We see Deadpool sitting on the side of the bridge while singing along to Salt-N-Pepa's, "Shoop," on his Walkman while drawing a crude drawing of him shooting a hooded man in the head, with the man saying, "Hi, I'm Al!" The Walkman is labeled with the name, Duncan.
Hey, yeah - I wanna shoop, baby
Shoop, shoop ba-doop. Shoop ba-doop. Shoop ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop
Ummm, you're packed and you're stacked 'specially in the back. Brother, wanna thank your mother for a butt like that (thanks, Mom). Can I get some fries with that shake-shake booty? If looks could kill you would be an uzi. You're a shotgun - bang!
Deadpool notices the audience. "Oh! Oh hello. I know, right. Who's balls did I have to fondle to get my very own movie? I can't tell you, but it does rhyme with, 'Piss McLame.' And let me tell you…" Begins speaking with a thick Canadian accent. "He's got a nice pair of smooth criminals down under." Speaking normally. "Anyway, I got places to be, a face to fix, and… oh…" Deadpool eyes his target: The group of men from the airport earlier. "Bad guys to kill."
We cut to the inside of the car where we see a quartet of men driving while listening to Juice Newton's, "Angel of the Morning." They soon begin approaching the bridge Deadpool is sitting on. Deadpool stands up, getting ready to take these guys out.
"Maximum effort," he said. He then steps off the bridge and falls to the ground. However, thanks to amazing timing, and an insane amount of luck, he enters through the sunroof of the car we'd seen earlier. This causes the car to momentarily go out of control, ramming into another car, which rams into a pole and crashes.
Deadpool then begins fighting the occupants of the vehicle. He elbows the 1st guy, whose name tag reads, 'Dave', in the face; blocks the 2nd guy's, whose name tag reads, 'Same', attack before elbowing him in his face; kicks the 3rd man, whose name tag reads, 'Leonard', in the face; and bashes Same's face into the dashboard. "Cock shot." He hits Dave in the dick. He then rams the Dave into the driver, whose name tag reads, 'Ezekiel', before throwing Dave over his head. This causes the boot of the car to open up, but Dave manages to hang onto the back bumper of the car, but he's hanging on for dear life.
"Ha," Deadpool said with a chuckle. Sam then grabs Deadpool and begins pressing his face against the driver seat's head rest. "Rich Corinthian leather." He then pushes Same back and punches and kicks him in the face. He then grabs Sam's neck with his feet. "I'm looking for, Al," he says, as he breaks the Sam's neck. He punches Ezekiel in the face before showing the Leonard his drawing. "Have you seen this man?" Leonard punches him in the face before grabbing him and bashing his head into the radio, which changes the channel several times, changing between several songs, including 'Come Fly With Us, Blainerific, and Stuck to a Pole'. "Ow, ow, ow, ow…" The radio eventually settles on the song, 'I Wanna Be Famous (Instrumental Version)'. "Hey, catchy song. What, did they tap out at 4 songs?" Leonard continues beating him up.
A motorcyclist, whose name tag reads, 'Tyler', begins approaching the car Deadpool's in. Leonard bashes Deadpool's head in once more before punching him in the face. "Ow, ow." Leonard then pulls out his pistol. "Yanky, yanky." Deadpool grabs Leonard's pistol and diverts its path to shoot the Ezekiel's leg, causing him to scream in pain. Tyler then approaches and pulls out his weapon. Deadpool manages to get out of the way, causing Tyler to shoot Leonard instead.
Deadpool kicks Leonard's corpse out the door, which hits Tyler, causing him to fall off his motorcycle. Leonard's corpse's leg gets caught on his seatbelt, causing him to be drug along the road. Tyler's motorcycle is destroyed, and he's killed. Deadpool then sees Dave climbing back into the car. He punches the bullet wound in the Ezekiel's leg, causing him to scream in agony. This causes him to lift his leg off the gas, allowing for Deadpool to take his place, to which he begins accelerating the vehicle to over 100 MPH. He then presses the cigarette lighter in the car, which begins heating it up.
The car then begins accelerating to the car in front of it. Ezekiel elbows Deadpool in the chest and begins choking him. Dave takes out his pistol and prepares the shoot Deadpool. However, the first car rams into the second car, causing Dave to be propelled to the passenger's seat. The first car hits the second car once more, causing it to crash. Deadpool then pushes Ezekiel's face against the window with his left leg before putting Dave in a choke hold.
He then grabs the cigarette lighter and places it on Dave's forehead, creating a burn spot and causing him to scream. He then places the lighter inside Dave's mouth while covering it, burning his mouth to ashes. "I've never said this, but don't swallow."
A third vehicle approaches the first vehicle. Deadpool notices the guys in the third vehicle have some pretty big guns. Deadpool uses his right leg to turn the wheel, leading to the car turning sharply, causing it to be propelled into the air, causing the occupants to be jostled around like a pinball machine. It begins flipping out, literally. Another motorcyclist, whose name tag reads, 'Brick', sees this and draws his weapon, preparing to blast Deadpool. However, Deadpool grabs by the underwear and gives him and ultra wedgie.
We're then given the exact same freeze frame we saw at the beginning of the film. Deadpool then turns towards the audience. "Shit. Did I leave the stove on?" We got back to regular time. We see Brick get decapitated by his motorcycle chain, as well as the occupants of the vehicle (except for Deadpool) getting flung from the car, killing all of them. Leonard's corpse is flung onto the street sign posted above the freeway, with blood spattering everywhere.
The vehicle continues flipping around until it eventually stops, causing all the cars to stop. We see the damage of the car in full view, which also includes a hubcap spinning around next to it.
We then cut to a giant mansion. The sign out front reads, "Don Charles Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters." We then go inside where we see one of the members of this facility. He was an 8-foot-tall metal being wearing a black one-piece outfit with a silver x on the left side. He was also wearing a white cap over his silver hair. He was known as Colossus. He was eating a fruit salad while watching the news.
"Now, breaking news," a News Reporter, whose name read below the screen as, 'Josh', said. "A multi-car collision turns shots fired on the cross-town expressway this morning. Grid lock has kept police from the scene. Residents are advised to stay in their homes. The assailant appears to be armed, dangerous, and wearing a…" Colossus recognizes the man in the news report.
"Red suit," Colossus said over Josh. He then slammed his fist on the table, as he recognized the man in the news report. "Deadpool. Gwen, come on, we have mission."
"Hey DJ, wait up," Gwen said. She was a skinny, short, Caucasian female with pale skin and short black hair with dyed teal highlights. She was dressed all in black, with black eyeliner and lipstick to go with it. She was also known as Negasonic Teenage Warhead. She and Colossus enter the hanger where they approach the jet.
"I've given Deadpool every chance to join us," Colossus told Negasonic Teenage Warhead. "But he'd rather act like a child. A heavily armed child. When will he grow up and see the benefits of becoming an X-Men?"
"Which benefits?" Negasonic Teenage Warhead asked. "The matching unitards? The house that blows up every few years?"
"Please, the house blowing up builds character," Colossus said with enthusiasm. "You had breakfast, right?" Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. And you know I make a mean breakfast. But since, we have more pressing matters in attend to…" Gives Negasonic Teenage Warhead a granola bar. "Here, a protein bar. It's good for you bones. Deadpool may tried to break yours."HH
Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead get onto the jet and proceed towards the mess Deadpool created on the highway.
