Steve's POV
Another day of training began at 5 a.m., most of us spread out sparring off with our assigned partners for this round. Today mine happened to be Wanda. I thought it'd be a good idea to work on her hand to hand combat skills. She had her ability, but I wanted her to be able to fight off enemies if they were too close; if she had no other option, but to defend herself without her ability.
"Don't hold back Wanda. Enemies could slip in moves you're not expecting. If you hold back, you could get…hurt," I explained, taking a punch to the ribs.
"You talk too much," She said. "You might want to work on that," I chuckled, getting back into a defensive position. Ready to go again, we were interrupted by FRIDAY, Tony's A.I.
"Sorry to interrupt, but there appears to be trouble in Queens. Mr. Stark is already over there. He's asked me to tell you to grab a few team members and join him in the fight," She alerted us.
"Thank you, FRIDAY. We'll be on our way shortly," I said. Turning to the group in the room, I decided who I would bring with me on this mission.
"Wanda, Nat, Bucky, and Sam. Suit up. The training session is over," I ordered.
Arriving on site, I noticed Tony taking down some creature I didn't recognize. It was translucent and grey. They were faceless with only sharp teeth to eat its prey.
"Stark, what's the situation? More aliens?" I greeted him, assessing what our next move should be.
"Ghouls. Glad you could join us Rogers," he responded.
"Us? I thought you were on your own. Please, tell me you didn't bring the kid in," I said, referring to Peter Parker.
"No, I didn't ask him to help me with this. Strange showed up a few minutes ago. He said he got a warning as well. I thought more hands were needed, which is why I got FRIDAY to alert you at the compound,"
A horrifying shriek from beside us had Tony and I turning to be face to face with another ghoul. This one was larger than the one Tony took down on arrival.
"Oh good. They come in all shapes and sizes," I said, throwing my shield through its middle. The move didn't kill it, the severed top crawling towards us. Tony blasted its head and the thing exploded, raining ghoulish gunk onto our suits.
"That's disgusting. I just cleaned this suit from the last time we fought things that exploded," Tony complained.
More shrieks echoed around us; we gulped as we located the source…or sources of the shrieks. A horde had gathered behind us, swaying and screaming as more joined. Everyone huddled around Tony and me, Strange levitating in from one of the alleyways.
"What are they waiting for?" Bucky asked, keeping his aim locked on the ghouls in front of us.
"For one of us to make a move. They only need one of us to be stupid enough to take them all at once," Strange answered.
"Good thing there's more of us to take that risk," Natasha said. She readied her weapons and moved into an offensive position, waiting for a command. Wanda flared her magic as did Strange, Tony raised an iron hand ready to fire, while the rest of us prepared to charge at the ever-growing horde.
"You heard her. Let's take these ghouls out," I said. We charged the gathering horde, expecting them to do the same. We tore them apart, some of us team effort, others on our own.
A yell from Wanda caught me off guard and a couple ghouls pinned me to the ground, faceless mouths with sharp teeth looming over my body; thick saliva dripped onto my suit as they went in for the kill. I tried fighting them off me to no avail as there were too many holding me down. I'd been dead if not for Strange coming to my aid by slashing through most of them with a magical sword. I fought off the two holding my legs, getting to my feet.
"Are you alright?" Strange asked me.
"Yeah. Thanks for the help,"
"You're welcome. Wanda's fine if you're wondering. She smashed a few ghouls into a brick wall," he said. Movement from behind him caught my eye; Strange turned to see what caught my attention. Globs of severed ghouls slid across the pavement, forming into one larger mass.
"Uh, Strange? Should that be happening?" We watched as more attached to create the massive form.
"They're forming to turn into a giant ghoul. I haven't seen anything like this," he said.
"Any ideas on how to-," I began to ask until a large arm hit me, slinging my body against a concrete wall. I grunted, falling to my knees, wincing as pain shot through me. Stars blurred my vision. I blinked a few times to clear them, pulling myself from the ground, holding my ribs on my left side.
"Steve! Are you okay?" Natasha said, running to my side.
"Fine. It's formed into a massive ghoul," I gritted through my teeth, nausea turning my stomach.
"Wonderful. I guess we're going to have to fight harder to win this one," she said.
"As if we haven't already. You're bleeding," I commented, noticing a cut on her forehead.
"A couple of them cornered me, slammed me into the ground. Who knew there would be a shard of glass on the asphalt? I'll be alright. Wanda got a few cuts on her hands from the sidewalk," She told me. A large flash of light had us shielding our eyes until it faded; the massive ghoul burned, the shriek sharp enough for us to cover our ears. We watched as it kept burning for another 10 seconds until it burst, spraying remains all over the buildings and the street. Making our way over to where Strange, Tony, and Wanda stood, Bucky running over to us from a few feet away.
"What happened?" I asked.
"Fire spell and I had Wanda help with aiming it…well everywhere. Tony assisted with the rest of the, uh, explosion," Strange explained.
"Ah. Good work. Any idea how to clean this up?"
"I'll call in a crew. We can go home," Tony stated.
If the battle hadn't been tiring, the meeting with General Ross wore us out to the bone. The team got back to check injuries; my ribs were broken, but would soon heal in a few weeks, thanks to the serum coursing through my veins. Others had cuts and bruises, but not too much damage had been done to them. We received word from FRIDAY; Ross had opted to stop by. He wanted to talk about the mission and even invited Strange along for the "party".
"…people fearing for their lives, the street covered in goop…" he fussed, making me lose interest in the conversation. Strange interrupted him to explain the technical term for the goop, earning him a glare.
"You had to bring Strange along and the Maximoff woman who caused-,"
"She doesn't need a reminder. Strange received his own warning and offered to help," Tony cut in, his arms crossed over his chest.
"Both caused destruction. I-,"
"I helped with explosion of ghoul insides. More people would've been hurt. Be grateful that they were there. This meeting is over," Tony said, dismissing everyone. Ross glowered over the table at us before leaving the room. Once he reached an area out of earshot, the tension in the room released; our shoulders dropped.
"He still despises us since the whole disagreement a couple years ago. No one is at fault here. Stephen, thank you for your help. Wanda, you did a great job. As did everyone else. We can all go relax, eat something," I addressed everyone. As they filed out, I leaned back in the office chair, carding a hand through my hair. I blew out a sigh of frustration and stress; I wanted to write to Keira. I couldn't tell her about this without revealing a crucial detail. Still, I needed to vent to someone; someone outside of the situation. Getting up, I walked over to the table with the projector on it. I picked up a pen and a few sheets of paper, sitting down again.
Taking a deep breath, I began writing out detail after detail. I kept writing until my hand hurt and kept going, At the end of it, I requested a day to meet her and how thrilled I was to have received her answer. Once I had completed the letter, I carried it to my room to get an envelope. Slipping the pages in, I planned to send it out first thing in the morning. Right now, I needed to soak in the bath to soothe the pain in my ribs.
Keira's POV
Christmas would be arriving in a few weeks and I had yet to decorate. Making it my mission to get the apartment decked out in the holiday spirit, I set out to the nearby craft shop and purchased the necessary items. A tree, ornaments and lights piled up in my shopping cart; the theme this year being silver and light blue. My own decisions and not my mother's, who had her own opinion of what colors to use. Satisfied with all the balls and baubles I picked up, I made my way to check out and returned home to drop off everything.
The next thing on my list to take care of was to pick up the ingredients for dinner tonight. Jana, Charlotte, and Lena were coming over for Christmas dinner. We were having it early because I had a trip to go on next week. A much-needed vacation at the beach where I could do nothing except read. It was my turn to host anyway and I had decided on making chili. Nothing fancy, I know, but the weather had made it a perfect meal. There would be red velvet cake for dessert. Not to mention gift giving, which I had already done; even wrapped them as well. As I shopped around for the necessary ingredients, I noticed people had gathered around one of the TVs by the meat department.
Looking up, I saw a major battle going on involving the Avengers. They only showed a clip of the monster of fire and exploding; I almost gagged at the remains of it, walking down to look at the choices of meat for chili. I resumed shopping, grabbing beans and chili mix as well as typical items to put on top when ready.
I even picked out a few bottles of wine to have with our dinner. Making my way to the baking aisle, I picked up two boxes of cake mix and a bottle of oil to replace the empty one at home. Finishing up, I checked out and walked back to my apartment, unloading the groceries. Putting on some music to get me in the mood to decorate and set to work. I took breaks to eat and rest, not wanting to strain myself. Around noon, I set to making the chili and set it in the crockpot to cook and be ready in time for dinner.
I stringed lights around my bedroom to create a Christmas atmosphere when I read or wrote to Steve. Next the tree to decorate, hanging the balls and baubles to make the tree look alive, I needed it to provide the Christmas spirit to all who entered my apartment. Around four, I worked on the cake, assembling it with the icing and putting it in the fridge to chill. I decided to get a shower in and to get ready for dinner.
I dressed in a red dress, black leggings and black booties. Waiting on my friends, I sat on the couch, a book in my lap. At seven, a knock sounded at my door. I answered it to find my friends standing outside.
"Merry early Christmas," they greeted me as I let them in. Each one gave me a hug and set their presents in front of the tree.
"My, you've outdone yourself this year. I love the colors," Lena said, glancing around the room at the decorations.
"Thank you. I try my best,"
"I brought cookies. I know you made cake, but I thought we could have both," Charlotte told me, handing me a Tupperware container.
"I'll lay them out when it's time for dessert. Your outfits look lovely," I said. Lena wore a sapphire blue dress with beige heels, Charlotte had on an emerald green dress with matching heels and Jana had on a purple dress with dark brown boots.
"So, does yours. Red is the best color on you. Did you see the news this morning? The Avengers. They're always causing problems," Charlotte said.
"They save the world. I highly doubt they're the ones causing the problems. There might be destruction, but lives are saved," I said, doing my best to hide my annoyance.
"The creature left monster insides on the street. It's disgusting. Plus, that Strange guy and the Maximoff woman? She caused deaths in Lagos and he's…well he's an ass and involved in magic," Lena complained.
"That's no excuse to judge them. They're doing their best. Besides, I'm sure Tony Stark had someone come clean up the mess," I said, a little harsh with my words.
"Keira, why are you so quick to defend them? You don't know them," Jana stated.
"Someone needs to. They're blamed for things that aren't necessarily their fault. You don't know them either. Why are you so quick to condemn them? If I remember correctly, you love Captain America, Jana," I snapped. Silence filled the space around us.
"Who's hungry? Let's eat," I commented, going over to spoon out chili into individual bowls. We ate in silence, attempting to put the conversation behind us.
"I'm sorry. You met someone at that gala and didn't get his name?" Lena exclaimed when Jana told us about the man she flirted with.
"Well if someone didn't bring attention to herself by stomping on a guy's foot, then I could have," Jana stated.
"He was an asshole. Plus, I heard later he got into trouble with plotting against the world," I said.
"What did he look like?" Charlotte asked, turning her attention on Jana.
"Who?"
"The guy at the gala you flirted with,"
"Oh. He was tall, blonde, muscular. He had the most beautiful blue eyes I had ever seen," she stated.
"Damn, he sounds dreamy. Too bad you didn't get his name," Lena commented.
"He also turned me down anyway. He was very gentleman like about it too," Jana said.
"Maybe you came on too strong," I commented, getting a glare from her. The others burst into laughter and soon it became time for cake the exchange of presents. My presents to my friends were as follows:
To Jana, a nurse and lover of cats, I got a red blood cell keychain and a mystery book, which had a cat helping out a detective with certain cases.
To Lena, a lover of spas, I put together a mini spa kit fit with bath bombs, oils and face masks. A large bath towel came with them as well as mini nail polishes.
To Charlotte, a planner she'd been eyeing and a new bathrobe because she was simple and practical. The expressions on their faces were ones of surprise, followed by guilt. I opened my gifts from them.
From Jana, lingerie, I suspected for it I ever got a date. Seeing it, heat spread across my face.
From Lena, a book on careers and how to achieve a better one. I winced, knowing she'd never approve of my choice of a career.
From Charlotte, a gift card to the bookstore I loved. Also, a tablet, most likely a way for me to stop buying physical books. I cleared my throat of the sob caught in it and said my thanks, though inside I felt terrible. Here I was, gifting things to my friends that closely resembled their personalities or what I thought they'd love and they in return gifted me things that didn't match with me at all. They left me alone in the apartment to clean and put away leftovers from the night.
I shut off the tree and lights in the living room to retreat to my bedroom. Tears sprung to my eyes at the gifts shoved in the closet, all except the gift card which I'd use. I sat down at my desk, touching the doodle from Steve. Opening the notebook that I used, I focused my energy on writing to Steve, pouring everything out of my soul into something original. I kept writing into the late night, finishing at one in the morning. I climbed in bed crying myself to sleep, wishing I had Steve's arms wrapped around me.
Three Days Later
Steve's POV
We were late to the party when it came to be decorating for Christmas. Tony had bought a giant tree to be placed in the center of the lounge. The girls had bought the lights, ornaments and garland to hand around the apartment. All of us worked hard to get everything decorated, the Christmas spirit alive in the compound. Thoughts of Christmas got me to thinking of Keira and what to send to her. I wanted it to be perfect, to match what she'd love.
I was on the ladder hanging up ornaments when I heard my name called from below. Glancing down, I spied Natasha holding a letter and waving it through the air, a smirk on her face.
"Keira," she mouthed, keeping the secret from everyone around us, but to alert me to who the letter was from. I climbed down and approached her; she handed me the letter, leaning close to my ear.
"It's a lot heavier this time," she told me, letting go of the envelope. My fingers passed over Keira's name before I disappeared downstairs to a room we hardly used; the billiards room. I sat down on one of the leather couches placed at the back of the room, opening the envelope. My hands shook pulling out the contents wondering what she had written. I leaned back and began reading.
Steve,
Christmas is on the way and I realized I hadn't decorated. I did what any normal person did and went out to buy ornaments and a Christmas tree. It's artificial so I can unpack it each year.
My theme colors for this special time are light blue and silver. The blue reminds me of your eyes or what I imagine them to be and silver is a beautiful color for the season. I'll send you pictures of the decorated apartment next time.
Tonight, I needed to write. I've had the most horrible night. No, not the most horrible because I have a different idea of a horrible night. You see, tonight was supposed to be fun. My friends were supposed to come over for a Christmas dinner.
Early I know, but I'm going on a mini trip next week and the week after, work will take over most of my time. You know, the actual week of Christmas I'll be at my parents' house again. The plan was to eat, have cake and exchange gifts. Celebrate. I made homemade chili after buying the ingredients at the store. I made the red velvet cake, though it came from a box (I got behind on the decorating, so I didn't have enough time to fix dinner and make a cake from scratch; still good though).
The thing with the gifts is I tend to cater to what people love or what people love or what matches their personality. Sometimes, the gifts are homemade or something I throw together as a kit. They're special to me, just like your present will be.
She's getting me a present. I can't wait to see what it will be, I thought. I could sense something was about to turn out wrong based on what she wrote. I knew she had already said the night was horrible. I wondered where things were leading.
My friends came over. They said some things about the Avengers I didn't like. Did you hear about the attack this morning? Each one of them tried blaming most of it on them, how they cause destruction wherever they go. Their tone set me on edge, made me angry.
I tensed waiting for her response. She may not agree with her friends' remarks, but it didn't mean she adored us. At least she knew about us, though I found she still didn't make the connection about my other identity. I took a deep breath and kept reading.
I defended the heroes. They're doing so much good for this world. People should be grateful for them. Yes, there is destruction, but everyone seems to forget some higher authority commanded a missile to hit city. I'm grateful that Iron Man stopped it. I'm sure others are as grateful as I am, but others might not be. In Washington, the organization HYDRA targeted important figures, including Stephen Strange. Captain America, Black Widow and Falcon, along with others stopped the assassinations, revealing to everyone their secrets.
I feel for the lives lost in Lagos. Though, I have a hard time placing all the blame on Wanda Maximoff. I'm sure she never meant to hurt anyone. Then there's Sokovia. More evil stopped. Today I watched the clip where Strange, Wanda and Iron Man helped to stop a creature from hurting anyone. I was quite amazed by them to be honest with you. I'm sorry, but it's how I feel.
I expressed such feelings tonight, which made it awkward and uncomfortable. I had thought it was put behind us until Jana mentioned I was the unfortunate cause of a lost date. Though, he turned her down before my exchange with that awful person at the gala. After dessert, we exchanged gifts. They weren't expecting mine to be thoughtful. Theirs were disappointing, hurtful. Lingerie, which under other circumstances would be inviting. A career book, though I'm happy with my career. I'll give credit to Charlotte. She gave me a gift card to my favorite bookstore, but the tablet she gifted made me think she was trying to get me to stop buying physical books.
I'll have to find another use for it. The looks on their faces at that moment were of surprise and then of guilt.
My heart hammered in my chest at her defense of us. She made good points. Natasha would end up befriending her more, especially for her defense of Wanda. Hell, even Wanda would love her. Her friends kept trying to change her into someone she wasn't. My heart ached at her next sentence.
I cried later in my bedroom. Tears of sadness, of anger. It inspired me to sit down and write to you. Plus, something came out I thought you might like.
I turn around and come to find while I'm surrounded by people, I'm alone. Who do you turn to when you have no one who understands? Who do you turn to when you feel invisible? In the dark, I can't find my way out. No escape. I sit here at this desk, penning my heart in a letter. I always thought I'd be able to find someone who would care.
My family cares, but they don't see. They think they know me, but do they really? They want what they'd love to do. Use me as a way for a future they didn't have. My friends hurt me when they don't know it. Now, here's someone I can write to.
I can write to you. I can talk to you. You're my light in the shadows. As cliché as it sounds, it's true. You make me feel like everything will be okay. The warmth in your words ignites a fire I've never had before. I crave you. I'd love to meet you. My heart will belong to you. I need you, my friend. My love, should it come to be. Stay being my light, Steve. You're the one I can turn to. You make me feel I can stand out and not be invisible.
Tears rolled down my cheeks as my heart swelled with love. With passion. She'd been inspired by heartache, but also by the love she felt for me. The desire to meet grew stronger when she asked to set a date to do just that.
Here are the dates I'm available to meet in January. The 16th through the 20th. If any of those work for you let me know. I hope you liked what I sent. Still waiting for you.
Patiently,
Keira
The 16th through the 20th of January. A long time but it would be worth it. I could try for the 18th. A Saturday with nothing to do. I marked it on my phone's calendar, anticipating our first conversation outside of the letters. It wouldn't be the 18th. Fate would have other plans in store for us.
Keira's POV
I got ready to pack for my trip to the beach. I wanted to get away from my friends, even though it meant temporarily leaving Steve behind. I made sure things were in order, going down to check the mail and clearing out the slot for it to be empty. I had a temporary hold on mail coming to the apartment starting on the 11th and ending on the 16th when I'd get back. Upon going through it in the apartment, I found the next letter from Steve. All other envelopes fell to the floor when I let go of them, sitting on the couch to read this one.
Keira,
Though I haven't done this to anyone outside of work, I find I must get frustration off my chest. My work got to be too much. There is too much at stake to be in danger all of the time. I rescue people from impending doom only for some to be ungrateful. I've lost battles to no end on what I should do and how I should do it.
I've gotten hurt more times than I'd like we've been unappreciated by those who don't understand. My job can be exhausting and there are days I want to relax, maybe throw it all away. But I can't stop. Or better put, I haven't found someone to stop me. Maybe one, but that was a long time ago.
I didn't want to talk about this with anyone else, but you. My friends here may do the same thing, but I needed someone outside of this to talk to. Without discussing the job. I'm constantly trying to defend others I care about from scrutiny, from blame. And yet it doesn't stop. It never stops. I don't trust most people. Only the ones who I'm close to. I trust you. I trust I can spill everything to you. Almost everything. There's something I want to tell you. About me, but I can't bring myself to write it over letters.
It's something I'd rather tell you face to face. I don't mean to keep it private. From you of all people. I've come across people – women - who have seen me, recognized me and all they wanted was to be dating that part of me. They don't see me for who I truly am.
I'm not worried about your reaction. I imagine you're already going to see the person I long to be. I don't think you'll be as expressive as others. I've already shown you who I am through these letters. I've only kept this from you because I…there's no excuse. I'm going to reveal everything to you, I promise.
He's hiding something. It must be something important, I thought. At least he planned to tell me. I understood why he'd rather say something in person. First impressions were interesting an everything. He was right. He had been himself through the letters he sent me. Never holding anything back. I had to admit, he had me curious about what he needed to tell me.
If the trials from earlier this morning had me frustrated, the meeting after only made the frustration worse. We were fussed at about stopping something again. Told we weren't supposed to have two team members part of the effort to stop the danger. It boiled my blood to hear such talk. Wanda deserved better than being cast off as danger to everyone. I needed to get this off my chest.
It burned far too much to leave it in my heart. I waited until everyone left the room to write to you. I'm ranting, venting, bringing myself to write everything out. I even want to tell you everything about me, about my past. I can't, not yet. In time. Please trust me.
"I trust you. Until now, you've not given me any reason not to. I trust you even if you're not telling me something," I said. A truth, but I could sense this secret bothered him, hurt him to keep it from me. Even in writing.
It feels great to get this off my chest. I feel much lighter, relieved. I can breathe easier; the tension releasing. The stress is disappearing. Keira, you've been a great help to me. You still are. I have to meet you. I need to see you. I think maybe towards the middle of January would be a good time. It would good to have a day in hand just in case we don't meet earlier. This might be a short letter but I've nothing left to say. I think we're about to decorate for Christmas.
Christmas. A fun holiday. Brings me back to the dream of being with you in a cabin. I hear Tennessee is pretty this time of year. We could go there. Be among the Smoky Mountains. I'll be sending you a present before you leave for your parents'. I'll try my best to find something that fits you best. Tell me what you think of meeting in the middle of January. Perhaps you have a suggestion of an actual date. You made me extremely happy when you told me you'd like to meet. I have to tell you it kept me in a good mood for the rest of the night.
Patiently waiting for you,
Steve
My breath hitched as he brought me back to the picture, he painted of us together. It was so vivid; I could feel the warmth of the fire and his skin. I craved his arms around me, his lips pressed to mine.
Don't get too carried away with your imagination, I thought. I had picked a day to meet in my letter or days. I selected the 18th to be precise. A Saturday when I'd have nothing but time to spend. I waited for the day his response would come. We wouldn't be prepared for Fate's plan to bring us together.
