A/N: We passed 200 reviews! This is amazing! Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this and telling me what you think. I'm so glad you're all enjoying it! This chapter is another large one, but it could not be broken. You'll see. Thank you once again to Sarah, my beta, for editing this and Elle for prompting me throughout it. I know none of you asked for a warning but just in case, this is one of those explicit chapters I was talking about. Hope you like it!
Chapter Twenty Two
I did not expect the sharp sense of relief that I felt on my way to Dauntless. It is a small thing, but the knowledge that I am far away from Jeanine comforts me for once. Two technicians who have fitted themselves in the front seat and the next seat accompany me. The technician next to me had apologized for taking up the space with me until I finally commanded him to be silent. I could not take it any longer. It effectively sent the whole car into silence as we drove to Dauntless.
The weather was bitter cold, so it was no surprise to not see Eric waiting for us. As the driver opened my door though, he appeared and ushered me into the compound quickly, moving himself to shield me from most of the wind. The others were left to fend for themselves, but they followed just as quickly. Cold is a powerful motivator.
"Amelia," Eric says when we are finally inside. He brushes a trace of snow that the wind picked up from my coat.
"Eric," I nod. "Let's get this over with quickly."
"Of course." He leads me forward, a hand on the small of my back. It is a small enough action that I allow. I am too tired to push him away and argue about it. The technicians follow slowly, more mindful of the steep drops from the walkways.
"I told you I'd see you soon," Eric says. I don't bother looking at him. I know he likely has a smug look on his face.
"So you did," I say. I don't have the energy to deal with him. He doesn't say anything in return but I feel his eyes on me.
It isn't long before we reach the laboratory past the security system. The technicians get to work immediately and the driver is left waiting by the door. I move further into the room, checking it over before I finally seat myself on one of the chairs by the desks. I open my tablet, looking over the messages that have come in for Jeanine. Many of them are updates on what the sections of the faction are working on, but there are some requests for her assistance. There is also a request for her presence in one of the classrooms. They are covering the history of the factions and are asking each leader or representative of the factions to come in and speak with the children. I make a note of it. Jeanine will want to make her ideas known to impressionable minds.
I am deep in my work, organizing Jeanine's schedule for the next few weeks and replying to the non-essential requests when I realize something. It is too quiet. I look up from my tablet only to see the technicians and driver are gone. There is only Eric, standing by the door with his arms crossed as he watches me.
"Where is everyone?" I ask as I stand from the chair.
"Gone," he says. "They left without you."
"They would not." They wouldn't dare. He's watching me, still amused. "Where are they?"
"Gone," he repeats.
My eyes narrow and I move towards the door. Eric doesn't stop me as I find my way out of Dauntless. I don't see a trace of blue in my path. When I finally reach the door to the outside, he moves quickly and steps in front of me. "Move."
The smirk on his face slowly grows. "You're not going anywhere." Fear strikes through me like lightning.
"Excuse me?" I straighten my spine, glaring at him. "You cannot order me around, Eric. I am Jeanine's assistant and..." my words die as he pushes open the door behind me. The world outside is white and it is almost impossible to see where the car is. The wind howls as he closes the door. "Oh."
A storm has struck and by all appearances, I am stuck at Dauntless. "I need to get back to Erudite."
Eric looks at me as if I am stupid. "The warning has been given. All transportation is shut down, even the trains. They're going to be shutting down all unnecessary energy consumption. You have to remain here until the roads clear."
"But that could be days!" I argue.
He just grins. "Yes." He looks utterly pleased with himself that the anger that sits in my veins flares up. How dare he. As if I don't have enough to deal with.
I storm forwards before I can stop myself, reel my hand back and slap him as hard as I can. His face turns to the side and the world feels as if it's paused, holding its breath for his reaction. My palm stings. "I am not one of your subjects in Dauntless," I snarl. "I am Erudite and I will be respected." I take a deep breath as he turns to finally look at me. The intensity of his stare breaks through me. I cannot stay here. "It is my choice," I mutter, pushing past him and throwing open the door to the outside. I run before I can stop myself.
The wind batters my face and I can barely see in front of me. I am not wearing enough for this. My heels hinder me as I press forward, determined to make it to where I know the car is. I slip, falling to the ground as I curse the impractical shoes. As a start to stand, something wraps around my waist, pulling me back.
"No!" I kick out, trying to get them to release me, but I am no match against the strength holding me. I am drawn back into the compound, pushed inside as the door slams behind me.
"Are you a fucking idiot?" Eric stands there, looking more furious than I've ever seen him.
I glare back. "I will not be forced to remain here. I have to get back." I should never have come. The relief I felt at leaving Erudite leaves me hollow. I left Vera in the hands of Jeanine, and now there is nothing left to help her. The cold I feel has little to do with the snow that melts through my clothes.
"There is a fucking snow storm outside," Eric steps closer. "The city is in lockdown."
I don't care. I can't tell him that in this moment I would rather freeze to my death outside than be subjected to my own thoughts. I can't stop myself from shivering as the cold seems to seep into my bones. "I am not staying."
"You don't have a choice." He grabs my arm, pulling me away from the door, away from my freedom. His words ring through my ears and I strike at him, digging my heels in. The hell I don't.
"Don't touch me! Let go!"
He doesn't react. I swipe at him, aiming for his face but his hand grips my wrist tightly. "I wouldn't," he warns, his voice tight. He wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me back before lifting me and carrying me as he strides forwards. It is an impressive show of strength and I do everything I can to kick at him, trying to get free. I am no match for a Dauntless leader though, and despite the scene we cause as he continues past other Dauntless, no one stops us.
The building around us changes as we move away from the stone underground. I am surrounded by glass as I realize he carried me up. I have never seen this part of Dauntless before. My heart pounds in my chest as the anger in me slowly turns to fear. I can see past the walkways to the unending cavern below. I would be lost if I escaped him and I am certain he knows it.
He finally stops, after entering a room and I drop to my feet, stumbling at the sudden impact. I've lost my heels during the journey. The floor is freezing and I can't help but look around as I turn to face him. It is an apartment, one that is larger than mine and meticulously neat. The large bed in the corner catches my attention before something hits me. It falls to the ground and I glare at Eric, who stands there staring at me. Another glance at the ground shows a pile of fabric, likely his own clothes.
I cross my arms over my chest and merely stare at him. "I'm not wearing those." A look of complete frustration crosses his face for an instant, and I wonder if this will finally break his interest.
"Don't be ridiculous. You're freezing."
"I'm fine," I say, but it's an obvious lie. Now that I am away from him, the cold has seeped back in and I am shaking again. My mind mentally goes over the signs of hypothermia and I am still in the early stages. I do need to get out of my clothes, but I will not wear his.
He moves forward and stands before me. He leans down so that his face is in front of mine. "Either you wear them, or you wear nothing."
My eyes narrow at the implication. "You wouldn't dare."
"Try me."
There's little doubt in my mind that he would toss me out naked. I could easily picture him tearing my blouse and tossing me out of his apartment, left to the mercy of the other Dauntless. I bend down and pick up the clothes, trying to ignore the pleased look on his face. I raise my head, trying to reel myself back into my professionalism. Perhaps the sooner I am changed the sooner he will let me leave. "Which way to the washroom?"
The shirt Eric gave me engulfs me, ending at my thighs. It highlights the size difference between us immensely. The pants are nearly useless. They are far too big and there is no way they stay on my hips, despite my attempts to fix it. The legs themselves had to be rolled up multiple times just so I wouldn't trip on them. I felt ridiculous all in black, and it didn't sit right in me. I was Erudite. I had always been Erudite, even when the test claimed otherwise. I chose Erudite. I did not choose Dauntless.
I hesitate before leaving the washroom. I ignore the feeling of embarrassment as I hold up the pants by the waistline as I step out into the room. A sharp inhale catches my attention and I look up to see Eric staring at me. Everything in me tells me to flee at the sight of him. In his eyes is the same look that he had when he was last in my apartment.
"I hung up my clothes in the washroom," I tell him. My hair is still pinned back into a bun, and my glasses rest on the bridge of my nose. I clutch my tablet tightly. "If you would show me to the nearest spare room, it would be appreciated." I am trying to be polite but I catch the slightly steel in my voice. I open the tablet and quickly send a note to Jeanine, informing her of the complication that has arisen. I will not be returning until the roads are clear enough that I can make it through. She should get it before the communications are shut down. If I am lucky, she will send assistance sooner than later.
"You'll stay here." His voice cuts through my thoughts and as the words register, I look up at him.
"Excuse me?" My voice is like ice. Stay here? With him?
"I can't let Jeanine's pet wander through Dauntless. What will they think?" He moves closer to me and his words reverberate in my ears.
"I am not her pet," I snap as I step forwards, placing the tablet on the nearest flat surface. Fury floods through me at the thought. "I am her assistant, one that is highly valuable." The words catch in my throat. I am valuable. I do the smaller, necessary things that allow her to focus on her work. I have found Divergents for her. In that moment I realize something. I am no better than the man who stands before me.
"You are a pet," Eric reiterates slowly. "Always doing her bidding."
My jaw clenches and I glare up at him. I have never hated anyone more than I do now, looking at him. He's right. I am at her beck and call, destroying others in an effort to save myself. My hands shake. Vera's face springs to mind, gagged and tears running down her cheeks, a stark contrast to the smiling Amity transfer. It is all my fault.
Something breaks inside me and I am suddenly desperate to stop thinking. I cannot survive if I let myself focus on the consequences of my actions. Eric suddenly feels impossibly close. He has a way of obtaining my attention and keeping it solely on him, drowning out anything else. I need that now.
I reach up and grab the collar of his jacket, pulling him down as I push myself up on my toes. I meet his lips desperately. His arms wrap around me instantly, pulling me into his chest. He deepens the kiss, one of his hands digging into my hair and keeping me there. I move one of my arms up around his neck, while the hand holding his collar slips under it, trying to push it off. I feel him smile under my lips.
I break the kiss, and his lips touch the side of my mouth, then along my jaw before reaching my neck. I shove his jacket off of his shoulders, and he lets go of me to shake it off, flinging it somewhere in the room. He takes my glasses, sliding them off of my face before throwing them somewhere. Before I can argue, his hands grab both sides of my neck before he kisses me hard. I let myself relax in his hold, opening my mouth to his.
My hands press on his solidness of his chest, feeling the muscles move with every move he makes. There was no one at Erudite like this. No one like him. My hands tug up his shirt, reaching under to feel the heat of his skin. He inhales sharply at my touch.
The pants I wore pool at my feet and Eric's hand touches the back of my thigh where the shirt ends. My breath hitches at the feeling. It's not enough. I pull at his shirt and he finally breaks the kiss to take it off. My throat tightens and my mouth goes dry at the sight. He is unlike anything I've seen before, except in pictures in books. Before I can think further, he is kissing me again.
His skin feels like fire and every touch burns the cold away. His hand splays across my back, pinning me to him.
"Eric," I breathe. I need him closer. I need him to burn the thoughts that threaten to consume me. I cannot live with the hate I feel for myself. Not now.
"Amelia," he says against my lips.
I push him back, and the action takes him by surprise enough that he releases me and stumbles back onto the bed. How did we even get this close? I throw the thought from my mind, and as I feel Eric's eyes on me, I pull off the shirt I wear. I step forwards, moving to straddle his legs before I kiss him hard.
He returns the kiss for a moment, before moving, grabbing the backs of my thighs and pulling my legs closer around him until our hips are against each other. His movements suddenly slow, no longer holding the desperation I wanted. I roll my hips into his, wanting more. I need more.
His hand slides up my thigh slowly, nearly encompassing it. He rests on the small of my back, and his other hands moves to cup my cheek. "Amelia," he says softly.
I rock my hips into his again, feeling the hardness of his growing erection. Why is he doing this? Isn't this what he wanted? I scrape my teeth against his jaw, needing him to react. To stop the slow strokes up my back. His grip on my thigh tightens. A whine makes it way out of my throat. This isn't enough. I kiss the tattoos on his neck, biting down enough that his hips jerk against mine. That was an interesting reaction. Before I could attempt to recreate it, he stands, still holding me, before turning and dropping me on to the bed.
I bounce slightly but he is on me before I can really move. He fits himself in between my legs and trails his fingers up my legs. They continue their path, burning slowly up my ribs. I flinch at the contact, and I can see the awareness of the sensitivity of them light up in Eric's eyes. He smirks, but his fingers keep going. They skirt just around my breasts, still covered with the plain white bra I had put on earlier. When they finally reach my shoulders, I can barely think. He should not be able to do this with a simple touch. Not when he barely hit any erogenous zones on my body.
He finally kisses me again and there is a trace of the desperation I crave in it. He holds himself up over me and surrounds me. There is no escape like this, and nothing left to focus on but him. I grab the back of his neck, kissing him harder. I move my leg, hooking it around him to pull him closer.
He pulls back, leaving me blinking in confusion. I watch as he sits up, kneeling over me as he undoes his pants. I take the opportunity to undo my bra, throwing it to the side. He doesn't move for a moment, staring at me as he kneels above me. His mouth is open slightly, and his chest heaves with every breath. He leans back down, finally, and my arms welcome the distraction he serves.
He kisses me softly though, and when I try to deepen it, to make it harder, his hand comes up and pulls my hair out of its bun. I wince at the pull of it, and as certain as I am that he throws away the elastic, my focus is solely on his lips. His hand digs itself into my hair, twisting it around his fingers before he pulls it to the side, breaking the kiss and exposing my neck to him. My breath comes in sharply, but his lips are on my neck, kissing and sucking bruises onto it.
"Please," I nearly beg. He ignores me. The hand that is not in my hair strokes up and down my side slowly. I move my hands, one of them digs into the muscle of his shoulder while the other reaches down. He has removed his underwear and I can feel him hard against me. It would not take much to force the reaction I want. As my hand brushes against the skin of his abdomen, the hand that stroked my side grabs it. He weaves his fingers through mine before pinning it to the bed. My chest clenches. His hand engulfs mine and when I move my hand off of his shoulder, to press against his chest, he untangles his hand from my hair and does the same with that that one. I am left pinned and exposed to him. He pulls back from my neck and looks at me as I try to pull away from his bonds.
My eyes narrow at him. "I thought you promised a release," I ask, remembering the promise to sex as stress relief.
His lips curl up slowly. "You'll get your release. My way." He moves to the other side of my neck, his tongue brushing the bottom lobe of my ear. This wasn't the plan.
His mouth is a weapon, one he uses well. He moves down from my neck, tracing my collarbone with his tongue and his teeth, causing my body to shudder against him. He pulls my hands lower, lessening the ache of their position. He kisses down the valley between my breasts and I try to arch up into him. He only pulls back, lessening the heat that builds between us. He moves his legs over mine, using the weight of his to hold me down. I am truly trapped beneath him.
He spends far too much time on the skin around my breasts. My nipples pucker despite the lack of attention and I am left wanting. His mouth finally closes around one of them, sucking hard and causing me to cry out at the sensation. Oh god. He is tormenting me, punishing me with every touch of his tongue. His teeth scrape against the skin before he moves to the other one. I want his hands on me, not holding me down. This time, I do beg.
"Please!"
It only causes him to move, leaving my breasts demanding more attention. His lips trace along my rib cage until he finds the very spot that causes me to pull from him. He lavishes his focus on it, sucking hard as if trying to brand himself on me. Research says that women often find more of a release with increased amounts of foreplay, but this...this is different. He is learning every inch of me.
I try to pull away, but his weight and the grip of his hands keep me still. Eric moves away from my ribs, across my abdomen and despite his attention, I feel a spark of insecurity run through me. I am not Dauntless. I am not athletic or as toned as they are. The thoughts are thrown from my head as his tongue dips into my bellybutton. My stomach clenches, and the growing heat that pools in my belly flares up. He will be the death of me.
He finally releases my hands, and they clench at the sheets under me. He moves further down, his hands stroking my legs. He kisses the top of my thigh, but instead of moving in towards the very juncture that demands his mouth, his fingers, anything, he moves his mouth further down my leg. The hand that is not touching my leg, holds the other one in place. His fingers brush the back of my knee, and my leg jumps at the touch.
It isn't enough. My hand reaches down to relieve some of the ache he's creating. His hand grabs mine, holding it tightly.
"Not yet," he says. He moves back up my body, grabbing my other hand before placing them both under the pillow my head was resting on. "Don't move them," he orders. "You move and I stop."
"Don't you dare."
He raises his eyebrows in challenge before drawing back slowly. He watches me carefully as he goes back in between my legs. He lifts the leg he had been focusing on, touching his lips to the inside of my ankle before setting it on his shoulder.
He kisses up the inside of my leg, his hand touching the other side lightly. He is heightening every sensation until it is almost painful. He stops at my knee, his tongue darting out to touch the underside of it. He stops my leg from jolting at the touch with his hand, but I can feel his smirk against my skin.
My hands jerk from under the pillow and I feel him pause and pull away from my leg. He was serious. I shove my hands back under. "Oh god, please."
He leans forward, his mouth on the inside of my thigh and getting closer to the very centre of the growing desire. He pulls back before his mouth reaches it, and I am left groaning in the agony of waiting. He hooks his fingers around the underwear I'm wearing though, and pulls it down. He unhooks it from the leg that is still over his shoulder first, before sliding it down the other. He moves the leg on his shoulder back onto the bed. This has to be it. He has to stop teasing. I never expected Eric to take his time, to be a man who goes slow.
He repeats his actions on my other leg, and I have no doubt that he's noted the fact that he hits the sensitive spot on my ankle. It's the same ankle I injured the first time I wore heels. My hands jerk again at the feeling of his mouth on it, causing him to stop. I won't beg, but I move my hands back in place.
His mouth trails fire in it's wake as he continues upward. My body demands release, demands that he do more than just kiss and suck bruises onto my skin.
"Eric," I breathe.
"Yes," I hear him reply. He sounds just as breathless, despite the fact that he's the one doing this to me. The sound I make is more of a whine, one that sounds desperately wanting. His hands grab my thighs, moving the one from his shoulder and spreading them wide before him. Any embarrassment I feel is lost in the demands that he do something.
It is agonizingly slow. I feel his nose first, brushing against the lips of my vagina. He inhales deeply, but before I can wonder, his mouth is on me. My whole body arches at the feeling of his mouth on my clitoris. His arms move, going under my thighs and pulling me closer while his hands pin down my hips. There's no hesitation, no pause as he uses his tongue and delves deeper into me.
"Oh god," I mutter. I cannot move, cannot escape his mouth. He alternates between stroking and sucking on my clitoris, and plunging his tongue into me. My heels dig into his back. It is too much. My entire body is on fire, and he is building it with every touch. I throw my head back against the pillows and my hands reach for him, for any part I can touch. I can feel the pressure building.
He moves fast, grabbing my hands and forcing them into one of his while his other one still holds me down. I am thrown over the edge without warning. My body shudders, finally claiming the release I sought. Eric doesn't move, still holding me tightly while his tongue moves against the suddenly over sensitive folds.
He releases me slowly, and he moves up as achingly slow as his initial decent. His lips and hands feel as if they're everywhere. He finally cups my breasts with his hands, massaging them before twisting my nipples harder than I usually enjoy. My body bucks against him.
He kisses me hard, grabbing the back of my neck as he deepens the kiss. He pulls up one of my thighs with one of his hands before shifting and pushing in slowly. He groans against my mouth and I wince at the stretch. He breaks the kiss and his head falls against my shoulder. He doesn't move for a second, and it feels as if it stops time around us. I move my hips against his, testing the feeling of him in me. His hand on my thigh tightens and he moves his head from my neck. He looks down at me but I can't meet his gaze.
"Look at me," he says.
I clench my eyes shut, turning my head away. He cannot demand this of me. I don't want that connection. All I wanted was something hard and fast. Something that would make me forget. I rock my hips again, but his hips suddenly press down, pinning me under his weight. The hand on the back of my neck moves to cup my jaw and he forces my head to turn back to him.
"Look at me," his voice is rougher, more demanding. The pressure on my jaw increases and my eyes fly open, meeting his.
His gaze seems to penetrate me, leaving me feeling barer than I did before. He moves his hips, pulling out before slowly sliding back in. His gaze never leaves mine. There is something in it that I can't describe, something that leaves me terrified and breathless. His pace quickens, his hips slamming into mine.
"Amelia," he says, over and over again. My name is on his lips with each thrust. He shifts, pulling me up into his lap as he sits back. Despite the sudden gain in purchase, I am left to his whims. My knees are bent on either side of him, but it is his hand on my waist and neck that control my every move. My eyes flutter shut, as his mouth goes to my neck, attempting to brand me again. I am pulled to lean back and suddenly every thrust hits something that I had only read about.
"Eric!" I cry out, reaching for any part of him that I can touch. My hand weaves into his hair while the other digs it's nails into his shoulder. "Oh god, Eric..."
The hand on my waist moves and shoves itself between us. His fingers press against my clitoris, causing me to buck against him. His pace increases, continuously hitting that spot. With the addition of his fingers, it is not longer before my entire body tightens, my toes curl and I am granted another release. Eric follows with a few more strokes and my name on his lips. I realize, belatedly, that he was drawing it out to match it.
He lifts his head, watching me carefully as I try to catch my breath. The pressure of his hand directs me forward, resting my forehead against his. We stare at each other, our bodies still interlocked. This had not gone as planned.
He kisses me, softer than any of the others before. It sinks into me, settling like lead in my stomach. I move, pulling away from him but his grip tightens, holding me in place.
"Eric," I say softly. "I'm just going to the washroom." He releases me slowly and I feel his eyes on me as I leave the room. I focus on the ache of my thigh muscles, and when I am finished, I don't even glance in the mirror. I don't want to see myself. Not like this.
I step back into the room and hesitate. What was I supposed to do now? Climb back into bed? Should I leave and find somewhere else to go?
"Are you coming back to bed?"
My gaze snaps to Eric who is sitting up in the bed. The sheets are pooled at his waist. He looks like a prime specimen of a man. I step forwards automatically and look over him as I move closer. The tattoos on his neck go further, but there is a detailed tattoo on his chest that I can't fully make out in the light. I sit down on the edge of the bed, only to be pulled back into his chest. He lies down, taking me with him. His leg shoves itself between mine and his arm tightens around my waist, holding my back against his chest.
"Go to sleep," he demands. I am half inclined to argue with him, but the sudden stop of movement and the reclining position highlight my exhaustion. I close my eyes and try to ignore Eric's breath against my hair. I fall asleep almost instantly.
I wake slowly, shifting in the sheets around me. I can feel the warmth of a body next to mine, close enough that I can feel his skin against mine. My thighs throb with reminders of past activities and I inhale deeply. I should move. I should get up and find a way back to Erudite. Fingers stroke up and down my spine. I turn my head and look at Eric. His gaze is soft, but I can't feel the alarm that it usually brings. I'm just tired.
"Go back to sleep." His voice is quiet yet still demanding. My eyes close of their own accord and I can't help but shift towards his warmth. It feels like it surrounds me.
He moves, settling around me and I feel his lips on my shoulder. "You're safe, Amelia," he says soft enough that I barely hear him. "You're safe here." I want to believe him. I want to believe that his strength is enough, but he cannot bear the weight I carry. I turn, angling my body towards his before curling up to him. He places his arm out so that my head can rest on it while he pulls my body into his. My head tucks under his chin and I am encased with the smell of him. I surrender to my exhaustion quickly.
[tbc]
