Chapter 10
Frisk gasped for air as she bolted upright. She was back in the room in Beatrix's inn, the curtains blocking out any incoming sunlight. The day had reset, but her lungs still burned and her heart still pounded.
Drowned. She had drowned. Or she hit her head too hard to survive. Frisk wasn't really sure. All she knew was she should not have stepped foot anywhere near the river, but she did, and this happened.
Her breathing still heavy, Frisk looked at her pile of clothes sitting on a chair in the corner. She then looked at her hand to see the locket in her palm. Frisk didn't remember taking it off, but she didn't hesitate to chuck it toward her clothes across the room. As if to spite her, the locket safely landed on her sweater.
Shaking, Frisk stared at the necklace as if Chara mocked her from over there. Sobs began passing through her lips every time she exhaled with an open mouth. Frisk's chest felt as if it were hollow, and her eyesight blurred due to the hot tears. She fought it no longer.
Frisk threw her face into her pillow and wailed. She finally allowed herself to grieve for her mother. Crying, Frisk held nothing back as she mourned the life she had with Toriel, taken from her never to be given back. Her sorrow racked her entire body. Frisk was alone. Truly, utterly alone. Chara hated her. The one person she had to count on had killed her twice, the first time thinking she would stay dead.
Burying herself under the blankets, Frisk used the pillow to muffle her screams. The emotional pain was so strong she felt it in her chest. Her heart, which she tried so hard to hold together, was finally breaking.
When Sans awoke that morning, he was hit with a sense of déjà vu. Something felt . . . off. It was when he went downstairs to find Undyne wanting to interrogate him and Papyrus making chocolate chip pancakes that Sans knew.
The day had reset.
It happened before. Rarely, but it was an occasional disrupt in the timeline that was still under study. Only these disruptions happened too far apart from each other to be properly monitored. Except this reset came mere days after the last.
Since neither Undyne nor Papyrus were aware of the reset – only few knew, and Sans was one of the fewer still who remembered the days that no longer happened – Sans stuck to the script from the first time this morning happened. Only near the end did he make some adjustments.
"Honestly, Sans, I have no freaking clue." Undyne organized her things into a neat pile. "Grab your coat, because you and me are going on an expedition."
"Good idea," he said. "We can split the work. You can ask Doggo if he's seen anything, and I'll check if anything is amiss in the remains of Snowdin. Maybe talk to Dogamy and Dogaressa, see what they know."
Sans tried not to let it show that he knew the dogs were dead. He would call someone to collect the ashes before Undyne saw them, but she would still find out sooner or later. He preferred it to be later. The longer it took for Undyne to seek vengeance on Frisk for the deaths, the more time Sans had to figure out what, exactly, to do with the human. To decide if she was still worth protecting.
Undyne scratched her chin, considering Sans's words. "It would be more efficient to split the work," she mumbled. Eyeing him, Undyne asked, "You wouldn't be suggesting that just to get out of work, would you?"
"I'm insulted." Sans placed a hand over where his heart would be. "Do you really think I would try to get out of an important mission like that?"
"Mission?!" Papyrus practically ran out of the kitchen, the plate of steaming hot chocolate pancakes in his hands. "You're going out for your super top-secret mission? Can I come, too?!"
"Yeah," Sans said before Undyne could reply, "Undyne could really use your help getting past all your puzzles on her way to visit Doggo. Wouldn't you, Undyne?"
Undyne glared at Sans as he showed her a smug smile. If she knew what he was doing, she didn't show it.
"I sure could," she grumbled. As Papyrus ran off to get his "super top-secret mission" backpack, Undyne looked at Sans as she growled, "We'll talk tonight."
Lazily taking a sip of his drink, Sans replied, "Whatever you say, Captain."
Frisk didn't know how long she was under the covers, crying herself out. Whenever she thought the tears had dried up, she would think of something that would send a new, fresh wave down her face. She may have slept once or twice, but even in sleep she couldn't escape her sorrow. It was moments like this she wished she was dead, but she could never truly die. It was the cruelest kind of fate.
There was a knock at the door and a request to come in. Frisk ignored it. The knock and request came again. Frisk curled tighter into her ball. Now that she was finally alone, she wanted to keep it that way.
Only the person at the door had no intentions to follow along with Frisk's desire.
"I brought some soup and bread, in case you were hungry," Alice's sweet voice said. There was the sound of the door closing behind her. "You haven't been out of bed all day. Mom and I are worried about you."
"I don't feel like getting up," Frisk mumbled from under the sheets.
"Even with your injury, you should still want to get out of bed and stretch your limbs." When Frisk didn't respond, Alice sighed, set the tray on the nightstand, and sat at the foot of the bed. "Are you okay?"
Frisk laughed without humor. "No."
"Well, at least you're honest." Alice reached out, hesitated, then placed a paw on where she assumed Frisk's shoulder was. Since Frisk didn't try to shrug away the contact, Alice rubbed small circles on the shaking form. "What's wrong?"
"Everything." The new wave of tears hit Frisk hard. "I should have saved her. I could have gone back and saved her, but I was too scared to die. Now I'm alive, and she's dead. I should have died. I should have died."
"Now, now," Alice hushed. "That's no way to talk."
"But everything would be better if I just died," Frisk said, knowing the words would make no sense to Alice. Had Frisk allowed herself to die when the Reds attacked, the day would have reset. Her mother would be alive. Yet Frisk was too scared to die, too determined to live. Now, because of her, because of that determination, Toriel no longer lived.
"Dying is never the answer," Alice said, her voice soft but strong. "I don't know who died, but she wouldn't have wanted you to follow her fate. Nobody who truly loves you would want you to."
At Frisk's lack of reply, Alice asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"
"No," Frisk answered.
"Why not?"
To that, Frisk had no response. Alice couldn't understand, and Frisk didn't feel like explaining. It would be easier to keep the pain to herself, locked away where no one else could see.
"Why don't you get dressed and come downstairs then?" Alice suggested. "We can go outside and explore the town together."
"I don't feel like pretending everything's all right," Frisk muttered. Alice's paw was still on her, and Frisk didn't know what to make of the persistent contact.
"You don't have to," Alice insisted. "If you need to cry, then cry. However, you won't begin to feel better if you hide yourself away and wallow in self-pity."
Frisk knew Alice was right, but the human didn't want to admit it.
"Please at least try," Alice whispered. "I know even those who consider themselves generally sad people wouldn't think locking themselves in their room is a good way to deal with the hurt."
"Why are you being so nice to me?" Frisk asked before she knew the words were out.
"Sometimes, a little kindness goes a long way," Alice answered. "Now, what do you say? Want to hang out, or do you have it in mind to keep yourself locked alone in the dark till who knows how long?"
Frisk weighed her options. As much as she wanted to stay hidden under the covers, blind to the world around her, she knew she would be doing herself no favors. If Toriel was still alive, she would advise Frisk go out and get fresh air. Another sob escaped Frisk. It was her fault Toriel was dead. Life shouldn't go on, Frisk shouldn't go on, without Toriel. It wasn't right.
"Would you at least come out from under there?" Alice asked when Frisk still didn't respond. "I want to look in your eyes to know if you'll be all right."
To answer, Frisk removed the covers. The icy air hit her tear-stricken face like a slap, but the chill immediately started to feel nice against the sweat on her neck and forehead. Her eyes found Alice's, their owner smiling after she beheld the human's red, blotchy features.
"You look like someone who could use a mug of hot chocolate and nice conversation with a friend." Alice swept the hair out of Frisk's face. "Would you like that?"
Acting before thinking, Frisk said, "I would like that very much."
"Then I'll tell Mom to start whipping up a kettle." Alice smiled, showing all her teeth. "I'm Alice, by the way."
That's right. The realization nearly stole the air from Frisk's lungs. Because the day had reset, everything between the last time Frisk woke up to her death had never happened. This was, technically, her first time meeting Alice, and this was Alice's first impression of Frisk.
"I'm Frisk," she said, recovering just in time before Alice could worry over the delay.
"You're a very interesting type of monster," Alice pointed out.
"I get that a lot," Frisk said, a blush crawling up her neck and cheeks.
"Well, you are very pretty," Alice said in attempt to keep her bluntness from being taken rudely. She stood to her feet. "I'll go see about that hot chocolate. If you want to freshen up, feel free. I have a few things to do before I come back, so no need to rush."
After Alice had gone, Frisk went to the washroom to clean the sweat off her body and brush the tangles from her hair. Returning to her room, Frisk debated whether or not she should dress. At the sight of the locket on her clothes, Frisk decided to remain in her sleepwear.
Sitting legs crisscrossed on the foot of her bed, Frisk hugged the pillow and stared at the locket. Tears fell again from her eyes. Chara was all Frisk had left of her mother, but he hated her. Yet more than anything reasonably possible, not knowing why, Frisk wanted to be friends. She needed him, but in other ways, he was the one thing she didn't need.
Frisk hugged the pillow tighter. What she needed was to not be alone. She needed a friend. Alice, Frisk knew, would be that friend.
Maybe, Frisk thought, when he returns, Sans will be, too.
What was most likely meant to be half an hour of conversation turned into three hours of sharing life stories before either girl was aware of the time passed. Alice told Frisk about life in Snowdin and how she and the others adjusted to life in Snowdin Two after the Reds destroyed their town. Frisk in turn told Alice about growing up in the Ruins, purposely leaving out details Alice was better off not knowing. Alice talked about her friend Mon, and Frisk talked about the rocks she used to converse with. They discussed books they read, activities they enjoyed, and their favorite baked goods. It was nice to have a female friend.
"One day," Alice declared, "I shall live in the Capital, owning a bakery with the most beautiful pastries and the most delectable chocolates."
Alice still held the mug in her paws despite the hot chocolate running dry a long time ago. Frisk assumed Alice held it as a prop to give her hands something to do. "What about you, Frisk? Any big, wild dreams?"
"I, uh, don't know." Frisk stared at her lap. "I guess I never really thought about it. Before the Reds attacked my home, I simply lived day-to-day life. I kept up with my studies, reread my favorite books, and spent time with my mom. Beyond that life never crossed my mind."
Alice gave a small smile. "You enjoyed your life?"
"Yes," Frisk didn't hesitate to say. Then she frowned. "But . . . I guess things were changing. Well, I was changing. Mom realized I was growing restless with our simple life, but I assured her things would stay the same. Looking back, I think I said what I did because I was scared. I was happy and comfortable despite deep down craving something new, and I didn't want to admit it aloud to anyone but myself. Then our home was attacked, and I was forced to accept the change I didn't want to come. I lost my mom, and I had to flee the only home I knew. Everything's happened so fast. If I could have any one thing, it would be to go back and continue living life as before. It was less scary that way."
Nodding, Alice replied, "Trust me, I understand. You know I do. However, things change whether we want it to or not, and the quicker we accept it, the better."
"I just wish they didn't have to," Frisk muttered.
"Change can be good," Alice assured her, "and trust me when I tell you that I'm saying this just as much to myself as I am to you." Alice smiled. "Find the good in the bad. If there's none to be found, make it. That's all I can really say."
With nothing left to add, Frisk looked at her toes as she said, "Thank you. For sitting with me and talking with me. I . . . I really needed it."
Alice stood, walked across the room, and sat beside Frisk. Wrapping her arm around the human's shoulders, Alice said, "If you ever need to talk, about anything at all, don't be afraid to come to me. I'm going to say this now: I want to be your friend, but I can only help you as much as you let me."
Frisk nodded.
"Now," Alice said, changing the subject, "how about you and me go downstairs for dinner. I'm sure a hot meal with company will do your weary soul some good."
"I think it will," Frisk agreed. "And Alice?"
"Yes?"
"Can you give me a tour around the town later?" Frisk asked. "I think some fresh air is starting to be called for."
It was with a grin Alice answered, "If you're feeling up for it, we can check out the library after we eat. You said you like books, right?"
After dinner, which she ate with Alice, Beatrix, and Peter, Frisk was given a half hour to clean up and dress accordingly. As Frisk tied up her hair then put on her boots, she kept sneaking glances at the locket. She knew she needed to confront Chara sooner rather than later, but her hands shook every time she thought of their inevitable reunion. In more than just one way, she anticipated seeing him again.
When Frisk confirmed she had ten minutes before Alice would check on her, she put the locket on and tried not to glare as Chara reappeared. To no surprise, he was smirking as he beheld Frisk.
"Next time you get me killed," Frisk said, voice even, "please don't let it be through drowning."
Chara offered nothing more than a half shrug and a single word. "Noted."
Frowning, Frisk asked, "Why did you trick me into slipping on the ice?"
"I wanted to see if you would come back again," Chara answered. "You know, just to be sure your ability is as reliable as you said it is."
Frisk narrowed her eyes. "Will you try to get me killed again?"
"Possibly."
Done with the conversation, Frisk briefly explained, "It's evening. I stayed in all day. Alice is taking me to the library, and as far as she's concerned, this is my first time seeing Snowdin Two."
"I don't know why you're telling me this." Chara studied his nails. "I can't exactly communicate with your friends."
"Is that a fact that bothers you or relieves you?" Frisk asked before she knew she was speaking. Before Chara noticed, she hid her surprise at herself.
"You would do well to keep your mouth shut," Chara answered, growling.
"I would do well to get rid of you!" Frisk snapped. "Now, I must go. Alice will be waiting for me."
Chara rolled his eyes but said nothing else. He wordlessly followed Frisk, his silence a heavy weight on her shoulders. Keeping from gritting her teeth, Frisk decided that Chara's actions could have been worse.
"Ah, there you are." Alice smiled as Frisk walked down the steps. Taking Frisk's hand, Alice said "Let's go!" as she led her towards the door. Stopping right in front of it, Alice spun around and looked at Frisk. "So, you saw nothing of the town when you were brought here?"
It was the exact question Alice asked in a previous version of this day. Wanting to stick to what she knew, Frisk said, "None of it."
"Well, I hope you like surprises."
As before, Alice got behind Frisk and covered her eyes. "I need you to keep your eyes closed until we get to where I want you to be. To do that, you have to trust I won't lead you into a pole or anything." She giggled. "Do you trust me?"
"Why are you letting this play out as before?" Chara asked. "Why not say something new and learn what she will say to a different response?"
It was an interesting suggestion, but not one Frisk wanted to try out just yet. "Yes," she said.
"Good," Alice replied, "because I need you to open the door and lead the way. I'll be right behind you and tell you where to go."
Frisk, knowing everything that would come next, did everything the white rabbit told her to do. When they walked outside, Frisk felt the cold air nip at her face. It all felt the same. Still, Frisk's heart raced at what was to come next.
"On the count of three, okay?"
"Okay, Alice."
Frisk could hear the smile in Alice's voice as she counted. "One, two, three!"
When Alice's paws flew away, Frisk was again lost in awe of the cute town and the large, decorated tree in the center of it. Her smile was genuine as she breathed in the snowy air and surveyed the white sights.
"It's beautiful," she whispered, not intending to repeat herself from before. She was too lost in it all to know what she was doing.
"Yeah, it's quite the sight." Alice laid a hand on the small of Frisk's back and gently pushed her forward. "Don't just stand there. Get closer. Smell the tree. Trust me, you'll love the smell just as much as you love the sight."
Enamored by the sights and smells, Frisk's heart continued to flutter as they walked to the library. The only difference this time was Mon's absence, and Frisk didn't know how to bring up a monster she, as far as Alice was concerned, never met. Since their traveling the town was later in the day this time, Frisk could only assume Mon was busying herself elsewhere.
When they entered the "librarby" – Alice told Frisk the story behind the sign, and Frisk paid attention as if it was the first she heard of it – Frisk found herself drifting towards the books. She ran her fingers along the spines, greeting them as old friends. It was like coming home all over again.
Not to Frisk's surprise, Alice giggled. "You really like books, huh?"
"More or less," Frisk said, not caring to give the same replies as before. Mon wasn't here, and that alone made this experience a different one. Again Frisk's eyes landed on the history, but she felt Chara watching her from behind. He had not spoken, but his presence was impossible to forget.
"Why don't we each check out a book or two?" Alice suggested. "We can sit by the fire and read after we get back. Maybe have some more hot chocolate."
"You had hot chocolate without me?" Chara asked, and he hitched his voice in a way to make it sound as if he was hurt.
Frisk rose an eyebrow at him. If he wasn't smirking, she wouldn't know he merely acted. It was confirmation enough that any emotion Chara showed was as calculated as she previously suspected.
Pulling herself away from the history, Frisk joined Alice as she searched the fairytale section. The selection was small, but Alice pointed out a couple she thought Frisk might like. Since they were thin, Frisk pulled both off the shelf. As Alice looked for a book for herself, Frisk noticed an out of place book within the fairytales.
The Royal Family. The misplacement must have been done by someone visiting the library – the title sounded as if it belonged to a tale, but the sticker on the spine of the book had a series of numbers similar to the history Frisk had just looked at. No librarian would have left this book there.
Before she knew what she was doing, Frisk snuck a glance at Chara to assure he wasn't paying attention and then yanked the book off the shelf. Reasoning did not come till later, but it fit well with her actions. Asgore had tried to take Chara's soul, so it was plausible that the event was documented within the pages. It was losing both his sons that gave the king reason to hate humanity, and Frisk began to wonder if Chara was responsible. The things he said came back to Frisk as she and Alice checked out their books and walked back to the inn. It took a lot of effort to not look at Chara during the trek.
Chara was human, a painfully obvious fact, and Frisk didn't forget Chara said he deserved to die. Maybe Chara had done something, intentionally or not, to result in King Asgore losing his sons. It would explain some things, but there were still more questions rising to the surface.
Upon returning to the inn, Frisk went to her room to drop off the history and a fairytale. As she took the other tale downstairs to read with Alice, Frisk plotted inside her head. After she and Alice turned in for the night and Frisk took off the locket, she would begin reading about the royal family to find where Chara fit into all of this. His past was a total mystery to her, but it wasn't going to stay that way. One way or another, Frisk was going to learn who and what, exactly, was Chara.
