Had this idea for a while and finally wrote it out. Please forgive any slight discrepancies between this story and the actual Jedi Night episode. I don't have the emotional capacity to watch it so I was working from YouTube clips.


"Ezra? What are you doing out here? I thought you'd be with Kanan."

"That's the last place I want to be right now."

Rex frowned. "Why? He's been out of the tank a couple hours. He's awake, eating. He's alive, Kid."

"Good, because I'm going to kill him!"

The old clone stepped up and placed his hands on Ezra's shoulders firmly. "Alright soldier, what's going on?"

"He put me in charge of this mission and he almost died, that's what's going on! He almost died on my watch."

"Look, believe me when I say I know that feeling. It's never easy to lose someone like that. But he made it. And he hardly planned on dying in the first place."

The young Jedi shrugged off his hands, eyes growing stormy. "That's just it Rex, he did plan on dying. I knew something was off in how he was acting but I was so focused on Hera I missed it. He tries to run off, the Loth-Wolfs stop him, then he up and tells me he can't focus and needs me to plan the entire rescue. It doesn't add up, unless he knew what was coming."

"Didn't he explain all that though? He said-"

Ezra shook his head. "I know what he said. I also know what he felt. His mind was in so much turmoil. I thought it was just because Hera wasn't here, Force knows she's 80% of his impulse control on a good day. But then it all changed. Cutting off his hair. Telling me he's proud of how I know how to listen to the world around me, how it'll carry me through. How the Force will always be with me. It all had a drive behind it. Like he was cleansing himself. Finding a peaceful place within himself so he…he could say goodbye. Rex, he was saying goodbye to me and I didn't… I never would have-"

Strong armor plated arms wrapped around him as a sob worked its way up his throat. He choked it back, drawing a harsh breath in.

"Easy now," a deep voice murmured in his ear. "Take a minute. Just breathe, don't talk."

It took some minutes but Ezra's heart rate gradually slowed. Air worked its way into his lungs once again and Rex's shoulder pauldron cooled the flushed skin of his face.

"There you go," the clone smiled as they pulled apart. "Now then, I learned a long time ago not to doubt the word of my Jedi, but I can't help but wonder how you're so sure about all this. Hasn't Kanan said he's proud of you before? And he's always calm before battle, you both are. That meditation you do or something puts you in some sort of trance. I've always envied it."

The young man swallowed hard. "I..I wish I could explain it. He just…he was too calm. The moment the fuel pod exploded, it was like every move he made was rehearsed. He didn't hesitate to put himself between us and the flames."

"He wouldn't. He's a Jedi, a leader. A father."

"Maybe so, but that doesn't excuse him putting me in charge of a mission he had no intention of coming home from. Did he not think…Rex I never would have forgiven myself. Why would he do that? Does he hate me?"

"No Ezra, he does not hate you. He trusts you."

"Excuse me?!"

"Kanan knew he wouldn't be there to help everyone get away, so he put you in charge of doing it in his place. He knew you were capable of finishing not only that mission, but many more. He knew you could lead the battles he couldn't anymore. And above all he counted on you to take care of his family, your family. There's no greater show of trust a man can give then to put the lives of the people he loves in the hands of someone else." A soft smile touched Rex's lips. "And in my opinion, there is no better choice he could have made."

A few tears rolled down Ezra's cheeks. "We could have found another way. If he'd told me what he'd seen-"

"Maybe, maybe not. Kanan's a lot of things but suicidal is not one of them. I'm sure he did everything he possibly could to avoid leaving you. Maybe your knowing would have changed things for the better, maybe it would have led to one of you dying with him. That would have been the one outcome he would gladly have given his life to avoid. In the end, everyone makes a choice. If he chose to die, he chose to die as he chose to live. Protecting his family."

Ezra sniffed and wiped his face. "When you put it like that it's like you're saying I shouldn't be mad at him."

"Oh no, be mad at him by all means."

"What? You just said-"

Rex chuckled. "Ezra just because you understand someone's choice doesn't mean you have to like it. There's no shame in acknowledging that. When you do see Kanan, I expect you to tell him exactly what you think of him for doing what he did."

"Do you have a map for this conversation? I think I need one."

The captain sobered. "It's been two years and there are still times I want to throttle Ahsoka for staying to fight Vader when she didn't have to. I'll never be able to confront her about it. I can theorize the reasons for her choice, in fact I'm almost certain about them. But I'll never be sure. The way that fact sits in my heart…just be glad you have a chance I don't. Don't waste it. Go to him, tell him how you feel. I'm 99.9% sure he'll let you rant for as long as you need to before he even tries to explain himself."

"What if I'm still not ready for his explanation?"

"Then tell him so. But also give him a hug, tell him you love him, and you'll be back just as soon as you're calm enough to listen. Then go back and listen. If he explains himself well enough, then the opportunity for you two to heal will be there. If not, tell Hera what you told me, making sure Chopper's within earshot and boom. Problem solved."

The laugh that escaped Ezra was brief but genuine. "I'm not quite that angry."

Rex's shoulders relaxed a fraction. He couldn't help comparing Kanan and Ezra with Skywalker and Kenobi from time to time. Particularly in these moments where one may momentarily want to strangle the other but at the same time would protect them with their last breath if need be. A thoroughly confusing line to walk but somehow they managed it. They'd be okay.

"You got a hold of yourself now?"

Ezra closed his eyes and blew out a long breath, then finally nodded. "I should go before he sneaks out of bed to come find me."

"Ah, he would, wouldn't he?"

"Yeah." Ezra agreed, making now attempt to move.

Rex counted to ten before flicking his ear. "Quit delaying. It's not going to make it any easier."

"Right. Yes. Going." He moved to the door before pausing. "Rex."

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

Rex smiled and nodded, watching him go. Maybe he was past his prime, maybe he couldn't fight the way he used to, the way he wanted to. But if he could do nothing else, he could still watch over his Jedi. As long as they survived, hope would survive. And that hope was why they would win. He believed that with all his heart.


Would you want to read a part 2 with the Kanan & Ezra conversation?