Summary: Ezra's had that talk with Kanan. The follow up leads to words they'd never thought they'd say.

I'm emotional right now and that may have bled into this. Hopefully it's still in character. Also this chapter is about 300 words longer than the last one. Not sorry, I can't get enough of writing these two.

To my guest reviewer: I hope you enjoy the bonding! :)


"Where's Hera?"

The voice startled Kanan slightly as he carefully finished his stretching routine. He hadn't expected Ezra back quite so soon. Settling down on his cot with his back against the wall he answered. "Negotiating the terms of my release."

"Those poor med droids."

They both chuckled and Kanan held out his hand, motioning the other closer. Ezra swallowed but slowly moved to comply. Kanan studied him closely as he sat on the edge of the hospital bed, noting the slightly puffy eyes and pink tinge to his padawan's nose, lingering remnants of their earlier argument. Ezra breathing was better controlled now but only just. He took a careful breath of his own before speaking.

"Are you sure you're ready to talk about this?"

"No. But I don't want you to come home with it still hanging over my head. We need to get it all out before it disturbs the others."

Kanan nodded, quietly proud of the mature answer.

"You were right that the wolves showed me the path ahead. I wasn't certain but I knew that my death was a strong possibility. I fought the idea at first, I promise I did. But it finally came down to if keeping my family safe meant letting go of my life in this form then that's what I would do. I knew that you were more than capable of carrying on what I started. I made peace with it Ezra."

"How could you be at peace knowing what your death would do to us? Would do to me? You know-"

"What?"

"No, I can't."

"Ezra please. You haven't held back from me in months, don't start now."

His padawan shook his head, fighting back tears. "I've already said my piece, anything I add on to it now would only be colossally unfair."

"That's life."

"Life. That's the point. Your life was torn to shreds when your master died protecting you, and you were willing to make me suffer that same loss. To make me keep going when half my heart, my existence, had been ripped away. I…I don't understand how you could so freely give in. Maybe I've misread everything that's passed between us since you brought me into your life but I really- I thought that-"

I thought you loved me.

The impact of the inaudible words shattered what little shielding each of them had around their emotions, leaving their connection awash in sorrow, hurt, and a not insignificant amount of guilt.

"I'm sorry," Ezra quickly whispered. "That was selfish, this was about far more than just me-" his words were cut off by Kanan arms surrounding him, pulling him close so fast Ezra's nose smashed hard into his master's collarbone. The younger man's resistance held out for approximately twelve seconds before he collapsed into heaving sobs, clinging to his guardian without embarrassment.

Hands stroked his back, attempting to soothe him in a way Kanan hadn't bothered to use ever since their bond grew deep enough to send comfort and reassurance through the Force. The action, even without contemplating what it might mean, added another layer to Ezra's crumbling self control.

Eventually, when the older Jedi's instincts judged his boy to be calm enough, Kanan spoke. "You said your words were unfair, so you have to know I couldn't love you more if you were my own flesh and blood." The young man in his arms sucked in a sharp breath and Kanan ran a hand through his short dark hair before continuing. "And you're right, I do know what it's like to be forced to live without the other half of a sacred bond."

"So how could you-"

"I don't think it's something that can be explained. It's...it's a feeling that transcends logic, transcends reasoning. When the force leads your path, when you surrender yourself fully to it's will… it's beautiful Ezra. Even when what it leads you to is not something you want," Kanan punctuated the words with a series of squeezes, "you find yourself accepting it. You just pray the people you love the most will understand as well."

"I don't know if I can." The words were a reluctant whisper.

"You will. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day it will be your turn. And if I'm still around to see it, then know you have my blessing. Even if it'll count as one of the worst days of my life, I'll support you in what you have to do."

"But what if I get it wrong? You obviously did. The Force told you it was your time to die, but unless I've finally cracked, you're still alive. Who messed up?"

Kanan frowned. "I've been hoping you could answer that. I felt the force pull me from the flames. I assumed it was you doing it."

Ezra shook his head, sitting up. "No I...when I saw you, it was all I could do to hold Hera back. I just...I froze."

"Hey, it's alright. Your keeping Hera safe was all I could ever have asked for. All I will ever ask for. She's…"

"Pregnant."

Kanan took a deep breath. "Not what I was gonna say but, yeah, I know. That's a conversation for another time though." He smiled warmly and rubbed his Ezra's head again, relishing every second of his grinning irritation at the gesture, a reaction that had been denied to his eyes for too long. "I am proud of you. I don't say it enough. You've grown so much these past few years, heh, it's doubtful you even need a master anymore."

Ezra's heart clinched painfully at the thought. He knew Kanan wasn't trying to abandon him but the old fear that habitually clawed away at his insides burst forth, pushing out the words he'd have been too timid - or too proud - to say otherwise. "I still need a dad."

The air around them grew still as his companion processed that.

"I know, I know, I'm eighteen, that's the age kids are supposed to stop needing parents. But I went without anything like them for eight years...and I know the galaxy doesn't owe me anything but-" His ramble ended as arms grabbed him once again, guiding him back down to rest on his mentor's shoulder once again.

"The galaxy owes you so much," Kanan whispered in his ear. "I owe you more than you could ever imagine. If eight years is what you want in return I'm all yours."

"Are you?"

"Of course! Just because there's a baby-"

"This has nothing to do with the baby! Can I be sure that you'll stick around for all of those years? Or will you make another choice without any of our input that ends in me watching you die? Please Dad, I can't…I can't lose another parent! Not now, not like this!"

"You won't, my boy. I promise you won't." Promptly dispensing with any arguments, Kanan shifted all his focus into soothing his heartbroken child. After many minutes with nothing but close cuddles and soft shushes Ezra finally calmed. Still Kanan held him tightly, intent on keeping his son feeling secure and cherished.

"I love you." Ezra finally whispered.

"I love you too," Kanan replied, resting his cheek on Ezra's hair. "I always said you've taught me as much as I've taught you. I guess it was my turn for a lesson. Don't blindly follow anything, not even the Force." He paused then added, "I honestly can't promise you that we will never face another situation like this. And if it comes down to my life or everyone else's you know which one I'm going to choose. It's my job and it's what I want because I love every single one of you. Except maybe Chopper."

Ezra laughed wetly. "I understand. I'm not mad at you for protecting us I just…"

"Are angry that I chose to go about it this way. There's the lesson I think: No one's infallible. We're a family, and when it comes to matters that will have an irreversible impact on all of us, we share what we know, and we make the decision together. You're my son but you're also an adult and Jedi in your own right, or close enough anyway. I can promise I will give you the respect you deserve as a result of that. And I'll make sure Hera does too. Although she'll probably look at me like I'm stupid for just coming to this realization now."

Another snort came from the now emotionally exhausted young adult laying on his chest. "When was the last time you slept, Ezra?"

"Ummm."

"Wrong answer. Go to bed."

"Am in bed." Came the slurred retort.

"Nope. This one's reserved. Plus with any luck I'll be leaving in a couple hours and neither Hera or I is in any condition to haul your passed out butt back to the Ghost. So shoo."

Ezra sat up reluctantly, a vaguely hurt look in his eye that did not go unnoticed. As his padawan slid off the bed and turned to face him, Kanan sat up fully and reached out, taking Ezra's face in his hands.

"Look at me," he ordered gently. Tired blue eyes eventually met his own. "I'll wake you as soon as we're on board. We'll meet back up with everyone else and we'll finish this fight. Once and for all. Deal?"

"Together?" The question was very nearly a challenge.

Kanan nodded seriously, leaning forward to kiss his son's brow. "I promise."

"Deal."