Chapter 210: An Awkward Counsel from Sue

I had a difficult time sleeping with nurses coming in and out of the room to check my monitor and my vitals. I was sleeping when I was woken up by a loud knock on the door. I curiously glanced at the door, and Dr. River came in with Sue following him.

Sue greeted me kindly, "morning, Ale. How are you feeling?"

I thought about it, and I said plainly, "I'm..okay."

She nodded, and Dr. River said, "okay, I am going to unstrap you so you can speak with Sue more comfortably."

He unstraps me, and I used that chance to stretch my back and rub more sore arms and waist. Sue grabbed a chair, and she pulled up next to me. I adjusted the bed so I can be leaned more froward than back. I stared at Sue uneasily and she had such kind eyes.

I looked away, and I said, "so, what are we going to talk about?"

She said, "whatever you want to talk about out."

I glanced at her unsurely and asked, "I don't know..is there something you want to know about me?"

She said, "if..you are comfortable talking about it, what led up to this incident. We noticed that in Eva's room, there was a suicide note."

Okay, what can I say..so I said, "..I don't know..I just feel tired, and alone."

I think that sounded okay, right? She repeated softly to herself, "alone."

She said softly, "I could see how that could be the case. You just lost your grandmother, and returning back home from college, it might have triggered some memories."

I nodded. She aint wrong about that.

She asked softly, "Were you feeling this way before you broke your leg?"

I looked away and mumbled, "..yeah." Wasn't a lie, Alegria did wrote the suicide note before..the meadow.

She said apologetically, "I'm sorry. I think..the reservation and I have to apologize to you. We..didn't look after you like we should of. Even though you weren't born nor raised in the reservation, you are still family."

I said nonchalantly, "there isn't anything for you to apologize for. It was my decision..at the end."

She shook her head, "we do. Eva..she made the council promise her that we'll look after you, but..because we got caught up with the pack, we..didn't keep tabs on you and I am sorry..Eva..she talk great thing about you."

Eh…I sort of don't wanna see how great Alegria was. She is great and all, but..it'll only make me feel more guilty that I am living her life and they don't know about it.

I said dryly, "Oh, yeah?"

She nodded with a small smile, "Yes. I haven't seen her so lively in years. She would boast who smart and capable you are. The kind soul that you have, and despite of everything that you went through, you continued to be the strong but sweet girl that you are.."

I didn't realize I said this out loud, but I said "..but that's not me."

Sue asked gently, "then who are you?"

Fuck. I didn't mean to say my thoughts out loud like that, so I said thickly, "I-I..don't know._

I turned away because tears were building up from my eyes. I tried to hold back from a sob by covering my mouth with my hand, and Sue said softly, "it's okay. Everything in this room, stays here. Let yourself feel."

It was like a damn broke through, and I started cry uncontrollably. I started to ramble. "I feel so overwhelmed. I don't know what to do anymore. This isn't what I am expecting. I feel like I have been thrown into ..this ..without any direction, and I feel like I am expected to be..this certain way...but I'm not. I..am not the girl from the past, and I don't know how to move forward.."

Sue simply was nodding as she was listening carefully to what I was saying. I was trying my hardest not to give away too much but also enough to see that I really am messed up in the head. I shouldn't be the Alpha's mate or become the Alpha Female, but yet here I am.

She said, "I..cannot imagine the grief that you are going through, Ale. But, I firmly believe that there is a reason why you were imprinted on by Sam during this dark time in your life. Maybe..the spirits knew you needed someone to help you, to show you love and compassion that you deserve, so you'll be reminded of who you are and how much potential you have. You deserve so much, and I know the spirits will guide you and help you. You aren't alone in anymore. You have me, the council, the pack, and Sam. ..Sam is yours."

I sort of didn't like how she said 'Sam is yours', but the way she said it. It clicked to me. Sam is mine..Out of all things in this world, Sam is mine Alegria Maria Lopez. He something that I can call my own despite of everything else to be the original Alegria's. …Maybe..I can depend on him and lean onto him. If..I want to survive in this reality, I need to start claiming this life as my own, don't I?

I could start with Sam…

Then, there was a buzz in her pocket, and Sue apologizes, "I am sorry. My husband Harry is coming to Forks to drop off lunch for me."

I nodded, then I froze.

Harry?

Author's Note:

I'll be sending the next chapter in a hour. This chapter got too long, so I divided into two.