We cut to a helicarrier that's under repair. We see Al and Heather have Courtney bound and gagged. She tries saying something, but the duct tape makes it hard to understand her.
"Put her down over here," Al said. Heather sets her down on some boxes. She pulls out more duct tape and wraps Courtney's hands around a pole. Courtney continues to speak, but she should know that no one can understand her. Al then nods to Heather. "Go on then." Heather removes the duct tape from Courtney's mouth.
"Thanks, dickless." She looks at Al. "And I mean you."
"Wow," Al said, amazed. "You're a talker too. You and Duncan."
"I've been trying to tell you assholes, you've got the wrong girl. My old boyfriend, he's dead."
"See, I thought that too. But he keeps on coming back. Like a cockroach, but uglier." Courtney looks surprised that Duncan is still alive. Al then approaches her. "Now, I may not feel, but he does. Let's see how he fights with your head on the block." Courtney looks scared.
We cut to the Mutant School where we see Deadpool arrive. He's about to knock on the door but Gwen answers it before he can do so.
"Ripley, from Alien 3!" Deadpool said.
"Fuck, you're old." She's clearly unimpressed.
Deadpool gives a fake laugh. "Fake laugh. Hiding real pain. Go get Silver Balls."
"You guys going for a bite?" She said sarcastically. "Early bird special?"
"Oh, like there's something wrong with eating before sundown or saving money. No, you know that bad guy that you let go? He's got my girl. You're gonna help me get her back."
"Duncan, is that you?" Colossus said from the other room.
Deadpool begins yelling. "Yeah, it's me, Deadpool, and I got an offer that you can't refuse." Negasonic Teenage Warhead looks suspicious. "I'm gonna wait out here, okay? It's a big house. It's funny that I only ever see two of you. It's almost like the studio couldn't afford another X-Men."
We then cut to a taxi turning the corner we enter where we see Noah is driving, Deadpool's in the passenger seat looking through his backpack, and Negasonic Teenage Warhead and Colossus are in the back, though Colossus is quite cramped due to his size.
"And that is why, in my opinion, the movie Cocoon is pure pornography," Deadpool said.
"Who brought this shiny creature from Russia?" Noah said, inferring about Colossus.
"Shiny, but deadly. My chrome-penised friend back there has agreed to do me this solid. In exchange, I said that I would consider joining his boy band."
"It's not a boy band, Duncan," Colossus said, offended.
"Sure it's not," Duncan said, clearly not convinced by Colossus' answer. He sighs loudly before turning towards Noah. "So, any luck winning Emma back?"
"I tried to hold on tight, Mr. Pool, but Justin is more craftier and handsomer than me."
"Well, I think you're pretty darn cute."
The cab hits a pothole, causing it to jump up and down. We then hear something hit the truck, hard, and then we hear a man scream. After a moment, Deadpool speaks.
"Noah. What was that?"
Rolf looks guilty. "Uh… That was Justin in the trunk.
Colossus looks suspicious. "Justin?"
"My romantic rival Justin. He's tied up in the trunk. I'm doing as you said, DP. I plan to gut him like a eel, then dump his carcass on Emma's doorstep."
Colossus doesn't look too happy with Deadpool, prompting him to try and cover it up. "I did not tell him to do that. Absolutely not." Colossus doesn't believe him. "It got lost in translation." He then turns towards Noah. "Noah, this is no way to win Emma's heart back!" He then secretly whispers to Noah. "I'm so proud of you." Normal voice. "Drop Justin off, safe and gentle-like." Whisper. "Kill him." Normal voice. "And then, win Emma back… the old-fashioned way: with your boyish charm." Whisper. "Kidnap her." Normal voice. "And give me back the money you stole from." Whisper. "Keep it, and use it to escape the country." Noah looks confused. Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead, who heard everything he said, look at each other.
"He's super dead," Negasonic Teenage Warhead said.
Noah then stops the taxi at the construction site where the helicarrier is under repair. "I presume a crisp high five?"
"For you? Ten." He gives Noah a high ten. He then turns towards Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead. "Okay, guys, let's get out there and make a difference." He then whispers to Noah. "You know what to do." He makes a gesture to Noah and Noah gives a thumbs up, understanding what Deadpool wants him to do with Justin.
"Knock 'em dead, Pool Boy!" Noah yelled out.
Deadpool rubs his hands together in preparation. "Time to make the chimi-fuckin'-changas." Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead exit the cab and join Deadpool, allowing for Noah to drive away. Deadpool begins speaking in voiceover. "Not often a dude ruins your face, skull-stomps your sanity, grabs your future baby mama, and personally sees to four of your five shittiest moments. Let's just say, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas."
Deadpool, Colossus, and Negasonic Teenage Warhead behind doing the Power Walk as DMX's 'X Gon' Give It to Ya' plays in the background. We get close ups of their faces as they walk towards the final battle. Negasonic Teenage Warhead then looks at Deadpool and notices something.
"Hey," She said, disrupting the scene. "Where's your duffle bag?" Deadpool's eyes widen. He turns around and realizes he left his duffle bag of guns in Noah's cab.
We cut to the cab where we see Deadpool trying to call Noah. Noah tries to grab the phone and answer, but he accidentally drops it. He tries to pick it up while he's driving.
Deadpool is shown pacing back and forth, waiting for Noah to pick up.
We see a dump truck pull out in front of Noah's cab. Noah slams on his brakes to avoid getting hit. However, he stopped so abruptly, that the car behind him didn't have enough time to stop, leading to it rear ending Noah's cab. That would be bad enough, but Justin was in the trunk. "Justin?" Justin doesn't respond. "Well, that worked out. Guess now that eel won't do me wrong anymore." Continues driving.
We cut back to Deadpool, who's still waiting for Noah to answer. However, the call goes straight to voicemail.
"Leave a message. Don't have a good day, have a great day."
"God dammit!" Deadpool's angry that he doesn't have any ammunition to back him up. "I'm gonna do this the old-fashioned way, with two swords and maximum effort." He then turns towards the camera. "Cue the music."
'X Gon' Give It to Ya' resumes playing as the trio make their way towards the final battle.
