This hunting trip has been both beautiful and terrifying. With my improved vision I could really see the world clearly, for the first time. I could see every individual splinter of bark on the trees, every drop of rain that fell down above my head. It was breath-taking, it was like I was in a completely different world. But of course, it wasn't all wonderful.
Emmett and I ran freely through the forest – the speed was exhilarating, but nothing compared to the thrill of chasing down our prey and feasting. It was something animalistic, brutal, but incredibly satisfying. My body just seemed to take control, I didn't think, I didn't feel, I just went completely feral. Only when I felt the warm delicious blood rolling down my throat – did I regain control over myself. It was like I was in a trace, the blood pulled me out of it. I could think clearly again. But by then it was too late.
Blood coated my hands; mouth and a few stray drops painted the dress that I was wearing. My hair was disheveled and I was missing a shoe. A deer was lying under me, staring lifelessly in a small pool of blood.
I wasn't very good at hunting yet; Emmett was able to drink from his prey without spilling a drop or making a mess – like I just have.
Lightly I ran my hand over the deer's neck, feeling it's dry, coarse fur. It had been innocent. Just wandering through the forest, feeding on the plant life and minding their own business. Then I came along and ended it all. There was guilt when it came to taking the animal's life. But it was a necessary evil. It was either an animal, or a person. It was an easy choice. But it didn't make any of this easier.
"You will get better with this Bella, don't worry." Emmett said crouching down to place his hand on my shoulder.
There was a sting of electricity that ran down my shoulder at the contact. A chill ran down my spine; causing me to tremble.
Emmett's hand fell from my shoulder with a sheepish look. "Are you alright?"
I slowly stood up, wiping the blood from my hands on the dress. "Yeah, I'm fine."
"Do you want to keep hunting?" Emmett asked, watching me with an unreadable expression. His eyes seemed to scan me over from head to toe. Amusement entered his expression.
I shook my head slightly. "I think I'm fine, but if you don't mind... I'd like to return to the campsite."
The humor slipped from Emmett's face now, his expression turned serious. "Are you sure, it might be... painful."
"It's just something I have to do. I'd like to say goodbye. This will help me move forward."
There was some hesitation, but slowly Emmett moved closer to me. He was now just an arms-length away from me, I could feel his breath hitting me. His scent was something sweet, but rich and earthy. I couldn't describe it, but it was extremely intoxicating.
"Alright, anything you need Bella." He spoke with such conviction. "I'll take you there."
"Thank you,"
Lightly Emmett reached out and took my hand. I tried not to react to his touch. But as we ran next to each other I found myself watching him. He was such an incredible man, strong, powerful and yet so gentle and kind. I owed him my life; I would spend an eternity trying to pay him back.
The way back to the campsite was much longer than I had thought it would be. But the moment that we got close – I began to recognize the subtle changes. There were a few fallen trees, with claw marks against them. I saw three demolished tents – which took my breath away. Like Emmett said I felt pain in my chest as we stepped foot into the campsite.
The truck was still here, with the shattered driver side window. There were also claw marks against the side of the truck. I found myself wandering over to the truck to inspect it. It was an old truck; Charlie had mentioned that he had bought it for me to use – to drive to school. The color was faded, chipped – but it had character. For Charlie's sake, I wish that I could still drive this truck, in his honor. But I wasn't sure where the keys were.
"Are you alright?" Emmett asked, watching between me and the truck.
"Yeah, it's just... I was hoping I could drive this truck. It's in pretty rough shape now, isn't it." I said with a weak smile.
Emmett raised a brow. "Well, if you really want... I'm sure Rose could fix this truck, good as new."
"Really?" I turned to him with hope swelling in my chest. "That would be great... I mean if it isn't too much of a bother."
"Nonsense, it's not a big deal at all." Emmett said with a grin.
With a single exhale I now turned to the rest of the campsite. I caught sight of three wooden boxes; large enough to hold bodies inside of them. The sight of them brought an intense ache to my chest. My body trembled, it felt like I was beginning to sob, but there were no tears.
I wiped at my eyes, purely out of habit.
Emmett moved to my side, putting a single arm around me. He pulled me close to his chest. I held onto him tightly and continued to sob. The pain reminded me of my transition – only without the burning sensation. It was more of a hollow pain.
I didn't know how long I stood there in Emmett's arms. But the longer we stood intertwined, the more I was beginning to feel better. It was nice to just feel that someone was here for me. His hands were rubbing soft circles against my back, which was really distracting.
"Thank you," I whispered as he lightly let me go. "I just can't believe that the only family I had, is gone."
"You have a new family now, it may take some time before it feels that way, but I hope someday, you will consider my family, yours."
"That means a lot." I smiled at him, before looking back to the three wooden boxes. "I'm not even sure what to do with... them."
"Well, in honesty, Edward was the one that came back here and placed them in these boxes. We wanted to make sure you could choose what to do. If you would like us to bury them in a certain place..." Emmett said gently.
Edward had done this? That was really kind of him. Emmett wasn't the only one to help me through all this. It really seems that Edward cares as well. It warmed me.
"I guess burying them would be... something they would have wanted. I'm just not sure where... this isn't something that they ever talked with me about. I wasn't expecting them to... die... so suddenly." It was hard to say it out loud.
"There is a place... it isn't too far from here... but it's a nice spot and you wouldn't have to worry about any random person to stumble upon them." Emmett said with hesitation.
I nodded. "Maybe that would be for the best. But... I'm just not sure if I'm ready to move them... or bury them... could we hold off for just one more day? Would that be alright?" I asked as I walked closer to the boxes. I lightly placed my hand down on the one in the middle.
"That's perfectly fine, take all the time you need." Emmett said giving me some space.
I wasn't brave enough to open the lid of any of the boxes. I knew the bears had really made a massacre on Rene, Charlie and Phil. That's something I couldn't face. I was stricken with guilt. Why did I have to be the one to survive?
It stayed silent between us for a while as I moved to the destroyed tents. I went to the tent that I had been using and quickly collected all of the things that were left behind. Some clothes, a pair of boots, and a few books. Unfortunately, my paperback books didn't survive the rain. I clutched my Wuthering Heights book in my hands. I wouldn't let it go. I couldn't find it in my heart to let my favorite book behind.
Emmett was watching me closely with a puzzled look, but remained quiet as I went through the rest of the tents. I was able to find one of my mother's shirts. It still faintly had her scent. I took that with me. And from Charlie's tent I took out one of his old hats. I wanted some keepsakes.
Even though this had been a nightmare, I wanted to have something to remember my parents.
When I was finished, I returned to where Emmett stood. "I think I'm ready to get back." The rain had started down harder, but it didn't bother me. I could barely feel it. Weather wasn't as big of a deal as it used to be, when I was human. I didn't feel cold anymore.
The rain had caused Emmett's shirt to cling to his chiseled muscles. The sight of him would have caused me to blush – if that was still possible. I was thankful that there was at least one good thing that came out of becoming a vampire. No would could ever tell when I'm embarrassed.
"Are you sure?" Emmett asked with a look of concern.
I nodded my head, pushing a few wet strands of hair from my face. "I think it's for the best. I'll be back again tomorrow to get these boxes moved." I glanced back towards the wooden boxes.
Emmett lightly put his hand on my shoulder – causing me to look in his direction. "I just wanted you to know, I think you are really strong and I know that this is painful right now, but I know you are going to be okay. I'll make sure, that you will always be okay."
"Thanks Emmett, it really means a lot, I have so much to thank you for."
Emmett shook his head. "No, what I did was wrong. I should have given you the choice. To become a vampire. I just... saw you getting attacked... my first instinct was to save you, no matter what." He sighed, turning his head away, but keeping his hand on my shoulder. "I wonder if that's how it was for Rose?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, believe it or not, when I was human, I also was attacked by a bear. Rose found me, but she didn't turn me, she carried me to Carlisle." He said with a low voice. "But when I found you... I just didn't want to risk you dying in my arms. It was selfish of me. I hope you can forgive me."
"Why would I need to forgive you for saving my life?" I chuckled casually.
"Bella, I'm being serious. I'm really sorry for putting you through all this. I've even robbed you the ability to have children of your own." He flinched at his own words. "If I had done this to Rose... well she would never forgive me."
"I'm not Rose, I understand what you did. And I don't hold anything against you. I'm nothing but thankful. If I'm not meant to have kids, so be it. I have an eternity to live my life however I want. Maybe I'll adopt in the future. It's really not a big deal to me." I hesitantly touched his hand; where it was still placed on my shoulder.
He watched me for a long time, not saying anything. I could see that he was deliberating over something. He appeared very unsure about my statement. But he let it go and allowed a cheeky smile to his face.
"Alright then, I guess we can head back, or did you change your mind about continuing our hunt?" He said wagging his brows at me.
I smiled in response. "I guess we could do a little more hunting if you want." There was still a dull burn in the back of my throat. It wouldn't hurt to hunt a bit more on the way back.
By the time we made it back, the sun was just setting in the sky. Although I could tell it was a bit darker, I could still see perfectly fine. I could spot every insect crawling along the dirt path, I could hear cars traveling past – miles away from the house. I could hear everything, and at times it was a bit annoying. I wished that there was somewhere to go, for some peace and quiet.
Once we made it to the porch, Alice and Edward were there waiting for us. Alice gasped in horror at the sight of me.
"Emmett, what did you do? Her outfit is completely ripped to ruined." Alice huffed as she took my hand.
Emmett snickered. "That was all her, she a little beast when it comes to hunting. I almost feel bad for all those deer."
I shot Emmett a look. "Hey, it's still pretty new for me. I thought you said I was doing good?"
Emmett now laughed freely. "Sure, you did fine for a newborn. I'm only picking on you. Don't worry, you'll do even better next time."
Edward narrowed his eyes at Emmett for a moment. They both now held each other's gaze. I could feel the tension starting to rise between them. Apparently, Alice did as well.
"Looks like the boys want to have a little chat. Let's get inside and get you cleaned up Bella." Alice said with a gentle pull.
I allowed her to take me inside the house. Alice walked me up the stair and down a hallway. The hallway was decorated with beautiful paintings and gorgeous flowers. It was so light and feminine, it put me at ease. At the end of the hall was a huge bathroom, inside was both a walk-in shower and separately a huge tub.
Mirrors were set up on each wall. That's what caught my attention, I saw my reflection. I could barely recognize myself. I had never seen myself as being very pretty, I was always plain, normal, unathletic body, brown hair and eyes. I was pale, but not nearly as pale as I was now. The woman staring back at me, was beautiful, she looked confident and strong.
"You're beautiful of course, but the outfit. We need to get that off of you and get all that blood off you as well. I'm sure Rose won't mind if you use her bathroom." Alice said as she began the water in the bathtub.
"Thanks Alice," I said turning back to look at the small pixie-like girl. Her dark spiky hair and bright smile, she was beautiful too. In her own way. I hoped that we could be friends. I felt like I could trust her.
"I'll drop off something for you to wear after your bath. Do you have any requests?" Alice wondered as she pranced to the door.
"Do you have... something comfortable, like pajamas? I know that I can't sleep, but I was hoping to lay down and... pretend to... at least." I said shyly.
Alice laughed gently. "Of course, we all find different ways to pass the night. If pretending to sleep helps you through the night, by all means do whatever you wish... I have just the thing for you to wear."
With that Alice disappeared out the door, leaving me alone to my thoughts. I let the bath water run for a while, as I peeled my wet dress off. Again, I looked at myself in the mirror. Who would have thought turning into a vampire would have boosted my appearance so much. I even looked pretty good naked.
As I got into the tub, I let out a sigh. The warmth felt so nice against my cold skin. I let my eyes shut and just got lost in my thoughts. I thought about Charlie, Rene and Phil. I thought about hunting with Emmett – pretty much all day, I tried to picture what my future would look like.
I could hear everything in the house, Alice was in the room directly below me. Jasper was with her. They spoke quietly back and forth. Edward was seated at a grand piano in the living room, I heard his fingers gliding across the keys. The sound that it caused was amazing. I could feel myself relaxing even further in response. There was someone else in the room with him – her voice was gentle and motherly. Carlisle was at the far end of the house, reading something. I could hear him flipping through the pages. I tried to locate Emmett, but I couldn't quite find him. Had he gone back out to hunt more?
I had been so focused on trying to find Emmett but I didn't realize that someone had entered the bathroom. I jumped a little as Rose walked up to the tub. Her expression was unreadable.
"U-um, hey Rose, did you... need something?" I asked, sliding myself down further in the water to keep any bare skin out of sight.
"I thought maybe I'd find my husband in here." Her tone was flat, she didn't look in my direction.
"Emmett? Why would he be in here?" I said quietly.
I tried not to picture that, Emmett being here with me. Honestly the thought had my entire body vibrating. Emmett was a very attractive man...
"He has been following you around like a lost puppy. Ever since he brought you home. I had thought it was just him taking responsibility for turning you... but I'm not so sure." As Rose spoke, she began taking her clothes off.
I quickly looked away from her.
Rose started the shower now and I heard her step inside. I peeked over to see she was standing under the shower head, letting water hit her face. I avoided looking at her body. I knew the sight of her would only depress me.
"Why would you think any differently, of course Emmett is just trying to help me out. It doesn't go any further than that." I said with a sigh.
"The thing is Bella; I know my husband very well. He isn't acting himself. And it started when you showed up. Would you like to tell me what the two of you did all day today?" Her tone sounded full of distrust.
"We went hunting, then we went back to the campsite. There were a few things I wanted to take with me. That's all." I said letting my eyes close. I was trying to relax. Rose's suspicion was ridiculous. Did she really think Emmett would have an affair? And with me?
"That doesn't explain why he is in such a mood. I tried talking with him, but he said he wanted to be alone tonight. He went off into the woods."
"We did talk a little bit about when you saved him. He told me that you found him, getting mauled by a bear. You took him to Carlisle. He mentioned that he wished that he would have done the same for me. He feels bad that he made the choice to turn me." I responded.
Rose paused, only the sounds of the shower was heard between us. With some courage I looked over, to see she was staring at me. I felt a bit self-conscious, but I held her gaze.
"I guess that could explain why he is acting like this. But still... I have a feeling in my gut, that something is going to happen." She said with a heavy sigh.
"I don't think you have anything to worry about Rose, look at me. I am nothing compared to you. I'm just... broken." I admitted, looking down in shame. It was the truth; I could still see flashes of the bear attack every time I closed my eyes. I could see one by one, my family dying in front of me. And now, I couldn't recognize myself. I was in a new world; a new body and I couldn't seem to get used to it.
Abruptly the water running in the shower stopped and Rose stepped out, wrapping a towel around herself. She took a seat at the corner of the tub as she dried her hair.
"Don't say things like that. I know that you feel like you may never feel whole again. You have lost a lot of who you used to be. But this only means now you can reinvent yourself. You have an empty book, fresh pages, you are in control of your future. You can fill your book with more heartache, or you can hold your head up high and create a new beautiful story." Rose spoke with a tiny smile.
I smiled as well, really taking what she said to heart. I was about to respond when the bathroom door came flying open, revealing Emmett.
"Babe, hey I'm sorry, let's talk." Emmett said moving more into the room. But he froze as his eyes fell on me.
His eyes seemed to be lingering towards my chest. That's when I noticed that my breasts were exposed. I quickly lowered myself below the water.
"Emmett, could you give us a second." Rose said heatedly with a glare on her face. She didn't not appear happy at all that Emmett came barging in.
"O-oh, sorry about that, I didn't realize that you were in here too Bella." Emmett stuttered, he looked between Rose and I. He seemed to be shifting himself uncomfortable now. But he didn't leave the room.
"Emmett," Rose said with irritation seeping through her tone. "Get out, we will talk when I'm finished speaking with Bella."
"Right, yeah... I'll just be... in our room." Emmett said, giving me one last look before walking out the door.
As soon as he was gone, Rose groaned, rubbing her face roughly. "Do you see what I mean? There is no way that he didn't know you were in here."
I cleared my throat. "I can't tell you why Emmett is acting like this. Maybe it's something you should talk with him about. I just don't want in the middle of it."
Rose nodded with an unreadable expression on her face. "Fair enough, but I will trust that if he says anything strange to you... you will tell me." Her tone was subtly threatening.
"Of course," I muttered looking away from her.
She was quick to take hold of my face, she firmly turned my head to look into her eyes. Her expression was hard. "I mean it Bella, promise me that you will come to me, if Emmett does or says something in the least bit flirtatious."
"Alright, I promise." I said quickly.
Rose was beginning to scare me. Why would she think Emmett would do something like that? He is a good man; I may not know him as well as the others. But I know that he is a great person. He wouldn't flirt with me. He would never see me like that.
This seemed to satisfy her. She let go of me and walked out of the bathroom, without another look. Relief filled me when she was out of sight. I slid myself down under the water and closed my eyes. Things were already confusing enough. I didn't need to get myself in the middle of relationship drama.
I waited for a while before getting out of the tub, I was drying myself off when Alice came bouncing back into the room. At this point I was used to my privacy getting invaded. Alice brought in a fuzzy top and matching fuzzy short.
"I hope this will be okay." Alice offered me a weak smile. "All the other pajamas I had... would probably only cause you more trouble."
I raised a brow. "What do you mean by that?"
"Well, the other pajamas are a bit more... sensual. Emmett is already in trouble. It's best to not stir up any more issues." Alice said chewing her bottom lip.
"Not you too," I sighed, turning myself around to pull on the top. Alice looked away from me completely so I could put the bottoms on.
"Try not to take it personally. Rose isn't used to someone else getting Emmett's full attention. I'm sure it will get better."
I guess that is understandable. They have no doubt, been married for a really long time. Their bond is strong. Maybe Rose was just a little overprotective of their relationship. I don't have much experience with love, I've never even had a boyfriend.
"I just hope I haven't already overstayed my welcome."
Alice giggled and nudged my shoulder before taking my hand again to walk me out of the bathroom. "Don't be silly. This is your home now Bella. We are all happy to have you here."
From the corner of my eye, I noticed Jasper leaning against the wall, watching the two of us closely. He looked like he was ready to dart in between us. It was getting tiring to feel like I was some kind of threat to the others here. But he was just concerned for his wife. I couldn't hold that against him. Hopefully someday I would find my place in this dysfunctional family.
Alice and I walked up another flight of stairs, up to the very top floor. Went entered the very first room, it was plain, but elegant. Three pale marble walls and the fourth wall was entirely made of glass. I could easily see out into the forest; rain was hitting lightly against the glass. A ripple of lightening ripped through the sky. It was mostly empty, except for a large, king size bed.
"We figured that over time you could decorate your room any way that you would like. For now, we just brought in this bed. I hope that's okay." Alice said with a knowing smile. As if she already knew what my answer was going to be.
"It's perfect, thank you so much." I said with a wide smile. Just like Rose had said, I had a blank book in my hands, I could create my new life here. I had control over my own future. This was my second chance. I would be sure to do things differently. I would embrace this new start with my whole being.
"I'll leave you to it then. If you need anything, I'm right down the hall from you." Alice said with an animated look. "Feel free to stop by."
"Thanks again." I said waving to her as she left me. She closed the door lightly behind her. I was relieved by finally be alone again. I had a lot to think about.
Hesitantly I moved over to the bed and sat down. The mattress was soft and luxurious. The sheets were smooth, with some kind of satin material. There were seven multi-colored pillows at the head of the bed and fuzzy blankets folded up neatly at the bottom.
I wrapped myself up in one of the blankets and pulled out one of the books that I had gathered up from the campsite. I decided on The Anne of Green Gables. It was a book that I didn't read very often, but when I was particularly stress, I always chose to read. I escaped reality for a moment.
It was easy to get comfortable, but I found myself beginning to daydream. Flashes of Emmett entered my mind. I couldn't stop myself from thinking about his arms around me. His soft voice.
I huffed, throwing the book to the side to roll myself in a tight ball. I didn't want to think of him. He was a married man. I needed to get him out of my mind.
As if answering me, a soft, brilliant melody caught my attention. It sounded close. I didn't realize that I had begun following the music until I found myself across from my room, in the doorway to Edward's room. I didn't know Edward was just across the hall.
Edward's hands paused; he was sitting at a beautiful grand piano. He glanced over his shoulder. A slight crooked smile came to his face as I slowly walked further inside.
Without a word he waved me over to take a seat next to him.
Shyly, I did as he directed and sat down next to him. He began to play again, the sound changing into something lighter, almost joyful, but slow and deliberate.
"Do you play?" He asked quietly, watching me with interest.
"Not at all, Rene had tried getting me into piano lessons when I was younger, but I could never catch on. I've never been the most graceful." I admitted.
Something I said must have been amusing to him – he chuckled quietly. "So, is there some kind of hobby that you were interested in?"
I paused, thinking about his words. "I mostly read, as far as hobbies go. I also liked to cook. But there is no use for that anymore."
Edward hummed, glancing at me as he continued to play. "I see... and how does that make you feel?"
I cleared my throat. "Well to be honest, I'm trying to take the good with the bad. I may have lost the ability to eat, but I gained strength and an eternity to find new hobbies."
"But for right now, you're unhappy." He concluded.
I shrugged my shoulders. "I'm not thrilled... but..." I couldn't find words to describe what I was feeling right now.
"I'm sorry to bother you with the questions. I'm just trying to figure you out. I can't read your thoughts... it vexes me." He admitted.
I couldn't help but smile a bit. "I've been told I'm an open book. I'm sure it won't be long before you will figure me out."
Edward inched a little closer to me, his golden eyes had me in a trace. "I'm not sure about that, but I look forward to discovering who Bella Swan is."
If I had still been human, I knew that I would have been blushing. I ducked my head down in embarrassment. "I'd like to get to know you too Edward."
"Tell me, how did your first hunting trip go?" He wondered, still letting his finger dance across the ivory keys.
"It was okay, I'm not too good at it yet. Killing defenseless animals isn't exactly easy for me. But it's better than the alternative."
For a while we sat in silence, I just listened to him play his music. I hesitantly placed my fingers on the keys when he stopped. I attempted to copy the melody, but it sounded nothing like how Edward played.
He chuckled at my attempt, but suddenly his hands were above mine. The contact brought a buzz of electricity through my arms. I wasn't sure if he felt it as well, if he did, his expression didn't show it. Instead, he lightly pushed and moved my hands along the keys.
I felt his breath on my neck. Soon he had my hands creating the most amazing music. I recognized the tune. It was Clair de lune. It was a sound that I knew well. At times Rene would have this song playing.
I hadn't realized that I had now relaxed into Edward's side. He didn't seem to mind it, so I didn't move. Instead, we got lost.
"It's beautiful," I whispered quietly as the song ended. "Clair de lune, it's one of my favorites."
Edward raised a brow. "A lover of the classics, I wouldn't have thought." There was a slight pause. "If you would like, I could teach you."
I felt a huge smile come to my face now. "You would really do that?"
"Well not without something in return."
"Name your price." I couldn't imagine what Edward might want from me. I really didn't have much to give.
"I'll teach you, in exchange – I'd like for you to share your thoughts with me. One lesson, one thought, big or small. How does that sound?" His eyes captured mine. He was dazzling, I felt my breath catch. How could I deny him? I had to look away to regain my composure.
"I suppose that sounds fair. When do we start?"
"Well, if you aren't terribly busy, I think I'm free tonight." His brilliant smile brought a hard pull to my chest. I knew that my heart was no longer beating, but if it could, it would be beating so hard that I couldn't breathe. I didn't know why Edward brought such a response from me. But I didn't question it. I truly enjoyed this time with him.
"I think my schedule is pretty open for tonight as well." I said with a laugh of my own.
For the rest of the night, Edward and I spent time together. We talked about our pasts, our likes and dislikes, or dreams. He taught me a few simple keys. I was surprised how fast I was catching on, it never clicked for me in the past. I could only blame this on becoming a vampire. My mind has never been so clear, my ability to focus was on another level, even with Edward's distracting beauty.
I hadn't even realized how long we had been together, until the sun began to rise in the sky. Time seemed to move so quickly. I felt bad for taking up all of Edward's night. But he didn't seem to mind it at all.
Maybe things really would get easier. I just had to be patient. With Edward... and Emmett in my life, I don't think I'll ever be bored.
What do you all think so far? Who do you think Bella will choose?
Leave a review to let me know what you're thinking. Thanks for reading!
