn.

~BT~

A camera flashed, a blonde woman with a light blue suit jacket and a green sweater smiling as she lowered the camera. "This is a perfect scoop! The papers will be falling all over themselves!" she bragged as the camera moved up the wall, Straizo climbing down to the wannabe journalist. "This is my chance to break into big-time journalism!"

~LBR~

"'That maniac blew up Irene's?! Where the heck can I get a decent coffee for cheap now? I tell ya, this whole city is a pain in my butt!'" shouted Luan, imitating an angry newspaper editor as she banged her fist on her thigh. "'And where on Earth is Parker with those photos of Spider-Man?!'"

~BT~

Straizo grabbed one of the window frames, pulling off a small chunk of brick. A small text box appeared in the lower left corner of the screen with Japanese text printed on it. "Pressure applied by fingertips: 235 kilograms per centimeter squared," read the narrator as Straizo crushed the rock into dust with just his thumb pressing against his index finger.

~LBR~

"That's crazy strong, right?" Lana asked Lynn.

"Forget strong, that's beyond superhuman," replied Lynn in shock. "I can only dream of reaching that!"

~BT~

The shutterbug gasped as she heard the sound of the shattering brick. When she looked up, however, nothing was there. Another shot revealed that Straizo had leapt off the wall and was now heading to the other side of the street, eyes on the woman. "Leaping ability: currently four meters, 22 centimeters," read the narrator as another stat box appeared.

The camera cut to the woman's face as Straizo landed behind her, the sound of shattering glass and crumpling metal alerting her as he landed on a car. "It's behind me, isn't it?" she asked as Straizo stood up, the scene fading to black on his bloody body.

~LBR~

"Well, she's dead. Glad we got to know her for half a minute," said Luna.

~BT~

The next scene was on the Brooklyn Bridge, a few shots getting closer before showing Joseph and Smokey. They had stopped running, Smokey catching his breath while Joseph looked no worse for wear. "Huff…huff…huff…we should be safe by now, right?" wondered Smokey.

"I'm afraid not, Smokey," said Joseph. "Do you hear that?"

Smokey stood upright and held out a hand in confusion. "Do I hear what, JoJo? Only thing I hear is the river."

"No, not that!" shouted Joseph as he turned around. "Look up!" On the bridge support was Straizo, holding the photographer. She let out a few gasps of fear before he put two fingers into her mouth, gagging her and causing her to let out stifled screams.

~LBR~

"Not liking this, really not liking this," said Lana as she tried to back up.

~BT~

"Gah! He followed us here!" screamed Smokey. "Run, JoJo, run!"

"I would not do that if I were you," said Straizo. "Run away and I'll kill her right here! But come up and meet me, and I will let her go!"

"What sort of threat is that?" asked Joseph as he pointed at the hostage. "I don't even know who that woman is, you moron!"

~LBR~

"Our hero, everybody!" said Luan.

"This dude is the total opposite of Jonathan," said Luna. "When he saw Erina being bullied, he ran to help her even though he got his butt kicked. But now Joseph is faced with a more dangerous situation if he refuses and says he won't just because he doesn't know her."

"But he also protected Smokey from those cops even after he was robbed by him," said Lynn.

"He's also a master of trickery," said Lincoln as he unpaused the show. "He's probably bluffing so he can take Straizo by surprise!"

~BT~

"JoJo, let's run!" urged Smokey.

"Whether you know this woman or not is inconsequential," said Straizo. "If you flee now, I'll know just what sort of man you are. Rather than pursue you, I could use this time to heal myself, for a true coward would not seek revenge for Speedwagon."

Joseph glared at Straizo as the camera cut back to the vampire, panning up his body and that of his hostage. "However, if you were to come up here after a girl you don't even know, then I'll see that you are both courageous and powerful!" Straizo stuck his fingers further into her mouth, causing her to drool and gag as she cried in fear. "Which means you'll present a real threat, and continue to pursue me into the future, and I would therefore have to eliminate you, here and now!" A shot of Straizo's piercing red eyes took up the screen before it pulled back to Joseph and Smokey. "I'll kill her regardless!"

The camera zoomed across the support before closing in on Straizo. "Fight me or run! DECIDE!" he demanded as the camera went into his eye. In the reflection, Joseph stared at the vampire while menacing sound effects appeared beside him. He grunted before the screen froze, a blue filter covering it as the show's logo appeared.

~LBR~

"So he either runs to safety and lets Straizo run free, or risks his life fighting an immortal monster," said Lynn. "Pretty lousy choices."

"But if he lets Straizo go, what'll happen to Erina?" asked Lana. "That creep is targeting her too!"

"You've got a point, Lans," said Lynn. "Besides, I want to see this fight to the end!"

"Glad you've got your priorities straight," laughed Lincoln.

"Oh, and you don't just wanna see the fight too?" accused Lynn, Lincoln shrugging in admittance.

~BT~

The episode resumed on the cloudy night, spotlights shining through as the camera lowered onto the bridge. There was a brief shot of Smokey and Joseph staring at Straizo, and one of the former monk with the journalist. The camera panned down to a shot behind Joseph before cutting to an angle in front of him.

Joseph closed his eyes and threw a hand in the air, his other hand on his hip. "Bah! Go ahead and do what you think you need to do, Straizo," said Joseph. "I wouldn't fight for that floozy even if I was married to her!"

"Are you certain that this is the type of game you wish to play?" asked Straizo, taking the fingers out of her mouth and sticking two fingers from his other hand in. His first hand held onto her face to keep her from squirming.

~LBR~

"I dunno, he is the game master, after all," said Luna.

"Roll credits!" said Luan.

~BT~

"It would be so easy to tear through her neck and open up her chest cavity with just two fingers." The woman cried when she heard Straizo, panicking.

Joseph gasped as he heard Straizo's thinly-veiled threats, leaning his arm on the edge of the bridge. He let out a soft laugh as he looked to the river below. Sweat poured down his face, his bluff to get Straizo away from the woman failing miserably. "A true master of Tibetan Hamon would never do such a thing," he said as he tried to play off his fear. "Such gratuitous cruelty would be unseemly!"

*CRACK*

Straizo twisted his fingers, then pulled them out of his captive's mouth. In between his index and middle fingers was something small. He flicked it away, revealing it to be a molar he had ripped from the woman's mouth. As the tooth flew towards the camera, it caused a transition to a color shift. Joseph's outfit and hair were the same as the previous shift while Smokey's were the same colors. They both watched the tooth clatter against the bridge, the scene cutting to a further shot as the journalist shrieked in pain and terror. Joseph's expression turned to shock as he was covered in a red and purple filter, her screams echoing in his ears.

~LBR~

"Ooh, that hurt just to watch," said Lana as she held a hand to the side of her mouth. "I hate going to the dentist already!"

~BT~

"That…that was a tooth!" exclaimed Smokey. "He just ripped it right out of her mouth!"

"Just despicable," said Joseph with wavering eyes. "This bastard has no conscience!"

"Consider that your last warning," said Straizo, once more sporting light brown hair.

Joseph took his hand out of his pocket and clenched it into a tight fist, the veins in the back bulging as his fist trembled. "You demonic freak…" Joseph hissed as he grit his teeth so hard, small blue sparks started flying. Jagged sound effects littered the screen as Joseph raised his fist to the sky. "RELEASE HER, STRAIZOOOOO!"

~LBR~

"Now things are getting good!" said Lynn. "No more talking, it's time for a good old-fashioned brawl!"

"Ain't that the tooth!" laughed Luan, her siblings groaning. "Hey, that was perfect!"

~BT~

Techno music began to play as the scene cut to Straizo. His hostage was now sporting the same red and light green color scheme as the heroes. The scene cut back to Joseph as he gripped his jacket. Suddenly, he pulled on the shoulder. Rather than taking off the outfit, he had ripped it to shreds, leaving only his now baby blue undershirt and chunks of the sleeves. "You'll pay for that!" he screamed as the torn fabric fell around his feet.

~LBR~

"Man, JoJo's ripped!" said Luan as she leaned closer. "Get it?"

"Uh-huh," said Luna, the two temporarily mesmerized by the action and Joseph's build.

"Pfft, teenagers," scoffed Lynn without a hint of sarcasm. Lincoln and Lana quickly exchanged a look, but didn't say anything.

~BT~

Joseph jumped onto the support and pointed at Straizo. "You're a vile, inhuman abomination!" he shouted.

"Your act of playing it calm belied the fire we see in you now," said Straizo as he dropped the woman onto the support.

Joseph took a step forward, the metal reverberating as he tore off his sleeves. "Let's skip the pretty speeches! Now you're mine!"

~LBR~

"I can't believe how fast he turned into Lynn," said Lincoln.

"Hey, if that's your best idea of an insult, I'll take it," said Lynn. "I'd kill for a body like that."

~BT~

Straizo turned away, grunting. He snapped his head back to face Joseph. "Take this!" he shouted as he fired his Space Ripper Stingy Eyes.

"OH NO!" shouted Joseph as over the top as possible, the blasts streaking towards him. But once again, the Hamon user was prepared for this technique as he pulled out two shot glasses from the cafe. He held one against his forehead and one against his neck, the same spots where Straizo shot his reflection. "Fool me once, then shame on me. But unfortunately for you, Straizo, you'll never be able to fool me twice!" Yellow sparks surrounded the small glass. "Hamon!"

The scene went into slow motion for a moment to get a better look at Joseph's trick. As one of the eye blasts raced towards a shot glass, golden ripples pulsed from it. The blast ran along the inner edge of the glass before hitting the bottom and shooting right back out. Time flowed normally as panels of Smokey and Straizo gasping in shock appeared. The reflected blast tore through the air and struck its own user, a hole being blown right through Straizo's skull. A brief far away shot with a red filter showed him staggering as the blast pierced his brain. The other blast pierced Jonathan's shoulder instead, causing him to flinch and turn his body. Luckily, nothing vital was hit.

"That's im… ah…" muttered Straizo as blood oozed from his wound.

"Now you'll say, "That's impossible!'" predicted Joseph.

"That's impossible…" muttered Straizo as he fell onto his back.

"I deflected your shot with a little Hamon shot glass!" said Joseph. "I was pretty sure you'd go for my forehead again. Predictability can be quite the fatal flaw." Straizo just groaned before righting himself.

~LBR~

"You rock, JoJo!" cheered Lana. "Straizo didn't even stand a chance!"

~BT~

Furious at having been outsmarted, Straizo ran towards Joseph and jumped into the air. He let out some sort of war cry as he dove towards Joseph, any and all strategy replaced with a blind rage. Joseph remained relatively calm, at least on the outside, as he took a breath to build his Hamon.

"Give my best to Speedwagon…" said Joseph as he pulled back a Hamon-covered fist, "IN HELL!"

Joseph's punch landed, his fist slamming into Straizo's face. The vampire grunted in pain, his left eye and the surrounding area dissolving. "Granny should be able to sleep well tonight," said Joseph. "Finally…"

~LBR~

"WOOHOO!" cheered Lynn. "That was awesome! No coming back as a head for this vampire! JoJo has him down for the count!"

"Back as a head?" asked Luan.

"Yeah, that happened," said Lincoln.

"I guess some things are better off unseen," said Luan.

~BT~

As the color shift ended, Straizo was sent careening through the air, flying limply like a rag doll. Just before he fell past the bridge and into the river, he managed to grab onto the metal side. Small holes were punched into the structure by his fingers, giving him a small grip. It wasn't enough, however. The shallow holes and Straizo's fading strength made him slip. But just as he fell, two strong hands wrapped around his wrist. Joseph had stopped his fall. The only noise that could be heard was the wind as Straizo looked at the man he lost to, confused.

~LBR~

"What the heck is this? Why's JoJo saving Straizo after all he did?" wondered Luna. "Even Jonathan didn't do the same to Dio."

~BT~

"Why would you try to save me from falling?" asked Straizo. "Aren't you frightened that I still possess enough power in me to blow your arm clean off?"

"I'd like to see you try that," threatened Joseph. "I'll just pummel you into fertilizer with my remaining arm."

~LBR~

"And he'll probably use his blown-off arm like a club for good measure," joked Lincoln.

~BT~

"I want some answers, Straizo!" said Joseph. "Tell me, why did you throw Speedwagon's body into the river? Something here just doesn't add up!"

"Joseph, your grandfather Jonathan's blood flows through you!" said Straizo. "From the outside, you appear to be opposites, but you're both insatiably curious! And now, it is my pleasure to warn you that your nature has trapped you, in a fate you cannot hope to escape!"

Joseph flinched a little, but his grip remained like iron. "What are you talking about?"

"Soon, you shall learn of him!" shouted Straizo. "Of the Pillar Man! And then you shall finally come face to face with him!"

~LBR~

"I knew it!" said Lincoln. "I knew that guy was still alive!"

"Pillar Man, huh? Pretty basic, but catchy," said Luan.

"Hey, nothing wrong with a simple name!" said Lana. "Ain't that right, buddy?" Hops gave a croak of approval from inside her overalls pocket.

~BT~

"Oh, shut up!" snapped Joseph. "I'm done decoding your rubbish, Straizo!"

"But I threw the bodies into the river because of him! Don't you see, fool?" As Straizo spoke, the camera moved away from his face and into total darkness. The stone floor of the ruins came into view as a light sucking noise could be heard. "The pillar sucked deeply of the blood from those bodies in the cave!" said Straizo as the camera panned over one of Speedwagon's dead workers, his blood trailing towards the pillar. "It was like a plant ravenously drawing in nutrients!"

~LBR~

"Okay, that's pretty creepy," admitted Luna.

~BT~

The scene transitioned to a shot of the pillar in question. "It was ghastly, so I dragged the bodies outside! But I have no doubts now that he will soon awaken from his two thousand year slumber!" The scene cut back to Straizo as he took a deep breath, a familiar ringing audible.

~LBR~

"Wait, was that Hamon?" asked Lynn. "Why would he use it when he's a vampire? He'd just fry himself!"

"I've got the feeling that's exactly what he has in mind," said Lincoln.

~BT~

"Not to worry," said Straizo, "it is fated that you shall meet him very soon. And when that time comes, you shall learn his identity and the true meaning of evolution! Your destiny has already been written!"

Joseph gasped at what happened next. Several holes burst in Straizo's body, bright light shining out of them like spotlights. It was as if his body was storing some sort of energy that it couldn't hold, and said energy was leaking out. "Is that Hamon?" he asked as more and more holes opened up. "So that means… you must've been creating Hamon inside your own body!"

"There is nothing I regret, Joseph," said Straizo as the hole where his eye had been began widening. "All this time, I planned on entering hell while still vibrant and filled with energy, not as some withered, desiccated corpse! I cannot tell you the ecstasy that I have felt in being young again!"

"Straizo, wait! Not yet! I need to know more!" But Joseph's pleas fell on deaf ears as the arm he was holding broke off.

"Farewell to you, JoJo!" shouted Straizo as he plummeted to the river. He never hit the water as he exploded into a dazzling display of light, his arm that Joseph was still clutching breaking into chunks before completely disintegrating. Joseph tried in vain to grab the pieces, but it was useless.

~LBR~

"Dang…" said Lynn. "He really did waste himself."

"Even to the end, all he wanted was to be young," said Lana.

"Too bad he had to lose his marbles along the way," said Luna.

~BT~

Joseph kept looking down, trembling. "JoJo…" said Smokey, concerned. With a cry of rage, Joseph pounded his chest like a gorilla. His cries of anguish echoed through the night.

~LBR~

"Pffffhahahaha! No way can I take that seriously! He looks so hilarious doing that!" laughed Luan, clutching her stomach. Her siblings admitted it was a little funny, but none of them laughed nearly as loud as she did.

~BT~

The scene changed to morning as a military-sounding song started playing. A fleet of warplanes was shown flying over the ocean. "1938," said the narrator as the image froze, flickering as if it were on a film reel. "The Second World War rages, threatening to engulf more nations around the globe with each passing day." The image changed to several shots of battlefields, military forces, loading bays with powerful weaponry, and even what looked like a cult meeting. "As the German army grows, it seeks to conquer the world with technology and weapons that stand at the very cutting edge of science! However, they also research astrology, sorcery, alchemy, and psychic powers! They seek to gain advantages through every manner imaginable in their quest for global domination!"

~LBR~

"Why the sudden history lesson?" asked Lana.

"Yeah, I know it's World War 2 at the time of the story, but what the heck does any of this have to do with JoJo?" wondered Lincoln.

"Did he say, 'every advantage?'" asked Luna as a realization hit her like a ton of bricks. "Dudes, you don't think-"

"Oh, MAN," said Lynn as she put a hand to her forehead.

"They just might be crazy enough," said Luan.

~BT~

The scene changed to a large building, a hacienda, in a scorching desert, nothing but cacti in the blazing hot sands around it. A small caption appeared, reading "Mexico." "And it was through this tenacity that one of their spy networks in Mexico caught wind of Straizo's actions." A cut to the inside behind the stone wall showed off more of the base. It was built like a fortress from the outside with thick walls, but the inside had a garden with a palm tree and a statue. It looked less like a base of operations and more like a villa, one that had likely been raided by the German army.

A woman could be heard gasping as the scene changed again, this time to one of the rooms. Somebody was holding a razor, and there was a man with a thin cut on his cheek. Blood slowly dripped from his wound as the razor shook, a cut revealing that it was held by a dark-skinned woman in a white gown. "I'm… I'm so terribly sorry, Major von Stroheim," apologized the woman, apparently a servant of this major.

~LBR~

"So we're going from English vampires, to Tibetan vampires, and now apparently Nazi vampires and rock vampires?" asked Lynn. She was silent for a moment, nobody replying. "Eh, works for me, I guess."

"That was… anticlimactic," said Lincoln. "I thought you were gonna yell at the screen and tell them to slow down."

"Hey, as long as we get some awesome fights, nothing can weird me out," said Lynn.

"I'm gonna hold you to that!" said Luan.

~BT~

"My hand, it just slipped!" said the servant. As she desperately tried excusing her slip-up, an aerial panning of the room provided a better view of the layout, as well as the major. The floor was light red with a maroon crosshair shape in the center. Two other women in the same outfit as the shaver were standing beside a small table with a water basin and an ashtray. And sitting in a red velvet wooden chair with his feet on a similar ottoman was the major. He had a blonde crew cut that became wider as it became taller, with a small amount of hair in the back like a mullet. He wore a pair of sunglasses, a white cloth around his neck to catch any hairs while he was shaved, and a green army uniform with black boots. The jacket was unbuttoned, revealing an impressive six-pack. "I don't know what happened!"

The major, Stroheim, lowered his shades to the tip of his nose. His gray eyes gave the woman a look of mild disdain. "Lick it."

"Ah?!" gasped the servant.

"You drew blood from me, no?" asked Stroheim in a thick German accent as he pointed to his cut. "Don't make me order you to lick my wound clean."

"Y-Yes, sir," said the woman, Stroheim smirking as she licked the blood.

~LBR~

"Well, this is creepy," said Lana.

"No argument from this side of the couch," said Luna.

~BT~

Stroheim leaned in as she licked his wound, the other servants watching in fear. "Gently now. I know you wouldn't want to hurt me again," said Stroheim. "Good. Slowly now, slowly." The other servants looked at each other. "Mm, I think the pain is going away. Now…"

The woman soon found the razor blade under her tongue. She gasped as she tried to avoid moving it, lest she split the bottom of her tongue open. "Be careful now!" teased Stroheim as he moved the razor up and down. "Careful now! Don't cut your tongue!" He laughed as he continued pushing the razor.

~LBR~

"He's already a literal Nazi. You don't need to show just how much of a jerk this Guile look-alike is," said Lincoln.

"I have the feeling that the main reason why he's all the way out in Mexico is that the rest of the German military didn't want anything to do with that kind of crazy," added Luan. "Because this really isn't funny."

~BT~

"Pardon my interruption, Major von Stroheim!" shouted another officer, giving a Nazi salute in the doorway.

"Hm?" Stroheim stopped laughing and turned to the newcomer. He also moved the razor away from his servant's tongue, causing her to fall to her knees and put a hand over her mouth.

"The old man found on the bank of the Rio Dada! He is now awake, Major von Stroheim!" The scene cut to a familiar scarred face in a hospital bed, his head bandaged and a blood bag nearby. He slowly opened his eyes. "Shall we interrogate, sir?"

~LBR~

"Wait, old man on a riverbank? Alive?!" Lana threw her hands in the air. "YES! By all that's good and filthy, Speedwagon's alive! I knew it! I knew it!" She started doing a happy dance on the couch arm, until she saw all her older siblings giving her weird looks. "What? Just let me have this!"

"Whatever floats your boat, squirt," said Lynn with a shrug, letting Lana finish her little dance. "I'm glad he's alive too."

"Just wish it was under better circumstances," said Lincoln.

~BT~

The scene cut to early morning in New York. Joseph and Smokey were off the bridge, trying to console the reporter. "Are you alright, miss?" asked Joseph. "Can you tell me your name? Allow me to escort you home." He then looked perplexed before her fist came in contact with his face.

~LBR~

"Ouch, been there before," said Lincoln, giving a few light glares at his sisters. "And all he did was offer to take her home."

"Look on the bright side, bro!" said Luna. "You're better with the ladies than JoJo!"

~BT~

"Why in the hell did you do THAT?!" snapped Joseph.

"You've got some nerve calling me a floozy, you big brute!" yelled the reporter, brandishing a fist. "Just who do you think you are anyway, huh?!"

~LBR~

"Just the guy who SAVED YOUR FREAKING LIFE," said Lynn.

~BT~

"What? I never said that," said Joseph in earnest, having already forgotten what he had said when he was bluffing.

"No, you did," said Smokey, quick to refresh Joseph's memory. "You said that you would never fight for a floozy like her."

"Really?" asked Joseph, turning to his friend. He turned back to the reporter with an embarrassed smile and a hand on the back of his neck. "Wow, I didn't mean it. I'm really sorry about that, it just happened, kinda."

The woman responded to his apology with a kick to the ankle, causing Joseph to cry out in pain and crouch down to hold his leg. "Yeah, I'm sure it 'just happens' every time you talk about a woman!" snapped the reporter.

~LBR~

"Ooh, burn," said Luan with a smirk.

~BT~

Joseph grunted in pain before looking up at the journalist. "Your mouth okay?"

The woman was briefly covered in a pink filter before she put her hands to her face and screamed, catching Smokey off guard.

~LBR~

"What's with her? Was that line really that bad?" asked Lincoln.

"She did get a tooth ripped out of her mouth," said Lana with a shrug. "Maybe he hit a nerve or something."

~BT~

Joseph sighed as he stood up. He crossed his right arm over his left, his right hand in front of his face. "Looks like the adrenaline from her fear just wore off. Now it's time to find out about this 'Pillar Man' Straizo was talking about." The camera cut to a closer shot of Joseph. "I can't wait to see Mexico."

~LBR~

"Looks like this part is gonna have some globetrotting," said Luna. "Sweet!"

~BT~

The scene cut to an aerosol can being sprayed. It was revealed to be bug spray, Stroheim using it on a few flies that were buzzing around. His jacket was now properly buckled, and he had traded the shades for a cap showing his rank. He was in a metal room with windows sealed behind heavy steel doors. As he sprayed the pests, he accidentally got some of the pesticide in his mouth.

The scene panned over a sink as he choked on the insect killer, going back to the major as he coughed with a hand on his neck. The focus on him faded to something on a bed, a panning shot revealing it to be Speedwagon bound by a full-body straitjacket.

~LBR~

"Guess the label was right. It works on all kinds of pests," joked Lincoln.

~BT~

"*cough* *hack* How are you feeling, Speedwagon?" asked Stroheim, finally getting the awful taste out of his mouth and regaining his composure. "There is a saying in Europe that comes to mind." The camera cut from Speedwagon to a shot of the bed, revealing a couple doctors and soldiers surrounding the businessman alongside Stroheim. "'The village in which the elderly kill each other is not long for this world.'"

~LBR~

"What kind of a saying is that? And what does that have to do with this?" asked Lynn.

"I have no idea," said Luna, rubbing her head in confusion.

"Maybe he has a bunch of old men on standby to beat Speedwagon to a pulp if he won't talk, but he really doesn't want to do that," suggested Luan.

~BT~

Stroheim uncrossed his arms and started walking away. "You have a secret! A secret that is very dangerous and could kill us all!" He pushed a button, the loud sounds of machinery starting up as the whole room started shaking. Stroheim pulled his can of bug spray out again and started spraying the flies as the doors in front of the windows slowly opened. Once they were fully open, a white light shining from them and gray "menacing" sound effects floating around, Stroheim gestured to himself with his thumb. "I want answers NOW!"

A panel of Speedwagon with a green filter appeared, gasping in shock. The light died down to reveal a familiar slumbering face encased in stone. The German army had dug up the Pillar Man, encasing him in a room with pipes leading to the stone column.

~LBR~

"They really did," said Luna. "They have the Pillar Man."

"And here I thought the ones in Indiana Jones were stupid," said Lincoln.

"How did they even get it out of the ruins? It's huge!" pointed out Lana.

"Dynamite?" suggested Lynn, only half joking.

~BT~

"There appears to be a man trapped inside this pillar," said Stroheim. "We extracted it from the location we got from you."

Speedwagon struggled to get out of his bindings. "Why, God? Why do this to me?" he asked. "Why couldn't you just have let me die back there?! Why did you make me live?!"

~LBR~

"Poor Speedwagon," said Luan.

"I haven't seen him this scared since what happened to Zeppeli," said Lynn. "Whatever the Pillar Man is just might be worse than Dio."

~BT~

"It wasn't God," said Stroheim. "At least, not your god. I was the one who made you live." He held a hand to the brim of his hat before snapping his fingers. "But I can change that." The scene changed to a doctor wheeling a cart over. On the cart was a syringe with a purple liquid inside. "The Wehrmacht would like some information from you, before anything drastic happens!" Speedwagon gasped when he saw the syringe.

~LBR~

"Oh man, a shot! I hate getting shots!" said Lana.

"I don't think that's medicine in there," said Lincoln.

~BT~

"You are stubborn, old man," said Stroheim. "I'm smart enough to know that torture alone would not give us what we want out of you! I also know that you were penniless when you first got to Texas. You were nearly dead in the desert when you found the oil fields that would soon cause a massive overhaul of the world's economy." The major smirked as he held the brim of his hat. "Get ready! German medicine is the greatest thing in the world, don't you think?! We can do anything!"

~LBR~

"Can you make cough syrup that doesn't taste like barf?" asked Luna. "Didn't think so."

~BT~

"A truth serum? For what?" asked Speedwagon. "What more could you possibly want from me?"

"EVERYTHING!" said the major. "I want to know it all! Give me a history lesson! Tell me about Straizo, and about this Joestar!" The scene cut to the Pillar Man with a sting. "Tell us so that we can finally awaken the Pillar Man!"

"No, no! You can't! You don't know the forces you're playing with!" begged Speedwagon. "He's powerful enough to destroy us all!" Stroheim just gargled a glass of water, not heeding any of Speedwagon's warnings in the slightest.

~LBR~

"Hahahaha! Oh man, for such a jerk, this guy is ridiculous!" laughed Luna.

"'He'll destroy us all! Destroy us all! Destroy us—' ow!" joked Luan until Lynn flicked her in the side of the head. "Hands to yourself!"

"There was no way I was gonna let you keep doing that," said Lynn, frowning.

~BT~

Stroheim spat his water into the sink. "Make the necessary preparations for the blood feeding experiment," ordered Stroheim. "And don't screw anything up!"

The scene cut to a group of Mexican prisoners inside a cage, likely the citizens of the base before Stroheim and his lackeys took over the hacienda. They all had torn clothing and were cowering.

"Help us! Let us out!"

"I'll do anything, please!"

~LBR~

"Okay, raise your hand if you're uncomfortable," said Luan. Five hands shot into the air at supersonic speed. "Thought so."

~BT~

Stroheim looked over his captives with a calculating expression. "I have a proposal for you. Go ahead and choose someone from among yourselves."

~LBR~

"'Whoever can beat me in checkers vill live to see another day," said Lana in quite possibly the worst German accent anybody had heard.

~BT~

The prisoners gasped at his words. "We need blood for a very important historic experiment. Once you have all agreed on who will be the one to sacrifice his life, we will grant the rest of you your freedom immediately."

The prisoners started whispering amongst themselves, discussing what to do. But a boy in a blue shirt had already made up his mind. "Me! I volunteer for it!"

"Huh?" Stroheim was caught off guard not only by the swift decision, but the fact that this young boy, no older than thirteen, was ready to give up his life for the others.

"If I do your experiment, you promise that you'll let everyone else go, right?"

~LBR~

"The courage of this kid," said Lynn, impressed. "Gotta give him props."

~BT~

Stroheim smirked. "You are quite brave." He held out his hand in a salute. "Courage like yours is a thing that must be cultivated like a lush garden." He put his hand around the boy. "Here, we allow only the most fit to live." The boy lowered his raised fists, confused by the sudden kindness of the man who overtook their homes.

"Set the boy aside," ordered Stroheim, "and execute everyone else." All of the prisoners, including the boy who wanted to save everybody, were petrified by his words.

~LBR~

"Holy crap," said Luna. "That's… that's AWFUL."

"This guy is some serious bad news," said Lincoln. "Hopefully JoJo can knock some sense into him."

~BT~

An upbeat song started as a trail of dust tore through the desert. The tires of a motorcycle were rolling along the stone as smooth as silk, its rider being one Joseph Joestar. He jumped off a small sand dune as he drove the red motorcycle through the heat. He had changed into a yellow vest, brown and red fingerless gloves, brown and green pants, black boots, and a maroon aviator hat. He had a pair of goggles on and a red backpack.

~LBR~

"Cool, JoJo's got a hog!" said Lana. "That engine sounds like a dream!"

~BT~

As Joseph sped through the desert to find the Pillar Man, a figure in a tan cloak perched on a cactus. The figure smirked before licking a segmented dagger.

~LBR~

"Looks like he's gonna have his hands full even before he gets to the base," said Luan.

~BT~

The scene cut to the base, several scientists in front of control panels while facing the Pillar Man. Stroheim was saluting the stone prison. "Let the experiment… begin!" The camera closed in on the pillar, a sickening slurping sound coming from it. Right before the "To Be Continued" arrow appeared, a hole burst in the pillar as a splash of blood came out.

~LBR~

"Well, that's ominous," said Lincoln. "This was a good one."

"You bet it was! Speedwagon made it!" cheered Luna.

"And the fight between JoJo and Straizo was so cool! JoJo is awesome!" cheered Lana.

"And now it's time to see what the Pillar Man can do!" said Lynn, balling her fists and grinning ear to ear. "This fight is gonna be sweet!" And with that, the five listened to Roundabout while waiting for the next episode.


Happy holidays, everybody! This was a fun chapter to write reactions for, and I hope that you all enjoy! Now onto guest reviews!

Bruuh: That's... a little weird, but you're welcome!

Bruuh (again): Keep in mind that I don't have a set update schedule. Each chapter is released when it's finished. No sooner, no later.

Mudad: We haven't reached the Aztec stripper dubstep quite yet, but it isn't much longer!

See you all next time when the Pillar Man awakens! Starpion out!