"Attention, Duelists!" said Sensei's Hair. "For those of you who didn't already have Duel Monsters decks, you should have found some starter decks tailored to your unique personalities waiting for you at your dorm rooms last night, along with your very own duel disks. Today, you will be practicing dueling against experienced duelists. But first, My Hair will teach you about card limits. You are allowed up to 3 cards with the same name in your deck. However, some cards are considered so powerful that you're only allowed 1 or 2 copies. Some cards are so OP that you aren't even allowed to use them at all. My Hair will now pass around a list of the names of all cards that are forbidden, limited to 1, or semi-limited to 2."

"Hang on," said Yuzu, looking at the list. "Butterfly Dagger – Elma is forbidden! That means Petelgeuse cheated!"

Butterfly Dagger – Elma
[Spell Card (Equip)]
The equipped monster gains 300 ATK. When this card is destroyed and sent to the Graveyard while equipped: You can return this card to the hand.

"You met Petlgeuse?" said Subaru. "That insane monster whose brain is always trembling?"

"Come to think of it," said Yuzu, "Petelgeuse mentioned you. Despite how much he hated you, he had a few cards in his deck that looked just like you and Emilia. At least you two aren't on the forbidden/limited list."

"Trust me," said Subaru, "cheating at card games is the least of Petelgeuse's problems."

"Excuse me," said Emilia. "What does Pot of Greed do?"

Skipping this

The classroom was too small for Solid Vision duels, so Class 1 went outside to the courtyard instead.

"Um, I activate my t-trap card, Trap Trope," stuttered Mare Bello Fiore while dueling against Sawatari. "It s-special summons itself as a t-trap monster!" Mare's trap monster's solid vision image looked exactly like Mare himself. It was even wearing the same effeminate clothing.

Trap Trope
[Trap Card (Continuous)]
Special Summon this card as a Normal Monster (Fairy/DARK/Level 3/ATK 1000/DEF 1000). (This card is also still a Trap Card.) If this face-up card is sent from the field to the GY, you may activate it from your GY during the next Standby Phase.

Meanwhile, in a nearby duel between Gongenzaka Noboru and Mare's twin sister, Aura Bello Fiore…

"I activate my face-down trap card, Reverse Trap Trope!" said Aura confidently. "This lets me Special Summon a token that looks just like me! Then it resets itself face-down on my field."

Reverse Trap Trope
[Trap Card]
Activate only if you don't control any monster tokens. Special Summon 1 "Tomboy Token" (Warrior/DARK/Level 3/ATK 1000/DEF 1000). After that, Set this card face-down instead of sending it to the GY.

"My eyes are up here, Kazuma!" said Asuka angrily.

"Right! I knew that," said Kazuma, wiping the drool from his mouth and the blood from his nose. "Let's see… wow, Sensei's Hair wasn't kidding when he said these decks were tailored to us. I activate the Spell Card, Steal!"

Steal!
[Spell Card]
Excavate the top card from your opponent's deck and add it to your hand.

Kazuma reached out his hand, which started glowing. A card physically vanished from the top of Asuka's deck, then rematerialized in Kazuma's hand.

"Let's see what I got here… Machine Angel Ritual?" said Kazuma, his confidence vanishing.

Machine Angel Ritual
[Spell Card (Ritual)]
This card can be used to Ritual Summon any "Cyber Angel" Ritual Monster. You must also Tribute monsters from your hand or field whose total Levels equal or exceed the Level of the Ritual Monster you Ritual Summon. If a LIGHT monster(s) you control would be destroyed by battle or card effect while this card is in your Graveyard, you can banish this card instead.

"I don't suppose you have any Cyber Angel monsters in your hand?" said Asuka.

"I don't even have them in my deck! Let's try this again. Steal!"

Nothing happened.

"Do you have another copy of Steal! in your hand?" asked Asuka.

"Usually I don't need it!" said Kazuma. "This is a skill that Chris taught me outside the card game!"

"Taking control of your opponent's cards is cheating," said Asuka, "unless a card effect says otherwise."

"Fine," grumbled Kazuma. "I have 2 more copies of Steal! somewhere in my deck. For now, I set a card face-down, then I set a monster face-down in defense position and end my turn."

"I draw!" said Asuka, who now had 6 cards in her hand. "I summon Cyber Petit Angel, allowing me to add Machine Angel Ritual from my deck to my hand."

Cyber Petit Angel
LIGHT / Level 2
[Fairy/Effect]
If this card is Summoned: You can add 1 "Cyber Angel" monster or "Machine Angel Ritual" from your Deck to your hand. You can only use this effect of "Cyber Petit Angel" once per turn.
ATK: 300 / DEF: 200

"I take it you have 3 copies of that Ritual Spell Card in your deck?" said Kazuma.

"Yes I do," said Asuka. "And those are just the ones with the same name. I have a total of 9 Ritual Spell Cards. Three of them are Sprite's Blessing, one of which is in my hand. This lets me Ritual Summon literally any Light-attribute Ritual Monster from my hand, as long as the total levels of the tributes are exactly equal to the level that I'm Ritual Summoning. And for the record, EVERY Cyber Angel is Light-attribute."

Sprite's Blessing
[Spell Card (Ritual)]
This card can be used to Ritual Summon any LIGHT Ritual Monster. You must also Tribute monsters from your hand or field whose total Levels exactly equal the Level of the Ritual Monster you Ritual Summon.

"I tribute Level 2 Cyber Petit Angel from my field and Level 6 Cyber Angel Benten from my hand," said Asuka, "in order to Ritual Summon Cyber Angel Izana!"

Cyber Angel Benten
LIGHT / Level 6
[Fairy/Ritual/Effect]
You can Ritual Summon this card with "Machine Angel Ritual". If this card destroys a monster by battle and sends it to the GY: Inflict damage to your opponent equal to that monster's original DEF in the GY. If this card is Tributed: You can add 1 LIGHT Fairy monster from your Deck to your hand.
ATK: 1800 / DEF: 1500

Cyber Angel Izana
LIGHT / Level 8
[Fairy/Ritual/Effect]
You can Ritual Summon this card with "Machine Angel Ritual". If this card is Ritual Summoned: You can make your opponent send 1 Spell/Trap they control to the GY. When this attacking card destroys an opponent's monster by battle and sends it to the GY: You can activate this effect; this card can make a second attack on an opponent's monster in a row. Once per turn, when your opponent activates a card or effect that targets a "Cyber Angel" Ritual Monster you control (Quick Effect): You can shuffle 1 Ritual Monster from your GY into the Deck, and if you do, destroy 1 card your opponent controls.
ATK: 2500 / DEF: 2600

"Izana's effect forces you to send a Spell or Trap Card from your field to the graveyard. Normally you'd get to choose, but you only have one card to choose from."

"STEAL!" shouted Kazuma.

"Steal! isn't a Quick-Play Spell Card," said Asuka. "You can't activate it during my turn. Also, your face-down card appears to be the Machine Angel Ritual you stole from me. Since I own it, it goes to my graveyard… Hey, wait a minute…" Her face suddenly turned crimson. "Where did my panties go?"

"There are plenty of other things I can steal besides cards," said Kazuma.

"Oh, that does it!" said Asuka lividly. "You're in for a world of pain! Since I tributed Benten, I can add Cyber Angel Idaten from my deck to my hand." This gave her a total of 4 cards in her hand. "Next, I activate Machine Angel Ritual, tributing one Idaten from my hand to Ritual Summon another!"

Cyber Angel Idaten
LIGHT / Level 6
[Fairy/Ritual/Effect]
You can Ritual Summon this card with "Machine Angel Ritual". If this card is Ritual Summoned: You can add 1 Ritual Spell from your Deck or GY to your hand. If this card is Tributed: You can make all Ritual Monsters you control gain 1000 ATK/DEF.
ATK: 1600 / DEF: 2000

"The Idaten in my graveyard gives both Ritual Monsters on my field 1000 extra attack and defense points!" said Asuka, still fuming. Izana's attack points becamse 3500, and Idaten's became 2600. "Furthermore, the Idaten on my field lets me add Machine Angel Absolute Ritual from my deck to my hand!" She now had 2 cards in her hand. "I then activate it, shuffling Level 6 Benten and Level 2 Cyber Petit Angel from my graveyard into my deck, in order to Ritual Summon Level 8 Cyber Angel Daikini!"

Machine Angel Absolute Ritual
[Spell Card (Ritual)]
This card can be used to Ritual Summon any "Cyber Angel" Ritual Monster. You must also Tribute monsters from your hand or field and/or shuffle Fairy or Warrior-Type monsters from your Graveyard into the Deck, whose total Levels exactly equal the Level of the Ritual Monster you Ritual Summon.

Cyber Angel Daikini
Light / Level 8
[Fairy/Ritual/Effect]
You can Ritual Summon this card with "Machine Angel Ritual". If this card is Ritual Summoned: You can make your opponent send 1 monster they control to the GY (their choice). If a Ritual Monster you control attacks a Defense Position monster, inflict piercing battle damage to your opponent. Once per turn, during your End Phase: You can target 1 Ritual Monster or 1 "Machine Angel Ritual" in your GY; add it to your hand.
ATK: 2700 / DEF: 2400

"Daikini's effect forces you to send your only monster on the field to the graveyard," said Asuka, "leaving you wide open for direct attacks from all 3 of my Cyber Angels! Idaten, Izana and Daikini, destroy that pervert!"

Kazuma screamed as he took 8800 points of damage from Asuka's physically painful Real Solid Vision monsters.

"I'll take these back," said Asuka, retrieving her panties.

Later, on the way back to the classroom…

"Vampire vampire vampire," said Aqua, who had witnessed the highlights of the duel between Kazuma and Asuka. "Fake melons vampire fake melons vampire. Vampire vampire fake melons. Fake melons fake melons. Fake melons vamire vampire vampire. Vampire fake melons. Fake melons fake melons vampire."

Meanwhile, in the nurse's office…

Kazuma was recovering from the injuries Asuka had given him. Rem and Shaltear were on staff as nurses.

"Achoo, achoo, achoo," sneezed Shaltear Bloodfallen, the vampire. She then sniffed, then started sneezing all over again. "ACHOO! Achoo. ACHOO! Achoo. (sniff) Achoo, achoo. ACHOO! (sniff) ACHOO! ACHOO! (sniff) ACHOO! Achoo, achoo, achoo. (sniff) Achoo. ACHOO! (sniff) ACHOO! ACHOO! Achoo." She finally stopped sneezing and gasped for breath.

"Did you just sneeze in Morse Code?" asked Kazuma.

"I don't even know what that is!" said Shaltear.

"You really are a scumbag, Kazuma," said Rem the demon-maid, who had also witnessed the reason for Kazuma's injuries.

To be continued…